Socializing Daygame Follies and Advice on how to close your female target in groups

[AdamC]

Hey there Fellas.

I'm back with some questions and encounters from my Quest to Master Daygame!

Before I jump into my question about how to close the Female target for personal info in Daygame groups, mainly Duo's and Threesomes (ha..ha..ha.. not there yet but soon) I mean Triplets, let me describe some "follies," that I have experienced today and the past several days, that I would like input on too.

First today!
My only approach. Very tall runway looking female at the corner stoplight. Dressed hipster with the cowboy boots, mini-leather top, hippish hair. From afar she looked great. Had to run a couple blocks to catch up to her and when I did:
Aphex Twin - Windolicker
Watch the video if you haven't before. It's truly a classic!
I blurted out - "Guy or Girl?"
She sunk - "Really?" "Cuz I'm tall?" "You know that's extremely rude, I can't believe it..." I replied "Yeah. I'm a pretty rude guy. Well, sorry about that, and have a good day..."
I actually felt really bad. I seriously hope she doesn't go home and slit her wrists.
It was a reactionary comment based on accidentally previously hitting on a REAL Tranny in Daygame before out here in Los Angeles. There are tons of them out here. In the words of Kyle Reese from the original Terminator...They're "Very hard to spot. I had to wait till he moved on you before I could zero him."
When she turned, she had a really masculine face, and very little for a bust, despite the misleading leather top, so I reacted based on the previous experience where I said excuse me and the dude turned around and said "HELLO" in a seriously deep voice. And I was like:
"That ain´t no woman. Its a MAN man"

ANYWAY, this brings up a really good point!
Because my last three approaches like this girl all turned out to be not really great looking up close.
Soooo, how do you gracefully say no, or pull back when you open a REAL female, or person, and it turns out that they aren't all that attractive?
Ya know, cuz you don't exactly want to be a dick, and potentially throw some poor chick into a depression spiral, like the one above...

Second question which is interesting coming from the other "turned out to be" unattractive females...
They wouldn't shake my hand.

I do something a coach I originally worked with calls the "man to woman handshake." It's like how you would hold a girls hand if you were dancing with her, and leading her. NOT a crush her hand Business Handshake.
It's supposed to establish a "Man to Woman" frame off the bat.
Like he does in his infield, and it typically has worked with those Beverly Hills, West Hollywood, Attractive Modelish females, I'll do my open, say something like "You seem interesting but I'm not sure...Who are you?" then extend my hand.
These girls, the young one looked at me with disgust and said - "what do you want?"
The other who turned out to be older said "I'm ocd about germs," and I replied "Why, where would you an idea I have germs?" She replied, "To be frank, you're a stranger, and I don't know where you've been..." At which point I leaned back and said "I appreciate the compliment. I thought you might be cool, but it doesn't seem like the case, have a good day..." And I walked off...

The third girl who wouldn't shake my hand was actually a very RARE Gym Approach. I went on an off hour, I'd usually never go, because I had to vent some stress doing cardio. There was this Unbelievable tall, thin athletic Asian Girl with read D breasts that I thought - I have to approach her. And since we have different schedules, and I've never seen her before - I have to close if I can!
I opened her with "Hey, your outfit there is very Pastel, like 1980's Miami Vice colors... Are you into Jazzercise?"
I was basically doing the open I should have with that "Now Famous" Only Fans girl in the see though yellow jumpsuit. Do the 1980's schtick.
This girl had NO CLUE what the Fuck I was talking about.
She responded with a thick Asian accent and said "Oh, I'm just doing a couple random excesses..."
Anyway we talked. She had me try and guess where she was from. I said she was Thai cus of her height and cream colored skin. She chuckled and said she was from Hong Kong. I mentioned how I love Jackie Chan, particularly because I just recent saw his first Film "Drunken Master" without subtitles and could pretty much understand the whole thing.
Ohh yeah. She wouldn't shake my hand because she said her hands were sweaty.
Of course in my mind it way "what's the difference if you hand is sweaty if end up naked and sweaty in the end anyway?"
NOW here's the thing. I'm not sure if she really has that much broken English, or if it's like girls who tell you they have a BF when doing Daygame.
She said politely - nice to met you and see you around.
I replied, hey maybe we'll catch eachother on the way out.
I went to my cardio machine and POOF she disappeared.
Couple days later when I saw my buddy who is a trainer there, and is Korean. I mentioned the Attractive Asian Girl from Sunday and he was like - "Oh you mean Katherine." I told him about the handshake and her limited English. He said "Oh, She's nice. She's very shy. Don't worry about it." But then again he's in a weird position working there where he can't exactly Throw Game like I tried.
I typically don't like Gym Game. It's kinda like Starbucks Game, especially when it's a local Starbucks, or coffee shop where I go on a regular basis. If things get weird then you have to leave and find a new place.
I know from a botched experience at another Starbucks, which is why I try and avoid it.

FINALLY - How to close the target girl in a Duo, or Triplet friend group during Daygame??
I actually have opened my fair share of Duo's and Triplets since I hit Daygame hard in early June. But quite oddly, either the target girl turned out to be Married, or from out of town. Or from out of town AND married. So I haven't gotten to the close yet.
The Triplet set I opened Saturday afternoon actually went beyond well than I thought. My target was this very tall earthy Blonde with these incredible breasts with no bra - seeing nippliege is a real motivator. The Lead female was a bit Older. Then there was the unattractive friend.
Turns out the Target was in for Saturday and Sunday from Portland (what's up with all these earthy Portland girls, and no bra??)
The Lead female was local. The unattractive friend was from Long beach in town for the weekend.
Made friends with all of them. Gave them my Photography info for them to check out for fun. But really could close the Portland girl.
1. How do you just close her and not the Lead, or Unattractive friend?
2. What good is trying to close when she is leaving the next day, and the Lead stresses (but in a nice way) that it's a Girls only trip, not out looking for guys. (Or so she says...)

Therefore - How do you close your target for contact info in Daygame, or seed a date when it is a Duo, or Triplet that IS local, and a viable opportunity?

I have a Nightgame Duo question I'll write about later that is similar but different. It's from a while ago, but I'm curious about the dynamics.

Last note - Given the past rough approaches. Two phone number fall throughs - I thought they were solid numbers. And that fall though from the social circle Nightgame girl from Portland - It's amazing how fast that approach anxiety grows back despite feeling like I've approached a thousand girls since the beginning of June!

 

[Gorili]

I blurted out - "Guy or Girl?"
She sunk - "Really?" "Cuz I'm tall?" "You know that's extremely rude, I can't believe it..." I replied "Yeah. I'm a pretty rude guy. Well, sorry about that, and have a good day..."

This is absolutely horrible. Imagine somebody asks if you're a guy or girl, and that's the first thing that comes out of their mouth...

In this day and age, you gotta be careful with this type of stuff. If this girl were the feisty type, you would've gotten slapped on the spot no lie, and maybe they would've even turned the crowd against you and created a commotion.

It was a reactionary comment based on accidentally previously hitting on a REAL Tranny in Daygame before out here in Los Angeles. There are tons of them out here.

Because my last three approaches like this girl all turned out to be not really great looking up close.
Soooo, how do you gracefully say no, or pull back when you open a REAL female, or person, and it turns out that they aren't all that attractive?
Ya know, cuz you don't exactly want to be a dick, and potentially throw some poor chick into a depression spiral, like the one above...

If the girl / tranny doesn't look too good before I've said anything aside from "hey", I ask them if they know where I can buy a fishing rod around here. I've used this dozens of times. Some of them even Google it on the spot lol. Then I get outta there.

If you're in the middle of the conversation, you take out your phone like you just had a vibration and got a text message. Squint like you're reading a message on your screen and tell them that your friend is here and you got to go. "Have a nice day."

I do something a coach I originally worked with calls the "man to woman handshake." It's like how you would hold a girls hand if you were dancing with her, and leading her. NOT a crush her hand Business Handshake.
It's supposed to establish a "Man to Woman" frame off the bat.
Like he does in his infield, and it typically has worked with those Beverly Hills, West Hollywood, Attractive Modelish females, I'll do my open, say something like "You seem interesting but I'm not sure...Who are you?" then extend my hand.
These girls, the young one looked at me with disgust and said - "what do you want?"
The other who turned out to be older said "I'm ocd about germs," and I replied "Why, where would you an idea I have germs?" She replied, "To be frank, you're a stranger, and I don't know where you've been..." At which point I leaned back and said "I appreciate the compliment. I thought you might be cool, but it doesn't seem like the case, have a good day..." And I walked off...

I almost never get a handshake / handclasp rejection, and the reason is you're doing this within 10 secs of talking to them and requesting compliance. You can push this back after the hook point, and you won't get this objection. If you look at things from their perspective, they have a point cuz you're still a stranger in their eyes. Imagine a random stranger asking for a handshake from you that early on...

I opened her with "Hey, your outfit there is very Pastel, like 1980's Miami Vice colors... Are you into Jazzercise?"

To be honest, I also have no idea what this means. This is a pointed cultural reference. If it works, it'll go great, but if not people are just going to be confused.

This girl had NO CLUE what the Fuck I was talking about.
She responded with a thick Asian accent and said "Oh, I'm just doing a couple random excesses..."

You could use a second opener like "isn't it so nice to be at the gym and work off all that pent up energy and stress after a long day?" This is just one way to do it.

Ohh yeah. She wouldn't shake my hand because she said her hands were sweaty.

To save face here, go with a fist bump. They will return it. Ask me how I know from COVID

FINALLY - How to close the target girl in a Duo, or Triplet friend group during Daygame??
I actually have opened my fair share of Duo's and Triplets since I hit Daygame hard in early June. But quite oddly, either the target girl turned out to be Married, or from out of town. Or from out of town AND married. So I haven't gotten to the close yet.
The Triplet set I opened Saturday afternoon actually went beyond well than I thought. My target was this very tall earthy Blonde with these incredible breasts with no bra - seeing nippliege is a real motivator. The Lead female was a bit Older. Then there was the unattractive friend.
Turns out the Target was in for Saturday and Sunday from Portland (what's up with all these earthy Portland girls, and no bra??)
The Lead female was local. The unattractive friend was from Long beach in town for the weekend.
Made friends with all of them. Gave them my Photography info for them to check out for fun. But really could close the Portland girl.
1. How do you just close her and not the Lead, or Unattractive friend?
2. What good is trying to close when she is leaving the next day, and the Lead stresses (but in a nice way) that it's a Girls only trip, not out looking for guys. (Or so she says...)

Therefore - How do you close your target for contact info in Daygame, or seed a date when it is a Duo, or Triplet that IS local, and a viable opportunity?

These are much more technically advanced approaches, and I wouldn't really focus on them at this stage if I were you.

If you want to for whatever reason, there are 2 ways:

1. Isolate her from the group by telling them that you need to borrow her for a minute. This works well if there's enough compliance, and the other members of the group have something to do like shopping, etc. or is in a 3-set or more. With a 2-set, if the other girl has nothing to do like shopping, it will likely fail cuz she's gonna be bored by herself. Once isolated, move her and try to get into a lock-in position ASAP. Then, set an imaginary max 5-min timer in your head. I've had situations where the mother hen came back, said that we were out of time, and physically dragged the girl away cuz she was that attracted, so you need to keep an eye out on the clock
2. Address the whole group while working on the girl. This one is gonna be much tougher than Scenario 1. First, ask for logistics "what else do you guys have going on" to gauge how much time you have. Essentially, a lot of the style here will be similar to night game when you're dealing with groups. Playing assumption games like "she must be the shy type, she's the social butterfly, etc." would work well. At the end of the day, you're still gonna need approval from the alpha girl for the contact close on your target

 

[Chase]

Fantastic analysis by @Gorili.

We've all said dumb things to women we regret. If you realize it in the moment, just take it back instantly and tell her you were kidding --> "Guy or girl?" "OMG, cuz I'm tall?" "Yeah, I'm just joking. Maybe I need to go back to comedy class. Anyway... [transition to something else] [lol 'transition']"

With approaches where you go up and are surprised at how unattractive the chick actually is, I like to go into a quick genuine compliment on something about her (usually style). e.g., "I saw you walking here and just had to tell you the coordination in your outfit is absolutely killer." Then DON'T introduce yourself, so you push her to respond with a "Thank you!" and you just go "Absolutely!", flash a big smile, and continue on your way. Then you're just a random Good Samaritan handing out day-making compliments. Nice instead of awkward or nasty. Good vibes for yourself as well.

It was a reactionary comment based on accidentally previously hitting on a REAL Tranny in Daygame before out here in Los Angeles. There are tons of them out here. In the words of Kyle Reese from the original Terminator...They're "Very hard to spot. I had to wait till he moved on you before I could zero him."
When she turned, she had a really masculine face, and very little for a bust, despite the misleading leather top, so I reacted based on the previous experience where I said excuse me and the dude turned around and said "HELLO" in a seriously deep voice. And I was like:
"That ain´t no woman. Its a MAN man"

There's no need to go all Austin Powers on them.

You just make a mental note of it and exit the conversation as quick as you can.

You don't need to go telling these people, "I realize you're a dude, haha!" or anything.

He's not going to tie you up and diddle you because you talked to him. You just exit the conversation. Again, compliments work just fine here: "Just wanted to tell you your hair looks fabulous!" "Thanks!" "For sure!" --> leave.

(if he tries to hang onto you you just tell him, "Gotta run, just have to point out something I like when I see it!" and now once again it is good vibes all around)

@Gorili's analysis on pushing for handclasps too soon is spot on with the sort of opener you're running with here.

In terms of firefighting in the moment, with girls refusing you compliance, the first girls were hard nos where you need to just change topics and move the conversation on.

In your case, you have too much literal conversation with these girls, and too little fun or emotional stuff. e.g.,

These girls, the young one looked at me with disgust and said - "what do you want?"
The other who turned out to be older said "I'm ocd about germs," and I replied "Why, where would you an idea I have germs?" She replied, "To be frank, you're a stranger, and I don't know where you've been..." At which point I leaned back and said "I appreciate the compliment. I thought you might be cool, but it doesn't seem like the case, have a good day..." And I walked off...

So, Girl #1 throws up staunch resistance.

Girl #2, who is older (and probably more socially savvy) reads the situation and tries to help you save face by writing her reluctance off as being "OCD about germs."

You respond with a literal inquisition as to the nature of her OCD-ism (when odds are she is not all that OCD at all, just trying to exit an awkward situation without rebuffing you as harshly as Girl #1).

This is the same manner of response as you gave to the tall girl, blurting out "Guy or girl?" It is this too-literal interaction with other humans. Seduction is about playfulness, flirtatiousness, curiosity, banter, and fun, not about literal querying or fact-finding.

Girl #2, for her part, continued to try to let you down easily, so much credit to her.

Better banter here would've been:

GIRL 1: What do you want?​

​

YOU: [surprised Pikachu face]​

​

GIRL 2: I'm OCD about germs.​

​

YOU: Guess I should start carrying around my vaccination record. [slowly retract hand] Anyway, what are you lovely ladies up to today?​

You basically should be treating fairly stiff rebuffs like this as what typically are -- windups for rejections -- and rather than try to find some way to keep the girl talking, just have fun with it so you get to look/feel like the cool guy getting rejected by the too-stiff chicks. When they respond with what they're up to by saying they need to go, you just happily tell them, "Wonderful to have met you! Good luck with the shopping!"

Just good vibes and good fun all around. You'll feel much better, and look like the coolest one in the interaction to anyone paying attention to it.

But more to the point: as Gorili note, the handclasp is too fast for that opener.

I'm not sure if your coach is @Hector Papi Castillo -- I know you coached with him before and he generally teaches the handclasp.

Tactics Tuesdays: Hugs, Handclasps, and Arm-on-Shoulders

Today’s article will focus on three different forms of touch for use in similar situations (mostly as greetings... hello and goodbye): Hugs Handclasps (note: not handshakes) And your arm on (or around) her shoulder With each tactic, we’ll look at when these work best, when they can backfire, how...

www.girlschase.com

Thing with handclasps or handshakes is you can use them right away when you are opening direct, which is what Hector is usually teaching. So, e.g., this is okay:

YOU: Excuse me... I saw you walking here, and I just HAD to tell you... those boots are the most fire fashion statement I have seen all day. I'm Adam. [extend hand]​

That is fine because:

1. You are providing value (a sincere, novel compliment she likely has not heard before).
   
   
2. You are talking to her for a full 10 seconds or so before you extend your hand to her. Hopefully during that time she has been impressed and excited by your presentation and delivery and would like to take your hand.

But with this:

YOU: You seem interesting but I'm not sure...Who are you?​

You are:

• Taking a skeptical stance right off the bat.
• Asking the girl to qualify herself immediately.
• At the same time, extending your hand, which is a sign of acceptance.

It's incongruous.

It still may work with girls who are attracted to you right away. They will just view the opening line as an insincere banter line (something you are saying just to say something) and will happily take your hand, ignore the opener, and ask you whatever they feel like asking.

But with girls who are more on the fence, or who may not be feeling you yet, it's very incongruous to combine "I am skeptical of you" with "I accept you" right there in the opener.

Either provide value and be accepting, or act skeptical but withhold any sign of acceptance until she's proven herself.

(also, with the "you seem interesting" opener, this really needs to be grounded well to come off as sincere... it is not a beginner opener. If the girls are not actively trying to stand out -- like dressed in costumes, or behaving especially zany -- you need to actually state WHY they seem interesting, otherwise it just sounds like a boilerplate B.S. line)

Gorili has a good recommendation for you with the language barrier girl.

When you hit language barriers, you need to dramatically simplify your opener and remove all pop culture references.

e.g.,

YOU: OMG, you're totally doing Jazzericise over here, aren't you?​

​

HER: [blank stare]​

​

YOU: [to self] Clearly I'm dating myself. [to her] Working hard?​

​

HER: Oh! Just doing some random exercises.​

​

YOU: Better be careful, you will get random muscles then! Big left shoulder, little right shoulder. Big toe muscles.​

​

HER: [laughs]​

With language barrier girls you just need to dumb your humor down like you're talking to a child.

They will still enjoy it anyway because they know it's humor and they don't get a lot of chances to joke around in a language where they usually have trouble understanding any humor anybody uses.

FINALLY - How to close the target girl in a Duo, or Triplet friend group during Daygame??
I actually have opened my fair share of Duo's and Triplets since I hit Daygame hard in early June. But quite oddly, either the target girl turned out to be Married, or from out of town. Or from out of town AND married. So I haven't gotten to the close yet.
The Triplet set I opened Saturday afternoon actually went beyond well than I thought. My target was this very tall earthy Blonde with these incredible breasts with no bra - seeing nippliege is a real motivator. The Lead female was a bit Older. Then there was the unattractive friend.
Turns out the Target was in for Saturday and Sunday from Portland (what's up with all these earthy Portland girls, and no bra??)
The Lead female was local. The unattractive friend was from Long beach in town for the weekend.
Made friends with all of them. Gave them my Photography info for them to check out for fun. But really could close the Portland girl.
1. How do you just close her and not the Lead, or Unattractive friend?
2. What good is trying to close when she is leaving the next day, and the Lead stresses (but in a nice way) that it's a Girls only trip, not out looking for guys. (Or so she says...)

Therefore - How do you close your target for contact info in Daygame, or seed a date when it is a Duo, or Triplet that IS local, and a viable opportunity?

Portland is the leftwing white people center of America.

I think it's pretty much required to be feminist to live there. They might make you take a feminism test or something before you move in.

So don't be too surprised to see a Portlander going commando...

But if you have a situation like yours, where you have a brief interaction, there are multiple people there, it isn't practical to isolate, AND the girl you want is leaving town soon, the only way to reliably handle that is to just be direct, channeling it through the alpha female:

YOU: [to older married alpha female] Normally I would be more circumspect, but Alice's [indicate the blonde] leaving town and you're all three here. Do you think Alice would be down to get drinks with me tonight while she's here?​

The alpha female is then going to eye code with the blonde, and if the blonde doesn't seem opposed, and the alpha female doesn't have wall-to-wall plans for the girls, she may hook you up. Especially so if a.) the alpha female likes playing the role of matchmaker and/or b.) the blonde has been complaining recently about being lonely / lack of good men in Portland / etc.

You want to ask the alpha female because if you ask the blonde she may decline just not to look too eager. You're much more likely to get a "yes" going through the alpha if the alpha likes you, because if she approves of you, she will want to hook you up with one of her lieutenants.

When in doubt, win the alpha female over and ask her to decide in your favor!

Spotting the Alpha Girl in a Group (& Winning Her Over)

The alpha girl (or alpha female) of a group of girls can help you – or hinder you. You must know who she is & how to approach her to succeed with her group. Hey guys and welcome back. Today I want to discuss a subject we haven’t talked about: social dynamics and group theory. This post will be...

www.girlschase.com

What she decrees her underlings must obey

Edit: I just noticed you mentioned the alpha female nicely let you know it's a "girl's only trip." That was your polite rejection right there. She liked you as a person but wasn't interested in hooking you up with one of her girls. It won't always go that way though, especially as you continue to improve your game + fundamentals, so keep this strategy in mind for similar situations where the alpha female is approving of you and does not block you from hooking up with one of the chickens in her hen house!

Chase

 

[AdamC]

Alright Cool. Good stuff.
Let me recap for myself...

With any unattractive female, or if it turns out to be a "That's no Woman, it's a Man, Man..." simply give a "good citizen compliment," and wish them a good day. Obviously don't get reactive like I did with that poor girl...

As far as the Austin Powers reference - it was just a good opportunity to make a fun reference to a classic comedy - which happens to involve seduction stereo-types... I'm not a "punch a tranny in the mouth" kinda person, unless someone was trying to get physical with me.

Yes - Hector's Day Game series is what launched me in Day game. It is a good start.
I've always done the "Hanclasp" thing in a personal context. It seems to me that it is normal and comfortable for higher-end girls who are professional, and or very classy. Especially the Eastern European Women who I like and tend to seek out.

Language Barrier Girl - I thought she was American whose heritage was Asian which is why I went for the 80's Miami Vice reference. She had pastel purple leggings with a hot-pink and pastel green top which totally looked 80's. And I guess I am in a bubble. With Production and the MakeUp or Costume girls the 80's are IN. So is anything 70s. So I figured, what I thought was a stylish American Woman of Asian heritage would get the 80's reference.

With a different Language just "KISS - keep it simple stupid." (That was good classic advice from my Father back in the Day!)

Duo's and Triplets and Lead/Alpha/Mother Hen gals...

I'll probably do a separate post asking about Duo's because they really are the hardest. Especially in Day Game. I know Alek has a bunch of material of how to deal with them in Night Game where it is a bit easier to isolate, or pull them away. It's not that easy when it's a 2 to 5 minute interaction on the street with a duo when both they and I are on the move to where we gotta go, but you don't want to lose and opportunity with a female you'll probably never see again.

The triplet and Alpha girl. How I was taught, and what works well is opening the Alpha, and unattractive friend saying "Hey you guys, just give me two seconds... Listen, I wanted to say that it looks like you are having way too much fun..." (Or something along those lines). "You all look like you could be really cool, BUT - point to your target girl - I'm not so sure about her. She looks like total "trouble!"
You'll get a laugh from all of them. Usually I get them telling me about she is NOT Trouble. In this case the Alpha said - "Oh she's from out of town visiting." I asked the Target - "oh yeah, from where?" She said - "Portland." I said - "Ohhh, we're not gonna get along, sorry" I turned to the Alpha, then the Target Girl qualified herself somehow, I forgot how. And then I said - "Okay, well that's a start." Then I went back to the Alpha and the unattractive friend.

So I understand that if she were here in town longer, and I could have tried to close her for her info.
What you're saying is to Ask the Alpha for the connection. Which makes sense. I just am wondering how you pass over the unattractive friend right in front of her, from the Alpha to the Target... Doesn't the Target literally get asked out by several dudes a day when all three of them are hang-out? And isn't the unattractive friend in the middle of it all the time?
Won't the unattractive friend flip-out at some point and say - What the Fuck? Why Am I never asked out??
So how or do you address the unattractive friend?
I did kinda identify the Target as my Target close after the open when I said that she looked and reminded me A LOT like a Romanian girl who I had a thing with. But then I joked - "but you're not Romanian, you're from Portland..." At which the group laughed.

Again this is a Day game scenario where I can't really isolate the Target and let the two other girls chat with each other. They were on their way to the Alphas car where they were going to go to some Farmers Market on the beach a half hour drive away. So it was a moving Set that I temporarily paused and had them comply to move across the sidewalk into the shade under a tree...

Finally Portland Commando style and Nippleage!
I have no problem with it. In-fact I kinda love it. I was referring to how my last two major target girls where both from Portland and had these explicit nipples saying hello to me - ha...ha...ha...
Just like the OF Girl in see-though Yellow - It's kinda like "exposure therapy" in terms of being able to enjoy and appreciate the view, without becoming "emotionally reactive," and therefore "needy" or "try hard" because of the internal biology and desire...

 

[Atlas IV]

Portland is the leftwing white people center of America.

I think it's pretty much required to be feminist to live there. They might make you take a feminism test or something before you move in.

So don't be too surprised to see a Portlander going commando...

@Chase, if I can ask, what's your playbook for girls like this? I'm currently in a city in southern Spain with a strongly feminist culture. Many of the girls here also "go commando" and seem totally confident about it.

The strange thing I've noticed is that these girls seem to rebuff my approach even more than girls who dress more conservatively/normally (with a bra). I'm guessing there's a cycle at play here - they dress as they like due to their feminist mindset, which attracts more unwanted male attention, which in turn reinforces their feminist mindset. Am I onto something here or am I just conjecturing? I can't seem to figure out what to do with these girls.

What would your strategy be in a place like this, or Portland for that matter?

 

[Chase]

@Atlas IV,

@Chase, if I can ask, what's your playbook for girls like this? I'm currently in a city in southern Spain with a strongly feminist culture. Many of the girls here also "go commando" and seem totally confident about it.

The strange thing I've noticed is that these girls seem to rebuff my approach even more than girls who dress more conservatively/normally (with a bra). I'm guessing there's a cycle at play here - they dress as they like due to their feminist mindset, which attracts more unwanted male attention, which in turn reinforces their feminist mindset. Am I onto something here or am I just conjecturing? I can't seem to figure out what to do with these girls.

What would your strategy be in a place like this, or Portland for that matter?

Well, they might be feminists, but they still are girls.

Maybe "I'm going commando because I'm EMPOWERED!" is the framing, but "I've got my nips on display so I know guys are all staring at my tits" is still the thought running through their heads. Nothing to do with feminism; everything to do with "girls processing the reactions of guys."

The way I treat this is as if they are standing there topless in front of me. Just talk to them very normally and don't look at their tits. Cody talks about it in this article too:

Girls, Girls, Girls! How My View of You Has Changed

Note from Chase: this is our first article from Cody Lyans, whom you may also know by the handles "The Cost of Success" or, in shorter form, "Cosy." Cody's a very talented and experienced seducer who spends time traveling mainly about Western Europe. His focuses tend to be on deep psychological...

www.girlschase.com

The big thing you do is make your approach more ultra-casual than you would if they weren't coming at you with the high beams on. Generally you want to be a bit excited/eager in your approaches, but with girls showing their tits off you want to go the opposite way and be ultra laid back.

In both cases, you are being pattern interrupt-y and mysterious:

1. Fully-dressed girl not all sexed up but you're interested/enthusiastic? She thinks, "Wow, there's some kind of real connection here!"
   
   
2. Girl with her tits popping out and you're acting all nonchalant, so she thinks, "Huh, I've got my tits out, but it's like he hasn't even noticed. I wonder what gives?"

The role of the seducer is to violate expectations and be the guy she did not think she'd meet that day.

Chase

 

[James D]

The role of the seducer is to violate expectations and be the guy she did not think she'd meet that day.

this +++++++++

 

[Atlas IV]

In both cases, you are being pattern interrupt-y and mysterious:

1. Fully-dressed girl not all sexed up but you're interested/enthusiastic? She thinks, "Wow, there's some kind of real connection here!"
   
   
2. Girl with her tits popping out and you're acting all nonchalant, so she thinks, "Huh, I've got my tits out, but it's like he hasn't even noticed. I wonder what gives?"

That's a great way of putting it and makes total sense. Adjacent also to the point you made a while back about girls with tattoos.

I've come to realize recently that I tend to approach certain types of girls more than others, not because they're hotter per se but because either I had success with girls like that in the past or I "imagine" them as being more open to cold approach. The bra-less girls are the ones I approach less because of this bias, and it probably also negatively affects my vibe when I do approach.

I know this bias isn't grounded in reality though, it's being reinforced through cherrypicked reference points simply because I'm approaching more of one type than another. All the more reason I need to get out there and not be afraid to approach these "high beam" girls

"I just had to say, you have the most amazing pair of ti––Timberland shoes I've seen all day!"

 

[AdamC]

One comment and a couple more simple questions...

1. Seeing Nippleage or camel-toe with a girl in public, really is no different than if you were at a pool, or the beach with she in a bikini or bathing suit. Likewise with certain girls, when they wear revealing athletic gear at the gym.

Again (and this is more for me than you, or anyone) it's about "emotional regulation" feeling and addressing your gut desire WITHOUT acting on it of affecting your behavior as to not come off "hungry, needy, or try-hard..." Even though you are seeing some of the potentially nice goods up front.

Like Spain, Los Angeles, and Southern California commando isn't all that uncommon. Hell - I saw it in Denver, Colorado last summer when I visited. A bunch of earthy, granola and/ or hipster chicks...

2. Question - Is there much of a difference in approaching and gaming a 10, vs. an 8 in DayGame?
Does there need to be any alteration in approach or open?

3. Question - I've been told by third-parties that quote "girls don't trust me" upon approach...
I saw a DayGame guy describe that you need a-lot of value on the approach, but then transition to comfort. But if there isn't enough comfort, then you might get distrust... What's possibly going on here?

Finally, "for shits n' giggles" - I bumped into my Magician buddy, and found out the Social Circle/Night Game girl from Portland who he was involved with, asked him about me, asked if I could be trusted, and then asked "permission" to go out on a date with me - he was like "you're and adult. Do want you want with him, and really it's none of my business..." And then he told me that the reason she left Portland and moved back to Los Angeles after 7 years is because she is involved in a nasty divorce right now.

Sounds like a whole lot of Fucking Drama, and I guess she decided to flake on the meet-up invite making it easier and cleaner for my Buddy and I. That's why I'm not a fan of Social Circle. However I have better confidence I can attract attractive females like her, although I'd like to do it "more-better" in Day Game!