abundance -> absolute abundance blueprint

[DoWhatWorks]

Background​

Spoiler: Summary of story so far

I googled how to get girls at 13 and the rest is history. Was always friendly and likeable but leaned too nice guy. Couple optimizations and years later, I went from friend zones to keeping girls in FB zones. Now in a nice position to where I can reliably get laid when I decide to and have done across all games: day, night, social circle, online etc.

Something was missing​

Took a hiatus to focus on other things and couldn't articulate it but something was missing. New lays weren't as fun... FBs were simply annoying, I got bored of it all. Tried more out-there experiences, going outside my comfort zone but nothing really hit.

Missing Piece​

Realized after a lot of meandering vents (thanks to those of you who listened and helped... you know who you are), self-reflection, and chat GPT conversations (wish I was joking) I uncovered that lays with pretty girls didn't do it for me anymore. I wanted to more consistently date girls who were attractive AND very compatible personality-wise. It had happened before but I felt like I had no control and

the whole "sleep with loads of girls and let the numbers work out" seemed a half-truth. Volume matters, but you need to fish in the right waters.

From my experience offline > online and daygame > nightgame.

Things I've Tried (and Why They Didn't Work)​

• Screening harder early on: Doesn't work. Comes across too serious / boyfriend-like. Better to stay playful and non-judgmental and let the right girls float to the top. Otherwise, girls start shape-shifting into what they think you want.
• 
  
• Cold approach hard: Gets exhausting a lot of pure daygame guys I know do it in blitz, very few sustain it indefinitely and it's because it's taxing. Nightgame's a little better due to volume (when you select good venues) but for me wastes time even without drinking due to tiredness

What I Want to Avoid​

• Being 50 and still in a club. No disrespect to man like Skills who I've learnt a lot from and cleans up, but I'm already getting tired of it before 30 so that can't be my story
• Being 40+ and pounding pavements to hit on strangers as my sole way of meeting women... God forbid
• Online dating: I've seen the shift from purple hair, to hairy armpits, to now "spicy neurodivergent" — no fucking thank you. Decent girls are on apps but are harder and harder to find.
• Social circle: Red pill oversells this as a silver bullet. There's politics, limited pools, and not enough volume.

My Solution So Far (W.I.P)​

• Cold Approach: Unavoidable but less spam focused and more embedded into my lifestyle. Working from cafes 2-3x a week with minimum approach numbers during breaks. Having no girl bites when you're walking from cafe to cafe on your lunch break is chill but Saturday afternoon when that's my sole reason to be out? Pisses me off. Would rather be working, with friends, enjoying a hobby etc etc.

• Targeted Nightgame: Selective. Art gallery events open until 10pm, hotel rooftop parties closed by midnight. Interesting international crowds. I tried brunches as a potential solution but the girls there felt too basic for me unfortunately. Not a long-term compatibility fix.

• Different Group Events: Go to group events I genuinely enjoy and become a top guy within them. Warm intros and inbound that takes the edge off pure outbound cold approach. Also likely to get girls you're compatible with due to the pre-filter of shared interests. This is a key part of what makes the cold-approach side of things sustainable and life more enjoyable in general.

Cold approach brings sustainable volume and variety. Having several different groups brings me more consistent compatibility and prevents me burning any one group to the ground.

Group Event Types​

Definition: Group events are environments where there’s a substantial amount of women I can talk to with little effort i

Different types:

• Physical Events: hiking groups, rock climbing, infamous running clubs, yoga, sports, dance classes etc.
• Artsy Events: Painting, drawing, pottery, crochet, cooking classes there's actually a lot here that I was unaware of before,
• Intellectual Events: Book clubs, chess clubs (you'd be surprised), supper clubs, wine clubs, business networking etc.
• Third Spaces: Venues and areas where people go to chill, study, socialize e.g. [redacted not giving away my hard earned secrets], cafes in galleries, hotel lobbies, parks, food markets, vintage clothing markets

The hardest is finding the events/venues that have the cross section of:

1/3 things I'm genuinely interested in

2/3 high volume/turnover so I can sniper without building a rep

3/3 environments that naturally encourage interaction.


It's been a lot of research/trial and error but feel like I'm slowly but surely buiding up my personalized shortlist. TikTok is by far the best thing I've found for this, with Instagram and eventbrite distant 2nd and 3rd

Why This Makes Sense For Me​

This approach is very scalable. I could be 60 in Cannes partying at a rooftop restaurant in Cannes or a Yacht if I really wanted to. Same for hiking, cycling trips or Yoga retreats. Clubbing until 4am in a sweaty club or approaching girls in Oxford Street as my only ways to meet girls? I'd lose my mind.

I also know myself, when my social life is active and filled with things I can't wait to attend, my cold approaches are effortless, more enjoyable and I'm more magnetic which means I'd get good results with lower volume too. The better sleeping pattern gives me more longevity as well.

Closing Thoughts & Understanding your type quicker​

This is DWW's existing plan for absolute abundance, not yours. This is a work in progress and will probably evolve. Thought I'd share because I think this topic is disgustingly under-discussed.

Would love to hear from @MuST0BtA1NSkR1Lla and @Chad Tyrone @West_Indian_Archie as they're the few guys I've seen touch on the lifestyle side of embedding game.

Lastly A big part of my event groups and even targeted nightgame is based on me having a very clear idea of the girls I like. What helped me save months (possibly years) was

• Completing OCEAN personality Profile
• Completing Myers Briggs personality Profile
• Completing Enneagram personality Profile
• Star signs (if you're into that, I went from lowkey to shamelessly being into it)

Inputting all my results to chat gpt and asking it who I'm most compatible with. Shout out @topcat who put me on this. The results shocked me. It gave me profiles of very compatible girls in the past... Anyway ask it where these girls hang out in your city, what they get up to and you'll be able to build your own version of this if you want to.

Although to be honest if you don't have at least 20 lays then this whole exercise is mental masturbation and you just need to get your reps up.

Hope this helps someone, would have loved a thread like this 6 months ago

Onwards and Upwards x

 

[TomInHo]

Hmmmm this is really interesting

But I have to ask you... what type of girl are you actually attracted to?

I see you’ve got a lot of tactics laid out, and clearly a lot of experience

But when you look back at the women you actually had emotional connections with... what things did they really have in common?

Because it doesn’t sound like you’re just trying to rack up more lays anymore. It sounds like you’re more focused on meeting women you connect with emotionally more often

And I think the clearer you are about what you’re actually attracted to, the easier it becomes to design your life around attracting more of it

The personality test stuff was interesting too. But honestly, why not trust your own experience over theory about what you “should” like?

 

[Skills]

I think you should look for your path, and try different paths to see what is best for dww.... For me i tried all the stuff you talk about out, and field tested.... Unfortunately, i did not like it, and it was not for me nor do i envy any dude i know from my gen....

Everyone should try different paths and lifestyles and field test.... I love my lifestyle, after trying different ones..... And don't envy any other lifestyles...

field test and keep us updated..... But ultimately focus on what you want and makes DWW happy vs what other people are doing or want....

 

[Chase]

@DoWhatWorks,

Do you ever experience love at first sight? You know, the whole "wow OMG that girl; I must have her" lightning bolt out of nowhere?

I had a student (used to post here back in the day... @Laowai) who had a similar issue to yours. We'd go out, he'd meet girls, pick them up, shag, then the next time we'd talk he'd say, "That girl was nice but she just didn't do it for me," then, "This other girl was nice but didn't do it for me either," etc. etc. Other times we'd meet up, he'd flip through photos of all his lays since the last time we met, plenty of very attractive girls, but "none of them did it for him."

I asked him if he ever had love at first sight and he said he didn't think he ever had.

Hadn't even been in-love since he broke up with his first girlfriend a decade ago.

I wrote this article series at his request:

Falling in Love, Part I: How to Quit Fearing Romance

This one’s Part I of a 2-part special request for an old student of mine from Denmark. We had the opportunity to catch up, about a week ago, after not having spoken in a while. One of the things we discussed was love at first sight; in particular, how frequently we experience it and whether it’s...

www.girlschase.com

Falling in Love, Part II: Finding Love at First Sight

This is Part II of a 2-part series on reaching the point where you feel comfortable feeling emotion for women. You can read Part I, on ending your own fear of romance, here. In this article, we’ll discuss how to experience love at first sight... regularly. How can you train yourself to spot...

www.girlschase.com

LAFS is basically the "easy" way to find supremely compatible girls. At least IME.

I just interviewed @Devilicious yesterday and we talked about it a bit. He's had some LAFS lays and had amazing connections/relationships with those girls as well.

When LAFS is present, generally the "finding compatible girls" thing is straightforward.

When it's not it seems like it's like looking for needles in haystacks, if you ask me.

Chase

 

[DoWhatWorks]

The personality test stuff was interesting too. But honestly, why not trust your own experience over theory about what you “should” like?

interestingly the girls I liked the most based on real life experience had 90% overlap with the theory:

Inputting all my results to chat gpt and asking it who I'm most compatible with. Shout out @topcat who put me on this. The results shocked me. It gave me profiles of very compatible girls in the past...

The reason why that's important to understand the theory (IMO) is because if you understand why things click you have more control on how re-create them. Whereas if you just depend on experience you're unconsciously competent and never consciously competent.

But when you look back at the women you actually had emotional connections with... what things did they really have in common?

Didn’t want to make the thread too long but mostly (NF) types in Myers Briggs: INFJ, ENFJ, almost exclusively.

This was consistent across a decade based on my real experience and girls from very different backgrounds.

You're right to emphasize Real world experience though as in theory I should click with ENFP but in practice these types don't do it for me long-term romantically. INFP works too but need more volume, I've had a couple (S) type girls who in practice worked out but in theory not meant to mesh but with those types long term I spotted gaps in them being more day to day and not getting my abstract way of looking at the world.

The girl I like is very nuanced and most guys would overlook her as being boring on the surface. Dresses classical and in trend without overly trendy, intelligent (one of the few attractive girls in her profession or education) whether that be engineering, or masters yet still has a creative touch to her E.g. photography, drawing, fashion, just as comfortable travelling solo as she is with close knit friends and would rather go to a gallery then a bar but can do both. May works as a UX designer, does Yoga & sells hand painted ceramics on Etsy.

Independent to a fault but melts for the right guy. Submissive with good frame but testyyyy if you slip.

I could go on and on lol but I’m very clear now. Also stastically my favourite type INFJ makes up 1-2% of the population which again backs up why I don't run into them often.

I know this forum dismisses theory and planning as overthinking but my contrarian view is a little thinking (in combination of plenty of action) leads to way better repeatable results.

field test and keep us updated..... But ultimately focus on what you want and makes DWW happy vs what other people are doing or want....

100% agree. I approach life this way in general. Will keep everyone updated.

I think it’s rarer for someone to document this part of the journey so filling the gap.

Most guys work it out in private or just compromise in a major way.

We also have a forum that’s filled with people who figured this out so long ago they can’t relate to it and new/intermediates so very few people at this stage right now.

Do you ever experience love at first sight? You know, the whole "wow OMG that girl; I must have her" lightning bolt out of nowhere?

This is the kind of insight of why I share this. Forgot about it, yes and when it does go well they become LTRs who stay in my life at least a couple of years.

First LAFS was from my breakthrough GF who was INFJ and I remember thinking how comparatively “easy” things were. She naturally did and acted 90% in the way I like. Very assortative mating because she even commented how I was "easy" too.

Very weird but only person I looked at and with full 100% confidence knew she'd become my GF. Not "try" I just "knew".

Second LAFS was an amazing MLTR who I've written about here before but who unfortunately I got bored of 3 years in.

Been getting it way less in recent years but I think while racking up lays I re-wired my brain to focus on “highest probability play” vs who gets me excited with no other variables. So will open up myself to that.

Also with more experience it just takes a lot more for girls to excite me. If I see a girl I really like I just logically break down what she’s done to her hair, outfit & make up almost like I see past the veil and "illusion" of this amazing girl.

Still a mindset shift I can make though, I probably get it more frequently based on energy vs looks alone.

Will check out @Laowai ‘s stuff as sounds he was in a similar boat and figured it out. Don’t think I’ve seen that yet.

 

[Chase]

@DoWhatWorks,

Very weird but only person I looked at and with full 100% confidence knew she'd become my GF. Not "try" I just "knew".

Yeah, I know what you're talking about.

It's like LAFS on steroids. Not just "gotta have that girl" but "I will have that girl."

I'm a believer in fate/destiny/etc. so can easily resolve that down to "well it was just in my life script and somehow a bit of it leaked through and I glimpsed it."

But if I wasn't I'd probably just chalk it up to ultra resolve; want something bad enough, and there's a fair chance you can will it into being.

Second LAFS was an amazing MLTR who I've written about here before but who unfortunately I got bored of 3 years in.

That can happen.

Not every girl is equipped to keep up with / keep challenging you when you're going places.

Been getting it way less in recent years but I think while racking up lays I re-wired my brain to focus on “highest probability play” vs who gets me excited with no other variables.

Yes. They're two different systems.

I would say IME it depends to a degree on what energy you're putting out.

When you put out a lot of "I'm a stud, looking to fuck now" energy, it's detectable... in your walk, eye contact, expressions, other body language. Girls on the same wavelength see it, signal, you pick those signals up subconsciously, then feel drawn toward them.

LAFS energy is more "I'm looking for an incredible girl I connect with on every level." That's when you start attracting more of those girls who are incredible and looking for a high level guy who is equipped to appreciate that.

You can run both systems at once. But "incredible girl" has to take precedence. No horny girl is going to turn you down because "he's looking for an incredible girl first, but he's a stud and he's picking up on my DTF signs." But incredible girls who pick up that your top level vibe is "let's fuck" just get turned off.

Might be what's happening with you lately.

Also with more experience it just takes a lot more for girls to excite me. If I see a girl I really like I just logically break down what she’s done to her hair, outfit & make up almost like I see past the veil and "illusion" of this amazing girl.

Still a mindset shift I can make though, I probably get it more frequently based on energy vs looks alone.

The looks part is kind of irrelevant to love at first sight, IMO.

Every girl you get LAFS for passes your looks threshold with flying colors.

Well, ALMOST every one... occasionally I'll get the ones where I'm like "This girl is not classically good-looking but I am incredibly attracted to her for some indefinable reason."

Most girls are wearing hair, makeup, fancy clothes, etc.

Good to look past that but with LAFS you're mostly focused on that magnetism you feel toward her.

Will check out @Laowai ‘s stuff as sounds he was in a similar boat and figured it out. Don’t think I’ve seen that yet.

He's got some stuff on the forum, but I'm pretty sure all our conversations about LAFS came over email or in person. So likely not too much on that here.

I think last we talked he had a girlfriend he was pretty into. So it did seem like he finally cleared that hurdle.

Gotta touch bases with him... there's a lot of folks I need to check back in on...!

Chase

 

[Spike]

You can run both systems at once. But "incredible girl" has to take precedence. No horny girl is going to turn you down because "he's looking for an incredible girl first, but he's a stud and he's picking up on my DTF signs." But incredible girls who pick up that your top level vibe is "let's fuck" just get turned off.

Regular approach excitement is kind of like, "Oh nice, there's a cutie I can talk to! She's got a mean walk!"

Love at first sight is like, "Holy Mother of God, there goes the future mother of my babies." You just feel it in your bones.

Yeah the 7 who may turn out to share a lot of things in common with you and have a compatible personality Vs the 10 who’s just hot.

The 10 is the one who will instantly hit that “I want to get her pregnant right now” feeling.

I’ve slept with both these types (while I was in a “looking for a girl to fuck” headspace) and I say that it doesn’t really matter.

you will eventually cheat on the 7 because you’ll still have that deep down resentment that you know you could do better. Even if she’s a really great girl.

And that 10, who really triggered some primal “I have to have that girl” feeling inside of you, you’ll eventually get annoyed/bored of because you guys personalities aren’t a match. Or she just sucks in bed.

I don’t want to say who this person is because I think his girl reads this forum, but I remember him telling me about this girl who was his exact type. Looks and personality wise. Fast forward a couple years later. And now he’s bored of her. And kind of trapped himself into having to be with her for the time being.

Obviously of course the ideal is to get with the 10 whose personality matches yours. Which I’ve not yet met.

The girls I’m sleeping with, really our personalities are nothing alike. But I sleep with them anyway because I like their face and bodies. Which deep down I feel is the same reason they are with me. Maybe I’ll run into that unicorn someday, but until then, don’t think it’s something you should spend your waking life thinking about.

Overwhelming majority of men in the history of our time on this planet didn’t marry their 10 out of 10 with compatible personalities. That didn’t stop them from having kids with that girl and then staying together for many years.

There’s no ball and chain around your ankle preventing you from hopping off the pussy carousel. If you want kids, just do it. Or you’re still not really ready for that next stage in life and all this is really just procrastinating. Which is fine too. A lot of us here aren’t ready to make that leap of faith just yet. This game is afterall very addicting

 

[DoWhatWorks]

Guys, can we keep this is on topic?

This is a mess lol

Respectfully, if you’re below 20 lays this post isn’t for you. I’m trying to document the journey for people who’re or will be in a similar position.

 

[Will_V]

Guys, can we keep this is on topic?

This is a mess lol

Respectfully, if you’re below 20 lays this post isn’t for you. I’m trying to document the journey for people who’re or will be in a similar position.

I've split off tangential stuff about LAFS here.

 

[TomInHo]

Guys, can we keep this is on topic?

This is a mess lol

Respectfully, if you’re below 20 lays this post isn’t for you. I’m trying to document the journey for people who’re or will be in a similar position.

Ye, I'm curious to see how this plays out for you

What you're doing reminds me of how you'd find qualified leads in business. You figure out where your ideal clients(or in this case, women) spend their time and you show up in those environments

It's strategic and increases your chances of meeting your ideal girls more often rather than using "hope" as a strategy

You'll probably also end up tweaking your front-end game too overtime with this approach

You will come up with your own unique ways to communicate to them you're "one of them" whether through style, sub comms and even choice of words

Because that "in-tribe" effect can make the seduction process enjoyable for both of you

Also reminds me of something an older poster , Colt Williams once wrote in an article

And it’s funny, when I first started reading Girls Chase and other seduction sites, I would stumble upon articles every once in a while that talked about guys having a specific kind of girl that they specialized in. Some guys were really good with Asian girls; some guys were really good with actresses; some guys were really good with driven business women. And I would always think to myself, “If you have the skill to get almost any girl, why would you focus on only one particular kind? Why would you not just get as many as you possibly can and really push your limits as often as you can?”

But now after a few years in the game, I fully realize why guys tend to hone in on a specific niche. After you’ve slept with enough girls, you realize that there are many types of girls who simply do not float your boat. Just like being a business owner, 98% of the people you encounter are not going to be people who you actually want to buy your product. So rather than trying to cater to them and “win them all over”, you should just focus on the 2% who do want your product.

I think most seasoned seducer realize this at some point

After a while you get a clearer idea of what turns you on beyond just tits and ass

You get pickier

Some people cry about it and say "Oh no, my ideal is so rare". I better not fuck it up whenever I do run into her

While other see it as a blessing and start thinking strategically about how to increase the odds of meeting more of those types

Yes, your type is less common but they are not truly RARE

I'm also in a similar phase as you

But probably a bit more laidback about it

When I meet a girl, I assess whether we’re compatible. I listen for stuff that mentally turns me on

If she passes that filter, great. I just keep seeing her

If she doesn’t but she’s hot, cool, I’ll still enjoy the lay. Sex is still fun but I may not keep them in rotation or stress about retention too much

But over time I’ve noticed: I tend to meet girls I’m really into when I’m doing things I genuinely enjoy

Or when I tweak my OLD profile to be attractive to my ideal type

Anyways, looking forward seeing more updates with your new approach

 

[Skills]

dww, i don't know if they have this in England https://www.lifetime.life/locations/fl/palm-beach-gardens.html

-is like a social club $300 a month, they have gym, through events, parties etc...... like social circle...

-There are also adult sports leagues (co-ed) you mentioned sports

- there is also seeking arrangement online, now that you got more money, and you do bait and switch.... (seduce and get it free)

 

[Spike]

You figure out where your ideal clients(or in this case, women) spend their time and you show up in those environments

tweak my OLD profile to be attractive to my ideal type

But when I talk about this I’m a troll who repeats himself and gives unpractical advice…

 

[Skills]

Ye, I'm curious to see how this plays out for you

What you're doing reminds me of how you'd find qualified leads in business. You figure out where your ideal clients(or in this case, women) spend their time and you show up in those environments

It's strategic and increases your chances of meeting your ideal girls more often rather than using "hope" as a strategy

You'll probably also end up tweaking your front-end game too overtime with this approach

You will come up with your own unique ways to communicate to them you're "one of them" whether through style, sub comms and even choice of words

Because that "in-tribe" effect can make the seduction process enjoyable for both of you

Also reminds me of something an older poster , Colt Williams once wrote in an article



I think most seasoned seducer realize this at some point

After a while you get a clearer idea of what turns you on beyond just tits and ass

You get pickier

Some people cry about it and say "Oh no, my ideal is so rare". I better not fuck it up whenever I do run into her

While other see it as a blessing and start thinking strategically about how to increase the odds of meeting more of those types

Yes, your type is less common but they are not truly RARE

I'm also in a similar phase as you

But probably a bit more laidback about it

When I meet a girl, I assess whether we’re compatible. I listen for stuff that mentally turns me on

If she passes that filter, great. I just keep seeing her

If she doesn’t but she’s hot, cool, I’ll still enjoy the lay. Sex is still fun but I may not keep them in rotation or stress about retention too much


But over time I’ve noticed: I tend to meet girls I’m really into when I’m doing things I genuinely enjoy

Or when I tweak my OLD profile to be attractive to my ideal type

Anyways, looking forward seeing more updates with your new approach

yeah i don't understand the whole thing, there are really not short cuts....

- you sleep with and date a lot of women (and yes a lot of work and you get tired/bored or both)
- one you will get onitis on from the first meet ( or what they are calling love at first sight, no offense mental gymnastic is onitis), i guess is not onitis cause technically you get laid, and you are not obsessed, i just call it onits that love at first sight a bit cringe for me.. but i guess is semantics
-you seduce her and dump the other ones you pair bond get all exited
-eventually you get bored or she does
- break up
- sadness
-rinse wash repeat....

i don't care if she is a 10 or a 7 you will get bored equally of both (coolidge)

i guess i don't get this whole post... @DoWhatWorks are you sure you are not right now in a bit of low momentum, since you have been rusty...(you can be getting laid and have fbs and be in low momentum), This type of existential post happens post low momentum from biz break, or break up....

Anyways, i am telling you this, cause i had this type of posts and i seen other guys do the same, usually post break ups, or post game breaks....

As i said, we are all fucked if you ask me, being a seducers is the biggest blessing and the biggest curse there is, but that is my opinion...

Lets say you succeed in your strategy, and you get that girl and then you break up, you are pretty much done in the setting (which is why i hate social circle light or social circles)...