Alex journal

[alexlaguma]

Yes boys. Decided to start writing a journal here after reading some of yours and feeling quite inspired. I've recently been posting field reports each time I've run a bit of day game, but from now on I'll post in here.

I massively welcome any feedback/commentary as I try to get this stuff mastered. I will of course be commenting and providing support on others journals also.

So, where am I at? I decided to get back into the field a few weeks ago. I am in my mid 30s. I spent 7 years in a LTR, nearly got married, and then came out of that. I spent about 3 years bouncing around dating apps, having a bit of success here and there, but always felt like I was swimming against the tide. I felt like I was fighting to get girls to come on dates with me. Every now and then it would happen, but it was just such a low hit rate of matches to dates it felt like a complete waste of time. I was still laying I'd say average 10 girls a year, some from apps / some from social circle game. But it just wasn't great. And what is frustrating is that people in my social circle, work etc think I'm like this massive player ... all my mates who are in relationships think I'm constantly dating. But I try to explain its actually hard out here !!

So anyway ... I got inspired to get back into day game, and I forced myself to approach 5 girls in a day a few weeks ago. I wanted to post a FR, so came online and found this website. Ever since then I've been reading Chase' articles and getting inspired, and I've been forcing myself to go out day gaming a few times since. I should say ... I was into game like 15 years ago when I was like 20 years old. But I never took it seriously. I just used to read a bit and try to incorporate it into my day-to-day life. This is the first time I've got serious about it.

So ... I started approaching a few weeks back, and had some decent success on my first couple of outings. I picked up a few numbers (my field reports are in the FR forum). Got my first lay from day game last week ... pretty straight forward. Got her number, first date a few days later, second date = lay. That was good and she could be converted into a FB.

What I've also noticed is that since I started approaching and developed social momentum, I've started to pick up a lot more interest in my normal life. I layed a super hot girl at a wedding last week, I think because I've got that momentum / confidence ... and after a couple hours chatting I was just willing to put on the "do you wanna come back to mine?" whereas previously I would've tip-toed around it for hours and settled for a number close.

Anyway ... what I'm really keen to do is try to build approaching into my day to day life. I have a busy office job so getting out to approach on week days isn't really possible, BUT I do commute and see girls quite often, so i want to build the confidence into my day to day life to always be on. I've been reading Chase articles and @DoWhatWorks posts and he talks about that a bit.

On that note ... today I was in the office and I had two big successes. Number one ... there is a girl at work I've had my eye on for a while but never spoke to. Always been keen but never knew how to approach it. Anyway, Chase commented on one of my FR's the other day and suggested i switch up my approach and go with a genuine compliment (rather than my usual direct 'i thought you were hot so wanted to say hello'). So I noticed she had on a really bright top (bright for the office anyway) and just walked straight over to her, tapped her on the shoulder and said "i just wanted to say I love your top, you're really brightening up the office". She LOVED it ... and we chatted. Ended up going for coffee. I asked if she was single, she said yes, I took her number. Lovely stuff.

And THEN ... on the way home this evening. I had to change trains and the platform was chaos, because there was delays. Everyone was looking at the signs to see what was going on. I noticed a hot girl looking at the sign, I walked over, made eye contact with her. And then I said something along the lines of "are you trying to get to XX as well?". She said "no .. I'm actually trying to get to XX, but do you know what is going on with the delays?". I took the follow up question as being a sign she was interested (I was right). Then I went with Chase' suggestion, and I said "by the way, I think your earrings are amazing" (they actually were cool) and she loved that. We chatted for a few mins, I asked where she was from etc. Then I said "are you single?" and number closed. Perfect ...

So two numbers today ... and I have a fairly busy phone at the moment with numbers from the past few weeks. I'm keen to keep building social momentum. As dowhatworks says ... its all about pinging. I just need to keep pinging as many girls as possible and testing the water, and I'll keep getting options through that. This stuff is SO MUCH BETTER than dating apps. Honestly I wasted 3 years on them. Its like fighting tooth and nail to get them to go on a date with you, whilst trying to pretend that you are not fighting. It was such hard work. Wish I had decided to get into cold approach years ago.

Anyway - thanks for reading ... appreciate you guys!

 

[Casanova Newhouse]

Well done brother! You are crushing it. I live in a small town and am finding that day game is more challenging, just because there's no scale. I am finding your frustrations with online game as well. So it's fun to imagine how it might be in a larger city.

 

[alexlaguma]

Quick update from me boys. I am on an absolute TEAR at the moment with approaching. I feel fully locked in and confident ... if I see a girl I want to approach I'm confident that more often than not I've got the confidence to go and do it.

Yesterday I was in the office and went for a little walk around mid-morning. This was partly due to my recent desire to try and increase opportunities for serendipity. Previously I would've grabbed a coffee in my office canteen, but these days I'm thinking why do that when I can take a 20 minute stroll and potentially see hot girls to approach. So I took a stroll, bought a coffee and walked back to my office. Just as I was about to walk into my office I noticed a girl at the bus-stop right outside. She was my type, hot girl in gym clothes. She had her airpods in. For a moment my mind created all these reasons why I shouldn't approach (eg; what if someone from the office sees me). But I thought fck that, I'm doing it. Went straight over to her, tapped on the shoulder, delivered a really nice relaxed opener. My new style is to follow Chase' advice and deliver a really genuine compliment, and that's exactly what I did. It worked brilliantly, she was really into it, and then I stayed chatting for a few mins before getting her number. We have been texting since.

Then today I went to an outdoor swimming pool with 2 of my friends from work (a guy and a girl). As we were there chilling a girl walked past who was EXACTLY my type, even my friends said she is right up your street. So I thought I HAVE to approach her. It was one of those where I was kind of talking myself out of it because she was swimming, there wasn't a perfect opportunity. But then she got out the pool and walked right behind us. My friend said this is your chance, and I didn't even hesitate for a second, just jumped up, walked alongside her and delivered my line. I kind of butchered it this time because it was awkward surroundings and I didn't have a "genuine" compliment ready ... but anyway she still chatted for a bit and gave me her number.

And THEN I left the swimming pool and walked through the park, and as I entered the park a super hot blonde came a walked alongside me. My mind started creating some bullshit excuse like I've already got a number today maybe I should leave it. But I thought fck that, I am going in. I waited for her to catch up with me ... and then delivered probably my best approach in ages. I was super relaxed, took my time, just gave a really genuine compliment on her style. She absolutely loved it, said she has never had a nice approach like that. Chatted for a bit, got her number.

Boys I feel like I'm flying .... I've had a bunch of numbers in the last few days and my approach is feeling so much more relaxed. Big props to @Chase for his advice on the genuine opener ... it really works a treat and is way better than my old "i just thought you were stunning so wanted to say hello" opener.

Anyway ... next challenge is to try and convert to dates. I already have one on Monday for a girl I met in the supermarket a few weeks ago.

If anyone has any really good links to posts/articles on text game I would be grateful. I did read one recently, might have been by Skills, which talked about the 'soft close' of a date over text. I've been trying to do that and I quite like it ... its better than just going straight to the "shall we go for a drink" which can often just be ignored. But anyway ... if you boys have any advice please link me to it !!

 

[Chase]

Looking awesome, Alex!

I'm happy to see the genuine compliments paying off dividends for you already.

On texting, if @Skills's approach is working for you, keep doing it.

My approach differs from his; but if you want an alternate perspective, a few of my core articles on the subject:

How to Text a Girl in 2022

This guide will show you exactly how to text a girl. Including: Texting a girl examples Copy-paste texting templates Emerging texting trends Must-read resources Lots more If you want to go from novice to 'textpert', this guide is for you. Let's begin. About the Author Chase Amante here. I'm an...

www.girlschase.com

20 Ways to Text a Girl that Make Her Super Attracted

In the article on second dates, Todd comments on a girl he's met and some of the texting they've done between their first date and second, and finishes up with the questions below: “What's the next step? I don't want her to lose interest, but I'm gone for this entire week. We said we'd get...

www.girlschase.com

14 Simple Ways to Text a Girl and Make Her Want You

Don't know how to text a girl you like? Copy these texts and send them to her to get her excited and ready to go out with you. Contents 1. Icebreaker Text 2. Same Day Date Text 3. Next Day Date Text 4. Standard Scheduler Text 5. Proposal Text 6. No Worries Text 7. Scheduler II Text 8. Scheduler...

www.girlschase.com

Keep playing around with compliments and seeing how much fun you can have with 'em!

Chase

 

[alexlaguma]

Yes boys ... thought I'd drop a little update in here as its been a while. This will be useful for me to set out some thoughts, but also grateful for any insight / feedback from you guys.

So my last update was about 2 weeks ago where I got 3 numbers from hot girls within the space of 2 days. My approaching felt very smooth and I was on a roll. For whatever reason, since that day I haven't really done any more solid approaches. I think I've done 2 half-hearted approaches during my commutes, but nothing really significant. I've found it difficult to combine approaches with my schedule. This is about to become much less of a problem because I will now have a period of time where I won't be working, so I can actively focus on being in the right places. I'm taking some guidance from @DoWhatWorks recent post about being more deliberate with where / when you go. In fact tomorrow evening I've scheduled a catch up with a friend at a bottomless brunch type of place, knowing that there will likely be hot girls there.

Anyway, whilst I haven't been able to get many approaches in, I have been able to get quite a few dates in from the pipeline I built from my previous approaches. I need to crunch the numbers (i've got notes saved in my phone) but I think since I started day game approaching about 6 weeks ago I've done something like 18 approaches, got 7 phone numbers, and I've had 4 dates, with 2 lays. Not too bad. BUT ... I've hit a bit of a sticking point. And that is my approach on dates.

The last 2 dates I've had (bus stop girl and the girl from the pool ... read my previous post to see who I'm talking about) have not went very well. Not in the sense that they were terrible dates, just that they didn't go anywhere, and both girls were clear after the date that they weren't interested in anything romantically. I've actually taken this quite hard because I've always prided myself on being brilliant on dates. I pretty much always back myself to be able to push things forward. But these past 2 dates have been shit, and I'm kind of bummed out about it. I'm thinking that I need to invest some time in being better at dating. I've always really focused on the approach element of pickup ... and just assumed that when I get them on a date I know what to do. But this experience has humbled me, and I think I need to actually prepare better. I'm going to read some content on the site to start thinking about what I can do differently.

In terms of the specifics, both dates were just a bit flat. There was an element of me fcking up the logistics, in both occasions we were sitting opposite each other so no opportunity for touch, felt a little 'interview' like. And for whatever reason there wasn't much flirting ... I was more in 'storyteller' mode and making them both laugh, but no flirting / piss-taking / banter. I also think (particularly for the 2nd date) I was aware of how hot she was (and how good a potential gf she could be) so I didn't run my usual game. I don't know if you guys get it, but sometimes when you feel there is more to lose you are less 'free' with your game ... and you don't push things in the way you do when you intrinsically know that the girl is into you already.

Anyway - if you guys have any content / materials I should read about how to get better on the actual date please do share. I know there is some stuff on sex gambits that I've been meaning to get around to reading.

The other thing I need to do is build up my pipeline again. I've managed to get 2 who are FWB's now, and another 2 dates on the way, but beyond that I'm drying up, so next week I'm going to attempt to do 20 approaches during the week. I think that should put me in a good position. Onwards and upwards.

 

[JT Sunshine]

In terms of the specifics, both dates were just a bit flat. There was an element of me fcking up the logistics, in both occasions we were sitting opposite each other so no opportunity for touch, felt a little 'interview' like.

This. My best dates I've always been sitting next to the girl. If you need an excuse, just say "I'm coming over there cause you have to watch this video". Then just stay.

I also think (particularly for the 2nd date) I was aware of how hot she was (and how good a potential gf she could be) so I didn't run my usual game. I don't know if you guys get it, but sometimes when you feel there is more to lose you are less 'free' with your game ... and you don't push things in the way you do when you intrinsically know that the girl is into you already.

Same. It's like I think "she's extra hot, so I need to play this one differently and better" and end up coming off super awkward/incongruent.

The other thing I need to do is build up my pipeline again. I've managed to get 2 who are FWB's now, and another 2 dates on the way, but beyond that I'm drying up, so next week I'm going to attempt to do 20 approaches during the week. I think that should put me in a good position. Onwards and upwards.

The way your approaches seem to go, that should put you in a great position!