Diary of a Hopeful Nihilist

[HopefulNihilist]

Been thinking of starting a journal for a while now, if only to push my self to actually approach. Freshman year was dry as fuck, mostly because I barely approached, and ruined all the opportunities life threw into my lap. It's time to change that.

College starts up again late September - I wanna have my fundamentals down by then. After that I'll have loads of time on the best possible training ground: college campus. I wanna be slaying girls by the end of sophmore year.

My strengths:
- I'm pretty good looking. Nothing out of this world, but I've got a good face and some decent muscle on me. Working on cutting right now so I can start lean bulking in fall.
- Good at socializing, tho I'm trying to get more comfortable being more laid back in social settings.
- Good at flirting and physically escalating once I get past my initial anxiety. Or atleast I think I am...

A few problems:
- Moderate AA. I can strike up conversations with strangers pretty easy, but cute girls are a little harder.
- Can't show intent. Well, can't yet. Got some real anxiety surrounding that. Of course the only way thru it is thru it...
- General anxiety around failure and social judgment. Been trying to flip that into a fear of not getting success. Moving from inaction to action.
- Work has me doing crazy hours. Like 9-9 hours, all on weekdays. And I'm a guy who needs his sleep, so can't do nighttime during the week. I work in outdoor sales tho, so maybe could use that to my advantage...

This is where I'm at. Right now I just gotta work on approaching and showing intent - can't get girls if you don't talk to them.

Goal: Show intent with 3 cute girls a day.

 

[HopefulNihilist]

Sooooo... things are a lil worse than I thought.

Went out specifically to daygame for the first time. Was in my hometown for the day so I just went downtown - its pretty touristy so has plenty people around. Walked around for a good hour and a half, and was comfortably checking girls out and staying confident with my eye contact.

But, man, my approach anxiety's worse than I thought. I opened only one girl with a basic situational opener, and didn't show any intent. I didn't even complement her or nothing...

Still tho, I get the feeling that I can do this given enough effort. There were a few other girls that if I was less anxious I could have easily approached. I know I could.

To be honest, my main hangup is not only being rejected, but "not talking to them for a good reason". I need to understand, approaching a cute girl is as natural as sex itself. As good a reason as asking for directions. That rejection literally doesn't matter. And if I don't try, there are loads of cute girls out there who'd love to know me but never will.

Mindset is everything. Bring it on.