4 Approaches/Day (30 Day Challenge)

[AspiringStoic]

I need to get my priorities in order. The most basic thing that I need to do in order to get good at cold approach, is to GO OUT and PRACTICE this. Without that nothing else can happen. This ability to take "right action" and exercising willpower and making approaching a priority is the thing I intend to develop with this 30 day challenge.

I live in a big city, so as soon as I step out there are women all around me. Finding 4 girls to approach is never a problem. If its raining or cold I can go to malls, the underground etc.

From anywhere between 8 am to 11pm, I can do my approaching. So barring any extra ordinary scenario, apart from my own laziness and lack of discipline there is nothing that can stop me from approaching 4 girls every day for the next 30 days.

Instead of making a long list of the many things I could work on in this challenge, I am going to keep it simple. The only thing I am going to be focusing on in this challenge, is to just DO THE DAMN challenge without any excuses.

So the only goal is:
- Go out and approach 4 girls everyday

Everythig else is a bonus.

 

[AspiringStoic]

Day 1 (10 November, 2024)

Okay. So off the mark with the first day. Had to go out of town to visit some people. But did not want to put off the approaching till the evening.

Today, just focusing on the basics. Going out and opening 4 girls. Trying to keep a positive vibe.

Mindset: I am a social guy. I speak to people (women). I am a positive guy, so when I see something I like, I just go over and say it.

Approach 1
On the tram stop. Open with a compliment on her coat. Then a cold read of her nationality. Some chit chat and then tram arrives. Good warm up.

Approach 2
On another tram stop. Cute girl with dog. Open with a compliment, telling her she looks very stylish with her nose ring. She reacts well. We have a 2-3 minute convo. I am still stifled. So no teasing etc. Its just flat. But since she is happy to talk, I go for the close but she declines.

Approach 3
Tram stop. Open with a compliment on her scarf. She reacts well. I work in a tease that she reminds me of a friend who did MMA and was a badass and I felt maybe she is like that too. It does not really land. But she is happy to talk. Tram arrives and I eject. In hindsight, should have got on, spoken some more and attempted a close.

I guess I am rusty. Lets see how I am 10+ days into this challenge. This should change.

Approach 4
Walking set. Stylish Asian. Tap her on the shoulder from the side and stop her in a bold way. Deliver my direct opener. She is stunned but in a good way. She is Chinese. But she is running to catch the bus to get to work, so I let her go.

So that was it for today. Good solid start. Wanted to start the challenge on Monday but thought what the hell, why not today? Feel great for doing so. Looking forward to tomorrow.

 

[AspiringStoic]

Day 2 (11 November, 2024)

Took some time out in the middle of the day and went out. Now that I am doing this challenge, it forces me to prioritize approaching rather than treat it as an after thought that needs to be squeezed in during some part of the day.

Approach 1
Tram stop. Black girl. Open with a compliment, she responds well but does not seem intent to continue the conversation. But I just carry on with a cold read and then some banter about University life as she is a student. She warms up a bit and asks me a couple of questions. I see the tram arriving in my peripheral vision and its packed. It would be hard to carry on the convo on the tram so I just throw a hail mary and go for the close. She declines with some excuse about having a packed schedule and I wish her a good day and exit.

Approach 2
Another stationary set. Open with a compliment. She loves it and we start talking. A minute in I find out she is in high school. I banter some more and then leave it at that and exit the convo with her beaming.

Approach 3
Walking set. I stop her and deliver my direct opener. She is a bit taken aback and it gets a little awkward. I do a cold read about her being into yoga as she is wearing a certain kind of cap with some esoteric symbol on it. She says kind of but she does not go to yoga classes and then she starts walking off so I let it go.

Approach 4
Really stylish girl taking a cigarette break outside. I open with telling her she looks great and then cold read her nationality. I attempt to continue but she is giving me very short responses. So instead of just ejecting, I go for the number as at least I would get some more practice being able to take rejections. She tells me she has a boyfriend and then I leave.

So still rusty. Don't feel like I am in flow. Weather is now quite cold outside and that also makes it an extra challenge. But just feel good for exercising my willpower, going out and doing the task without excuses. Looking forward to continue building momentum.

 

[AspiringStoic]

Day 3 (12 November, 2024)

Went out after work. Took a nap before it so that I am fresh and not tired and grumpy.

Approach 1
In a mall, see a cute blonde girl and go in and stop her and open direct. She receives me well and we settle into a convo. I build basic rapport and she is engaging eagerly. I forget to tease. But she asks me questions and we have a proper back and forth for 4-5 minutes. Then I pitch a date and she agrees enthusiastically and I get her contact. As she is typing in her contact, I compliment her nails and how I really like girls who do their nails. She appreciates it and we speak some more about that enthusiastically and then part ways.

Approach 2
Outside the mall, taller girl, walking. Open with a compliment on her coat, she thanks me. Proceed to do a cold read on her nationality and get it wrong. She corrects me and says she takes it as a compliment and starts walking away so I let her go and bid her adieu.

Approach 3
Train station. Open with a compliment. No English.

Approach 4
Another compliment open. She thanks me and the tram arrives and no further conversation ensues.

Today felt a lot better. But mainly I think it was because the first interaction went very well. But I see how this challenge is already having ripple effects on other parts of my life. I try to protect my mood and emotions by doing good things like taking a nap, reading positive stuff and eating healthy etc just so that I have more energy and I am in a better mood to do these approaches. Looking forward to Day 4.

 

[James D]

I'm a big fan of this challenge.

 

[AspiringStoic]

Day 4 (13 November, 2024)

Wow. Today was something else. So many things to learn from.

First of all, I was in a bad mood all day. The contact from yesterday did not even reply to my first text and I was feeling shitty as I thought it had been a solid interaction. On any other day, I would not have gone out at all and would have done something else to feel better rather than go out approaching again. But now since I have committed to this challenge, there was no pulling out and I got myself to go out and just do those 4 approaches to keep the challenge going.

Approach 1
Really attractive girl walking. I go in and stop her and deliver my direct opener. She is nice and we talk for a while and she even asks me a couple of questions. Then she tells me she has to go and I go for the number and she tells me she has a boyfriend.

Approach 2
Asian girl walking. Go in, stop her and deliver my opener. She does not understand me. Her English is very limited. Figure out she is Korean and from Seoul then tell her again that I find her attractive and she kind of understands but not really. So I just wish her a good evening and leave.

Approach 3
Just get a slight glimpse of this girl who walks past me. She seems cute so I just follow her, catch up to her and stop her and deliver my direct opener. She is a bit startled but I am calmer now and tell her I did not mean to scare her and then continue with a cold read and we settle into a conversation. I am way more free and in flow, so I tease her about her glasses as she is a researcher and works in a lab. The vibe is great and she is asking me questions. I find out that she met friends and is now out for a walk. So I tell her I am just on a walk too and that we can walk and talk. We do that for a few minutes and then I seed the instant date and ask her if she is up for a quick drink. And she agrees.

The Instant Date
I walk her to a nearby bar. Its a nice quite place with a chill vibe and spaced out tables for privacy. We each grab a drink and sit down and continue talking. I remind myself that I need to make a conscious effort to tease and also to focus on getting some touching in there.

Teasing: I tease her about her fighting skills as she used to do MMA. I throw in some light teases about her introverted nature and nerdy profession and a few other things. She always laughs and sometimes playfully defends herself.

Touching: She told me she played piano and I use this as an opportunity to see her hands and see if she has piano fingers, I touch her hands and compare her fingers etc and she is comfortable with that. She tells me she works out and I use that to tease and also check her biceps and she is again happy to be touched and even flexes for me to check her biceps. I also touch her on the shoulder etc a couple more times when I make a point or tease her.

Conversation: In terms of conversation I switch between light topics, teasing and asking about her ambitions and goals etc. I share mine as well. We talk about Berlin and I introduce some sexual topics here. Talking about the fetish parties and being open minded about sex and she tells me about her time in a bath in Asia where she was nude.

All in all the date lasted for around close to 2 hours. It was great fun. I was a bit too caught up in the moment. I could have sexualised more and escalated the touch more as well. I had these great routines and topics I used to do on dates that worked great but suddenly in the moment I forgot about many of them. But anyways at the end, I pitched another date and got her number and we parted ways with a hug.

Takeaways
This is really big, I think the main takeaways are not about the interaction itself but on a more macro- level.

- This is a game that involves a lot of randomness. You just don't know what can happen. So don't read too much into single interactions or ghosts or flakes. Today if I did not go out and approach I would have never had this great experience.

- Your whole mood and your entire fortunes may change with the next approach so just always stick to doing your approaches and don't listen to your brain and all its excuses.

- You never regret going out and opening regardless of how bad you feel beforehand.

- I feel like this can be viewed in a funnily religious way. You need to pay your dues and pray (do you approaches) to the pickup gods. They will test you and see if your faith wavers and you stop putting in the work. But ultimately if you are religiously doing your approaches and putting in the work, the rewards will come.

 

[Stark]

Momentum is building. Keep it going!

 

[AspiringStoic]

Day 5 (14 November, 2024)

A day of extremes. These past two days have given me a glimpse of why most guys never continue with pickup. So today I have been riding high the whole day due to the instant date I had yesterday. This was a stark distinction from yesterday where I was down the whole day due to the girl from the previous day not responding.

So I go out today in reasonably good spirits and I have no idea what is in store for me infield.

I go out after dark nowadays as its winter, so I head to a mall for today's approaches.

Approach 1
Sexy girl walking. I go over and stop her and I am delivering my opener and she cuts me off mid sentence and tells me she is going to be meet her friends and she has to go and just walks off.

I smile to myself. There is nothing like cold approach to keep you humble.

Approach 2
A milf walking. Stop her and I am starting to deliver my opener and she just says no English and walks off.

Wow two in a row. WTF is happening!?

Approach 3
Tall girl dressed quite elegantly walking. I catch up with her and open and she just ignores me. I wonder if she has earphones on and did not hear me. So I don't give up and try again and tap her on the shoulder to get her attention. She looks at me and just turns away and keeps walking.

3 in a row now and this was the worst of them all. But the blowouts only make me more determined.

Approach 4
Asian girl walking slowly. I catch up to her and open and she says no English and walks off too!!

LOL here I am after the high of the instant date yesterday and it seems like now girls are allergic to me. I have just had 4 blowouts within 20 minutes. Pheww!

But there is a silver lining. A year or 2 ago this would have destroyed me and I would have gone back home to lick my wounds after the first blowout or at max after the second. I would have deeply questioned the whole idea of cold approach, my very existence, my worth and value and the purpose of life.

But this time around I am still rattled but not on that level. I see it as funny and I know its just one of those days. I literally did the same thing yesterday and it lead to a date. So I just shrug my shoulders and go out of the mall. I take a deep breath and collect myself. Then I remember that yesterday I just did 3 approaches due to the instant date and I feel I can make up for it today by trying one more time.

Approach 5
Outside the mall I spot a really cute girl in pink waiting for public transport. I walk over and hover looking at my phone for a few seconds and then I go in and open with a compliment. She smiles and is responding politely. I am just glad that a girl is treating me as a human being finally. I just have the most basic conversation but manage to throw in 1 tease which spikes her emotion a bit. I cannot really read if she is being polite or interested so I decide to just go for the close. I pitch the date and amazingly she agrees and gives me her number. I then wish her a good evening and part ways.

Takeaways
WOW! That was a wild ride. From riding high to getting 4 blowouts to then having a conversation with a really cute girl and getting her number. I think today is the perfect example of why cold approach is so hard.

You don't go to the gym one day and dead lift 80 kilos and then go back the next time and find that you are not even able to lift 20 kilos.

The gym and other activities just do not test your mental and emotional strength the way cold approach does. This is an entirely different beast and doing it is going to develop mental and emotional resilience to an extent that most other activities would never demand.

 

[AspiringStoic]

Day 6 (15 November, 2024)

A day of great reactions. It seems like cold approach is trying to teach me a lesson on non attachment and acceptance of the uncertainity of life in general.

I finish work early and go out in the afternoon before sundown.

Approach 1
Hot girl walking. Stop her, deliver opener. She likes it. We talk for a while. But she has gotta go. I go for the close. She tells me she has a boyfriend but tells me she loves my approach and thanks me for approaching.

Approach 2
I don't really see her face. She is just dressed stylish and walking ahead of me, so I go in blind. Stop her, tell her she looks stylish. She is quite pretty. We have a convo. I am more grounded and relaxed. We vibe pretty well. She is a bartender and she tells me to come visit her bar sometime. I say nope. I would not visit her at work but I would love to take her out for a drink. She agrees and we exchange contacts.

Approach 3
Girl at bus stop with nose ring. Go in and compliment her and we start talking. From the beginning the convo is great. We speak for a good 3-4 minutes. She asks me questions and is happy to chat. I recognise this is either a girl that has a bf and is loving the attention or she is really up for it. So I go for the close but it turns out to be the former. And she seems so disappointed to turn my invitation down and gives me a spiel of how I approached was great and she loved it. Then we part ways.

Approach 4
I am in great spirits. Spot a really cute girl walking and catch up to her and stop her. Deliver my opener. She loves it. We have a solid convo for around 3-4 minutes and I go for the close and.... boyfriend! But again she is glad I approached and we part ways with a smile.

Takeaways
Still fully wrapping my head around the randomness of it all. Yesterday I got destroyed with 4 women ignoring me back to back and today I have 4 great interactions and I have multiple women thanking me for approaching them.

Also I realize Chase was spot on about the 4 approaches thing. Its a sweet spot. Its not like doing 1 approach per day which does not feel like you are prioritizing this and its not as overwhelming as doing 10 approaches. It feels like a mission so you prioritize this, it pushes your comfort zone but still doable despite the day to day variations in energy and time.

 

[AspiringStoic]

Day 17 (16 November, 2024)

Today was the toughest day so far in completing the 4 approaches in a sense. I had a late night yesterday and woke up with a headache. Then in the evening I had to go to meet my friends.

However, I was determined to do the 4 approaches and hence went out a little early before meeting my friends.

Approach 1
Bus stop. Open with a compliment. Convo is going well. She tells me she is moving the next day to a foreign country. I feel this is a deadend and I still need to open 3 more. So I eject wishing her good luck.

Approach 2
Tram stop. Really cute Asian. Open with a compliment. Her English is not great but she is responding well. Find out she is a tourist leaving the next day. I don't go for the close.

Approach 3
Cute girl with nose ring. Compliment opener, she thanks me but tram arrives and she gets on it.

Approach 4
Tram stop. Direct open. Cold read and I get into a convo. But its forced. She is not giving me much. Tram arrives and I let it go.

Takeaways
Today was all about just doing it and not skipping the approaches despite the circumstances.

Proud that I could do all 4 in around 20 minutes as I was on a time crunch.

In other news, texted instant date girl, built more rapport and setup a date for next week.

Writing this report late in the night before going to bed. This marks end of week 1 of the challenge.

 

[Chase]

@AspiringStoic,

Love this journal / seeing you take on the challenge!

Day 4 (13 November, 2024)

Wow. Today was something else. So many things to learn from.

First of all, I was in a bad mood all day. The contact from yesterday did not even reply to my first text and I was feeling shitty as I thought it had been a solid interaction. On any other day, I would not have gone out at all and would have done something else to feel better rather than go out approaching again. But now since I have committed to this challenge, there was no pulling out and I got myself to go out and just do those 4 approaches to keep the challenge going.

All in all the date lasted for around close to 2 hours. It was great fun. I was a bit too caught up in the moment. I could have sexualised more and escalated the touch more as well. I had these great routines and topics I used to do on dates that worked great but suddenly in the moment I forgot about many of them. But anyways at the end, I pitched another date and got her number and we parted ways with a hug.

Takeaways
This is really big, I think the main takeaways are not about the interaction itself but on a more macro- level.

- This is a game that involves a lot of randomness. You just don't know what can happen. So don't read too much into single interactions or ghosts or flakes. Today if I did not go out and approach I would have never had this great experience.

- Your whole mood and your entire fortunes may change with the next approach so just always stick to doing your approaches and don't listen to your brain and all its excuses.

- You never regret going out and opening regardless of how bad you feel beforehand.

- I feel like this can be viewed in a funnily religious way. You need to pay your dues and pray (do you approaches) to the pickup gods. They will test you and see if your faith wavers and you stop putting in the work. But ultimately if you are religiously doing your approaches and putting in the work, the rewards will come.

This was great.

Bad mood, low momentum, went out anyway, approached. Girl #3 turns into an instant date & it goes really well.

These kinds of outings (where you aren't feeling it at all but manage to pull off a solid number / instant date / lay regardless) are the best. Very important experiences to have! They teach you to be much more at ease with the random element of approaching.

Day 6 (15 November, 2024)

A day of great reactions. It seems like cold approach is trying to teach me a lesson on non attachment and acceptance of the uncertainity of life in general.

I finish work early and go out in the afternoon before sundown.

Approach 1
Hot girl walking. Stop her, deliver opener. She likes it. We talk for a while. But she has gotta go. I go for the close. She tells me she has a boyfriend but tells me she loves my approach and thanks me for approaching.

Approach 2
I don't really see her face. She is just dressed stylish and walking ahead of me, so I go in blind. Stop her, tell her she looks stylish. She is quite pretty. We have a convo. I am more grounded and relaxed. We vibe pretty well. She is a bartender and she tells me to come visit her bar sometime. I say nope. I would not visit her at work but I would love to take her out for a drink. She agrees and we exchange contacts.

Approach 3
Girl at bus stop with nose ring. Go in and compliment her and we start talking. From the beginning the convo is great. We speak for a good 3-4 minutes. She asks me questions and is happy to chat. I recognise this is either a girl that has a bf and is loving the attention or she is really up for it. So I go for the close but it turns out to be the former. And she seems so disappointed to turn my invitation down and gives me a spiel of how I approached was great and she loved it. Then we part ways.

Approach 4
I am in great spirits. Spot a really cute girl walking and catch up to her and stop her. Deliver my opener. She loves it. We have a solid convo for around 3-4 minutes and I go for the close and.... boyfriend! But again she is glad I approached and we part ways with a smile.

Takeaways
Still fully wrapping my head around the randomness of it all. Yesterday I got destroyed with 4 women ignoring me back to back and today I have 4 great interactions and I have multiple women thanking me for approaching them.

Also I realize Chase was spot on about the 4 approaches thing. Its a sweet spot. Its not like doing 1 approach per day which does not feel like you are prioritizing this and its not as overwhelming as doing 10 approaches. It feels like a mission so you prioritize this, it pushes your comfort zone but still doable despite the day to day variations in energy and time.

80% of girls are in relationships at any given time.

So you are going to have days like this where every girl you approach is taken.

Based on how well these girls are reacting to your approaches, you are nailing your approaching!

Day 17 (16 November, 2024)

Today was the toughest day so far in completing the 4 approaches in a sense. I had a late night yesterday and woke up with a headache. Then in the evening I had to go to meet my friends.

However, I was determined to do the 4 approaches and hence went out a little early before meeting my friends.

Approach 1
Bus stop. Open with a compliment. Convo is going well. She tells me she is moving the next day to a foreign country. I feel this is a deadend and I still need to open 3 more. So I eject wishing her good luck.

Approach 2
Tram stop. Really cute Asian. Open with a compliment. Her English is not great but she is responding well. Find out she is a tourist leaving the next day. I don't go for the close.

Did you screen these girls' logistics for potential "last day sex"?

Tactics Tuesdays: Screening Girls for Same Day Lays

This should be a fun one. Slightly advanced. Not too advanced. This should be fine for intermediates on up. So, this revolves around not boyfriend zoning yourself when screening girls for something quick. As you may know if you read this site regularly, it’s good and important to screen girls...

www.girlschase.com

Tactics Tuesdays: Have Her Tell You Her Logistics in 5 Minutes

I recently counseled one of our senior members from the discussion board on how to rapidly find out a woman’s logistics in the first few minutes of conversation. In this member’s case, he meets women as he goes about his day in the city, making street stops or chatting up girls in coffee shops...

www.girlschase.com

I don't want to distract you from the challenge and maybe that's too advanced for now.

But a certain % of girls on their last days/nights don't have plans and can be down for a quick fling with a sexy stranger if he keeps it moving fast and handles all the logistics well.

...

Anyway, you're looking awesome, man!

Keep it up!

Chase

 

[AspiringStoic]

Love this journal / seeing you take on the challenge!

Thank you so much for the encouragment and for writing that article where you posted about this challenge. Doing this challenge for 7 days I feel has taught me more or as much as the last 6 months of approaching.

They teach you to be much more at ease with the random element of approaching.

Yes, I have read your articles on the randomeness aspect and bookmarked them. But this still is one of the most challenging aspects to internalise I feel. Like you say in one of your articles, understanding probabalistic thinking intellectually is one thing, but understanding it on an EMOTIONAL level is something else. I feel that I am slowly getting there. This challenge is helping with that a lot. When I went in there on one of the days and got 4 blowouts and then next day got 4 amazing interactions that solidifed it a lot.

80% of girls are in relationships at any given time.

Wow this is something that I never had thought of deeply. I just read this now in one of your posts. This is quite liberating. The fact that you can talk to 10 girls and may meet only 2 girls who are actually single and available is something that I think is not emphasized enough. Like you say, this makes you see "rejection" in a completely different light. While also reiterating the importance of talking to lots of girls especially in a thing like daygame where there is total randomness and you can on a given day talk to 15 girls and all of them might be taken.

Based on how well these girls are reacting to your approaches, you are nailing your approaching!

Thanks a lot! These reactions are helping me become more assertive and is helping me solidfy the belief that I am not doing something weird or creepy. If even the girls who are taken are happy that I spoke to them, then I am adding value to people's lives by interacting with them and not taking anything from them.

Did you screen these girls' logistics for potential "last day sex"?

LOL nope. Yesterday I was just rushing through my approaches to then go meet up with my friends so I did not even think of this. But thanks for pointing this out, next time I run across a girl who is leaving I will keep this in mind and see if I can push for this.

Anyway, you're looking awesome, man!

Keep it up!

Thanks a lot for the inspiration. Makes me doubly motivated to keep at it and complete the full challenge. Have been lazing around today and telling myself I will approach later in the evening. But your reply has inspired me, I am going to go out now and get today's approaches done!

 

[superseducer]

Thank you so much for the encouragment and for writing that article where you posted about this challenge. Doing this challenge for 7 days I feel has taught me more or as much as the last 6 months of approaching.

Yes, I have read your articles on the randomeness aspect and bookmarked them. But this still is one of the most challenging aspects to internalise I feel. Like you say in one of your articles, understanding probabalistic thinking intellectually is one thing, but understanding it on an EMOTIONAL level is something else. I feel that I am slowly getting there. This challenge is helping with that a lot. When I went in there on one of the days and got 4 blowouts and then next day got 4 amazing interactions that solidifed it a lot.

Wow this is something that I never had thought of deeply. I just read this now in one of your posts. This is quite liberating. The fact that you can talk to 10 girls and may meet only 2 girls who are actually single and available is something that I think is not emphasized enough. Like you say, this makes you see "rejection" in a completely different light. While also reiterating the importance of talking to lots of girls especially in a thing like daygame where there is total randomness and you can on a given day talk to 15 girls and all of them might be taken.

Thanks a lot! These reactions are helping me become more assertive and is helping me solidfy the belief that I am not doing something weird or creepy. If even the girls who are taken are happy that I spoke to them, then I am adding value to people's lives by interacting with them and not taking anything from them.

LOL nope. Yesterday I was just rushing through my approaches to then go meet up with my friends so I did not even think of this. But thanks for pointing this out, next time I run across a girl who is leaving I will keep this in mind and see if I can push for this.

Thanks a lot for the inspiration. Makes me doubly motivated to keep at it and complete the full challenge. Have been lazing around today and telling myself I will approach later in the evening. But your reply has inspired me, I am going to go out now and get today's approaches done!

I also like seeing your reports. I check them every day.

 

[AspiringStoic]

Day 8 (17 November 2024)

Today was a meh day at the office in terms of results. But a couple of things I am happy about.

First of all I was procrastinating going out but then midway through the day just decided to go out and get done with the approaching. And then do everything else. That prioritizing of approaching is something I really need to lock in.

The other thing I am happy about is how I approached the first girl.

Approach 1
As soon as I get infield I see this hot girl walking and I just go in immediately without any hesitation. I loved that. Stop her and deliver my opener. She receives it well but seems in a hurry to leave. I carry on with the convo but she is not really biting and is inching away so I just wish her a good day and eject.

Approach 2
Another girl walking with beautiful hair. I stop her and compliment her on it. Cold read her nationality. I am close but I get it wrong. I then try to build some basic rapport but she is acting very uncomfortable. So much so that I feel that it would fuck up my own vibe. So I just say, nice meeting you and get the fuck out.

Approach 3
Another walking set. All bundled up due to the cold but she seems cute. I feel she kind of looks back at me as I am walking to catch up to her. This plants the thought in my head that she saw me and that this is creepy. But I decide, fuck it, let me open and see what happens. But I am really tentative and second guessing myself as I open and .... I promptly get ignored. Talk about a self fulfilling prophecy!!

Approach 4
Tram stop. Black girl. Open complimenting her hair. Cold read. Oops she is in high school. Her friend also arrives at that exact time. I just wish both of them a good day and eject.

Takeaways
You gotta prioritize approaching for a long time until it really becomes second nature to you. Until then, you will always face resistance to the thought of approaching.

Don't read too much into individual interactions, approaches, days etc. The real results and patterns emerge over larger sets of data.

Somedays you will feel like a loser, somedays will be just bleh and somedays you will feel like a rockstar. Its all part of the game.

 

[AspiringStoic]

Day 9 (18 November 2024)

Today was a fully packed day. I was in a state of worry about how I was going to fit in the approaching. Luckily something got cancelled and I suddenly had a 45 minute window in the middle of the work day. So I took it and just about ensured that I did my 4 approaches.

However, due to the hurried nature of the session, there were no quality interactions.

Approach 1
Tram stop. Compliment open. She likes it. Cold read her nationality but get it wrong. She is replying but she is also shy and I am not warmed up so I feel uncomfortable. So I just eject by wishing her a good day.

Approach 2
Tram stop. Alternative style girl. Open with a compliment, she loves it, I continue with a cold read and just as we are settling into a convo, her tram arrives. I look at the tram its taking me to a completely different part of town if I get on it with her. So I just let her get on it and say bye. If not for the time crunch, the right move would have definitely been to get on the tram, speak some more and go for the close.

Approach 3
I was running out of time. I had to get back, so I just wanted to open 2 more. Saw this older woman with nice earrings. Went in and complimented her. She was so pleasantly surprised that she started telling me where she got them from etc. As soon as that thread ran out, I wished her a good day and left with her beaming.

Approach 4
I already start heading back when I see a lady with a stylish jacket. No idea how she looks, so I just go in blind to compliment her jacket and she ends up not speaking English.

Takeaways
I am really happy I could even on the most not ideal of days go out and do 4 opens.

If everyday, rain or shine, I can really go out and talk to 4 girls I think all my issues with dating will pretty much solve themselves. Even just on Day 9 the momentum feels great, I cannot imagine how I would feel like if in a year I went out and spoke to 4 girls 350 days out of 365. That is some insane consistency and momentum.

I texted the instant date girl and have a date setup for tomorrow. If she turns up, that would be great. It would be my first date from this challenge and it would fall on Day 10.

But even if the date happens, I am trying to ensure that I open or at least compliment 4 girls tomorrow and if it really gets tight to at least do 1 or 2. Lets see how it goes.

 

[Científico]

Commenting so I see your updates. Great inspiration. Keep up the great work.

 

[AspiringStoic]

Day 10 (19 November, 2024)

A landmark day in my journey. My first date from daytime cold approach. Well, to be honest, I have gotten dates and even laid from daygame before. But that was years ago, pre-covid, and I was doing it with a wing. I could never approach alone back then. Now a few years later when I started approaching last year by myself, I felt like a complete beginner. I had to start from basic things like asking directions, opinions etc. Since around February this year I started being able to open with compliments and then get into real direct openers where I go over and tell her she is pretty/stylish etc and I wanted to meet her.

Its been quite a long journey and now finally today on Day 10 of this challenge, I had a date.

The Date
This was the girl I had had an instant date with last week. Since then I had pinged her in the weekend bantered a bit and setup a date. I confirmed it yesterday and the exact time and place today. We met and I walked her to a cafe/bar.

I had no big plans of pulling or going for the make out etc. I just wanted to enjoy this as a kind of reward for a all the work I have put in over the course of the year which has led to this. But I had some vague topics I wanted to touch on to just make sure I inject some sexuality into it and not end up being too platonic.

But luckily I did not have to worry much about it as the vibe was great after just a few minutes of getting over that meeting a stranger kind of feeling. She seemed excited and happy to be on the date with me. We had a couple of drinks and spent close to 4 hours together though she had told me that she had to work tomorrow and she lived quite far away from where we were meeting.

After the first hour, she really got into it and was animated and excited, asking me a lot of things about myself, sharing stuff about herself and laughing and joking around. I introduced the topic of tattoos in an attempt to sexualize the convo a bit and we spoke about sexy tattoos and what body parts are best to get a tattoo on etc

There was a lot of call backs from the instant date. She remembered a lot of what I had said in the instant date which I guess was a very good sign. One thing that I felt I could have done a bit more of was touching. I did touch her shoulder and arm but nothing more than that. In fact, I touched her more consciously during the instant date than today. However, I don't know how to describe it but I felt it was not "necessary" to touch this time around and that there was a sexual vibe even without too much touching.

Anyways, we had a great time and by the time I finished the date it was quite late. I wanted to have approached today as well but I did not expect the date to last 4 hours.

But hey wtf its okay, I will get back to approaching tomorrow. This is a big milestone for me. Suddenly the idea of me ALONE just walking around the streets and talking to girls and actually being able to get them on DATES is starting to look more real and more doable. Exciting times ahead!

 

[gameboy]

Day 10 (19 November, 2024)

A landmark day in my journey. My first date from daytime cold approach. Well, to be honest, I have gotten dates and even laid from daygame before. But that was years ago, pre-covid, and I was doing it with a wing. I could never approach alone back then. Now a few years later when I started approaching last year by myself, I felt like a complete beginner. I had to start from basic things like asking directions, opinions etc. Since around February this year I started being able to open with compliments and then get into real direct openers where I go over and tell her she is pretty/stylish etc and I wanted to meet her.

Its been quite a long journey and now finally today on Day 10 of this challenge, I had a date.

The Date
This was the girl I had had an instant date with last week. Since then I had pinged her in the weekend bantered a bit and setup a date. I confirmed it yesterday and the exact time and place today. We met and I walked her to a cafe/bar.

I had no big plans of pulling or going for the make out etc. I just wanted to enjoy this as a kind of reward for a all the work I have put in over the course of the year which has led to this. But I had some vague topics I wanted to touch on to just make sure I inject some sexuality into it and not end up being too platonic.

But luckily I did not have to worry much about it as the vibe was great after just a few minutes of getting over that meeting a stranger kind of feeling. She seemed excited and happy to be on the date with me. We had a couple of drinks and spent close to 4 hours together though she had told me that she had to work tomorrow and she lived quite far away from where we were meeting.

After the first hour, she really got into it and was animated and excited, asking me a lot of things about myself, sharing stuff about herself and laughing and joking around. I introduced the topic of tattoos in an attempt to sexualize the convo a bit and we spoke about sexy tattoos and what body parts are best to get a tattoo on etc

There was a lot of call backs from the instant date. She remembered a lot of what I had said in the instant date which I guess was a very good sign. One thing that I felt I could have done a bit more of was touching. I did touch her shoulder and arm but nothing more than that. In fact, I touched her more consciously during the instant date than today. However, I don't know how to describe it but I felt it was not "necessary" to touch this time around and that there was a sexual vibe even without too much touching.

Anyways, we had a great time and by the time I finished the date it was quite late. I wanted to have approached today as well but I did not expect the date to last 4 hours.

But hey wtf its okay, I will get back to approaching tomorrow. This is a big milestone for me. Suddenly the idea of me ALONE just walking around the streets and talking to girls and actually being able to get them on DATES is starting to look more real and more doable. Exciting times ahead!

Well done man! Glad you had fun!

I'd say 4 hours of date more than make up for 4 approaches, so you're good

 

[AspiringStoic]

Day 11 (20 November, 2024)

Back to the grind today. And back to the rejections.

@Chase absolutely nailed it in this article:

Picking Up Girls and the Game of Asymmetric Returns

I’ve been relistening to Nassim Taleb’s wonderful book Fooled by Randomness, which is a probabalist’s dream read. And if there’s one thing that picking up girls turns you into, it’s a probabalist. Reading it (or listening to it on audio, as I am), you see a great many parallels between stock...

www.girlschase.com

"The guy practicing pickup gets a slight victory boost from his success, and then it’s back into the meat grinder of rejection after rejection."

I lived this out today! After the victory boost from yesterday's date, its back into the hard graft.

Went out quite late today. So took quite a while to open the first set. It was cold, dark and less number of girls.

Approach 1
Taller girl with glasses, walking. I go in stop her and deliver my direct opener. She thanks me but is kind of confused as to whether she should stay or leave. I just continue talking, cold read, find out she is Italian and is visiting. Its all very choppy and she is not really giving me anything to work with. But instead of just ending the interaction, I decide to use this to just unshackle by getting a proper rejection.

I go for the close and tell her I want to take her out for a drink. She is struggling to come up with a polite way to reject me. I have grown to love this stage. Watching girls struggle to come up with a way to phrase their rejection. I just stand there looking at them thinking "okay girl lets see what you got".

She says she is busy now and cannot. I am not satisfied. I smile and say "Oh not now, some other day." and look at her waiting. She struggles for another few seconds and then says she is visiting in a group and cannot leave her group. I chuckle and finally diffuse the tension, smile and wish her a good evening and eject.

Approach 2
Alternative style with piercings, she is walking slowly. I stop her and compliment her piercing. She is pleased but her English is very basic. I am way more calmer after the first interaction and she calms down as if to match my energy and we enter into a convo. We speak for 2-3 minutes. I find out she is leaving tomorrow. I remember Chase's advice about girls being up for last day sex.

But..... I am in a dilemma. I have come out with my workout clothes in my bag and with a plan to hit the gym after my approaching. But this girl seems like she might be up for a drink/instant date. I had a few drinks yesterday on the date and I really don't want to drink today and I don't want to miss the gym. I look her up and down once again. She is cute but not anything exceptional. So I decide I will stick to my original plan than trying an instant date which may or may not lead to anything.

I ask her if she is up for a drink tomorrow before she leaves and she tells me she leaves at 11 am. Ah.... Damn it. I just banter some more and then just wish her a good evening and eject.

I know the right thing to do from a pure getting more reference experiences perspective would have been to see where it goes. But the whole reason I am building this skillset is to have enough abundance that I can let go of not ideal prospects. So I am kind of happy to have chosen to let this opportunity go.

Approach 3
Girl bundled up in a colorful coat and scarf. I stop her and compliment her on it. We get into a convo. She settles down and plants her feet after a minute while initially she seemed like she was about to leave. We speak for a few minutes, she tells me she is going to see a band perform at a bar with friends and tells me I can come along if I want. I say I am headed to the gym now. I talk some more and then she says she needs to go. I tell her I would like to take her out for a drink some other time. But she declines that offer so I wish her a good evening and leave.

Approach 4
Now its quite late. Less and less people around. I see a milf with curly hair on a tram stop. She is busy looking at her google maps. I go in and compliment her on her hair. She thanks me but goes straight back to her phone. So I just wish her a good evening and leave..

And then head to the gym and bang out a very satisfying workout.

Takeaways
Its all about opening/approaching. That is the hardest bit. Going on dates is fun and even if nothing comes out of it, you don't experience the nerve wracking feelings you experience while cold approaching.

Gotta conquer approaching and everything else will follow. Its about "taking the path of MOST resistance". For me that is definitely approaching.

So beating that resistance everyday, just in itself gives me a satisfaction that nothing else can give me.

 

[AspiringStoic]

Day 12 (21 November, 2024)

Went out a bit earlier today. But it was still dark. I had to go meet friends but I am really proud that I prioritized approaching and went a bit late to join them because I was doing the approaching. Again doing the challenge helped as it would have been easy for me to skip approaching today and just go meet my friends and tell myself I would do more approaches another day.

Approach 1
In a mall. See a retro stlyled girl walking. Go in immediately, stop her and give her a compliment. I continue the convo but I can see she is not really hooking. She then says she needs to go and again like yesterday I just go for the close. Not because she would agree but just to loosen up and get that first rejection out of the way. She tells me she has a boyfriend and we part ways.

Approach 2
There are not many people in the mall, so I walk around for a while. Finally see a cute taller girl. I go in stop her and deliver my opener. She visibly goes red in the face and thanks me and faces me fully. All good signs and we get into a convo. I realize she is very young, she just started Uni. As she is shy, I don't really tease much but we have a nice vibe going and speak for 4-5 minutes. Then I go for the close and invite her out. She says now? (In hindsight I am wondering if that was her saying yes to an instant date) But anyways an instant date would not have been convenient for me. So I say no some other day and she agrees and I get her contact, banter some more and part ways.

Approach 3
Tram stop. Girl in a stylish coat. I compliment her. But... she barely speaks English. I have to repeat my compliment 3 times for her to understand it. Once she does, she smiles and thanks me. I try to continue but the language barrier is too much so I just wish her a good evening and leave it at that.

Approach 4
Tram stop. Alternative girl with piercings. Go in and deliver a compliment. She is instantly friendly. I get 2 cold reads right about what she studies and about her passion for art. She seems more interested now. But I see the tram arriving and I go for the close. She agrees but there is too little time to get her contact as the tram is already in front of us. So I get in with her and damn its crowded as fuck. This was a test of my social freedom. Literally as 7-8 people are overhearing I still manage to get her contact and I get off at the next stop.

Takeaways
I see that for me on average, most girls react well to my approaches. There are those that don't stop etc which I think is inevitable but of the ones who interact none of them react badly in a knee jerk kind of way. I used to get those kind of reactions before but now they are very rare. That definitely shows that I have improved and I am way more calmer, comfortable and collected when I open.

Now I think is that "marathon of the middle" as I have heard it being described by some people. Its that stage in any skill when the beginner hell and excitement are gone and now I just need to be consistent and put in the numbers.

As long as I do that, I think my AA will reduce further, I will be more comfortable and calm which will then enable me to be more flirty and start moving towards that sexual bad boy vibe. I think I am now at the chill social guy stage and I started at the socially terrified and anxious guy stage.

And as long as I am consistently doing what I am doing, I will get numbers, of them many will just fall off and some will lead to dates.

But there is one other thing that I still struggle with. I think now its more of a problem now than AA. And that is handling all the no responses, no replies, ghosts and flakes that are a part of cold approach. When I have an interaction that I thought was solid and then the girls don't reply on text it still hits me quite hard and I feel gutted. That is something I need to overcome.

But thankfully now, I know exactly how to overcome it. By facing it head on and experiencing it enough times that I become de-sensitized to it. And that is where I will focus my efforts on getting to.