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A Stoic Journey

AspiringStoic

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Oct 21, 2023
Messages
312
Totally agree! I think that improving interpersonal in any field (cold calling, making friends, approaching girls) is challenging because theres always that x factor of people.

When you go through your 30th call of the day with no sales and the guy on the phone says he hates your product and the company scammed his savings away, its not easy to make another call with a real smile on your face. Its even harder if your new and don't have alot of results.

When you make faus paux after faus paux trying to make friends for the first time, its just not a great time.


Typing on a keyboard is easy. Writing in a journal is easy. Going to the gym is easy. For some people, its really hard starting out. But anything interpersonal is twice as hard for other, because again, theres the x factor of people.

Your progress so far is great to see. Your approaching more and consistently more. The next step I would personally take is to start turning those approaches into dates, or at least phone numbers that will turn into dates.

As for how I do that, my process is taken from the last days of the newbie assignment strung together. Its all I know right know.

1. First I stand or sit down next to the girl, ideally close so she can hear me and I can bridge the proximity barrier. I lost most of the girls just by trying to approach to far away.

2. Then I open with “how’s you day going?” or “watcha working on?”, depending on whether their working on something or not

3. After responding, I tell them I think they’re cute and I want to say hi, with a smile on my face near the end of the sentence.

3. Then I introduce myself with "Im [name]" and reach my hand out to shake hands.

4. Then I either small talk or banter first, then weave in a little more banter. If she looked busy, I say "you looked so engrossed I practically had to drag you out of your boring day" or whatever variation of that feels comfortable coming out of my mouth. If not, I'll comment on her clothes and say its a little to early for x scarf or y hat, maybe you know something I don't. Honestly, I love to just add "maybe you know something I don't" to any tease regarding a choice she made. I also use a playful tone.

5. Lastly, I tell her I would love to grab a bite with the her sometime, and ask if she’d like that. I usually ask if I think the conversation is gonna die, or shes into it and asking me quesitons about myself or just talking more in general. When she says yes, I say I'll text her or wait for her to ask for my number. If she asks for my social, f that. I say I don't have any but i can text her. When she starts putting the phone number in, I resume the conversation or ask another question, to make the number grab nonchalent. That way she doesn't remeber you grabbing her number and leaving, but how attracted she was to you. And if everything works, she will definitly be into you.
Thanks for this post.

As for getting numbers, I have been doing that. I just don't mention it here because I just want to quantify one thing at a time here. As of now, my biggest goal is to be able to approach 30+ girls/ week consistently. Once I get there I will work on the next thing.

I have been getting numbers though since August, had a few instant dates as well.
 

AspiringStoic

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Oct 21, 2023
Messages
312
Last couple of weeks (28 Oct- 3rd Novemeber) : 5 approaches
And this week (4 November - 9 Novemeber) : 11 approaches

Have not been very good. This is not excusable because these weeks I have had more free time than in the two weeks prior to that, where I racked up 21 and 30 approaches respectively.

I tried to stay away from this forum and the Internet in general as I felt I was spending too much time in front of the screen. But it seems like when I am not reading or checking up on pickup stuff, my motivation to approach is a lot less.

Or rather it feels more "strange" like I am the only one doing it. So maybe its time for some accountability and little bit of a boost. I am thinking of doing a 7 day (1 week challenge) of 4 approaches every day from Monday to get myself back in the thick of things.
 

AspiringStoic

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Oct 21, 2023
Messages
312
Same here, when I'm not posting here I'm more likely to slack off on approaching.
Yeah funny how that works.

I just started a 30 day challenge of approaching 4 girls per day. Its based on an article by Chase here:


To kind of kick start momentum. I think you are also kind of looking to do that. It would be great if you joined me in this challenge.

We could keep each other accountable and motivated. And I think 4 approaches is an ideal number for both of us. Its not beyond our reach, but its a bit of a stretch which makes it great. I just started a new thread in the journals section about it. It would be great if you joined in. 😎
 

gameboy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 7, 2023
Messages
973
Yes, I saw your challenge. I just recently decided to not give myself a numeric goal though, at least for this month. I want to focus more on being present in my interactions and not ejecting too soon.

I did read the report of your first day though, and gotta say I found it inspiring. Keep up the good work!
 
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AspiringStoic

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Oct 21, 2023
Messages
312
8 December, 2024

Back here after not being able to complete the 30 day challenge.

However, I of course still intend to go out regularly till the end of the year.

Last week all my approaches were half hearted so I wanted to just get back to doing solid, full fledged approaches today. Managed to do 2.

Approach 1
Really cute lady at crosswalk. Opened with a compliment, she thanked me but was not overly enthusiastic. I just continued the convo and she seemed to contribute a bit more. Then the light turned green and I just wished her a good day and parted ways.

Wanted to do 1 approach where I go for the close and get rejected or get the close just to remove the shackles I was feeling.

Approach 2
Hot, gothic chick walking. Went in stopped her confidently, delivered my direct opener. She loved it. But something instantly told me she was taken. After just 2-3 seconds she made an attempt to leave, I just kept talking and she kind of came back in. But I just went for the close. She told me she had a bf. I wished her a good day and left.

That felt good. After a week I finally did a couple of full fledged approaches.
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

gameboy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 7, 2023
Messages
973
Very nice! Keep going :)

I don't think anyone has ever successfully completed this challenge in the time I've been following the forum. Which is over a year already. So kudos for trying!
 

AspiringStoic

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Oct 21, 2023
Messages
312
9 December 2024

Busy day and extremely bad weather. So just did 1 approach. It was semi direct, chatted for a bit but it did not go anywhere.
 
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