^ this is an excellent point, with social circles, i personally feel like lack of total FREEDOM of choice, it sometimes feel like a job at times.
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^ this is an excellent point, with social circles, i personally feel like lack of total FREEDOM of choice, it sometimes feel like a job at times.
@Skills I really think it depends on how you use your social circle. Yes, if you are a follower you will waste a lot of time. But if you just invite people to do stuff with you that's aligned with your goals, then it's all good. If you know what you want, and use your time in circles regarding that, you can create very efficient social circles.
I just think people tend to fuck this up because of FOMO. A lot of people are really bad at saying no to. If you learn to say no to things you don't like, and focus on what you want, I don't see a problem and in my experience that tend to have more benefits than not spending time social circles.
I just think people tend to fuck this up because of FOMO. A lot of people are really bad at saying no to. If you learn to say no to things you don't like, and focus on what you want, I don't see a problem and in my experience that tend to have more benefits than not spending time social circles.
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Because it's easier mentally and a path of least resistance, even if it isn't, its a hell of a situation to know you can even meet women through friends and in many ways. Like a successful business, you have to get sales through various means whether directly or the channel partner approach!
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The issue with guys who get stuck on one versus the other is that it turns into very much black and white, all or nothing type of thinking.
I can only get girls through cold approach, everything else is a waste of time.
I can only get girls through social circles, all else sucks.
Once you get to a certain stage, I strongly believe the best men leverage all avenues to meet new women. Yeah you might be decent at approaching and cold approach is always fun when you get good at it. I mean the power of knowing you can see a hot girl and you have what it takes to take her home despite not even knowing her at first. You will always have that urge as a guy even if you have women in your life or are satisfactory there, you'll always see that one girl that catches your eye.
That's not to say cold approach is the end all be all, I think it is good to have friends and work on social skills as you meet women. While your social circles will fall apart due to people moving, the skills it took to build them will carry over. You don't even have to create the elite socialite social circle I feel, you can just be a person that has friends and hot girls that want to tag along for an adventure.
Same with guys that dismiss online dating, it's a great way to meet women and quite easy once you master it, as long as it is not the only tool in your arsenal.
I am going to dig more at this social circle thing and who knows, in a year if I am where I want to be, maybe I can write out a guide and share something that turns into article quality!
I can only get girls through cold approach, everything else is a waste of time.
I can only get girls through social circles, all else sucks.
Once you get to a certain stage, I strongly believe the best men leverage all avenues to meet new women. Yeah you might be decent at approaching and cold approach is always fun when you get good at it. I mean the power of knowing you can see a hot girl and you have what it takes to take her home despite not even knowing her at first. You will always have that urge as a guy even if you have women in your life or are satisfactory there, you'll always see that one girl that catches your eye.
That's not to say cold approach is the end all be all, I think it is good to have friends and work on social skills as you meet women. While your social circles will fall apart due to people moving, the skills it took to build them will carry over. You don't even have to create the elite socialite social circle I feel, you can just be a person that has friends and hot girls that want to tag along for an adventure.
Same with guys that dismiss online dating, it's a great way to meet women and quite easy once you master it, as long as it is not the only tool in your arsenal.
I am going to dig more at this social circle thing and who knows, in a year if I am where I want to be, maybe I can write out a guide and share something that turns into article quality!
Post of the year right there. Being an attractive man in 2020 requires more than just game. You need a solid lifestyle (e.g., career, friends), good looks, AND good game.
The biggest downfall of the "PUA" industry is that it promises that you can get laid with hot girls just by being confident and spitting some lines. That may have been the case like 10 years ago, but not anymore. Now with the emphasis on Instagram and dating apps, girls want to see a man's value before even considering him. They want to see that he has money, good looking friends, does fun things, works out, dresses well, etc.
But for a lot of guys (including me) accomplishing these goals are HARD. And they certainly don't happen overnight.
A lot of guys just go to their shitty jobs, go to the gym, cook, eat, watch some tv or read a book before going to sleep and then doing the same thing all over again.
But this isn't entirely their fault. There are probably a lot of factors at play keeping these men stuck in their cycles. For example, they might not be interested in learning any in-demand skills (e.g., trades) or they might not be "smart" enough to be able to wrap their heads around profitable concepts like coding and mathematics. Therefore, they stick to their shitty jobs, which they enjoy (or don't mind), but don't allow them to make lots of $$$.
They might have been bullied when they were younger, so they grew up having a hard time trusting other people. Therefore, they don't have any friends.
Or they might've had friends, but for whatever reason, they split up (e.g., pot-smoking, video-game playing friends who had to be dropped or friends in college who moved away to a different city after graduation) and they don't have any hobbies or interests that allow them to meet new people (e.g., all they do is work, gym, cook, and read).
What Oh Pry wants is a solid group of friends to share fun experiences with. This is something that EVERYONE WANTS. It doesn't matter how introverted or extroverted you are. We are all social creatures who crave human connection.
Unfortunately, I find that as you grow up, it becomes harder and harder to make friends. Especially friends who want to party and "have fun." After college, a lot of people are focused on their careers and "settling down."
If you want to be part of a group that parties and engages in hedonistic pursuits, you probably have to niche down really hard: become involved in nightlife (e.g., bartender, DJ, club promoter)... become a photographer for famous Instagram models... maybe go back to school and join a frat (lol). I honestly wish I knew the answer, but the reality is that I don't.
I'm just a 25-year old incel who's approached over 1000 girls but never really had much success. My perspective on "game" changed when I spent 6 months attending a prestigious party university in California. I realized that all the guys partying and sleeping with the hottest girls were frat guys. And of course, these social circles were closed off to outsiders. Life after university isn't really any different. The high status groups are mostly closed off. High-value guys are extremely wary of low-value guys coming in and sucking value. YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO BRING SOMETHING TO THE TABLE.
But for most guys (because of what I discussed above... their temperaments, their interests, and their histories), being someone who is extremely rich, social, and well-connected is not something that can just happen.
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This is not very accurate.
Having a group of solid friends does not imply that you will party with all of them. This is especially true in when you are 35+. I have several good friends I never go out with as they are not interested in such pursuits anymore, but I share other interests with them. Also I find it annoying to go out with most people who are not dedicated PUAs as they are not in the same headspace. Normies also tend to have shitty alcohol control and state control. This more or less rules out larger groups. Going out with larger groups, especially mixed male-female group nearly always equates chaos in venue selection and often cockblocking. I either go out alone or with an experienced wing or semi-natural level guy. And go to a party maybe every second month lol.
I assume you are from the US as you talk about frats? I have noticed a lot of complaints about such dynamics from US guys, strange claims about social circles as being some sort of ultra-exclusive concept.
This is rather absurd for me as a Scandinavian as we do not have frats here, students do not live on campus and there is no hype and propaganda about the "college experience".
I have been doing a fair amount of social circle game, however these were not elite-level social circles, more like circles with average party girls around certain venues in a city of 600 K people. Aaron Sleazy has been talking about similar stuff (extended social circles around niche venues). This must certainly also exist in the US.
I think this is a much better thing to aim for if you are an incel or experienced. You don't want to attempt the elite-level social circle game before you master mid-level social circle. You will also learn a lot of more basic calibration in such settings, I for sure did, and it was actually very beneficial in order to master cold approach game. You have much larger windows of time to make a good impression in social circle. Try to lay a couple of 5s, then move onto 7s.
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Did you want to join a frat? If so, why didn’t you join one? I agree that apps and instagram have made things harder, yes. It’s because there’s so many simp men spending money on women, giving them compliments for every picture, and some women have the chance of getting a celebrity because of ig.
I mean if you feel that’s the only way of getting girls then why not work towards those goals?
If you don’t have friends or a fun life to show off, then focus on what you can; like working out and dressing better, etc. Anyone can do that.
This site doesn’t teach lines, it teaches men a lot of self improvement all together.
You can still bag chicks without a social group, you just gotta go out there repeatedly and get better with each outing.
Also frats aren’t a guaranteed thing after college, I know someone who doesn’t even talk to his people anymore and is basically doing things on his own as if he never joined. He told me he had a lot of fun while in it, but that fun didn't carry over.
The thing is that he said the same thing about having to join a frat to get chicks, the thing is that he tried to join many before he got into one.
So when I hear people talk about frats and stuff, I wonder why they never joined or tried to join something.
Going out and pulling girls alone feels so much better to me, I don’t mind having a few friends with me, but I don’t really care for the whole big social circle thing. Plus when your group gets bored of it in a few years, are you gonna be ready to settle down as well? You never know with social circle.
Everyone’s different though.
In my college, Greek life was pretty hardcore. It felt like every other person was a frat bro or sorority girl. I too struggled with getting laid in college, but it was more to do with not prioritizing it due to intense schoolwork. I just wasn’t actually talking to girls. If you’re not doing that as a bare minimum than no shit you won’t get laid
There were three options:
1.) frat house parties (neighborhoods turn into little nightlife districts)
2.) the local bar strip (more tight-nit groups than what you’d find in a city club area imo)
3.) daygame
All 3 were challenging in there own way.
If I had done college all over, I still wouldn’t have joined a frat since there’s still something about frats and frat life that rub me the wrong way. But I definitely would have done (a) more daygame and (b) befriended frat guys I already kinda new to join their parties. Frat parties are just like exclusive clubs where you need to be on a list or know someone to get in
Maybe someone who got good results in Greek life while not being in it can comment about their method.
There were three options:
1.) frat house parties (neighborhoods turn into little nightlife districts)
2.) the local bar strip (more tight-nit groups than what you’d find in a city club area imo)
3.) daygame
All 3 were challenging in there own way.
If I had done college all over, I still wouldn’t have joined a frat since there’s still something about frats and frat life that rub me the wrong way. But I definitely would have done (a) more daygame and (b) befriended frat guys I already kinda new to join their parties. Frat parties are just like exclusive clubs where you need to be on a list or know someone to get in
Maybe someone who got good results in Greek life while not being in it can comment about their method.
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I had an opportunity to join a frat but they needed to haze me first... No thanks lmao. I was (and am) too prideful for that. Even to get access to girls.
Still had a chance with a sorority girl I met in class. I blew it with my awkwardness though. I know a bit better now lol.
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Please do not join a fraternity after college, that is very cringe. You should not even bother with Greek Life after the age of 18 to 19 because it is just strange. I have family members who rushed the kind of fraternities everyone wants to get into at the top party schools down south, here is what most of them look at:
As I said in an earlier post though, most of these dudes do not really slay, only a select few do. If you want something like it, join a group of rich single men with loose morals.
For the earlier requests in bettering social life after school and meeting new people, might want to give this a read, I found it to be in line with my experience on what works.
millennialbachelor.com
- What kind of a family do you come from? Do you have rich parents?
- What area did you go to high school in? (some of the top frats draw from certain wealthy high school districts)
- Are you socially well-adjusted for them to have you in front of women?
- Race, an old row frat will rarely give bids to black or Hispanic guys (this is purely the SEC though)
As I said in an earlier post though, most of these dudes do not really slay, only a select few do. If you want something like it, join a group of rich single men with loose morals.
For the earlier requests in bettering social life after school and meeting new people, might want to give this a read, I found it to be in line with my experience on what works.
How to actually grow your social life.
In my previous post, I talked about why having some sort of a social life is actually a key part of having the results you want with women. Given the name of the site, this is more geared towards g…
millennialbachelor.com
More like belly laugh of the year! LOL!
And you KNOW all this for a fact?
Who cares about the downfall of the "PUA" industry, the reason why it grew in the first place is because "PUA gurus" told lazy frustrated chumps exactly what they wanted to hear.
Had they told the frustrated chumps the truth that it will require years of hard work, they wouldn't have been a "PUA" industry in the first place
It was never the case 10 or 15 years ago, it didn't work then either.
Rationalizing excuses to not take action, me thinks.
Instagram and dating apps didn't change the millions of years biological evolution in the female mating psyche.
Learning pick up is hard and it won't happen overnight. Your problem is that you are deluding yourself with what you think is needed.
Has nothing to do with money, just another delusion.
I know several guys who do well with women who don't make much money. One guy I know hasn't had a job in 12 years, has a total knockout of a wife that is 25 years younger who supports him financially and does most of the house work. They have 3 kids and been together for 15 years.
I have VERY few people in my life that I would call friends and have been with hundreds of women, there is no correlation between the two.
Mother nature has a very efficient way of eliminating lazy excuse makers from the gene pool.
Personally I think Oh Pry is going through a depression and is looking for emotional tampons, hence the lack of action and reposting the same topic over and over again.
I recognize the symptoms having been through something similar myself 15 years ago.
But how can they settle down after college? According to you:
"Being an attractive man in 2020 requires more than just game. You need a solid lifestyle (e.g., career, friends), good looks, AND good game"
How could they have built up a "solid lifestyle (e.g., career, friends)" so quickly after having huge student debt from college?
It's good that you admit that you don't know the answer. Your next step is learning how to filter out the bullshit (needing money, status, friends etc) that is holding you back.
Interesting, so how does a former frat guy sleep with hot girls after college?
How do guys in European and Asian universities (where there are no fraternities) sleep with the hottest girls?
There aren't secret closed off high status groups with a spread out pussy buffet, just waiting for all the guys who are high status enough to get in. Just more delusion.
You don't need to bring anything to any table, you need to discover YOUR OWN VALUE then you will also become a "high status guy"
More delusion.
Most guys will fail with PU / seduction, either because they are lazy excuse makers who don't want to take action or are so deeply ingrained in their own delusions of how things work that they put themselves in their own virtual inescapable prisons.
You and Truthtomasses are in the latter category.
You both have such deeply ingrained delusions and belief systems, that would be a challenge for even the best seduction coaches. Neither of you will progress until you've learned to let go of these tightly held belief systems.
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Troll: this post has been rated a "Troll post" by forum members
We might need to order tampons for people on this thread that are attacking others for voicing their opinion, don't ya think?
The crowd here is very pro-game so a statement might get taken the wrong way but I fail to see how improving your life is harming you in doing well with women. Yeah there are unemployed guys and criminals that do well with women but why are we aspiring to be like these men? I am the first guy to attack the more to life than pussy crowd but it's not worth being a loser or risking your freedom for a lay.
If you are still in the mindset that game alone will somehow get you the top quality women from guys who are killing it in other areas of life, your brainwashed. No one is denying the importance of game, you can't close without it. What we are saying is you'll need more than just that to get laid with the women a lot of other guys out there want. Men should always be working on improving their lives even if it was not completely relevant to game.
I work as a sales manager, even the best salesman will struggle to sell a shit product compared to an average salesman who is selling one that is good. If you have an issue with that fact then take it up with God or the Universe, they write the rules, not me.
As for "discovering your own value" and all of that garbage, please read the article here on ego, you can't live a lie.
www.girlschase.com
The crowd here is very pro-game so a statement might get taken the wrong way but I fail to see how improving your life is harming you in doing well with women. Yeah there are unemployed guys and criminals that do well with women but why are we aspiring to be like these men? I am the first guy to attack the more to life than pussy crowd but it's not worth being a loser or risking your freedom for a lay.
If you are still in the mindset that game alone will somehow get you the top quality women from guys who are killing it in other areas of life, your brainwashed. No one is denying the importance of game, you can't close without it. What we are saying is you'll need more than just that to get laid with the women a lot of other guys out there want. Men should always be working on improving their lives even if it was not completely relevant to game.
I work as a sales manager, even the best salesman will struggle to sell a shit product compared to an average salesman who is selling one that is good. If you have an issue with that fact then take it up with God or the Universe, they write the rules, not me.
As for "discovering your own value" and all of that garbage, please read the article here on ego, you can't live a lie.
Perfect Just as You Are? If You Want Results, Ditch the Egotism
The vast majority of people in the world operate under the belief that they are good enough. Since birth we’ve been fed ideas that we are perfect just the way we are. Doesn’t matter if you’re skinny, fat, awkward, or have a bad temper; it’s just your personality, and you can’t just change that...
www.girlschase.com
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Missed this.
I meet women these days through social circles, friends of friends, and activities. Networking events with alcohol are great, especially if they have people who are just passing through a city. Most of the times it ends up being a girl I fuck a lot, if she is not tied to commitment then she'll be okay with her friends fucking me. The downside is that it limits quantity a good deal compared to a guy who is sarging every week.
I do nightgame but that isn't as realistic anymore with everything closing down. I'll share more of my past on a thread I am about to post on which you actually replied to but my best was in my college days. I'd see women I liked out at bars, they knew from class and the campus, and from there I would make my move.
Online game works well for me too but is shit these days unless you pay money for it.
I do just about everything but cold approaching women in the day.
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This is the heart of the manner. What is needed for what exactly?
Because what you need to SNL a girl differs from what you need to LTR a girl.
For LTRs to work out in the long run you'll need money, cool friends, and do "fun things" (have hobbies besides pickup).
For consistent SNLs (not once in a blue moon), you'll need to look good (workout/dress well = fundamentals. Face (includes skin/hair), height, intelligence = genetics), and have game.
SNLs? no. LTR? yes.
exceptions prove the rule.
After graduating from college, they transition into their careers. Their friends are made up of the ones they made in college, roommates, and at work. Being in debt doesn't factor into this.
you do if you want to roll in high status circles. can you bring them girls, host afterparties, get them in exclusive clubs/restaurants, drugs? nobody wants a leech.
Bro! I already told you in another post this is not true.... ok... I thought you got it now you are reverting... I am trying not use the kj flag... Take a look at sample of how i lay a bunch of women:
How to fuck women if you are poor, live at home, have a wife or a live in girlfriend or any excuse (the paranoia routine) Forbidden seduction series - The Skills Method
Dark/Forbidden seduction is a series of advance and borderline morally questionable topics, such as seducing a married women, the October man sequence, swinger club game,pimp game,my how to get a girlfriend and never … Continue Reading →
www.theskillsmethod.com
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you mean this one?
Conflicting information about broke ass guys who are 30s/40s etc
in the CONTEXT OF BROKE, no women, i used the example of guys that look rich and were broke, to make the point on what is the definition of being broke They are broke, but its "not a problem for getting women" (that's what sub is asking) because they are celebrities. Attractive girls will...
www.skilledseducer.com
you mean this one?
Conflicting information about broke ass guys who are 30s/40s etc
in the CONTEXT OF BROKE, no women, i used the example of guys that look rich and were broke, to make the point on what is the definition of being broke They are broke, but its "not a problem for getting women" (that's what sub is asking) because they are celebrities. Attractive girls will...
Bro! read your last entry here! then go back and you are talking about "DEADBEATS", you either get lazy with your writing or are confused when you write and post misleading stuff, what you said there after i challenge and what you just is just said it is no the same.... I mean even razor jack who did not participate and or never read that post were challenge you (by the way razor jack got money) just gave a lot of samples of dudes he knows with hot wives that are broke, again here is what you are saying:
"For ltrs to work out in the long run you'll need money, cool friends, and do "fun things"
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Man, game aside, people been feisty as fuck lately. I was walking to get some groceries today and bump into a guy by accident, he wanted to fight me on the spot. Social distancing makin people neurotic up in here!
he wanted to fight you because you were careless and did not practice social distancing, is not rocket science i would have done the same, that one is on you
The money/job thing isn't that relevant in my experience if you're just looking to get laid. They don't seem to care (but it is usually important if you're looking to get a girlfriend)
If you're just looking to get laid which most of us are, it's all about the fundamentals. Basically your looks. At that point, you have more girls who are attracted to you.
If a girl is attracted to you, you tend to need very minimal game (read aaron sleazy's minimal game lol). Have the balls to escalate. Don't be super weird or super boring. Job done.
And if she ISN'T attracted to you, no amount of game is gonna do a damn thing lol.
If you're just looking to get laid which most of us are, it's all about the fundamentals. Basically your looks. At that point, you have more girls who are attracted to you.
If a girl is attracted to you, you tend to need very minimal game (read aaron sleazy's minimal game lol). Have the balls to escalate. Don't be super weird or super boring. Job done.
And if she ISN'T attracted to you, no amount of game is gonna do a damn thing lol.