abundance -> absolute abundance blueprint

[DoWhatWorks]

Update:

Without believing my own hype too much, I genuinely think I'm onto something with this whole "system building" way of sustainably meeting enough girls day to day.

All I'm really doing is adding tactical details to how to make daygame practical for your life

Chase mentioned having "anchor" spaces where you socialize, which is what's working for me as well as integrating fun hobbies with mixed crowds and visiting inspiring places regularly that keeps me at a steady zen sociable state.

I (probably) naively think that I can integrate and succeed in gym, dating and business at the same time and the way I do that is simply compartmentalize and have a trained "on/off" switch. In defense/props to skills he was saying this for years but I wasn't ready to hear it.

What this looks like in practice:

9-10:30am : chill and gradually wake up/get ready

10:30am - 2pm : deep work

2pm - 6pm : anchor venue e.g. cafe I like, hotel lobby etc. where I do casual work like emails etc and have conversations if opportunity comes up.

6pm - 8pm : physical activity like swimming, mixed sports, yoga class, calisthenics etc. or event e.g. supper club, meet friends

8pm - 9pm : another work blitz or cook/wind down for the evening

10pm - 12pm : wind down, reflect on day, a lot of my posts at this time, chat gpt ramblings then bed.

Basically after 2pm I'm in semi-sociable mode and because I've got my main big task out the way. It's at this point when I ping people around me and have adhoc approaches. Cause of I've got a fun/flex calendar I'm in good flow and my energy is infectious

This is the flow that's been working for me and I'm meeting normal, pretty, well adjusted girls in my day to day and exchanging numbers while feeling like I could do this forever without burning out.

Caveat I'll say is that this is a summer flow, and in Q4 my deep work might be 10am - 6pm as biz should be a main priority then and it's cold and not fun to be out and about but by then I back myself to have got a girl or 2 I'm into in the rotation.

The schedule sounds so simple but the hardest part is finding your ideal "anchor venues" and events/activities when you've just been used to clubbing, occasional approaching and not much else lol.

 

[KJ Francis]

So you're fully discarding any "pound the pavement" type street approaches? Very interesting, though I guess you'd have to maintain really sharp opportunistic game, since it seems medium volume at most. Maybe this doesn't matter in a massive city.

I can definitely appreciate wanting an integrated lifestyle rather than "day game sessions" later in life, and also targeting niche environments to find specific personality fits. But I do think the most reliable grounds would be:

-cafes and late afternoon walks directly adjacent to campuses

-central business district lunch hour

-biz district end of day commute points, especially subway platforms

-higher end grocers only if neighborhood is known to be dense with young professionals


I'd think these would present a consistent opportunity stream with an order of magnitude more options, but I guess it also totally discounts the selective compatibility strategy.

 

[DonGately]

Agree with you on art museums and gallery cafes, possibly the best and most underutilized resources there are in cities for guys looking to pick up [or date spots]. You get arty, creative chicks, normies taking a day/night off, and tourists [often from outside USA also]. Any of 3 can be gamed easily in this venue. Many art musuems even serve drinks 1-2 nights a week now, some with music.

The zodiac thing can work really, really well on some women.

The best woman in my life definitely fall into the LAFS/great insta-chemistry scenario. This has been the case for virtually every fantastic relationship I've had from months to 3+ years.
You notice the looks/body right away and then chat her up and then the: personality, intelligence, submissiveness, style, sincerity come through.

'I will have this girl!' Exactly. And the sex is amazing.

 

[alexlaguma]

I also know myself, when my social life is active and filled with things I can't wait to attend, my cold approaches are effortless, more enjoyable and I'm more magnetic which means I'd get good results with lower volume too.

This really resonates. Looking back at my numbers this year, the approaches that have went really well have been when I've been on my way to do something else, rather than out for a day-game session. There just seems to be a subtle difference to the conversation, its less forced and more natural.

infamous running clubs,

You know I'm a believer

 

[DoWhatWorks]

you'd have to maintain really sharp opportunistic game, since it seems medium volume at most. Maybe this doesn't matter in a massive city.

Yep fortunate enough to live in a city of 8 million people so have the volume

but I guess it also totally discounts the selective compatibility strategy.

Wanted to pick up on this as been speaking with a friend and you can still "sub-niche" within hotspots for example:

cafes and late afternoon walks directly adjacent to campuses

Depending on what university campus you target the very different the crowd. Humanities vs STEM for example. So actually remind me I need to find cool cafes in these areas to my rotation

-central business district lunch hour

I probably won't do this but for someone lurking, industries tend to "stick" together. E.g. finance district with banks, a street of law firms, an area filled with PR agencies. Nothing stopping someone for going to areas that have the type of professionals they like

Many art musuems even serve drinks 1-2 nights a week now, some with music.

Yes this is getting big in London. A lot of the main galleries will stay open until 10pm 1x a month for exhibits and bars
Takes organization though as it sells out quick. Only been to 2 but aiming to go to more.

I've been on my way to do something else, rather than out for a day-game session. There just seems to be a subtle difference to the conversation, its less forced and more natural.

100% man, I've seen similar too. I'm trying to balance being active without being aimless while still doing enough volume to let the numbers game work in my favour.

You know I'm a believer

Hahah for sure, if I hit you up for run clubs or Zara don't be surprised

 

[DonGately]

Bookstores on/near campus for the non-STEM girls are always a good spot to game. Once picked up a cute grad student with a killer tennis body due to my knowledge of Infinite Jest. And she was brilliant.

 

[DoWhatWorks]

Starting to click.

Went to a "[mixed physical activity] club" yesterday, 70% girl to 30% guy ratios.

Portion of the girls were to put it politely not for me but a good enough % were attractive for me to work with.

Club is ran by 2 girls (prioritize events hosted by girls, they're wayyyyyyy better)

• One girl flirted with me hard and offered to get me a drink. I was polite but she's out my age range.
• Got like 5 Instagrams easily & could have got more (hosts actively encouraged people to connect)
• 1 of the prettiest girls DM'd me first... My bad messaging (too platonic) ruined it lol but more importantly POC is there

Unrelated but I pinged an Asian girl on the train (she hovered near me) quick convo and she invited me to same day wall climbing...

My vibe is getting magnetic again, the biggest thing holding me down is actually my texting. I get impatient and skip steps.

Have to remember to flowwwwwwwwwwwwww not force.

Another side note going to clean up and temporarily put more effort into my Instagram.

Not because I'm doing Dan Bilzeran flashy game but a simple, lowkey and well put together IG helps build comfort and tip-over the maybe girls who I meet out and about.

I see it as a smaller micro-escalation step in the flow of: ping > convo > exchange IG > exchange numbers > date.

Have to respond to the market, going from convo to number can be seen as skipping a micro-step. IG gives that layer of safety for women and yes straight to number can still work but I think I'll (long-term) have better success smoothening it out.

Met up with a girl at the start of the year who I exchanged IG at an art event so again proof of concept, I know it can be done.

No dates or LRs yet in recent weeks from this system but I think it's important I document the journey because I feel it coming & this is a criminally under-spoken about approach to game IMO.

Onwards & Upwards x

 

[Velasco]

Lets say you succeed in your strategy, and you get that girl and then you break up, you are pretty much done in the setting (which is why i hate social circle light or social circles)...

I broke up with the hostess at my restaurant. No drama. The good thing about the restaurant I work at. Is that because it employees a lot of hot college girls (my target demographic) from the local university. Is that once the older girls graduate. A new lineup of undergraduate girls fill up their positions. So even if there is drama with one of the girls you lay, there will be a new rotation of girls to come in. And whatever you did in the past doesn’t matter. Because they don’t know anything. Just that you are good looking and have status (at this moment, I have status in my restaurant).

 

[DoWhatWorks]

because it employees a lot of hot college girls (my target demographic) from the local university. Is that once the older girls graduate. A new lineup of undergraduate girls fill up their positions

This is the angle most guys are missing when you bring up social circle environments.

You can remove a lot of the downsides of social circle by going for events/clubs that naturally have high turnover.

Granted I have the luxury of living in an 8 million+ city with people coming and going so targeting spaces that attract "new girls to the city" or "girl putting herself out there" is an evergreen option.

Feel like I'm going mad trying to explain this to people lol but I'll just point to this thread when the LRs start coming in.

 

[DoWhatWorks]

Quick update as I work through this.

1. I'm finding events are hit and miss and have pendulum swinged to daygame at the moment. Why?

Finding the right events is time consuming and they're still hit or miss. At best you'll find 3-5 girls you're into who may not be single or interested. Whereas with DG you can approach 3-5 girls in an hour or 2 if you're in an area with enough volume.

2. Found a hidden gem in my city of public parks near uni campuses where I've noticed an increased % of bumping into friendly, attractive and upbeat girls in the early 20's range. Sorry but I'm gatekeeping exact locations.

3. The Abundance Trap: Why More Hot Women Can Mean Less Sex - was uncannily accurate for how I've felt this whole year.

Without realising I've gone for "option 2" I.E increase your ability to get more of the type of women you like. Looks threshold I'm happy with, but met someone last year that made me re-think a need for a strong personality filter too.

Still in the lot of work upfront for nothing stage, but seeing small glimpses of progress:

- Daygame instadate with an English girl I meet at a Thai street-food market (ended up getting friendzoned lol but we move)

- Daygame date with an attractive Korean tourist who at times would take 30 seconds to reply to my questions lol. Haven't experienced anything like it.

She definitely leaned shy/low-exposure socially but being honest with myself I think it could have gotten way better had I been less out of practice.

Haven't taken time to reflect and was feeling like nothing is clicking but objectively, the dates are starting to come in and it's about keeping my pipeline full and getting back in flow to inevitably increase my date conversion.

Another reflection, the dates have come in from daygame not events (which I've been doing longer) so think that may be the most efficient for my goals but I'll carry on doing both and seeing what happens.

Onwards and upwards x

 

[alexlaguma]

Sorry but I'm gatekeeping exact locations.

Another reflection, the dates have come in from daygame not events (which I've been doing longer) so think that may be the most efficient for my goals but I'll carry on doing both and seeing what happens.

I'm finding similar. When I look back through my numbers this year, most of the dates I've had have been from girls I've cold approached. Not only that, most of those cold approaches have been "organic" - ie; I've been on my way to or back from something. So not during a cold approach "session". Although that data could be mis-leading because I'm very infrequent with my cold approach sessions. Whereas I'll tend to approach ~5 girls a week just from going about my business.

The way I see the events (run clubs for me) is like an index tracker fund. Its not gunna pay off immediately, because I'm not going direct. But ... over the medium term I like to think I'll pick up some good quality women just from being a cool, social guy that they know.

Also they are good just for building your network anyway. For example, last night at a run club I met a DJ who invited me to his next event. Which suffice to say should have hot women there.

 

[Skills]

Quick update as I work through this.




- Daygame date with an attractive Korean tourist who at times would take 30 seconds to reply to my questions lol. Haven't experienced anything like it.

^ yes..... lol! 30 seconds is good, there are women that take longer, gen z brother...

She definitely leaned shy/low-exposure socially but being honest with myself I think it could have gotten way better had I been less out of practice.

gen z

Another reflection, the dates have come in from daygame not events (which I've been doing longer) so think that may be the most efficient for my goals but I'll carry on doing both and seeing what happens.

Onwards and upwards x

I think day game is the way to go tbh, is just soo easy the main problem is the lack of volume, and is just so boring..... but it seems you resolve that issue with finding that strategic place...

 

[Atatürk]

My Big 5 Personality Traits

Openness ***
Consientiousness **
Extroversion **
Agreeableness **
Neuroticism **

 

[DoWhatWorks]

When we hang out next we'll go man, it's walkable from oxford circus

I'm finding similar. When I look back through my numbers this year, most of the dates I've had have been from girls I've cold approached. Not only that, most of those cold approaches have been "organic" - ie; I've been on my way to or back from something. So not during a cold approach "session". Although that data could be mis-leading because I'm very infrequent with my cold approach sessions. Whereas I'll tend to approach ~5 girls a week just from going about my business.

Nice. Good to hear your experience on this. I used to swear by "go about your day daygame" but where I've had a change in opinion is that I think having 1-2 hour "session" 1x a week just to ensure volume consistency and the habit is worth it (for me).

Can imagine it becomes optional once I'm in full flow.

The way I see the events (run clubs for me) is like an index tracker fund. Its not gunna pay off immediately, because I'm not going direct. But ... over the medium term I like to think I'll pick up some good quality women just from being a cool, social guy that they know.

I've reached this conclusion too. I've basically "diversified" my offline channels:

- cold approach, quick yes or no with controllable volume

- events/social circle lite, slower pace, more slow burn IG or whatsapp contacts but borderline "inbound" and "easy"

A guy I know on here had a girl escalate on him and lead him to her house just by being part of a mixed fitness group. He knows who he is and I'll let him chime in if he decides to.

I've also seen similar of girls being forward to exchange numbers, hang out etc etc.

- nightgame, this is the one I'm least into these days. I go to specific events for fun, with upside of a girl if the opportunity presents itself but this will become a smaller and smaller part of my pool

Also they are good just for building your network anyway. For example, last night at a run club I met a DJ who invited me to his next event. Which suffice to say should have hot women there.

That's the added benefit for sure, see it as a good networking pool and space to get wingmen. As I reach the age where guys start getting into LTRs you need to go younger I.E mid 20's to keep your competent wing pipeline full

30 seconds is good, there are women that take longer, gen z brother...

Oh dear, good to know it only gets worse ahahah. I find I had to really dumb down my game, make things very simple A-B-C and to the point. Quick wit, too much teasing goes over their head...

I won't be as harsh against girls my age lol - grass isn't always greener you just choose the pros/cons you like (the most).

I think day game is the way to go tbh, is just soo easy the main problem is the lack of volume, and is just so boring..... but it seems you resolve that issue with finding that strategic place...

I think daygame is way forward too. Yeah I resolved the volume challenge by doing research (chat gpt helped a lot) and trial and error. Incorporating it into my schedule helped with the boring implement and also treat it as a way to explore my city.

Separate side note I'm big on numbers and think it's helpful when people share so I'll do the same

Here's my numbers of over the past week:

17 pings and approaches
6 contact details (number or Instagram)
2 dates

Just under 1 in 3 approaches lead to contact and another 1 in 3 contacts lead to dates.

I'm pretty happy with that especially as I've not done consistent daygame for so long.

The volume is very sustainable and if I carry this on and get my date to lay conversion to 50% (at my best it's 75%+) then in theory I could be doing 4 new lays a month from DG without breaking a sweat (50% of 8 dates from 2 a week).

Only curveball is I think summer has a HUGE impact on my city. Back in February even March my numbers were way worse even though my approach was more or less the same.

The plan is to maintain this effort, get girl(s) I like locked in before winter, ride the dip then rinse and repeat next summer.

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

I wanted to more consistently date girls who were attractive AND very compatible personality-wis

Wish I saw this post earlier.

I don't have any issues with your 3 prong approach. Seems sensible. I'm sure that's what a lot of us/guys in general do unconsciously. Have I pulled from all Latin environments and country and western places, yes. Ideal, no.

What I know will be the stumbling block is using events and other people to do screening for you.

You'll find more in common by going to places with the right demographic and the same interests - but will you find compatibility?

What does compatibility mean?
In practical terms?

I know a girl is compatible is she says this, or does this? Is that the covert contract? The invisible expectation?

What does it look like a day 1 versus year 20....

I don't endorse this couple, but they're like two peas in a pod.

They're mirror images is each other, and seem to finish each other's sentences.

Is this what you're looking for?

My experience in putting compatibility first is that it's hard to find something that isn't visual. How your personality meshes with others over time is really hard, if even possible.

And like you note above, girls are chameleons - you are the vessel and they are water. They will take your shape to be with you, and it's all good until it's not.

She wants to be with a doctor, until she looks up 10 years later and is raising kids by herself because he necessarily isn't there. He's always at work.

She wants a gangsta because she wants a man that will protect her, untill he hits her upside the head..

He wants a demure Asian girl, until he realizes it's a big front, and turns out she's a control freak and very immature.

He wants a bubbly happy girl that's easy to talk to, until he realizes she's like that with every man, and doesn't know how to turn off behavior that attracts men.

He wants a submissive chick until he realizes that he has to make all of her decisions.

To find the right mix of traits is challenging enough, only for her personality to switch up after he invests heavily.

I'm well into my 40s and this thing that you want, I wanted. And I found it a few times actually but it's moments in time.

Looks, smarts, skills, values - and it will go left.

At first you just bounce. Then you compromise. Then you try to manage the relationship.

I have found that I can't *make* things. It's not mechanical or predictable like the short game of picking up to pull.

All this to say, your overall approach is good, but it doesn't necessarily solve problems.

 

[DoWhatWorks]

Thanks @West_Indian_Archie posts like yours from people who're further ahead than me is a big reason as to why I bother to post my progress in the first place.

Based on your final piece below - am I right in thinking there are no solutions to predictably get long-term compatibility?

All this to say, your overall approach is good, but it doesn't necessarily solve problems.

That makes sense as long term compatibility has so many variables (let alone my own preferences changing) but I think a way more achievable sub-conscious aim I have in the category of "personality/compatability" which unfortunately isn't a "standard" in the west is:

I want emotionally stable (as far as a girl can be), secure attachment style, touch, acts of service and verbal love language girl (which can be coached) that leans submissive yet independent (harder to find out-the-box).

Niche? Sure but I think very attainable and realistic enough to give me enough to play around with.

What I realized was fishing in the pools of online and clubbing predominantly led to a significant % of girls with bad drinking habits, anti-depressants usage, avoidant attachment styles and just overall immaturity.

If I keep running into it, that's a me problem to solve with my approach. Hence the drastic shift.

Your points on what people think they want before they deal with the cons I fully agree with.

Thomas Sowell said it best: "There are no solutions, only trade-offs"

I'm going into this with my eyes wide open I.E cool, she's low maintenance and submissive which I know will get boring so I'll either need to stretch the boundaries of what we do sexually or get some on the side, is what it is. OR this girl's fun but a handful and I know "managing" her will be annoying at times but that process is what will keep me stimulated, so is what it is. Etc etc.

Do you mind elaborating on these 2 points? Curious to hear your experience:

At first you just bounce. Then you compromise. Then you try to manage the relationship.

this thing that you want, I wanted. And I found it a few times actually but it's moments in time.

I know you're giving a realistic heads up but can't help but think if other guys have figured it out, than I can too. Most likely though, they probably did some blend of compromise or relationship management...

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

Do you mind elaborating on these 2 points? Curious to hear your experience:

I know you're giving a realistic heads up but can't help but think if other guys have figured it out, than I can too. Most likely though, they probably did some blend of compromise or relationship management...

The lifecycle of an "LTR"

1) You can just replace the chick when she starts acting up

If you have the pickup skill set - so that going out on any given night, you can find an attractive chick to get with - you're basically "free" in a way that guy w/o the pick up skill set isn't.

Pre-Pick Up Archie

• You wanna do what? Sure babe.
• You want me to do what? Sure, babe.
• You want me to agree to something that I don't agree with ? Of course, no problem

Current Archie

• You wanna do what? SEE YA!
• You want me to do what? SEE YA!
• You want me to agree to what? SEE YA!

If I want something different...

• Taller? Screen for taller
• More T and Less A? More A and less T? Less T&A, more of a runner's body - Screen, Screen, Screen.
• Don't like feminist HR types? Screen for it.
• Need a chick that's gonna march with me for the revolution? Screen for it.
• More wild in bed? Less Wild? Can Cook and Clean? Not a clean freak or kitchen Tyrant - Screen x 4

I never have to compromise on what I would call "paper" statistics. These traits that a lot of guys want, you can pretty much figure out in the first 5-10 minutes, or the first couple of weeks of dating.

The ability to replace a cute 5'4" chick with a good body, good education and a good job with another one that fits those same criteria is pretty trivial. ..

I had a thing for Vietnamese chicks, I could never bag one in the states (I have never pursued them that hard, truthbetold, but how could I rack up Kazazkh and Ugandan girls but never a Viet).......and then I went to Vietnam. There are millions upon millions of them.

MILLIONS.

Tall, Short, really short, skinny as a rail, oddly voluptuous.... college aged, early career, mid career, milfs.... MILLIONS. And that part of the world - Southern China, Laos, Cambodia, Thailand, Singapore/Malaysia, Philippines - for my purposes - we're talking hundreds of millions. Met a few while I was in Saigon, and even though my verbal game was non-existent via Google Translate, based on the folks I met - it'd really just be as simple as putting down roots there. Foreigner/Exotic value is very high whenever guys travel. It's not good for a man's game when the woman is incentivized to make things work.....( I digress)

But paper stats - observable criteria, or easily uncovered criteria - those don't really get at the compatibility aspect of a long term relationship.

So pick up lets a guy just never invest, never compromise, he can just swap out the old chick for a new one.
It's a bit more complicated than I'm making it, but before pick up - every Girlfriend was "The One" - and I had to do any and everything in my power to keep her happy.

The thing is that a lot of "paper stats" are fungible.

The thing that you're looking for - compatibility is not fungible.

Let me be crystal clear - girls like to hear me talk, they like what I have to say, be it funny or provocative.

But I want a girl that I like to talk to, that I want to hear from, that has interesting insight. That our conversations are mutual.

I can't predict that on paper.

Indeed, I remember YaReally writing about what type of girl he thought he would like to be with long term. Demure cute Asian girl. After dealing with a few, he said he realized that girl was not actually his type. Assuming that the moe character didn't turn into a tsundere - sweet girl turning into a crazy asian GF - he dealt with what he thought was his type and found it lacking. It didn't really feed whatever it is he was trying to feed. (there's prolly some psychology about the brain can't truly comprehend itself, but this response is already convoluted as it is)

2) Then you can compromise

Plenty of hardcore PUAs that can replace chicks willy nilly do end finding girls that they can't easily replace - because the thing that they're trying to replace is not something that's easy to spot or replicate.

So you end up compromising with the chick - because she's got something that you want but also something you can't easily replace.

The thing about compromising, adopting her frame - is that because women are they way they are - you turning from the immovable oak tree to swaying bamboo - can change how she behaves in the future towards you.

It's one thing if you compromise because you can't get another girl, it's another thing when you can't get this specific girl.

Pick Up always attracts guys that have a "one special girl" problem aka oneitis.

And the official community response is either
1) She's not that special bro...
2) You have to keep running game every minute of the relationship in order to keep her the way that you want her to be...

Both of those options are unsatisfying to say the least.

So you end up compromising, keeping the peace.

Of course you can "communicate" - aka try to blue pill the situation - but as any man in a relationship knows - trying to "communicate" about emotional or relationship issues, is walking into a gun fight with a paper clip.

She will do you wrong. You will get mad. She will get sad and cry about your reaction to being wronged by her, and you end up being the victim twice. She did something wrong, but you're the problem. (for those wondering how to get out of this quagmire - the answer to this conundrum, is 1) "bitch I'm leaving" 2) actually leaving)

You can't "reason" with "emotion".

You can however "emotion" with "emotion" - and a lot of the guys that have chicks wrapped around their fingers - are super emotional by nature.

I'm not even sure if being truly emotional is something every man can do, can change into.

A lot of those toxic bros that make pretty girls cry - I just can't be that type of guy, even though psychogically its more powerful than whatever I do.

3) Managing the relationship

Predicting issues, acting ahead of time, so as to keep the chick in the "position" that you want her to be in.

You've seen mothers be helicopter parents for kids - well this is the boyfriend/husband being the helicopter parent for his girlfriend/wife.

You know what she needs
You know what her moods are
You know what her triggers are

So you're constantly trying to manage the relationship.

It's not even that the girl is some sort of tyrant, but rather, you'd just rather not hear her complain about something.

You want the girl in your life, but you also want peace.

Being on top of this, especially in this day and age - why even bother?

But like you said above, running through chicks, juggling a harem, - it becomes a burden more than a bonus.

............

So my impression of what I think you're looking for, mirrored my own journey. And I found "the one" like 4 or 5 times. They were very compatible beyond the paper stats.

So I locked them down, hung up the jersey, and was trying to move towards something more permanent - but even though I think I'd say guys don't change that much, chicks switch up - change is kinda their thing.

None of this is to bring you down, or pour water on your plans - but rather cold approach (day or night), passport game, dating apps and social media, social circle - whatever path guys choose - girls will come into their lives.

You'll have as much sex with as many attractive women as you put in the work for.

Some of them will have everything you need on paper - but that deeper compatibility - whatever you think will make you happy - it really doesn't reveal itself easily - and whether or not it stays - is not up to you. Arguably, it's not even up to her.

 

[DoWhatWorks]

Thanks for managing my expectations @West_Indian_Archie - could easily become disillusioned after seeing "success"

Some of them will have everything you need on paper - but that deeper compatibility - whatever you think will make you happy - it really doesn't reveal itself easily - and whether or not it stays - is not up to you. Arguably, it's not even up to her.

^^^ had to re-read this a couple times... My conclusion was it's actually "freeing"

Going to max out this:

You'll have as much sex with as many attractive women as you put in the work for.

& enjoy this:

Some of them will have everything you need on paper

and let the cards fall where they fall for everything else.

Reminded me of a post I was tempted to write in the advanced section. I don't think true compatibility can be made only uncovered. The feeling of chemistry can be "made" with game but true compatibility I don't think so and this supports that.

Will write it when I have far more experience than I do now.

 

[JollyRoger]

Very interesting thread. I also like to consider how all my activities work together in a sustainable way.

Cold approach in bars and clubs had its time and place when I was first starting out but for me it was a bucket with a hole in it. No matter how much water I poured in it never filled up. No long lasting social connections, no career or business opportunities.

So after that initial burst of night game I dedicated myself to my artistry (which has a social component) thinking that I would naturally meet my kind of people. While I made many friends, 90% of the attractive women seemed to already be in relationships, most often with men that had nothing to do with the art. And I realised that I was in quite an insular world that women over the age of 25 don't often stray into accidentally. Only when you gain a following does your net start to cast a wide reach and I'm not there yet.

So I've decided to add day game back into the mix as a source of new leads. But I've found an angle that is sustainable and contributes something to my life other than flaky numbers and thousands of steps.

While evening events in galleries, museums, select bars and classes/activities are appealing I'm weary that they won't provide me with a sufficient turnover of the kind of women I like. Maybe it's time to go back to dance classes?

 

[DoWhatWorks]

Overwhelming majority of men in the history of our time on this planet didn’t marry their 10 out of 10 with compatible personalities. That didn’t stop them from having kids with that girl and then staying together for many years.

Re-read your comment. I spend most my life intentionally doing the opposite of "majority men" god forbid....

I understand there's trade-offs though, I don't like using numbers but to your analogy I'm shooting for 8/10 across the board.

Maybe I’ll run into that unicorn someday, but until then, don’t think it’s something you should spend your waking life thinking about.

This is where we have a difference in opinion. Nothing I've achieved worth mentioning happened without thought.

But I sleep with them anyway because I like their face and bodies. Which deep down I feel is the same reason they are with me.

Assortative mating in action. You focus on looks above all else, so shock horror you attract the same in women.

And I realised that I was in quite an insular world that women over the age of 25 don't often stray into accidentally

Where is this world? Asking for a friend...

So I've decided to add day game back into the mix as a source of new leads. But I've found an angle that is sustainable and contributes something to my life other than flaky numbers and thousands of steps.

While evening events in galleries, museums, select bars and classes/activities are appealing I'm weary that they won't provide me with a sufficient turnover of the kind of women I like. Maybe it's time to go back to dance classes?

All of this is a journey. The guys I know who're competent at this, all spent a period of time "sucking" where nothing clicked until it did. Truth is no one has the answers for *you*. You can get inspiration and ideas but ultimately have to figure it out yourself.

But I want a girl that I like to talk to, that I want to hear from, that has interesting insight. That our conversations are mutual.

I can't predict that on paper.

Bringing this back up as a thought came to mind... Surely you can predict that on paper or at least increase the odds?

Assume you'd have already tried this but my mind would say simply go to more intellectual seminars, salons, meet ups and talk to the most attractive girl(s) there and see if she's interesting. Also daygame near campus' of masters/PHD students...

Silver bullet? Of course not but would tilt the % in your favour...

I don't expect this new approach to make everything easy for finding compatibility simply increase the frequency.