LR--  2 Hour+ LMR with hot social circle chick (apparently virgin?)

Kaida

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 6, 2020
Messages
546
Location:
Started at movies. Bounced to a formal event I was required to go to and then to her place.


My appearance:
6’0, Muscular darkskin
All black cotton v neck longsleeve. slightly form fitting.
Silver chain with golden cross pendant
Black jeans and shoes.

Her appearance:
5’6, petite brownskin. very cute babyface.
Nice plump booty. Sexy lordotic posture.
Pink floral croptop jacket - (unzipped to show cleavage)
Black bra under jacket
Short black high waisted tights
Black boots


-----------------------------------------------------------

MOVIE

First thing I noticed when I saw her was how sexy she was dressed. Had her makeup done and everything. This boosted my confidence because I could tell she wanted something to happen. She also bought a lyft there - initial compliance.

I bought both of our tickets nonchalantly and we both entered. Talked in the the theater for about an hour before the movie. My main focus was building tension, using pauses, and leading the conversation. I built lots of compliance, lots of physicality. Set discretion frames, nonjudgemental frames. Acted bored at times when she was talking irrelevant stuff. Didn’t build much connection though - didn’t seem like she needed it.

I kept trying to make the vibe more seductive by slowing my speech and speaking softer. She kept keeping the vibe “up” with high speech and fast talking. Almost seemed intentional. I also made a few semi-major mistakes that she didnt react much too. (I tried taking her to the bathroom and she just looked at me weird so I dropped it quickly) She was compliant otherwise though.

Once the movie started we cuddled and watched it. My hand on her ass and her head in my chest. At one point I gave her a small peck in the lips just to get past the kiss barrier.

Everything felt like it was going well. Then my parents called me about something that seemed like it would mess everything up:
Me: (Looking at texts) Wow. My Dad is saying I have to be at this formal event at 7:30. He’s being strict about it too.

Her: What time is it now?

Me: 7:07.

Her: Wow we can’t finish the movie?

Me: Looks like we cant.

My parents were bugging me to attend this formal-ish event that was starting soon, so we had to leave the movies early. But this girl was incredibly cute (and took 3+ attempts to get out!) so I didn’t want to end it:

Me: How about you come with me?

Her: Isn’t it formal? I’ll be embarrassed with what I’m wearing.

Me: It’s fine. We’ll sit upstairs so nobody can see. Come on

Her: Okay


So I suggested she joined me to the event. She agreed happily and I drove her there.



EVENT

To my suprise, she waited at the boring event with me for over an hour without complaining, which I take as a sign of interest. Towards the end she started to get quite worried tho:

Her: My phone is at 5%!! Do you have a charger?

Me: No I don’t. Why do you need it?

Her: I need to call a lyft to get back

Me: Your phone may die in the lyft, and I’m not going to leave you like that. Here, I’ll take you home

Her: Okay

So, after the formal event I took her home. I needed an excuse to come in. Fortunately a good one presented itself:

Me: My phone is at 8% now (Truth) Dang. I need the GPS too because my house is 30 mins away.

Her: Okay, wait out here & let me charge it inside

Me: But waiting out here for that long is crazy. Your parents are going to trip if they see me?

Her: Of course they will lol

Me: How about I come in from the back?

Her: Uhhh You sure. You know I have cameras right. I’ve never done that before. What if they hear you?

Me: Girl, look at me. I’m literally a ninja. Don’t you see the black I’m wearing?

Her: (Laughs) Okayyyy. Ummm okay come with me

Got in. Her house was a one story with her bedroom literally right next to her parents. I had to literally hold my breath as I walked by.

But as soon as I got in, it was on.

ESCALATION

My first time ever dealing with LMR. The other time I’ve had sex that gitl didn’t put up any resistance.

As soon as I started escalating her insecurities were coming out and I had to calm them.
Slow, Seductive Vibe

Me: (Goes in for kiss)

Her: (Submits for a little bit, and then shyly stops)

Me: You good?

Her: I’m a bad kisser

Me: Why do you think that

Her: I just am

Me: No you’re not

I go in for a kiss again and she submits fully this time, although her kissing was stiff.

After a few seconds I broke it off and said “See? I love your kissing” and resumed. That worked and she relaxed.


After a bit I told her to take off her jacket. She complied.

She was still stiff, so I started grinding on her while making out. The grinding made her make these cute involuntary moans that really just made me more impatient. But I knew I had to be methodical.

Every time I put my hand or anything near her pussy she would take it away. So I knew I had to make her more comfortable

At this point she was doing minimal communication. Only doing head shakes and head nods. And speaking in a low shy tone.

It’s like she entered this submissive state where I could do whatever I wanted to her, just not touch her pussy or see her tits.


Me: I’m enjoying myself right now. We’re not going to do anything we both don’t want to do.

Her: *Nods*

Me: Is this okay? *Taking off her bra*

Her: *Shy Head Shake*

Me: *Backs Off*
Me: *Continues kissing*

Me: *Stops Slowly* You’re so sexy

Her: No I’m not

Me: I think you’re sexy

Her: No you don’t

Me: Why would I be here if I didn’t think so?

Her: *Silence*

Me: *Continues kissing and grinding*

Me: Is this okay? *Holding her bra again*

Her: *Nods yes*

After taking off her bra she would hold her hand over her tits at first. But after I made it more clear I wanted her by complimenting her body and just repeating how sexy she was, she took her hand away slowly and let me lick her nipples.

Mind you I’m hard as shit. Like a rock.

But I needed to stay focused and not rush this. She needed more comfort.

All I could think about was “pussy-centric escalation” and the clit-ladder @Chase made a post about. I was already grinding my clothed dick against her clothes clit.

I was trying to think of a way to get my hand down there smoothly so there was no time gap between her stimulation.

I kept asking her “is this okay?” intermittently after every few minutes of making out, gradually moving to the next step after every yes. She sometimes would shake her head no but eventually they became small yeses

But even touching the pussy was a no-go. She kept moving my hand every time it got there, even if I kept it smooth. After a while I could feel time going so I checked my phone.

9:40pm. Wayy too late.

Parents are gonna start trippin soon.

I was trying a bunch of different things at this point. I even tried to PYCO by putting her hands on my waistband and using her hands to pull my pants down. She hesitantly gave me a small handjob for a few seconds, but it didn’t seem to aid the escalation. So I went back to making out.

One step back, two steps forward.

After a while of experimenting, I stopped escalation entirely and had a mini conversation with her while laying on top of her.

Me: We don’t have to do anything you know.

Her: *Nods*

Me: Do you want me to leave?

Her: ….

Her: *Shakes head*

Me: Okay. Me neither.

Her: I havent done this before.

Me: Thats fine. I’m enjoying this. We don’t have to do anything else okay?

Her: Okay

Me: Is this okay? *Holding her pants*

Her: *Shakes head*

Me: How about this? *Touching pussy outside pants*

Her: …

Me: *Slowly starts rubbing*

Her: *Moaning with no resistance*

BINGO

But by the time I was rubbing her pussy outside the pants my Dad was blowing up my phone asking where I was. It was 10:23 and the event ended 8:30!!! Plus it was a 30 minute drive so I had to bail ASAP.

We both slowly walked out as to not disturb her parents. I framed it as if it was fine either way and I enjoyed myself. Didnt give no sign I “failed”.

I told her I enjoyed her and gave her a kiss goodbye we both smiled at each other before leaving.

This is the text I sent after

https://flic.kr/p/2oBkR9X The “babe” might have been too much but whatever

Can I still fuck later? Or is it dead because I didnt get it the first time. I’m almost 100% sure I would have gotten it if I just had more time man

Still a major W in my book - since I’m a big beginner - but dang. I read around a bit and apparently I just made my chances to fuck her incredibly low now due to backward rationalization. What do you guys think?
 
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Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
4,246
Location
South Florida
Location:
Started at movies. Bounced to a formal event I was required to go to and then to her place.


My appearance:
6’0, Muscular darkskin
All black cotton v neck longsleeve. slightly form fitting.
Silver chain with golden cross pendant
Black jeans and shoes.

Her appearance:
5’6, petite brownskin. very cute babyface.
Nice plump booty. Sexy lordotic posture.
Pink floral croptop jacket - (unzipped to show cleavage)
Black bra under jacket
Short black high waisted tights
Black boots


-----------------------------------------------------------

MOVIE

First thing I noticed when I saw her was how sexy she was dressed. Had her makeup done and everything. This boosted my confidence because I could tell she wanted something to happen. She also bought a lyft there - initial compliance.

I bought both of our tickets nonchalantly and we both entered. Talked in the the theater for about an hour before the movie. My main focus was building tension, using pauses, and leading the conversation. I built lots of compliance, lots of physicality. Set discretion frames, nonjudgemental frames. Acted bored at times when she was talking irrelevant stuff. Didn’t build much connection though - didn’t seem like she needed it.

I kept trying to make the vibe more seductive by slowing my speech and speaking softer. She kept keeping the vibe “up” with high speech and fast talking. Almost seemed intentional. I also made a few semi-major mistakes that she didnt react much too. (I tried taking her to the bathroom and she just looked at me weird so I dropped it quickly) She was compliant otherwise though.

Once the movie started we cuddled and watched it. My hand on her ass and her head in my chest. At one point I gave her a small peck in the lips just to get past the kiss barrier.

Everything felt like it was going well. Then my parents called me about something that seemed like it would mess everything up:
Me: (Looking at texts) Wow. My Dad is saying I have to be at this formal event at 7:30. He’s being strict about it too.

Her: What time is it now?

Me: 7:07.

Her: Wow we can’t finish the movie?

Me: Looks like we cant.

My parents were bugging me to attend this formal-ish event that was starting soon, so we had to leave the movies early. But this girl was incredibly cute (and took 3+ attempts to get out!) so I didn’t want to end it:

Me: How about you come with me?

Her: Isn’t it formal? I’ll be embarrassed with what I’m wearing.

Me: It’s fine. We’ll sit upstairs so nobody can see. Come on

Her: Okay


So I suggested she joined me to the event. She agreed happily and I drove her there.



EVENT

To my suprise, she waited at the boring event with me for over an hour without complaining, which I take as a sign of interest. Towards the end she started to get quite worried tho:

Her: My phone is at 5%!! Do you have a charger?

Me: No I don’t. Why do you need it?

Her: I need to call a lyft to get back

Me: Your phone may die in the lyft, and I’m not going to leave you like that. Here, I’ll take you home

Her: Okay

So, after the formal event I took her home. I needed an excuse to come in. Fortunately a good one presented itself:

Me: My phone is at 8% now (Truth) Dang. I need the GPS too because my house is 30 mins away.

Her: Okay, wait out here & let me charge it inside

Me: But waiting out here for that long is crazy. Your parents are going to trip if they see me?

Her: Of course they will lol

Me: How about I come in from the back?

Her: Uhhh You sure. You know I have cameras right. I’ve never done that before. What if they hear you?

Me: Girl, look at me. I’m literally a ninja. Don’t you see the black I’m wearing?

Her: (Laughs) Okayyyy. Ummm okay come with me

Got in. Her house was a one story with her bedroom literally right next to her parents. I had to literally hold my breath as I walked by.

But as soon as I got in, it was on.

ESCALATION

My first time ever dealing with LMR. The other time I’ve had sex she didn’t put up any resistance.

As soon as I started escalating her insecurities were coming out and I had to calm them.
Slow, Seductive Vibe

Me: (Goes in for kiss)

Her: (Submits for a little bit, and then shyly stops)

Me: You good?

Her: I’m a bad kisser

Me: Why do you think that

Her: I just am

Me: No you’re not

I go in for a kiss again and she submits fully this time, although her kissing was stiff.

After a few seconds I broke it off and said “See? I love your kissing” and resumed. That worked and she relaxed.


After a bit I told her to take off her jacket. She complied.

She was still stiff, so I started grinding on her while making out. The grinding made her make these cute involuntary moans that really just made me more impatient. But I knew I had to be methodical.

Every time I put my hand or anything near her pussy she would take it away. So I knew I had to make her more comfortable

At this point she was doing minimal communication. Only doing head shakes and head nods. And speaking in a low shy tone.

It’s like she entered this submissive state where I could do whatever I wanted to her, just not touch her pussy or see her tits.


Me: I’m enjoying myself right now. We’re not going to do anything we both don’t want to do.

Her: *Nods*

Me: Is this okay? *Taking off her bra*

Her: *Shy Head Shake*

Me: *Backs Off*
Me: *Continues kissing*

Me: *Stops Slowly* You’re so sexy

Her: No I’m not

Me: I think you’re sexy

Her: No you don’t

Me: Why would I be here if I didn’t think so?

Her: Silence

Me: *Continues kissing and grinding*

Me: Is this okay? *Holding her bra again*

Her: *Nods yes*

After taking off her bra she would hold her hand over her tits at first. But after I made it more clear I wanted her by complimenting her body and just repeating how sexy she was, she took her hand away slowly and let me lick her nipples.

Mind you I’m hard as shit. Like a rock.

But I needed to stay focused and not rush this. She needed more comfort.

All I could think about was “pussy-centric escalation” and the clit-ladder @Chase made a post about. I was already grinding my clothed dick against her clothes clit.

I was trying to think of a way to get my hand down there smoothly so there was no time gap between her stimulation.

I kept asking her “is this okay?” intermittently after every few minutes of making out, gradually moving to the next step after every yes. She sometimes would shake her head no but eventually they became small yeses

But even touching the pussy was a no-go. She kept moving my hand every time it got there, even if I kept it smooth. After a while I could feel time going so I checked my phone.

9:40pm. Wayy too late.

Parents are gonna start trippin soon.

I was trying a bunch of different things at this point. I even tried to PYCO by putting her hands on my waistband and using her hands to pull my pants down. She hesitantly gave me a small handjob for a few seconds, but it didn’t seem to aid the escalation. So I went back to making out.

One step back, two steps forward.

After a while of experimenting, I stopped escalation entirely and had a mini conversation with her while laying on top of her.

Me: We don’t have to do anything you know.

Her: *Nods*

Me: Do you want me to leave?

Her: ….

Her: *Shakes head*

Me: Okay. Me neither.

Her: I havent done this before.

Me: Thats fine. I’m enjoying this. We don’t have to do anything else okay?

Her: Okay

Me: Is this okay? *Holding her pants*

Her: *Shakes head*

Me: How about this? *Touching pussy outside pants*

Her: …

Me: *Slowly starts rubbing*

Her: *Moaning with no resistance*

BINGO

But by the time I was rubbing her pussy outside the pants my Dad was blowing up my phone asking where I was. It was 10:23 and the event ended 8:30!!! Plus it was a 30 minute drive so I had to bail ASAP.

We both slowly walked out as to not disturb her parents. I framed it as if it was fine either way. I told her I enjoyed her and gave her a kiss goodbye we both smiled at each other before leaving.

This is the text I sent after

https://flic.kr/p/2oBkR9X The “babe” might have been too much but whatever

Can I still fuck later? Or is it dead because I didnt get it the first time. I’m almost 100% sure I would have gotten it if I just had more time man

Still a major W in my book - since I’m a big beginner - but dang. I read around a bit and apparently I just made my chances to fuck her incredibly low now due to backward rationalization. What do you guys think?
Not bad, the only nitpick is i did not like the second "is this ok" but i understand with inexperience girl tbh you may have laid the girl if your parents did not cockblock so much breaking the bubbles plural... i like the that was hot text good job ... another nitpick is the pycho execution i would have pull it out and jerk off while sucking breast, but you did good, you may get the lay next time just block your parents for next date on your phone :cool: ...
 
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Kaida

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 6, 2020
Messages
546
i like the that was hot text good job ... another nitpick is the pycho execution i would have pull it out and jerk off while sucking breast,
Thank you man

Great notes. I had a feeling I was doing it wrong…

Is the goal of pyco to turn her on or make her comfortable? Maybe that will help me improve how and when I use it

but you did good, you may get the lay next time just block your parents for next date on your phone :cool: ...

Hell yeah. I also need to find an earlier time so I have a minimal chance of them tripping😅

Thanks skills!
 

Will_V

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
1,556
Very well done on taking the opportunities, escalating early, and getting the green light to join her at home.

The main issue here from what I see was your lack of experience showing through. You made her feel comfortable by being attentive, but went way too far with all that 'is that ok?' stuff until she just became very hesitant and didn't know what to do. I think if you had been more dominant and leading the pyco would have worked better, but since she was not feeling any momentum or forward pressure, it just stalled.

Another thing is that when you deal with a situation like LMR that takes concentration, it's easy to get so hyper focused on how to get past it that everything you think, speak and act is related to it, and ends up making her feel weird. You gotta bring your own and then her attention to other things, make some jokes and random comments, reduce the tension until she's a bit more comfortable, and then move forward slowly. Because the more she sees your attention fixated on her bra or pussy or whatever, the more she feels the need to protect it and slow things down.

You probably would have got the lay though if it hadn't been for your phone going off. I ALWAYS have phone on silent as soon as the date starts, the problem is a) with all the social media people are wired to get anxious about any kind of notification and it will immediately grab all her attention and potentially ruin an escalation and b) if you don't answer she thinks you're ignoring your friends because you're desperate for the lay, and might get uncomfortable and shit test you about it. And in this case c) your parents blowing up the phone will just make you uncomfortable and unconcentrated.

You gotta commit in these things and get rid of all distractions. You can deal with the fallout when you're finished with her.

PS the 'babe' at the end was definitely a faux pas. She's not given you what you want, so the last thing you want is her to think you're promoting her to your girlfriend. She still has work to do.
 
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Kaida

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 6, 2020
Messages
546
Very well done on taking the opportunities, escalating early, and getting the green light to join her at home.

Thank you bro 🤝🏾

The main issue here from what I see was your lack of experience showing through. You made her feel comfortable by being attentive, but went way too far with all that 'is that ok?' stuff until she just became very hesitant and didn't know what to do. I think if you had been more dominant and leading the pyco would have worked better, but since she was not feeling any momentum or forward pressure, it just stalled.

Exactly man.

I was thinking too hard about FRAS if we eventually get together. I wanted to stamp it clear in her mind that she consciously allowed it so she cant rationalize that I raped her or some shit.

I probably shouldnt be thinking about that before the fact though huh

Another thing is that when you deal with a situation like LMR that takes concentration, it's easy to get so hyper focused on how to get past it that everything you think, speak and act is related to it, and ends up making her feel weird. You gotta bring your own and then her attention to other things, make some jokes and random comments, reduce the tension until she's a bit more comfortable, and then move forward slowly. Because the more she sees your attention fixated on her bra or pussy or whatever, the more she feels the need to protect it and slow things down.

The LR- wasnt incredibly detailed, I did some of that - not conciously tho. Thats a good thing for me to keep in mind tho especially if theres a next time.

You probably would have got the lay though if it hadn't been for your phone going off. I ALWAYS have phone on silent as soon as the date starts, the problem is a) with all the social media people are wired to get anxious about any kind of notification and it will immediately grab all her attention and potentially ruin an escalation and b) if you don't answer she thinks you're ignoring your friends because you're desperate for the lay, and might get uncomfortable and shit test you about it. And in this case c) your parents blowing up the phone will just make you uncomfortable and unconcentrated.

Should have done that bro.

It wasn’t even that the phone made noise. It was silent and she didn’t even see it.

I was supposed to be home an hour+ ago amd my parents knew I was taking a girl home because she didnt have a car. My parents are devout christian “virgin till marriage” types, so they’d blow up if they suspected something.

In the moment my resolve wasn’t strong. I was thinking of all the consequences and bailed voluntarily, telling her my parents were tripping.

I made it clear I enjoyed my stay anyway. And I did my best to frame it like I didn’t “fail” or anything.


You gotta commit in these things and get rid of all distractions. You can deal with the fallout when you're finished with her.

I probably would have gotten chewed out or grounded if I stayed any longer, but now I’m thinking it would have been worth it anyway if I eventually got it.

At least I know now & my resolve will be stronger next time.

PS the 'babe' at the end was definitely a faux pas. She's not given you what you want, so the last thing you want is her to think you're promoting her to your girlfriend. She still has work to do.

Damn 🤦🏾‍♂️

I knew it as soon as I sent it. I was going for a flirty ish text but I quickly realized the connotation of ‘babe’ was too boyfriendy. ‘Girl’ would have worked better. Wasnt trying to promote her

Shes really cute & I think I left the frame in a decent place. Do you think I could still get her out again? Or did backward rationalization fuck it up
 
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StrayDog

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Feb 23, 2022
Messages
666
Since you are finding your footing and gaining experience, I think a movie date works perfectly fine simply because it is an opportunity to practice. That said, movie dates are generally ill-advised for a number of reasons. Less opportunity to build rapport and momentum, limited escalation potential (I mean maybe you can pull something epic off but there is a lot working against you), and inflexible in terms of timing. Also tends to come with a sort of "boyfriend" connotation. Because of this I highly implore you to consider other first-date ideas in the future.

Just a reminder of my car escalation routine, as I think it could be very helpful given your living situation and what not.
First thing I noticed when I saw her was how sexy she was dressed. Had her makeup done and everything. This boosted my confidence because I could tell she wanted something to happen. She also bought a lyft there - initial compliance.

I bought both of our tickets nonchalantly and we both entered. Talked in the the theater for about an hour before the movie.
See, on a 3-bounce date this is when you would movie the date. You had an opportunity to build some rapport and momentum, but where can you really go from here? The movie is about to start, which doesn't leave a lot of flexibility if the moment calls for it.
I also made a few semi-major mistakes that she didnt react much too. (I tried taking her to the bathroom and she just looked at me weird so I dropped it quickly) She was compliant otherwise though.
See, you actually intuitively sensed this and attempted to make a pull to another location, the bathroom. You on some level knew the interaction need to move.
I am assuming you were trying to get her to go to the bathroom so you could escalate, if that is the case that was waaaayy too soon in the interaction. You had some momentum going but things were not there yet. Besides, she is a virgin and your chances of landing a bathroom lay with this girl were slim. Just look at how much comfort issues you dealt with in her own bed, now imagine that in a public restroom. That said Good job smoothing out your foible. Remember to pace yourself.

Also just want to say kudos on making bold moves, regardless if it was miss-timed and miss-calibrated. Better to learn by being too bold, than to always toe the line but never make moves.
Once the movie started we cuddled and watched it. My hand on her ass and her head in my chest. At one point I gave her a small peck in the lips just to get past the kiss barrier.
Again, way to just go in and use touch. Your willingness to go there will be an asset of yours, to be certain. Calibration, and touching with intention will help you dial it all in.
Everything felt like it was going well. Then my parents called me about something that seemed like it would mess everything up:
Me: (Looking at texts) Wow. My Dad is saying I have to be at this formal event at 7:30. He’s being strict about it too.

Her: What time is it now?

Me: 7:07.

Her: Wow we can’t finish the movie?

Me: Looks like we cant.

My parents were bugging me to attend this formal-ish event that was starting soon, so we had to leave the movies early. But this girl was incredibly cute (and took 3+ attempts to get out!) so I didn’t want to end it:

Me: How about you come with me?

Her: Isn’t it formal? I’ll be embarrassed with what I’m wearing.

Me: It’s fine. We’ll sit upstairs so nobody can see. Come on

Her: Okay


So I suggested she joined me to the event. She agreed happily and I drove her there.
Okay, first off, way to roll with the punches, and just get her to go with you.

The funny thing is, this unexpected turn actually turned the whole date into a 3-bounce date. Which actually may have helped lead things right where they needed to go.

EVENT

To my suprise, she waited at the boring event with me for over an hour without complaining, which I take as a sign of interest. Towards the end she started to get quite worried tho:

Her: My phone is at 5%!! Do you have a charger?

Me: No I don’t. Why do you need it?

Her: I need to call a lyft to get back

Me: Your phone may die in the lyft, and I’m not going to leave you like that. Here, I’ll take you home

Her: Okay
Way to improv and use what she throws at you as a means of moving things forward
Me: Girl, look at me. I’m literally a ninja. Don’t you see the black I’m wearing?
You are a ninja bro
Got in. Her house was a one story with her bedroom literally right next to her parents. I had to literally hold my breath as I walked by.

But as soon as I got in, it was on.

ESCALATION

My first time ever dealing with LMR. The other time I’ve had sex that gitl didn’t put up any resistance.

As soon as I started escalating her insecurities were coming out and I had to calm them.
Slow, Seductive Vibe

Me: (Goes in for kiss)

Her: (Submits for a little bit, and then shyly stops)

Me: You good?

Her: I’m a bad kisser

Me: Why do you think that

Her: I just am

Me: No you’re not

I go in for a kiss again and she submits fully this time, although her kissing was stiff.

After a few seconds I broke it off and said “See? I love your kissing” and resumed. That worked and she relaxed.


After a bit I told her to take off her jacket. She complied.

She was still stiff, so I started grinding on her while making out. The grinding made her make these cute involuntary moans that really just made me more impatient. But I knew I had to be methodical.

Every time I put my hand or anything near her pussy she would take it away. So I knew I had to make her more comfortable

At this point she was doing minimal communication. Only doing head shakes and head nods. And speaking in a low shy tone.

It’s like she entered this submissive state where I could do whatever I wanted to her, just not touch her pussy or see her tits.


Me: I’m enjoying myself right now. We’re not going to do anything we both don’t want to do.

Her: *Nods*

Me: Is this okay? *Taking off her bra*

Her: *Shy Head Shake*

Me: *Backs Off*
Me: *Continues kissing*

Me: *Stops Slowly* You’re so sexy

Her: No I’m not

Me: I think you’re sexy

Her: No you don’t

Me: Why would I be here if I didn’t think so?

Her: *Silence*

Me: *Continues kissing and grinding*

Me: Is this okay? *Holding her bra again*

Her: *Nods yes*
Man, she is really feeling insecure here, poor girl. Might seem counterintuitive, but one method that can work in a situation like this where she is really having trouble trusting that you are into her is to call her out on it (albeit in an empathetic manner)

"Look Sarah, we have been having a fun time together tonight, and I need you to trust that I wouldn't be here with you if I didn't want to be. This is really cool exploring this moment with each other, but there isn't really room for exploration if you don't trust that I actually want to be here with you"

notice how I used a lot of we/us/each other type frames. Basically saying hey we are in this together, and I need you to trust that.

If she for some reason states that she is having trouble trusting it, you will now have more info about what is holding her back which you can use to help her feel more comfortable.
After taking off her bra she would hold her hand over her tits at first. But after I made it more clear I wanted her by complimenting her body and just repeating how sexy she was, she took her hand away slowly and let me lick her nipples.

Mind you I’m hard as shit. Like a rock.

But I needed to stay focused and not rush this. She needed more comfort.

All I could think about was “pussy-centric escalation” and the clit-ladder @Chase made a post about. I was already grinding my clothed dick against her clothes clit.

I was trying to think of a way to get my hand down there smoothly so there was no time gap between her stimulation.

I kept asking her “is this okay?” intermittently after every few minutes of making out, gradually moving to the next step after every yes. She sometimes would shake her head no but eventually they became small yeses

But even touching the pussy was a no-go. She kept moving my hand every time it got there, even if I kept it smooth. After a while I could feel time going so I checked my phone.
You are getting a bit ahead of yourself, kind of scrambling with a "how do I get to the pussy" sort of goal in mind. The thing is, without the right amount of comfort no amount of pussy-centric escalation is gonna seal the deal. I would have probably fractionated more. Alternating between stimulating conversation about sex, passionate bursts of physicality, and more neutral but still playful chit chat (not too much just a touch). This way you are building a sense of a connection while you are escalating. It is kind of a cycle you run through, and each time you escalate you ramp the energy up more and more. Maybe find a good opportunity to use some eye fucking.

Build tension, build connection, build tension, build connection, build tension, build tension, build tension, pussy centric escalation.
I was trying a bunch of different things at this point. I even tried to PYCO by putting her hands on my waistband and using her hands to pull my pants down. She hesitantly gave me a small handjob for a few seconds, but it didn’t seem to aid the escalation. So I went back to making out.
Another bold move, so kudos on taking the leap, it just wasn't the time for it. You are being single-minded when you need to be strategically flexible
One step back, two steps forward.

After a while of experimenting, I stopped escalation entirely and had a mini conversation with her while laying on top of her.
Ah see, there is something underlying the interaction that needs to be addressed
Me: We don’t have to do anything you know.

Her: *Nods*

Me: Do you want me to leave?

Her: ….

Her: *Shakes head*

Me: Okay. Me neither.

Her: I havent done this before.

Me: Thats fine. I’m enjoying this. We don’t have to do anything else okay?

This would have been a good moment to really offer substantial guidance to her. She is nervous because she has never had sex before. I get where you are coming from letting her know that there is no pressure, but there are ways to convey that same idea, without letting the steam out. That's what all of the constant checking in with her is doing.
I think it is worth noting that you probably feel the need to check in so much because you are not sure how much she wants it and you want to be able to trust her communication, that way you are not crossing some boundary you are unaware of.

One way to address this could have looked something like this:

Her: I haven't done this before
You: That's okay, I can understand if you're nervous (empathize/address the issue. She is nervous). What is really important is that we just enjoy exploring together and it really isn't about what does or doesn't happen. We just need to make sure that we communicate and we are sure that we are just present with each other. I am trusting that you will let me know what feels good and what doesn't, using your words or your body or communicating any way you feel you need to. How does that sound?

Bear in mind this whole time you are saying this you are escalating as well.

Instead of checking in again and again and again, you are giving her a clear picture of how you two can proceed and giving her the opportunity to express her needs herself.
Her: Okay

Me: Is this okay? *Holding her pants*

Her: *Shakes head*

Me: How about this? *Touching pussy outside pants*

Her: …

Me: *Slowly starts rubbing*

Her: *Moaning with no resistance*

BINGO

Was definitely turning a corner here
But by the time I was rubbing her pussy outside the pants my Dad was blowing up my phone asking where I was. It was 10:23 and the event ended 8:30!!! Plus it was a 30 minute drive so I had to bail ASAP.
Doh, it's like they had a sixth sense for it or something
We both slowly walked out as to not disturb her parents. I framed it as if it was fine either way and I enjoyed myself. Didnt give no sign I “failed”.
Perfect
This is the text I sent after

https://flic.kr/p/2oBkR9X The “babe” might have been too much but whatever

Can I still fuck later? Or is it dead because I didnt get it the first time. I’m almost 100% sure I would have gotten it if I just had more time man

Still a major W in my book - since I’m a big beginner - but dang. I read around a bit and apparently I just made my chances to fuck her incredibly low now due to backward rationalization. What do you guys think?
Only way of knowing is going for it again. I bet there is a good chance you get her out again. Might be dealing with a bit of a boyfriend frame now, though. Only one way to find out...
 

Chad Tyrone

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 21, 2021
Messages
224
oh boy great interaction...but you kept mucking it up with the "is this okay?" line.Ain't knocking you here .I mean you don't have to worry about FRAs that much.Just calibrate your moves/escalation to her "response". Is she pulling your arms away?Then back off and start it all over or move towards less erogenous zones and keep touching her while moving your hands around of course until she cant't take it anymore.OTOH,does she seem into it? then keep escalating while taking a step back...you want to keep teasing her but not long enough that she thinks you ain't gonna make it happen.Anyway here are some links to some articles that will help:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/when-does-no-actually-mean-no

Besides you shouldn't be asking for permission comes across weak ...but i hear you.

https://www.girlschase.com/article/female-mind/dont-ask-girls-permission-seduce-them-instead

Would recommend that you make things happen almost everytime.This prevents the girl from backward rationalizing and going cold on you.You may stand a chance here but with cold approaches it's usually dead.Personally i could have fucked her for a couple minutes to unlock that level with her ...it's smooth sailing next time.And what's the worst that could have happened...could have made something up and told my dad that i catched up with an old friend of mine and headed to his ...got late trying to charge my phone(reason for why you did🤷‍♀️)lol.He'll get over it .

Again here are some articles .Check them out.

https://www.girlschase.com/content/secrets-getting-girls-unlocking-levels-woman

https://www.girlschase.com/content/we-are-not-having-sex-tonight-what-happens-when-you-don-t

https://www.girlschase.com/content/girls-tomorrow-isnt-promised

Hope they help.

Chad Tyrone.
 

Kaida

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 6, 2020
Messages
546
Since you are finding your footing and gaining experience, I think a movie date works perfectly fine simply because it is an opportunity to practice. That said, movie dates are generally ill-advised for a number of reasons. Less opportunity to build rapport and momentum, limited escalation potential (I mean maybe you can pull something epic off but there is a lot working against you), and inflexible in terms of timing. Also tends to come with a sort of "boyfriend" connotation. Because of this I highly implore you to consider other first-date ideas in the future.

Yes, I understand. This girl was being incredibly flakey with dates though (4+ times).
So this time I told her I’m not coming up with the plans and she has to do everything. She chose the movie, and I didn’t want to change it and increase the chance of flaking.

Thanks for the tips, I’ll try and avoid those in the future.

Just a reminder of my car escalation routine, as I think it could be very helpful given your living situation and what not.

Thats so good. Last time I tried to have sex in a car it was cramped and we couldn’t do it. Hopefully that routine can help

I think it is worth noting that you probably feel the need to check in so much because you are not sure how much she wants it and you want to be able to trust her communication, that way you are not crossing some boundary you are unaware of.

One way to address this could have looked something like this:

Her: I haven't done this before
You: That's okay, I can understand if you're nervous (empathize/address the issue. She is nervous). What is really important is that we just enjoy exploring together and it really isn't about what does or doesn't happen. We just need to make sure that we communicate and we are sure that we are just present with each other. I am trusting that you will let me know what feels good and what doesn't, using your words or your body or communicating any way you feel you need to. How does that sound?

Bear in mind this whole time you are saying this you are escalating as well.

Instead of checking in again and again and again, you are giving her a clear picture of how you two can proceed and giving her the opportunity to express her needs herself.

Much better way of putting it. I definitely was checking in too much. She was eventually giving me yeses so that reinforced my bad behavior.

Damn
Doh, it's like they had a sixth sense for it or something

Exactly bro.

At this point I’m so pissed at myself. I’ve been thinking about this moment so much.

I shouldve just said fuck it and came back midnight. Would have been worth it man 🤦🏾‍♂️

Only way of knowing is going for it again. I bet there is a good chance you get her out again. Might be dealing with a bit of a boyfriend frame now, though. Only one way to find out...

I’m actually going to be leaving soon, so I’m betting that will remove her boyfriend walls.

This reply was very informative and gave me a lot to chew on straydog. I’ll definitely use this stuff next time 👍🏾
 

StrayDog

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Feb 23, 2022
Messages
666
Yes, I understand. This girl was being incredibly flakey with dates though (4+ times).
So this time I told her I’m not coming up with the plans and she has to do everything. She chose the movie, and I didn’t want to change it and increase the chance of flaking.
I see. Not the best precedent but you were able to take the short term L (letting her take the lead, even if it is not the best date idea) for the sake of the bigger picture (actually getting her out, and moving things towards sex). @Skills have talked about the importance of this before, and a lot of guys get hung up on always needing to "win." So, way to be flexible and use it to your advantage.
Thats so good. Last time I tried to have sex in a car it was cramped and we couldn’t do it. Hopefully that routine can help
I am a reasonably tall dude and have had tons of sex in relatively small cars. If I can do it, so can you. You just have to find a good flow and make the most of the limited space.
Much better way of putting it. I definitely was checking in too much. She was eventually giving me yeses so that reinforced my bad behavior.
Notice how my example does two things, frames the interaction as "we" and also takes the lead. You are essentially letting her know what YOU need from her in order to move forward (she needs to be communicative). You are just doing it in a smooth way that helps her see that you are in it together. I have had a good number of women totally drop their guard after saying something like this and just be ready to go. Especially when the issue is comfort.

Here is something to think about. If you are for some reason feeling uncomfortable yourself, trust your gut. Maybe there is something you need that isn't quite landing. So check in with yourself if you feel something is missing. I personally don't like when I feel like a woman isn't very communicative, or she is too passive. I will let her know this. That I need her to engage a little more. It is as much about her feeling comfortable as it is about me feeling comfortable.
I’m actually going to be leaving soon, so I’m betting that will remove her boyfriend walls.
Well, maybe. But she could also be thinking "he seems really great but he is leaving soon" (in a boyfriend frame sense). Also, if she does see it as maybe just a fling now she kind of just knows what is on the table. So she is kind of in a position of "do I or don't I," which will probably come with a bit of asd (unless she is just dtf).
This reply was very informative and gave me a lot to chew on straydog. I’ll definitely use this stuff next time 👍🏾
My pleasure Kaida, appreciate you entertaining my perspectives. I am still ironing out a bunch of nuances in my game myself, so offering feedback helps me grow as well.
 
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