Dylan's newbie assignment/journal

[Dylan]

Hi everyone.

I'm Dylan. Came across GC about a year ago. For the last four/five months I've been working on fundamentals and done some approaches, although a lot of them were too indirect. I'd say I've got a few dozen decent approaches under my belt in this time. The main reason I'm doing the Newbie Assignment is to improve my approach count - at the moment I'm passing up far too many opportunities to approach and not making progress quickly enough. By Day 14 I should have racked up a lot of approaches in a short space of time, and then the plan is to keep that momentum going in the weeks after that.

So Day 1:

The task was to identify 4 spots and visit them. I know my city quite well now, but I didn't want to skip this step because in the past I've thought I haven't chosen good locations. My spots I visited today were:

1. Main street. The busiest street in the city. I went later so it wasn't as busy. I've been down this street many times and I often avoided it because it was heaving and apparently no good for girls. However, today I stopped at the side and watched people go past. In the short time I was there I saw at least 3 attractive girls. That made me realise that my attempts at day game in the past have usually been me walking around, which tires you out after an hour or two. It seems much more efficient to let people pass you and then start walking when you see a girl you want to approach. Left feeling optimistic. This will be my first go-to tomorrow.

2. Bookshop. Turnover is obviously reduced compared to the street, but I prefer girls who are educated, quiet and enjoy reading, so this is an obvious location.

3. My neighbourhood. It's known as a bohemian area with a lot of bars and alternative shops. Sadly it's not as young and trendy as its reputation suggests. However, the two hottest girls I saw today were both here

4. Different part of town - known as a more upmarket area. I hadn't really been here before as it's a bit further out. Upsides: potentially more attractive girls, saw one on the train there. Downsides: popular with families and the town centre is quite small.

Other spots I didn't visit today:

- studenty area, which has a supermarket where I've recently started shopping. I'll be visiting there tomorrow
- any of the numerous bars and clubs...

As I've been working on my eye contact, posture and walk over the past few months, I'm going straight to Day 4 tomorrow.

 

[Dylan]

Day 4

The challenge was to say "Hi" to six girls today.

Glad to say I did that.

Four of the girls I said "Hi" to I asked where a shop was, which wasn't a particularly great follow-up. The first one I asked whether she would recommend any of the books in the bookshop, and the final girl I struck up a (very) brief conversation on the bus asking where she was going.

I think I could have pushed myself more and asked more interesting things than where stuff was, but hey, that's tomorrow's task

 

[Mr.Rob]

Cool to see someone doing a newbie assignment it's been a while.

Hope to see you see it through to day 10 (or is it 12 I forget).

Anyway keep it up. Ask questions if you get stuck.

-Rob

 

[Dylan]

Thanks Rob. Haven't forgotten, a few things have taken up my time this week, but tomorrow I am going to do Day 5, which is say 'Hi, how's your day going?' to six different girls.

 

[Dylan]

Day 5

Today's task was to say "hi, how's your day going?" to six different girls. Glad to say I managed it.

1. First thing this morning, to a girl as I was getting a coffee in a coffee shop.
2. To another girl in the coffee shop. This conversation went really well actually, but I didn't close with the number. I should have - there was no reason not to and I'm sure she would have done. Next time, I'll remember.
3. A girl on the train home, which went reasonably well, but I was with another guy so it wasn't quite a solo approach.
4. A girl in the bookshop. I was holding a book and tried to get talking about it, but she didn't hook.
5. A bored-looking hired gun.
6. A girl in the supermarket checkout - this fizzled out quickly!

I'm pleased that I spaced my approaches out over the day. I didn't think I'd get all six done easily after work, so I planned to get two done in the morning which I did.

Next up is Day 6 - approach one girl freestyle, or deliberately get blown out by 3 girls. I'm going to try a direct approach tomorrow, in prep for Day 7.

 

[Dylan]

Day 6

The task for Day 6 was to approach a girl freestyle. I went direct on a girl in the street. It fell flat for several reasons - the main one was that I didn't carry it out with much confidence. I didn't introduce my name straight afterwards, and I didn't pre-open or manage to stop her. I also hesitated for a bit.

It took me a while before I did my approach today. Chase's advice is not to wait for the perfect moment to approach. I did that in the supermarket earlier and missed another chance with another girl. In future, I need to take the opportunities earlier.

In some ways having multiple approaches to do in a day makes thins easier because it focuses your mind. You can't take an hour to approach one girl if you have 6 to do.

Tomorrow is Day 7, which if 4 direct approaches.

 

[Dylan]

I attempted Day 6 today, and it was pretty disastrous. I didn't use a direct opener on a single girl after a few hours of day game, and then a brief look into two bars, again with no approaches. Going out alone to bars is something I'm really struggling with. The best I've managed so far is to do 3 approaches in a bar alone. I often lose my nerve walking to them and end up circling around, which is never a good sign. Also, I'm wondering whether I'm visiting the right bars? The ones near me are all quite small, which makes me very self-conscious and limits the number of approachable girls. Also, they tend to attract an older crowd (late 20s, early 30s I'm in my mid 20s). Should I switch to the student part of town? It has a few clubs that are larger.

I let several girls go past me today who I should have opened direct. I realised that it's tricky to see a girl, identify something to compliment her on, relate it back to her and deliver it all in the space of a few seconds, tops. So I'm going to have a few less specific ones (hair and fashion sense) and deliver them in the style Chase recommends.

I've learned today that I need to switch my focus on honing my approach, rather than getting worked up about how the girl will react.

Today has been very disappointing though. The last few Friday and Saturday nights when I've attempted to go out alone have ended in failure. Any tips would be much appreciated.

 

[Dylan]

That should read Day 7 (four direct openers) rather than Day 6!

 

[Dylan]

I should also say what I'm planning to do next. I'm going to redo Day 7 (four direct openers) tomorrow. It will be harder tomorrow than today because it's a Sunday, but that's the price I have to pay for missing my chances today. I'm going to concentrate on honing the process, rather than worrying about the results. I also have some canned direct openers and I'll pick the right one when I see a girl I want to approach. This cuts out the worrying about what to say.

I really don't want to fail again at night game. I do think the bars around me aren't particularly suitable for my game - they are small and attract a crowd older than me. I think I'd be better off in the studenty area, where the girls will be 18-23 rather than 26-35. Also, there are at least two clubs there that apparently fill up very quickly on student nights. They will be busy again as term restarts.

Any advice would be welcome on this - I'm not happy with my failure rate at night game, I need to improve and I think a change of scene would help that.

 

[Bacchus]

Hey Dylan,

I have some advice here on failure rate since since mine is reasonably high.

I ignore it and focus on the goal, just like that. Past failures won't shrink away in the face of new successes

Getting caught in your head, is the worst thing for approaching really. I like to just switch off my brain, and without giving it time to process what happening I'm already on my way to the girl.

Vibe is the key factor for getting results, there are several videos and movies on this website that have characters with sexual vibes. Once you get vibe down to the core, instead of you.. it will be the girls you interact with feeling nervous and inadequate.

Hope it helps, good luck out there!




-Casanova

 

[Dylan]

Thanks for your encouragement Casanova, I was working on my vibe today.

So I reran Day 7 today and managed two direct approaches. OK, that's two less than the target, but I feel like I made progress. Firstly, because I'd only ever done one daytime approach in an outing before today. Secondly, because I feel like I was beginning to follow the process that Chase outlined here: https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-compliment-girl-youve-known-her-years

My previous direct approaches have all felt a bit haphazard, whereas here I felt like I was beginning to follow the process - even if a couple of times I failed at the most important part of delivering the opener. As Casanova advised, for the second time in particular I ran the approach without thinking about it.

As it happened both girls responded quite well, but I ended the interactions very early. I also spoke too fast and my rich vocabulary deserted me a bit...

I also spent a lot of energy and time walking with no approaches. It was only after getting annoyed with myself sufficiently that I was able to push through and approach. If I hadn't wasted time earlier in the day, I'd have been able to pass Day 7 today. Also, I realised that my standards are too high for day game approaches - if I keep screening girls out because they're not supermodels, I'm not going to get very far.

So I'll try again tomorrow. I feel more confident that I can succeed tomorrow, even if I will have limited time to work with. The key is to get that first approach done early. If I can do that, and now that I'm following the process I think I can, then hopefully the other three should flow from there.

 

[Dylan]

I haven't yet got past Day 7 (approach 4 girls direct), but I'm confident of doing it tomorrow. I feel like I'm reaching the point where the process matters more than the approach. That's crucial for improvement.

Another sticking point of mine is going out alone. However, I have a new place in mind for Friday (being an explorer) and I'm going there. I'm actually setting myself an additional goal tomorrow: complete Days 7 and 8.

I think the club will be the easiest location to approach two girls sitting down. That makes six direct approaches for tomorrow. If I achieve that, it will be three more than I've ever done in one day. My plan is to get up early tomorrow to get one in before work, then at least one done after work, before going out. That will leave four to do out.

I hope I can do this, and then Saturday I can have a stab at Days 9 and 10.

It feels like a big jump, going from being stuck on Day 7 to trying to complete it in half a day, and then some, but I feel ready for it.

I'll keep you all updated on how tomorrow goes.

Dylan

 

[Dylan]

Day 7 complete!

I got it done more or less as I planned it - two approaches in the day, two at night. I got up early this morning to try to get an approach in before work. That didn't happen. Not to worry, I got two done after work as people were going home. That left me with two, as I'd planned, for the night, as well as two sitting down.

In the end, I only approached two in the club. I'm still happy though - this was a big obstacle for me. I also successfully made it to a bar and a club alone. I don't think I'm going back to that club though, I'll have to find another.

I'm elated to have got this out of the way and move on to Day 8. It had been bugging me all week how I hadn't managed it last weekend, so to manage it Friday night leaves me the weekend to push on. Next up is approach two girls sitting down. This could be tricky in a day game situation - it's January and cold so not many people are hanging around. Still, I'll give it my best shot.

Dylan

 

[Dylan]

Does anyone have any tips for approaching sitting down? More on where to find girls sitting down, really. It's cold and wet in January and there are few benches and open spaces in my town, which means girls can't/don't want to linger outside. In a bar/club? Girls there tend to be in groups, which makes things tricky. At the moment, I'm thinking coffee shops may be a good bet. I scouted them out today, but there were no hot girls to be seen...

Any advice, particularly from those who have done Day 8, would be much appreciated.

Dylan

 

[Dylan]

I just had a failure of nerve going out alone again. I walked past the line for the club, then turned around a side street, walked back, and flunked it again.

I have to admit, I'm pretty disappointed in myself. I spent a lot of time today psyching myself up for this, only to give myself no chance at the crucial moment. I've just blown a great chance to complete Day 8, approaching two girls sitting down. As I'm away next weekend, I won't get another Friday or Saturday night for two weeks. I'm also freezing cold from venturing out for half an hour in January wearing a shirt and jeans.

However, I'm also feeling philosophical. Before and during this assignment, I've realised that I've often made the most progress when I've been most frustrated with the status quo. Frustration with the way things are in my life has spurred me on to approach in the past. Today definitely feels like one of those days. I've come back from no-shows before feeling awful and depressed. Tonight, I feel more of a quiet determination never to let this happen again.

I was afraid someone would ask me whether I was out alone or poke fun at me for doing so, as happened once (although not to my face) in the past. I've decided not to be afraid of that any more.

So, tonight, I'm promising myself and you all that the next time I go to a bar or club alone, I will make it through the door. I'm fed up of not making enough progress in my night game. And then, after I get through the door next time, I'll promise myself I'll get through the time after that. And the time after that. I'll post again before I next head out at night, and I encourage you to hold me to that promise I just made.

I've also been handed more evidence of the importance of getting there early. I got there 30 mins after it opened. The line wasn't that big, but it would have been smaller if I'd shown up 15 mins after it opened. I would have had less anxiety about queuing and probably made it in, who knows.

Anyway, have to dust myself down and get back out there tomorrow. Two sitting down approaches remains the challenge, and the coffee shop again feels like the best bet. I'm going to head there tomorrow lunchtime and hope some cute girls show up! As always, feedback is welcome.

Dylan

 

[Dylan]

Some better results to report today. I completed Day 8 and got an approach in on the bus to the supermarket, which went quite well although no phone number as she abruptly got up to get off. I missed another opportunity though, so I could and should have completed Day 9 today as well. Still, I'm pretty confident of completing Day 9 very soon, if not tomorrow. Should get one approach done in the morning commute, then another in the evening.

The two sitting down approaches were in coffee shops. The openers were just "hi, how's your day going", which aren't the trickiest ones but I think they pass. The first girl responded pretty well and we chatted a bit. She said she was waiting for her boyfriend. Didn't get anywhere with the second girl.

Hopefully should wrap up Day 9 quickly tomorrow and then move on to the more meaty Day 10 ("Are you single?") I've never asked a girl this question before, and I'm nervously excited about giving it a go.

Dylan

 

[Dylan]

Hi all, Day 9 is still TBC. I'm going on a long journey tomorrow, so I think I'll be able to get the two approaches in. Last time I did this journey I got two approaches in without actually trying to, so I'm pretty confident I'll get it done. I'll keep you informed.

Dylan

 

[Dylan]

My long train journey is over, and I made four approaches today. I think I'm getting better at understanding when girls are showing interest- one girl came and stood near me by the screens, which I took as an approach invitation and opened. Another girl looked at me, down and smiled to herself. I hesitated to approach because she was wearing headphones, and in that moment she left the station. Chance missed.

As it happens, I think I struck some fairly bad luck - one girl was waiting for a friend while the other two were going to visit their boyfriends.

Still, I find public transport one of the easiest locations to talk to girls on, despite apparently every girl these days wearing headphones...what strategies do you have for talking to girls listening to music or watching films on tablets?

Next up is Day 10- are you single? As I'm busy for the weekend it could be a while before I get this done, but I'm nearly at the end of the Assignment and have no intention of quitting...

Dylan

 

[Dylan]

OK, I did an hour of day game today but no approaches. Annoying, but it's made me realise what I have to do to pass Day 10. Also, I did an approach in the gym after. That's only one approach, but one is better than none. It's amazing how much better you feel after even one approach in a day.

As tomorrow's Wednesday, I've got a plan for how I'm going to ask four women whether they're single. It's a tall order - I've never done this particular opener before, but I now have the experience of the previous days to back me up.

Plan:

Leave the house at 8am and spend half an hour on the task in town before catching the train. This will be tough - I'm aiming for two approaches and I won't be packing it in until I either get to two or it gets to 8:30. I think if I took all my chances I could complete the task in 30 minutes, given how busy it is in the morning, but I'll be happy with two. Although I'll be halfway there numerically, I'll be 75% of the way there mentally.

Work for the rest of the day

Two more approaches after work, in town again.

I'm going to go for this - as Day 11 is focus on the walk, which would set me up nicely for Day 12 on Friday night, and then Day 13 on the Saturday. If all goes to plan, by Sunday I'll just have one day to go.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Dylan

 

[Dylan]

Have to report a blank today. Very disappointing. Approach anxiety - I let that beat me today, despite trekking around for an hour and a half.

I reread Chase's article on AA. Tomorrow, same again, but this time I'm going to focus on beating my fear as I do the approach as well as getting to four. I've never done the are you single approach before, so I suppose some AA is understandable. But I still want to beat it. I still have AA for direct approaches as well - I haven't done enough of them for it to go away.

So, tomorrow, half an hour before work to try to get to two - this time I have to focus on defying my fear.

Dylan