An Approach A Day Keeps AA at Bay

[Social_Artist91]

I am starting this journal here with a lot of humility. I saw a few people doing daily approach challenges, got excited and created a challenge of my own. It was to give 3 compliments everyday.

The challenge beat me already and I have realized that as a beginner, this is wayyy harder than I thought. So for now, I won't dive into any challenges. I will just write down my experiences here and the name of the journal is kind of a message to myself to remind myself that I should do at least 1 interaction everyday.

So today I did go out and stop a girl and ask for directions. I realize that maybe I need to start there, at the simplest step. So I will endeavour to take even the smallest and humblest of steps in the right direction everyday.

 

[KJ Francis]

Have you seen the newbie assignment?

Newbie Assignment

Introduction If you're brand new to the idea of approaching getting better with women and dating as a skill set, not to worry - most people in most parts of the world don't think of it that way yet, either. The great news is, anything can be learned as a skill - be that thing painting, writing...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[Social_Artist91]

Have you seen the newbie assignment?

Newbie Assignment

Introduction If you're brand new to the idea of approaching getting better with women and dating as a skill set, not to worry - most people in most parts of the world don't think of it that way yet, either. The great news is, anything can be learned as a skill - be that thing painting, writing...

www.skilledseducer.com

Yes I have seen it. My problem starts when it comes down to the tasks when showing any kind of intent is required. That is why I am attempting compliments. So that it forces me to show intent.

 

[Social_Artist91]

6 December 2024

Today was a lucky day. Went out and approached a girl at the tram stop. She was very open right from when I uttered the first words. I was just trying to warm up but she kept the convo going. Then it popped into my mind that I should just ask for her number and I did and she happily gave it to me and we decided on drinks sometime soon.

Then I texted her and she responded and we texted back and forth. But when I asked for grabbing a drink sometime next week, she said she is busy till Christmas. So we will see. But anyways this was all a bonus, I was just trying to do at least one approach and work on my AA.

 

[Social_Artist91]

7 December 2024

I did 1 compliment. Was at a tram stop. Girl was wearing headphones. I would have usually chickened out. But I tapped her shoulder, got her to take off her headphones and delivered the compliment. I was surprised by my own boldness. I even made some small talk after that with her till the tram arrived.

 

[Social_Artist91]

8-15 December, 2024

Went out everyday last week. Did at least 1 approach every day. Some were compliments and some were indirect opens.

Hoping to continue it this week. And do more direct openers. That is my main point of weakness. Showing intent. I have not much of a problem just chatting up girls. But showing sexual interest is the part I need to work on.

 

[Social_Artist91]

16 December 2024

Today I wanted to do just 1 direct approach to work on my sticking point of showing intent.

Walked around the mall for around 10 mins and then saw a girl with a white coat walking. Approached her and told her she looked beautiful. Then I asked her where she was from or maybe I made an assumption, I don't remember.

But I just ran out of things to say or rather froze a bit. So I just asked her out on a date. She thanked me but said no. I did not mind, it just felt like I experienced a fleeting moment of freedom. Freedom to express my intention and go for it without all these inhibitions.

This is what I need to do more of.

 

[Social_Artist91]

100 Rejections!?

Yesterday I was out at an event and one of my friends who is more shy and soft spoken told me nobody would believe me, if I told them I don't have a good dating life.

This is because I am quite social and in social events and in my social circle I go talk to all the girls and joke around with them. I have no problems with that stuff. Like my friend noticed yesterday, girls are very comfortable around me, they even touch me casually when I am joking around with them and tell me its fun to be around me and invite me to a lot of social stuff.

But the problem is, I don't want to go for it in social circles. I don't want to date the girls in them. I love having these friends and I don't want to bring any drama into that.

That is why I used to do online and now I am trying to get good at cold approach. And cold approach scares me because of the element of showing interest, actually making a move and of course handling rejection.

Yesterday I was contemplating this and listening to a psychologist who was talking about "Rejection Practice/Therapy". The concept really intrigued me and I looked into it. The more I found out, I had an uncomfortable feeling that maybe this is exactly what I need.

I want to see if I can go out and get rejected 100 times.

Whether I can do it?
How it would feel after each?
What would actually "happen" if I got rejected and if it really feels all that bad.
How it would change my personality if I got a 100 rejections?

I want to try to do this. I will not do anything stupid or uncalibrated to get the rejections. To be honest, I don't think I would be even capable of doing anything brash or stupid because of how stifled I am. So that is not a real problem.

I will just try to approach girls and consider it a rejection if any of the following happen:

- She ignores me or does not engage in conversation or does not stop if she is walking.

- I go for the number and she refuses to give it to me.

- She gives me her contact and then does not reply or does not come out on a date.

So lets see if I can do it and if it rids me of some of my Nice Guy tendencies.

Since I got rejected yesterday, I have already started. 99 to go.

Rejection Count: 1/100

 

[Social_Artist91]

17 December 2024

Today was a long day at work. I got out of my office and wanted to get one rejection before going home.

I usually I am extra careful and don't even approach on the streets around my office for fear of them being someone who works at my company and knows someone I know etc.

But today it was quite late and I knew no one from work would still be around.

Approach 1
Saw a girl with a white coat walking and went in and stopped her and delivered a compliment. Then again I asked her where she was from and we had a conversation for a few seconds and as I saw she was about to leave, I just went for the close. She refused but thanked me and I said bye and was leaving when she again called out to me and wished me happy holidays.

I had my rejection for today and was feeling good for having been able to approach and also go for the close.

I had no plans to do more but as I was waiting for my bus, I saw a cute Asian sitting.

Approach 2
I went in, stood next to her and opened direct. This time I was calmer and tried to guess her nationality. Then I made some small talk still nervous and with my heart thumping. Then she mentioned a boyfriend while speaking. I thought I could not count it as a rejection unless I tell her about my intention. So I told her I would have invited her out for a drink but seems like she cannot come out. She said yes, that she was in fact waiting for her bf now. Then I ejected.

And sure enough as I was getting on to my bus, I saw an Asian guy come with a bouquet of flowers and kiss her.

Anyways I am thrilled, I literally direct approached and went for the number with 2 girls within 15 minutes of getting off work which is amazing for me. : D

97 more to go!

Rejection count: 3/100

 

[Social_Artist91]

18 December 2024

Went out in the evening to appeoach and get at least 1 rejection. Saw a blonde milfish lady walking. I stopped her and delivered my compliment. She understood it and thanked me but her English was bad. She started immediately walking away. I guessed her nationality and she corrected me. She was again kind of walking off. If she had just walked off it would have counted as a rejection anyways. But I just wanted to push it. So I said just one moment and she stopped and I went for the close and asked her out. She just said no and this time walked off for sure.


This was one of the most awkward and uncomfortable rejections I have experienced. I think if I am able to handle these kind of situations, then the world would become my oyster and I could have so much freedom in terms of cold approaching. So I felt it was a huge step in the right direction for me today. And it only took me around 8 minutes to do this approach.

96 more to go!

Rejection Count: 4/100

 

[Social_Artist91]

19 December 2024

Today was in the city centre. Was feeling a lot of anxiety because initially I set the goal a bit higher and wanted to do 3 direct approaches. But then I reminded myself that I just want to do 1 to keep the momentum up.

Saw a girl that looked very German walking. Went and stopped her and opened with a direct opener. She took a moment to register what was happening but then understood. We chatted hardly for 10 seconds and she said she was going to work and needs to leave. I just went for the close and she said she had a bf.

Its 4 days in a row now that I have been able to really put myself out there and do a direct approach and even go for the number. I am happy about that. I could of course get a lot longer convos when I was doing indirect stuff but this is important for me. To be finally able to express intent and take the no's.

95 more to go.

Rejection Count: 5/100

 

[Social_Artist91]

22 December 2024

Had a two day gap. Did not go out Friday and yesterday just did some indirect stuff. I am in a funny situation, I did not go out on Friday because I felt too tired and I felt doing a cold approach was too much. And yesterday I was feeling more anxiety and my mood was down and I thought if I went direct and got rejected it would make me feel worse.

But on both these days, I was feeling quite bad and very POWERLESS because I felt somehow defeated. Like this area of my life had defeated me and the AA and resistance had won.

Today I went out and did some indirect stuff to warm up. Then after a while, I felt this anger rising from within me.

I was not going to let my emotions get the better of me and defeat me again. So finally I saw a girl walking. I actually never even got a look at her face. But her figure seemed good so I dashed after her, caught up to her and opened direct. She thanked me but started walking again. I asked her if she was Spanish and she said she is local and started walking again and I wished her a good evening.

Felt wayyyy better after doing this. I realize for me its not even about the girl, I hate my own inability to take action. I really want to be able to see a girl I like and just walk up to her and tell her what I like about her. If nothing else, I want to get to this point. And this anyone can do so I have no excuses!

94 more to go.

Rejection Count: 6/100