A Stoic Journey

[Stark]

Quick but Important Update

Yesterday, I had my first pull since starting to learn daygame solo without any wingmen. It has roughly taken about a year. Last year was all about slow small progress, starting with asking for directions, to compliments to direct opens to then opening direct having conversations and going for the close and getting a couple of dates. Now finally, I have had a girl I met on the street, lying on my bed.

This is a huge milestone for me. I feel like finally I believe, now that I have had the personal experience of doing this all by myself. Walking out of the house with just the clothes on my back, speaking to a girl, taking her for a coffee, getting her number, meeting her the next day and getting her to my place.

I have so many thoughts and aha moments and lessons that this experience and my journey so far has taught me. I am recording all of them in voice notes, will compile a field report later. But thanks to all you guys who have been reading this journal and my postings and encouraging and advising me here.

I knew this was coming. Well deserved outcome. Looking forward to the report

 

[bkw]

Hey man, I can totally relate about not feeling it and having resistance. I've always found the community is great motivation for me in the past. Just reading a few of these threads have got me pretty excited again. Keep up the great work!

 

[Higher]

Yesterday, I had my first pull since starting to learn daygame solo without any wingmen.

That unforgettable feeling Well-deserved!

 

[AspiringStoic]

Another update!

I have been absent here for a while as I was trying to spend less time in the digital world and also make sure I am "actually doing more game" in the real world than talking about pickup.

It has been going great, 2 weeks since my first pull, now I have had another date. This year, we are still in February, and I have already got more results from cold approach than the entirety of last year. I am really excited, it feels amazing. Now this weekend I am going to sit and write down the FRs of both my pull and my date. I have learnt a lot about where I did things right and where I did things less optimally.

 

[AspiringStoic]

Finally got myself to write an FR of the girl I pulled a couple of weeks ago here!

LR-- - A Year's Work Pays Off!

Background For those of you who don't know me, I started going out to do daygame alone since the beginning of 2024. It was really tough in the beginning and I started with the most basic thing which is asking for directions, asking basic informational questions etc. I practised stopping girls...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[AspiringStoic]

Update:

I am trudging along nicely. Finally with the AA system I have written about, I am able to achieve consistency in going out and approaching.

Its paying off, had 2 dates last week.

My progress is following a clear step by step pattern..

I want to stabilize this level now. Being able to approach consistently and get a few dates every month. That is my focus for the next couple of months.

 

[AspiringStoic]

Okay so its been a long time since I updated my journal. This has been long overdue. But to be honest, of late I really did not feel like posting much on the forum because I felt the forum was taking a turn for the worse and becoming another place for complaining and venting.

But @alexlaguma made a reference to my journal that made me realize that they are still members who have found my journal useful enough to remember it, so I guess I might still provide some value by posting here. Thanks for the shoutout @alexlaguma .

So since my last update. Many things have happened. May-July was a really stressful period for me because of other things that were going on in my life. So cold approach took a back seat. But that period made me realize something very important.

The Power of Habits
When times get tough, we all default to our habits. Motivation, inspiration etc dont work during those times. They are all temporary. What ultimately remains and stands the test of time are habits.

In those difficult months I could not concentrate on cold approach and seduction. In the previous years I would have taken a complete break in such tough times. But this time I just hung on and kept my habit going.

I tried to do at least 1 approach everyday. Although I did not manage it and skipped some days, I never went more than 3 days in a row without approaching. That helped so much.

Because once the life circumstances ironed themselves out, I had no "getting back to it" period. My habit had ensured that approaching was something my brain had been used to and I could easily just turn it back up from doing just 1-2 a day to doing a lot more.

So one of my biggest learnings of this year so far as been this. Keep the habit of approaching regardless of what happens. I really hope to be talking to 1 women a day at least for the rest of my life even if I have kids and grandkids.

So that if I am 80 and find myself in need of finding some female companionship I still have the skills to chat up some sexy 40 or 50 year olds at least.

Field Reports
Since my last update I have had several dates and some lays. But I just dont feel like writing field reports or lay reports.

I wrote one in March about my first success but reading it again I just felt I dont want to be sharing that part of my life on a public forum. I am just not comfortable with it.

Not to say I am against it on some moral grounds or that I think there is something wrong about guys writing lay reports but its just a personal boundary of mine.

And another reason is that I did not come to cold approach as a completely sexually inexperienced guy looking to get laid, I had already had that virgin to successful with women journey with online dating and social circle. I came for certain other reasons. I will elaborate that and many other things in another post.

But the point is I am more interested in the process of cold approach from "Hi" to her meeting you again on a date. Than from being on a date to sex.

This year I have had some amazing breakthroughs and "Aha" moments in my cold approach journey. I have made tons and tons of notes about them.

I really thought this forum was not a good place to write about it because of the way things were going here.

But the recent turn of events and support by senior members and realizing they also felt the same has given me renewed enthusiasm to post here.

I feel I am too much of an optimist and like seeing the bright side of everything. I realize most people are not like that so I know that many times what I say does not resonate with them.

But regardless I am going to make a giant post about my thoughts and realizations about cold approach and even if a few or one guy finds some value in it, I guess its worth the effort.

So look out for that post. Happy to be back here posting.

 

[AspiringStoic]

Why I Started Cold Approach and What I Really Want? (Part 1)

I was sitting on a date recently with a girl I was pretty attracted to and listening to her kind of talk about stuff I really dont care about.

It was the weekend and we were sitting outside at a bar and there were many attractive girls and girls in groups going past us.

I remember sitting there and feeling very inauthentic. I started thinking why that was and I realized I was doing many things I did not really want to be doing.

I was drinking a bit more than I wanted to on that evening but the girl wanted to drink more and I was going along with it.

It felt worse because I had chosen a more pricey bar since it was a date and not me out with my buddies.

I was staying out later than I wanted to and I missed all my good healthy habits the next day.

And by the end of the date I had checked out and just tamely went for the pull wishing she said no just so I could tell myself that I went for it.

As soon as she gave some objection, I was like okay fine bye and parted ways with her.

The next day I realized that though going on dates and having sexual experiences was fun I have an ideal in mind for a kind of person I want to be and the reason I was feeling bad was because I was not taking steps towards my real goal.

Though most guys in the world would take a date on a Saturday night over approaching, what I really want is to become a kind of guy who can have an amazing time approaching lots and lots of girls on an evening like that.

I would have rather spent 3 hours on that evening approaching all the gorgeous dressed up girls walking around going to and from parties and be able to do it not only with no anxiety but have FUN while doing it than be sitting there on a date.

Because to me that is my goal. I have a very specific kind of guy I want to become and I want my weekend evenings to kind of look like this. What this guy is doing in these videos:

If I even get to 50 percent of that I would be very happy.

But wait a second I was on a date!! A date I had got from a cold approach.

I was closer to having sex! Why the fuck would I take a step back and go into the earlier phase of approaching??

Well, that brings me to the question of why I started cold approach in the first place.

Why I Got Into Cold Approach

There was a time when I was a clueless virgin. Then I found pickup and read and watched tons and tons of material and began applying it.

I did not start off with cold approach but rather with online dating and trying to build a social life which was at that time non-existent and trying to get laid from them.

It was quite a journey but over 2-3 years I changed and ended up being in bed with over 25+ women.

I even had mini relationships and could get laid semi consistently. Enough to keep me somewhat satisfied.

But there was one thing that kept gnawing at me. One thing I could not escape.

Every time I was out of my house, whether on the street, in bars, in malls, bus stops etc I saw pretty girls. But I could not just go over and talk to them!!!

It seemed like an invisible wall that existed that I could not break through.

I could confidently message the same girl on a dating app if she had already matched with me or if I met her at some event but if she just stood there next to me at a bus stop, why the FUCK could I not just talk to her directly??

Why did I need a stupid intermediary?

For all the self-improvement I had done, I was still a slave to an electronic device and some application to deliver me my love life and to have sex.

That thought drove me crazy and kept eating away at me.

I remember one day coming back from a girl's place after just having had sex.

I got out of the underground and stepped on to the street and as I was waiting at the crosswalk, this stylishly dressed girl came and stood next to me.

I saw her. I wanted to talk to her. There was NOTHING stopping me from saying

"Hi, I just wanted to say, you look really stylish. You remind me of a sexy vampire"

I thought of the line, I had seen many videos of guys saying that or something similar on YT
and yet somehow I just could not do it...

But wait a second, wtf??

I just had sex for God's sake!

I mean I got laid!

Isnt getting laid supposed to be the ultimate confidence booster??

I just got laid, I should be at my peak confidence and I could not even say Hi to this girl!

Something was off. That is when I realized a big truth!

Sex Does NOT = Confidence

Sex is pleasure. Sex is good feelings. And yes in the realm of having sex, it gives confidence.

But sex and the ability to approach are not connected!

Sex does not give you the confidence to cold approach.

It does not make you FEARLESS!

It does not make you be able to handle REJECTION!

If there are two guys, Guy A and B and

Guy A sleeps with 10 girls in a year.

Guy B cold approaches a 1000 girls in a year.

They are both going to be very different people at the end of that year.

Guy A would have had a lot more pleasure, and yes he definitely would have developed some sexual confidence.

Guy B on the other hand would have done something that 99.99999 percent of men would never have done and would never do in their entire lives.

Guy B would have faced kinds of emotions, faced parts of himself, had to handle thoughts and feelings that most people will never come face to face with in their entire lifetimes.

Having been both guy A and guy B in different years, in my next post, I will outline what I have had to face as Guy B and why the journey has been the most transformative and difficult journeys I have gone through in my life so far.