Daygame interaction time and process

[ChrisXKiss]

No, the real difference is that older women are more confident, and therefore can handle a less confident guy, whereas a younger girl is less confident, so requires a guy who is more confident. If there are two anxious/uncertain people in any kind of interaction they will bounce off eachother, there has to be some center of gravity for attraction to occur.

Maybe this is just the uncomfortable truth that I have to accept, that I don't come across confident enough in my approaches, which pushes the younger girls away but lets the older ones feel at ease.

I surely don't feel this during dates though, or when I get to know girls more, I mean I don't think I come off as anxious and uncertain most of the times.

So it has to be about the energy I have when I approach. I am sometimes too focused on how to approach well, and get a good reaction and hook in that makes it look I am trying to get something out of the interaction and I am not confident enough. But the reason this happens is because when I confidently approach with a genuine compliment I still don't get good reactions and wonder what else to do.

I feel the the issue is that I do treat them in a way that feels incongruent with our difference in life experience.

There is an adjacent dimension to younger women I haven't mentioned yet. Which is that they need to know that you are aware of the gap and that you don't take it seriously, and the best way I've found to do this is to not take them seriously.

So this is something I should probably pay attention to. I do feel that when I can't take them seriously I don't enjoy them much in a way either.

The 21 year old I slept with last month for example, she was having quite a deep conversation with me during the date. I still had the general frame of being more experienced, explaining things to her and giving her some advice about how life is, but you could say that she was a person I took seriously because she was working with herself and had a unique approach to life, so I appreciated that and felt like wanting to take care of this little thing and help her grow.

But it is true that when I approach or interact with younger girls outside, most of the times I feel we are operating at different frequencies. I want to appreciate them as people, because I feel that even their playfulness and girliness has some unique depth that I love and want to explore, but it feels like that just the fact I am so interested to explore who they really are and their feminine potential feels too much to them initially.

So I'd say in the end that it's not that I deeply see them seriously or like people that are not silly and cute, I surely don't think they are above me because they are young and cute, it is just that I want to connect deeply and appreciate their yet unrefined energy, which is something that especially initially may come off as too serious.

I've got to really figure out the correct vibes to have when approaching and I think the rest of the technique will be fixed by itself, meaning the teases, the smiles etc.

Probably I should just accept that they are into grounded solid men that treat them like the cute little girls they are, internalise it, not try anything particularly fancy on top of it, just go in and play with it.

 

[Will_V]

I feel the the issue is that I do treat them in a way that feels incongruent with our difference in life experience.

What would feel congruent?

The 21 year old I slept with last month for example, she was having quite a deep conversation with me during the date. I still had the general frame of being more experienced, explaining things to her and giving her some advice about how life is, but you could say that she was a person I took seriously because she was working with herself and had a unique approach to life, so I appreciated that and felt like wanting to take care of this little thing and help her grow.

Well that's great, you're getting something of what you want in her. I also am attracted to younger girls who are ambitious and conscientious, I'm not really attracted to immature young girls with boring personalities even if they're hot. I'd rather do the seduction dance with a girl I find captivating in some way, where there is a more powerful intimacy.

I've got to really figure out the correct vibes to have when approaching and I think the rest of the technique will be fixed by itself, meaning the teases, the smiles etc.

Probably I should just accept that they are into grounded solid men that treat them like the cute little girls they are, internalise it, not try anything particularly fancy on top of it, just go in and play with it.

This is how I would do it. For every guy there is a way that works best. For me the game of seduction is a process of internalizing principles and becoming a man I want to be, which takes time and involves a lot of influences. That's why I'm not very good at offering specific techniques, though I try since they can be useful for grasping a principle, but the principle and the worldview is what matters in the end, that's what will stick with you and lift up other aspects of your life as well.

 

[KnownUniverse]

those teenaged chav/hood rat girls that walk around in track pants and sweaters are easy. I can look at them and they will come over to me. I know straight away those girls are "underage" because they are out on a friday/saturday night but they aren't dressed to get into any venues.


Some of them a pretty though--definitely model material but i prefer girls in their early - mid 20s.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

What would feel congruent?

This warm authoritative energy you mentioned. I feel I either approach in a grounded way and treat them warmly, but it feels like I treat them as equals, or I go in more playfully with a funnier vibe, and it looks like I try to be one of them when it doesn't fit.

I think my issue is what I described, that I have not really been in positions of authority in my life, so I struggle to grasp how exactly to treat someone in that way but keeping the warmth without making them autoreject.

Also when I approach a young hot girl that believes she is higher value and that everyone chases after her, how to show quickly that I am not like the other guys and it is worth it for her to stay and pay attention to me.

Because even if I believe I have a lot of value and want to evaluate them, which I feel is a good frame, often they don't even give me enough time to interact with them and they don't qualify.

At least that is the feeling I get, that the bigger the age and experience gap, the more you have to feel as the confident one as you mentioned, that tries to figure out if this cute girl is worth his time.

 

[Will_V]

This warm authoritative energy you mentioned. I feel I either approach in a grounded way and treat them warmly, but it feels like I treat them as equals, or I go in more playfully with a funnier vibe, and it looks like I try to be one of them when it doesn't fit.

I think my issue is what I described, that I have not really been in positions of authority in my life, so I struggle to grasp how exactly to treat someone in that way but keeping the warmth without making them autoreject.

Also when I approach a young hot girl that believes she is higher value and that everyone chases after her, how to show quickly that I am not like the other guys and it is worth it for her to stay and pay attention to me.

Because even if I believe I have a lot of value and want to evaluate them, which I feel is a good frame, often they don't even give me enough time to interact with them and they don't qualify.

At least that is the feeling I get, that the bigger the age and experience gap, the more you have to feel as the confident one as you mentioned, that tries to figure out if this cute girl is worth his time.

In my experience, the foundation for my sense of authority is to have absolute dominance over my reality. That means I'm not doing crap I don't like, I'm not lost or drifting, and I'm truly happy with the core components of my life - which to me is my physical and mental capabilities, and the path my life is moving forward along. If that's not all in good shape and I know it's my fault, then my whole frame simply gets weak.

It can be hard to regain that if you've spent a long time going somewhere you didn't really want to, but life is a training ground, you teach yourself every day to be who you want to be, and to have self-respect, by doing all the big and little things in such a way as to be satisfied with yourself.

If you never had a position of responsibility over anyone and it interests you, it's a good idea to find some opportunities. For example I think you spent a lot of time dedicated to study, maybe tutoring would give you a purpose of that kind in a field you feel dominant in.

I generally think that if you pursue your natural curiosities and proclivities, you end up more or less where you will be most happy and where you fit best in relation to other people. Removing inhibition is much more constructive than trying to create a new person out of nothing.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

In my experience, the foundation for my sense of authority is to have absolute dominance over my reality. That means I'm not doing crap I don't like, I'm not lost or drifting, and I'm truly happy with the core components of my life - which to me is my physical and mental capabilities, and the path my life is moving forward along. If that's not all in good shape and I know it's my fault, then my whole frame simply gets weak.

It can be hard to regain that if you've spent a long time going somewhere you didn't really want to, but life is a training ground, you teach yourself every day to be who you want to be, and to have self-respect, by doing all the big and little things in such a way as to be satisfied with yourself.

This is really valuable and I fully believe I can improve that, it is a work in progress.

If you never had a position of responsibility over anyone and it interests you, it's a good idea to find some opportunities. For example I think you spent a lot of time dedicated to study, maybe tutoring would give you a purpose of that kind in a field you feel dominant in.

Yeah the thing is that it never particularly interested me, I didn't care let's say to have authority or be responsible about others. I started thinking about it because of everything I have been exposed to in the seduction community, that it's good to be seen as leader of men and protector of loved ones.

And one thing I have for sure felt lately, is that I am a beginner at most things I am doing, be it work, hobbies, seduction, which makes me lack this dominant feeling in my life in general.

So it is a good idea to start feeling a bit more like I know what I am doing, and I am better than others at least in some things. Can't say for tutoring specifically, but being open to take more responsibility and lead people is something I should look into generally.

The interesting thing is I can enjoy doing it with a girl, and I feel I am pretty good at it when she also leans into it. I tend to feel stronger and take care of her more dominantly when I can sense that the girl believes in me and lets go.

I generally think that if you pursue your natural curiosities and proclivities, you end up more or less where you will be most happy and where you fit best in relation to other people. Removing inhibition is much more constructive than trying to create a new person out of nothing.

I agree with this. Sometimes I even present frames like these in dates in fact, following who you really are, being authentic and not pursuing what everyone else wants, and asking the girl how she lives her life and what really fulfils her.

 

[Will_V]

Yeah the thing is that it never particularly interested me, I didn't care let's say to have authority or be responsible about others. I started thinking about it because of everything I have been exposed to in the seduction community, that it's good to be seen as leader of men and protector of loved ones.

And one thing I have for sure felt lately, is that I am a beginner at most things I am doing, be it work, hobbies, seduction, which makes me lack this dominant feeling in my life in general.

I don't believe in the idea of becoming a leader of men just to be more attractive to women. Leadership is more of a sacrifice than anything else, or at least something that is done because of a natural sense of belonging to it. Also, I think it is overvalued in terms of how attractive it is to women. Women value male capability and potential, they want to be with champions, but not necessarily leaders.

It doesn't seem to me that you have an issue stemming from not being an authority of men or women per se, but rather from not being an authority over yourself and your own life and reality.

Once you figure out the latter, you will find to what extent you need the former to get where you want to go. And I doubt you'll need it very much.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I don't believe in the idea of becoming a leader of men just to be more attractive to women. Leadership is more of a sacrifice than anything else, or at least something that is done because of a natural sense of belonging to it. Also, I think it is overvalued in terms of how attractive it is to women. Women value male capability and potential, they want to be with champions, but not necessarily leaders.

It doesn't seem to me that you have an issue stemming from not being an authority of men or women per se, but rather from not being an authority over yourself and your own life and reality.

Yeah that's what I feel too, which is why I never cared much about the positions of authority, I've even seen people who had them but were not particularly attractive to women.

So it is more about the personal aspect, what I am not sure is how to feel an authority over your life when you don't know exactly where you are going. I think I am reaching a point where I start forming a general idea about towards where I want to go, but I can't say exactly what the end result and my eventual life will look like.

It could also be just an issue of being unsure of whether I can succeed in what I want to succeed. For example with women, I know I want some sort of absolute abundance, there are many times though that I catch myself wondering if I will ever manage to get even close to this. The process of going out, approaching, flirting with girls is something I like and enjoy day to day, but it still feels like I am not that dominant over my reality if I am going after what I want, but struggle a lot to get it.

Similarly with other things like career goals, I feel I have this sense that I am still growing, I have not succeeded in anything important and could always get better. As a result, it is difficult sometimes to portray core satisfaction and authority over your life when you feel you are not yet where you want to be, and cannot even be sure if you will ever get there.

 

[average_daygamer]

You can open with literally any other statement that has some emotional relevance but isn’t chasing or supplicating to her.

Make an observation that isn’t positive or necessarily negative.


If they’re underage, you’ll find out at some point in the interaction and then say, “You’re too young for me, but have a nice day” and leave.

It’s not a big issue.

I disagree on the last part if they turn out to be underaged, if they are lower class, they are likely to call you a nonce, perv or even a paedo. That could be the case even if they are 18.

If they are middle class then yes, it's not an issue although feels very creepy. But if they are chavy they will usually make some drama.

As for openers, well, most of the time, in the heat of the moment, whatever creativity I do have tends to evaporate! So a direct "looks" based compliment is the default, despite it feeling shallow and insincere.

 

[James Cruse]

T

As for openers, well, most of the time, in the heat of the moment, whatever creativity I do have tends to evaporate! So a direct "looks" based compliment is the default, despite it feeling shallow and insincere.

Then it sounds like you’re not approaching enough to build up that skill of “creativity in the moment”.

That’s part of why women don’t like compliments in the first place:

Every guy does them and they’re easy, meaningless and chasing her - when she’s done nothing to deserve it.

If you do something that most ordinary guys are doing - it certainly won’t be seductive.

You’ve already approached her - so doubling down on chasing her with a compliment (chasing) is going to get alot of rejections.
So you’re tanking your interactions from the start (even if the rejection is delayed until later).

 

[average_daygamer]

T


Then it sounds like you’re not approaching enough to build up that skill of “creativity in the moment”.

That’s part of why women don’t like compliments in the first place:

Every guy does them and they’re easy, meaningless and chasing her - when she’s done nothing to deserve it.

If you do something that most ordinary guys are doing - it certainly won’t be seductive.

You’ve already approached her - so doubling down on chasing her with a compliment (chasing) is going to get alot of rejections.
So you’re tanking your interactions from the start (even if the rejection is delayed until later).

Believe me, I've had periods where I've been in the field multiple times per week. I've even accidentally approached the same girl because I've been in the field so much and didn't recognise her.

In my daygame career spanning 7 years, I've done thousands upon thousands of approaches.

I've approached more than enough.

 

[James Cruse]

Believe me, I've had periods where I've been in the field multiple times per week. I've even accidentally approached the same girl because I've been in the field so much and didn't recognise her.

In my daygame career spanning 7 years, I've done thousands upon thousands of approaches.

I've approached more than enough.

Right, so have you been practicing not saying compliments as openers in all that time - which is what I was referring to above regarding ‘practicing’.

 

[bkw]

The guys that wrote the book on daygame said 7 minutes or longer is a good time for daygame conversation, but that's being technical. Just as long as you're not exhausting the conversation, and you're able to have a little back and forth, and you give her the impression that you're a normal person without weird intentions, this is usually good enough. This can happen quickly if she seems to be in a rush, or this can go on for 7 minutes or more depending on if she wants to stick around and the conversation is flowing

 

[gameboy]

Believe me, I've had periods where I've been in the field multiple times per week. I've even accidentally approached the same girl because I've been in the field so much and didn't recognise her.

In my daygame career spanning 7 years, I've done thousands upon thousands of approaches.

I've approached more than enough.

I've just been reading Chase's latest article:

No, Women Don't Hate Being Approached—The Internet Lied to You

All across the web woke journalists & red pill gurus alike claim women hate being approached. But these folks are lying; women LOVE to be approached by MEN! Ever since I started Girls Chase way back in 2008, I have had men telling me that women don’t want to be approached by men. My original...

www.girlschase.com

when I got to the part about autistic men (half way through the article), I thought of your comment

Not sure what the solution is for you, but chase has various articles linked there, maybe they help.

 

[James Cruse]

The guys that wrote the book on daygame said 7 minutes or longer is a good time for daygame conversation, but that's being technical. Just as long as you're not exhausting the conversation, and you're able to have a little back and forth, and you give her the impression that you're a normal person without weird intentions, this is usually good enough.

I don’t think a daygame seduction should be looked at from the perspective of “enough time spent”.

The various waypoints, escalation and compliance with her are more important than the “time spent”.

Do you regularly appoach during the day?

 

[bkw]

I don’t think a daygame seduction should be looked at from the perspective of “enough time spent”.

The various waypoints, escalation and compliance with her are more important than the “time spent”.

Do you regularly appoach during the day?

I addressed this in my comment, so I agree with you. I've approached thousands of girls in daygame over the years. Obviously, there has to be SOME time to establish something between two people, but I'm not dead set on time limits, which I thought I addressed in my comment.

I'm actually not very keen on technicalities anymore, tbh.

 

[average_daygamer]

Right, so have you been practicing not saying compliments as openers in all that time - which is what I was referring to above regarding ‘practicing’.

Actually, no. I default to an appearance based compliment. The reason I do this is because I am afraid of "not showing intent".

I guess with the appearance based compliment, the girl at least knows you are somewhat attracted to her.

I can't really come up with a non based compliment. The best is maybe "you caught my eye back there, I wanted to say hi". But it's still appearance based because you admit that her appearance is what intrigued you.

I will be in the field tomorrow for late daygame/early night game. I would like some pointers on openers that I could use.

I don't like appearance based compliments myself but I can't seem to come up with anything else.

 

[James Cruse]

I'm actually not very keen on technicalities anymore, tbh.

This sounds like it means you just want to approach and just do what you’re doing and leave in a shorter period of time.

That’s ok - your choice if you don’t want to improve.

Just as long as you're not exhausting the conversation, and you're able to have a little back and forth, and you give her the impression that you're a normal person without weird intentions, this is usually good enough.

What conversion do you get from approach:sex with this method outlined here? If you were to guess

 

[James Cruse]

I don't like appearance based compliments myself but I can't seem to come up with anything else.

So you’ve been trying all that time to come with other openers.

Like I said, anything else that’s not positive and not too negative - that’s emotionally relevant. There’s tonnes of things you could say in that criteria.

 

[bkw]

This sounds like it means you just want to approach and just do what you’re doing and leave in a shorter period of time.

That’s ok - your choice if you don’t want to improve.

Way to make assumptions about me. Unfortunately, I can't really take you seriously now. GL with everything