ElderPrice: From 30 y/o virgin to ?

ElderPrice

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I wonder if now might be a good time to try and think of ways of cutting it in its tracks while it's happening.
Oh yeah definitely as part of my comment on the depression getting better over time, part of that is implementing things to deal with it when it's occurring, for lack of a better term. I've always done things to help when it's occurring. Exercising, spending time with friends, studying, games/tv/movies to get my mind off it and wait it out, meeting new people, etc.

I really think finding something else that you can make tangible progress in in in the meantime (not necessarily girl related but it might be something that you could show and teach girls some day) is something you might want to consider again, at least just for this short time... and if you get a new lead then feel free to drop that and go back to women!
Always a good idea. There's a lot of things on my list that I'd like to learn but the problem is time! The virus didn't affect work, and now it's getting even busier. A good chunk of my free time is spent working out multiple days a week (plus I'm going to add more days when gyms open back up), then basically all the free time I have left is devoted to studying seduction (such as the Super Seducer game).

However, once the world returns to normal and I can get a feel for what my usual routine will look like for the long-term, I'll be able to see what free time remaining I do have and add a new activity or two accordingly.

Thanks man!
 

Mr.Rob

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@ElderPrice

Yeah look man I'm not mad at you for feeling depressed from having forces outside your control put a halt to your progress. I can totally get how that would get you down and I think any ordinary person would have that same response.

But I don't think you want to be ordinary. I think your goal ultimately is EXTRA-ordinary and if that is your intent then I would challenge you that you can achieve a more resilient and positive mindset/inner game perspective.

When I first got into pickup I had constant emotional ups and downs and depression and self-doubt at every little hiccup at the start of my journey... but about 6 months in I was constantly reading biographies of some of the greatest men in history and compared myself to my heroes and was like "this is pathetic, there are great powerful men that have handled WAY more than this and not blink. I can do better". (with regards to great men in history read books like "Endurance" by Alfred Lansing or "Back in the Fight" by Joseph Kapacziewski or "Can't Hurt Me" by David Goggins or "Man's Search For Meaning" by Victor Frankl or "An Unfinished Life" by Robert Dallek) So I spent an inordinate amount of time and pain/effort reprogramming my brain to the point where every setback I encountered or bad blow I got dealt I got to the point where I retrained my brain to not be phased emotionally by the ups and downs... like not at all. Every setback was like "no problem I'll handle it" and every win no matter how microscopic was like "fuck yes another step closer to victory, I can practically taste it!".

The problem with getting depressed and bummed out is that it kills your winner effect. You get in this weird "loser effect" and then your dominance, testosterone, hustle, and discipline all take a hit and its an uphill battle to get it back at that point. Much better to just not lose it in the first place.

The key of course all lies in how you interpret "bad" events and reframe them as why its something easy to handle and a positive for you to train your "emotional immune system". This is a few parts to it: 1) Mental toughness ("NP, I can handle whatever" 2) gratitude/self-acknowledgement (keep positivity high) 3) responsibility/power (its my fault vs I'm a victim).

Overall as a whole I think your a pretty positive person mostly. But you have a tendency to get bummed out on things that should really be celebration of progress. And then I'm scratching my head like "why does this post read so bummed out if its a success?" Or more recently "why can't EP handle this small setback? He should have this in the bag."

You crush it it in the physical discipline game and pushing boundaries. Your mental game should be just as strong. I think you can become someone where every success you have in the opposite direction of being a virgin for life is cause for massive celebration and any temporary setback is nothing in comparison to what you've already overcome.

While I agree its your own personal journal you can write how you want but you gotta think its also a public journal and whether you realize it or not you have a following that regularly reads your journal. Your basically a hero of a story. How do you want your readers to think about the hero?

As heroic/inspiring/unstoppable? Or ordinary?

You see a funny thing happens when you force yourself to write your story in the way you'd want the hero to be seen as... you actually start thinking that way in real life because you realize that what you wrote is an actual real way you could view and tackle your situation. When you realize this then you'll take on that new demeanor of the character you just wrote.

It's actually pretty freakin cool when you do that. Try it out.

Anyway I've spent too long already writing this, I was hoping it would make the case that I think your operating mentally below your potential without being too harsh or overly critical or alienating but not too sure how successful I was in that.

Definitely @Seppuku should maybe taper me back a bit if I'm wrong or being overly harsh. Tbh I do have an issue letting myself get triggered when I see men get depressed over 1st world problems these days. Idk I guess after all I've been through I just don't relate at all anymore. That's more my problem and something I need to work on and perhaps be more empathetic towards. So if I was too overly critical or hard, well sorry.

That said I stand by what I said and wouldn't have taken the time to say it if I didn't think you were capable of greater greatness. I don't have time to go rewrite this to make it less offensive/alienating but just know the time I took out of my day to write this was all love brother.

-Rob
 

ElderPrice

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@Mr.Rob

My man that wasn't even close to harsh!

Everything you said makes sense. There's nothing one could object to. Honestly, I don't know how to respond.

I mean, you're right, and I feel like I'm aware of the points you made. Like, I could have told you I'm definitely not right to whatever extent on the inside. I don't really know how to proceed. It feels like an even bigger project than seduction and without any clear map on how to rewire the brain. Is there some sort of step by step resource that you recommend or are aware of?

Thanks man - I greatly appreciate your support and feedback.
 

Mr.Rob

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I mean, you're right, and I feel like I'm aware of the points you made. Like, I could have told you I'm definitely not right to whatever extent on the inside. I don't really know how to proceed. It feels like an even bigger project than seduction and without any clear map on how to rewire the brain.
Yeah I know the feeling of that being an overwhelming task. Its kind of like when you pull your christmas decorations down and all the lights are tangled in a birdsnest and you have to figure out how to unravel the impossible looking thing. But just like you unravel christmas lights one thread at a time so do you do the same with your mental game. Once you start making progress it gets much easier as with the lights example as well, until you get to the point its pretty much done and you have built new neuropathway's to replace the old ones.

My bootcamp instructor called this "replacing your bitch ass neuropathway's with gangster neuropathway's" XD

To be fair you're already well underway in this process. Compare where you were at mentally today with where you were 2 years ago. I'm sure there's a pretty big disparity between the two no?

You just have a bit further left to go still and maybe if I can shed a bit of light on the right path forward you'll be able to feel like you can make ground much quicker. (No promises remember my advice is probably worth what you pay for it ;p

Before I go more into the practical "how to", perhaps I'll elaborate on the benefits briefly. Friends and women in my life often remark at how capable and unfazed I seem when I encounter hard or challenging situations that throw most people for loop. Women especially find this an attractive trait. Where boyfriends of their past may have reacted by getting upset or needing a shoulder to mourn on I simply just roll confidently forward despite setbacks and tribulations. When things/situations that faze most people don't faze you others view you as the one who is in control and knows what to do. Its seen as powerful and shows strong leadership.

Every girl wants a man who isn't deterred by adversity and always knows the best path forward.

Is there some sort of step by step resource that you recommend or are aware of?
No I don't. Chase's articles on depression and anxiety are good. But you don't need a step by step resource as much as to just be aware and proactively choose your thought processes rather than have your thought processes be chosen for you.

It's a bit of a few aspects all into one.

Mental Toughness and Resilliency

This is taking the attitude of "I can handle whatever comes up and every challenge is an opportunity for growth. I need pain and adversity in order to become my best self. Let me find a way to use this situation for my benefit" Again I highly recommend reading stories of great men that have endured and overcome much more adversity than you've ever faced. (Check out those book recommendations I mentioned.)

When you read stories of great men that have endured and overcome wwaaaayyy larger challenges than what you face you say "wow thats incredible they can handle that??!! I'm such a pussy in comparison complaining or feeling bummed about my situation. Shoot I can totally handle this little measly challenge!" Also in these books you'll pick up how these men mentally react to setbacks and adversity. Seek to emulate those reactions/thought processes in yourself.

A good way to build this in a practical manner is by making a habit of putting yourself in uncomfortable situations and pain. For the first few years getting into pickup I used exercise not just to get into shape and look good but also build mental toughness. I was always trying to come up with hardcore workouts just to push my inner bitch to shrink just a little bit more. For a while every set I did was to failure... and then I'd immediately pickup a lighter weight and do that set to failure... and then a lighter weight. No breaks.

I hated running so I'd make myself do sprints up and down the road or run a 5K randomly.

Wake up early and take cold showers. Give up eating dessert and comfort food. Work hard 14+ hour days. Deactivate your bullshit social media apps and online BS distractions that waste your life.

I'd go up and approach the toughest sets in daygame (such as a girl walking on her phone in a hurry) and nightgame (I had a habit of approaching girls who were at the bar with another guy and interrupt their conversation and start hitting on the girl).

I'd go do an array of absolutely ridiculous social freedom exercises such walk up to some random person at walmart and take their grocery items out of their cart and put it into mine and say "ah thanks I'd been looking everywhere for those".(I'd of course return their items with a smile). Or going into Best Buy and haggling for 30 minutes with a sales clerk to get $100 off a TV and then walking out once they came down on their price.

After doing some ridiculous stunts like that how could I possibly be affected by any rejection that might come my way at the club?

Practiced Positivity
The second aspect of this is reframing bad situations as positive. This takes training but can be done.

When I first got into self-development I was an entirely a negative person. I always saw the bad in things happening to me and reasons why I couldn't get ahead.

My first introduction to self help was a book by Andy Andrews called "The Travelers Gift" (highly recommended. actually this book inspired me to write an article for GC that Chase was kind enough to publish entitled: 7 Decisions All Successful Seducers Make.) Anyway the book tells the story of a man going through the worst time in his life and interpretting everything as bad. Throughout the book the hero meets 7 people who each teach the man a decision that he must make in order to pull himself out of his fucked up life. One of the decisions is "choose to be grateful/happy" and talks about how you have the choice to choose your thoughts and stay away from the quicksands of negativity and choose think in a way that is forward moving, looking for solutions rather than focusing on problems, and see abundance rather than scarcity.

After reading this book I went on a crusade to entirely change my thinking to match similar to how the books outlines. I put a rubber band around my wrist and patrolled my mind with a watchful and constant eye to stomp out negativity. Every time I caught myself having negative thoughts or reacting to situations in a bummed out or depressed way I'd snap that rubber band as hard as I could and replace that negative thought sequence by choosing a positive, more empowered thought sequence.

It didn't mean I'd actually feel less depressed or negative but I'd successfully stopped the negative thought loop from taking over. Over time of doing this process for about 7 months (I got rid of the rubber band after about a month or so but continued the discipline) I'd had completely reversed and trained my brain so that every little setback or nuisance I'd encounter I'd out of habit/training instantly see the situation as a positive.

I.e. Girl rejects me --> "Phew wow. Haha I kooked that one. Man I've got quite a set of balls on me to try that in broad day light. Fuck yeah just got my first approach out of the way. OK time to get serious. Now that I'm warmed up this next approach will go good. Lets see here."

Car gets towed after a long day at work --> "Ouch fuck.... Well I guess statistically bad things are bound to happen from time to time in an unfair imprefect world. Looks like I'm walking home to tonight." (proceed to sing a song about how fucked my life is until I start laughing and get over it)

Work my ass off to get into a prestigious collegiate program and get denied --> "Man that's too bad. But I knew going in there was no guarantee and I wasn't as good enough to beat the competition. This is my fault. If I would've just cut 2 hours of sleep out for the last week to work on my presentation and interview skills I probably could've gotten in. Fuck it that was a practice run. I'm reapplying for next semester and going through that whole process again. They'll know Im the most serious candidate that;s ever applied."

Thinking Forward Rather Than Backward

Most people when they encounter setbacks their mind shuts off and all they see is their hardwork and "what could've been". Extraordinary people encounter a setback and their mind fires up with creative solutions to overcome it (because they know their goal is certain and aren;t going to let anything stop their forward progression.)

For you when the shut down occurred your leads all dried up and you started feeling depressed because you couldn't go out and talk to girls anymore to continue your progress that you were oh so close to achieving. Then your brain shut down and you (for the moment) accepted defeat. (Loser effect kicks in, Testosterone declines, and depression ramps up).

What if instead you saw the shutdown as just a mere change of circumstance and thought "OK this sucks but Im not going to let this stop me from making progress on my goals... Lets see what opportunities can I exploit to practice seduction on actual girls. Well all these girls are locked up and bored and horny as can be. Thats an opportunity! OK I live in the most insanely connected age ever with internet and cell phones. That;s awesome! There's got to be a way I can make this work???"

Want to hear 4 creative solutions I just thought up off the top of my head?

1. Sign up for the premium of the best chatroullete site and practice Alek Rolstads sex talk to make girls horny and try and get them to show me their tits
2. Pay for the cheapest call service with lives girls that dirty talk on the other line and tell them to act normal and let you seduce them and try to lead her through a compliance loop that gets her masturbating on the other side of the line while YOU talk dirty to her
3. Sign up and do Lockdown Coaching With GirlsChase (where you actually go on virtual dates and do approaches on hot live models and practice a variety of GC tech all the while getting custom feedback from one of our GirlsChase coaches)
4. Call into American customer service lines at hip young millenial companies and pose as a customer with a few questions but try and take the convo more connection/sexual and see if you can get her to do a skype call with you when she gets off work (I used to have a friend in sales who'd always throw away any lead that had an attractive sounding girl on the other line to try and seduce her into doing a skype call for personal)

Sure its not as good as the real thing but successful and mentally strong people persist without exception. (Read "The Travelers Gift" for more on that). Like a good marine you adapt and overcome in the most resourceful way you can.

Wrapping Up

Moving forward I gave you a lot to chew on here but its really not as much as I wrote and made it out to be (I'm a bit verbose tonight)

The main thing this all boils down to is the following:

1. Read books of great men who have endured/overcome WAY more than you + books on mental toughness/positivity (I gave you like 8+ total now. All books that are 8/10 or better). --> Seek to replicate their thought processes and reaction to adversity.

2. Make a habit out of putting yourself in uncomfortable/painful situations.

3. Become aware of negative/unproductive thought loops and replace by forcing yourself to think of a more positive optimistic way of reframing the interpretation of that event. (This point is probably the most important actually) (read
Chase's article on depression for more on this technique)

4. Train your brain in any setback or nuisance you encounter to immediately start coming up with solutions to overcome the challenge

5. Accept that life is hard and unfair. Accept the fact that statistically speaking some fucked up shit is going to happen to you at some point. Don;t be surprised when shit does happen and just "handle it anyway".

Follow these steps and I think in no time you'll be leaps and bounds ahead of most ordinary people out there.

It takes some serious grit, will power, and discipline to reach a level where it becomes automatic but with some persistence it can be achieved.

Don't expect to be perfect at it, just seek to improve and do 10% better than where your currently at. Even if you just improved this area by 25% you'll see it bleed over into everything you do.

I can't tell you how important and vital having a strong mind has done for me over the years. One of the best investments of time and goals I'm most proud of looking back on it.

With this strong mental foundation is has allowed me to succeed and overcome so much that most ordinary people would've thrown the towel in on. To ordinary people on the outside you seem like to have a super hero like ability that men and women alike will praise you for and look to you for guidance.

It allowed me to go through painfully slow learning curve in seduction and enjoy every step of the journey as long as I was able to make even just microscopic improvements.

But most importantly it was the most necessary preparation for becoming sick, disabled, and seeing my life crumble before my eyes. Most people that get ME/CFS lose their brains (just browse through the many posts of desperation and loss of hope on the CFS reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/cfs/). This mental fortitude has allowed me being 70% bedbound over the past 4.5 years to hold onto hope, stay out of the pits of depression, and develop a strong plan to move forward and eventually succeed despite these heavy limitations.

Again I'll reiterate. This year my dick started to actually work for the first time really since 2016 and on a one of my good day I could roll out and go pickup some girls after having not been laid since July 2017. I was so excited to go out to the beach and touch and flirt with hot girls, you have no idea!!! Then coronavirus hit and even though where I live the beaches have opened back up I probably won;t be able to go socialize for another 12 months until a vaccine is developed since I'm immune compromised and can't risk getting this stupid virus.

That would cause depression in any ordinary person. Me? Well I've gone this long whats another year. There's guys serving life in solitary confinement that will never see a woman the rest of their lives. I can wait another year. Actually Im glad the coronavirus hit because now I have ZERO distractions from working on my business and career. Perfect I'm a winner.

I think if this is something that appeals to you Elder Price that you could easily get to a similar point. Youre already half way there you just need a little change in perspective to get you over the hump.

But do try this out and keep in mind when writing in your journal moving forward. You don;t need to be perfect or feel like you cant ever vent if your frustrated (though challenge yourself not to). Just try to become more aware and once you do you'll start naturally seeing how you can change this and flip things around so you build an indominitable winner effect that skyrockets you past roadblocks and to your goals.

Cheers and here's to overcoming those setbacks,

-Rob
 

ElderPrice

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@Mr.Rob

Thank you for taking the time to write such a lengthy and helpful reply. At first as I was reading it, I thought 'surely he's just copying and pasting something he's written before,' but then it became apparent this was a specific, tailored reply for me. So thank you, sincerely.

So yeah again I don't really know how to respond! Other than obviously taking your advice and trying my best to incorporate everything.

Fortunately, since I'm already aware of the concepts and ideas you mentioned, this isn't starting from zero. I think your xmas analogy is good - it's just a matter of slowly making progress, as long as the xmas lights are getting less tangled over time instead of more tangled.

Since your concepts are familiar to me, I was trying to think and possibly pinpoint where the current challenge point is. As in, if I'm familiar with a lot of these ideas and try to do them anyway, what's the hold up? What's the sticking point? And after reflecting, I think for me it's a larger, broader mindset issue. There are times, when confronted with higher than normal negative stress, that my mind just defaults into pussy mode. Or stated differently, it just drops the 'I'm a strong, resilient, in-control man' internal frame. I think this happens because it's a new frame - or really a way of life - that of course I'm trying to adopt within the last few years, but there's still going to be flashes of the old mentality until it's literally 100% adopted.

I've noticed this on a few separate occasions:
- Seduction, when crashing hard into a cold streak, like what prompted our exchange here. The weak brain starts freaking out and lets the negative emotions drive the bus.
- Blood draws. Usually not a big deal, but sometimes the weak brain freaks out and lets the negativity drive the bus.
- Sales, another kind of cold streak. The weak brain starts freaking out an lets the negative emotions drive the bus.

So I think I'm noticing a pattern. An albeit kinda rare one, but a pattern. For the ones that weren't seduction related, I was able to get through them not with specific exercises per se (like, there's not many alternative solutions to blood draws. If the doc needs some blood, the doc needs some blood!), but with forcing my brain to cling to the frame that I'm a strong, resilient, in-control man. Or for sales, clinging to the frame that my product is good and it's just a standard cold streak. Forcing that frame, or making sure my brain didn't drop it, cleared up a lot of the negativity, or at least made it much more manageable. I think it's just been a little tougher forcing that frame with regards to seduction, but it looks like a similar issue to me.

Anyway, I don't know if that made sense, but my point is, I think I definitely need to work on not letting my standard 'strength' frame sink like a stone when whacked with some significant, out of the blue negativity. The frame needs to hold ALL THE TIME like you were getting at.

So in part to wrap up and in part to just make a list, here's all the seduction things I'm working on right now:
- Continue working on eye contact - don't be the first to break
- Continue working on eye contact - do better holding it while doing the speaking
- Continue working on slight half smile, rather than normal smile
- Continue working through Super Seducer
- Go through all the content
- Play through it multiple times so all the contents stick, so I actually remember them in the field
- Work on holding the internal frame when confronted with strong negativity as discussed in this post
- Then incorporate the specific tactics mentioned in this exchange to continue making progress 'unwiring the xmas lights'
- Work on writing journal entries more uhhh, heroically? Not sure on the best term to use here, but you know what I mean!
- Read a book that Rob recommended :p
- Read up on testing. I suspect that in interactions, I'm failing tests left and right but just don't see them
- Continue pelvic floor exercises for medical issue, and to hopefully greatly improve Elder Jr's sensitivity

Thanks again @Mr.Rob!
 

ElderPrice

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6/7/20 No update

Still in the iciest of cold streaks.

So taking Rob's sound advice, I will make this a positive post. I will do so by listing the compliments I have received from girls in recent memory. Most of them, if not all of them, I've heard multiple times.

- You're a great conversationalist!
- You're hot!
- Someone's been working out / You look buff!
- You're hilarious!
- You're a great dancer!
- You're so persistent!
 

Mr.Rob

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Dang man how do you keep it together so well during tough times? Your crushing it out there.

P.S. Relief should be coming soon. The beaches where I live in Florida have been flooded and parties in full force. Keep your head up bro
 

Mondo

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Hey man, I just spent some time skimming through yours journey and I’m impressed.

You’ve got the heart for it man, and I believe you will reach your goals because you’ve been putting in serious effort consistently. Almost brings a tear to my eye, I’m so proud.

You’ve got some seriously good guys giving you advice and rooting for you, so keep up the good work!
 

ElderPrice

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Dang man how do you keep it together so well during tough times? Your crushing it out there.

P.S. Relief should be coming soon. The beaches where I live in Florida have been flooded and parties in full force. Keep your head up bro
Thank you sir! To clarify, this cold streak isn't referring to being quarantined. It's referring to going out and approaching! Restrictions are mostly lifted so there's been nightlife for a couple weeks now!
 

ElderPrice

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Hey man, I just spent some time skimming through yours journey and I’m impressed.

You’ve got the heart for it man, and I believe you will reach your goals because you’ve been putting in serious effort consistently. Almost brings a tear to my eye, I’m so proud.

You’ve got some seriously good guys giving you advice and rooting for you, so keep up the good work!
Thank you my friend! I can't tell you how much it helps knowing that others are following my progress and rooting for me. Seriously. I can't wait to post some big wins for all of you!
 

Mr.Rob

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To clarify, this cold streak isn't referring to being quarantined. It's referring to going out and approaching! Restrictions are mostly lifted so there's been nightlife for a couple weeks now!
Awesome to hear! No excuses then, you'll get back in a groove soon.
 

Mr.Rob

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Yo the video I posted is long but goes into 2 concepts relevant to our recent discussion. 1) Reticular Activation System concept with regards to what you focus on AND 2) "You Go First" concept where in any social interaction to make sure you're giving the good vibe/emotions you want her to feel BONUS 3) Mental Toughness stuff

Its not a how to as much as it is a good reminder and examples of what we discussed. Owen's not for everyone and not everyone resonates with him (his older content was waayy better) but he's one of my favorite teachers along with Chase (who is radically different in their content/approach).

Food for thought for getting out of your rut now that you're back in action.
 

ElderPrice

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Shit I've forgotten how amazing Owen and his videos are. He's definitely my favorite self-helf/seducer to watch. Half way through this video so far. Thanks for the suggestion! I haven't been looking for RSD videos for a while since their forum shutdown/rebranding thing.
 

Rain

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There is one thing in your journey that continues to puzzle me. You are getting more than your fair share of "dead corpses". Inevitably there will be cases when the two meet and find out there's just no chemistry. I have my share of cases like this. But the majority of the time your girl must be coming with a positive disposition towards you. She freed up some time and went the trouble of dressing up and coming all the way. All that for a guy she doesn't like? Strange. You should have at least 50% of your girls coming to the date with positive intentions.

So if I'm right, there's something in your vibe that is turning her off? Anxiety, stress? Nervousness? Or are you naturally "cold" in person? Sorry man, just speculating because I don't know you personally. In any case, the vibe should be extremely relaxed and flirty. You must appear to be in control. She must be comfortable with you.

Also note that in the past, I suspected congruence issues could be a factor.

Not sure. The vibe is also a big thing. I don't really have conversation routines. I just get her to talk about her, keep a laid back and cool vibe, and start touching her gently while she speaks. Nothing complicated. But the overall mood turns sexy very quickly. It's nothing I specifically say.
To ElderPrince,

I haven't read the whole thread, but alot of my online, and some[but limited experience] cold approach dates do end up not going anywhere. So you're not alone.

For the online, part of that would be the maybe not looking as good as photo or the vibe in your photo. Also, vibe can be different from online chat, texting or even phone call, to how you are in person, so its a different experience. That might be playing a role, I dont know how you compare to your online photos.

A few from cold approach that met up in person, went no where. One was even met at her house and she had a low cut top, put moves on her, got nothing. Don't know why[maybe some women lack experience to say no or bored and have guys over anyway, or maybe my vibe, don't know]. I did have a chance with 3x others from cold approach[one I met, others I can tell via text] but I wasn't that keen so left it.

When Seppuku wrote about you have more than the average "dead corpse" , I have experienced that too and wanted to share it with you. I guess more so about the online as I'd been on 100s that went no where, but not all were like that, some did go somewhere! Also have gotten cold approach numbers[legit as called on their phone] and never hear or get one message then silence.

Do you have any feedback on your vibe? From online, I think I've had sometimes told its awkward. But I don't know if its a photos not matching from online, so zero interest from them anyway, and/or a vibe thing. eg awkward silence or awkward conversation. or awkward bodylanguage or shy/nervous/face tense.
 

ElderPrice

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To ElderPrince,

I haven't read the whole thread, but alot of my online, and some[but limited experience] cold approach dates do end up not going anywhere. So you're not alone.

For the online, part of that would be the maybe not looking as good as photo or the vibe in your photo. Also, vibe can be different from online chat, texting or even phone call, to how you are in person, so its a different experience. That might be playing a role, I dont know how you compare to your online photos.

A few from cold approach that met up in person, went no where. One was even met at her house and she had a low cut top, put moves on her, got nothing. Don't know why[maybe some women lack experience to say no or bored and have guys over anyway, or maybe my vibe, don't know]. I did have a chance with 3x others from cold approach[one I met, others I can tell via text] but I wasn't that keen so left it.

When Seppuku wrote about you have more than the average "dead corpse" , I have experienced that too and wanted to share it with you. I guess more so about the online as I'd been on 100s that went no where, but not all were like that, some did go somewhere! Also have gotten cold approach numbers[legit as called on their phone] and never hear or get one message then silence.

Do you have any feedback on your vibe? From online, I think I've had sometimes told its awkward. But I don't know if its a photos not matching from online, so zero interest from them anyway, and/or a vibe thing. eg awkward silence or awkward conversation. or awkward bodylanguage or shy/nervous/face tense.
Hi Rain! Great question. Vibe, at least for me, has been very tricky to work on because it's been one of those things that I think I'm doing right when I'm in the moment. But the more I've reflected, the more confident I am that my vibe has not been where it needed to be on all the dates to nowhere, or with all the girls that acted like corpses.

Also, a guy friend of mine who's not too shabby with women recently told me my constant vibe screams boyfriend. He's not an expert, and when I ran his thoughts by some other male friends who aren't experts they didn't entirely agree, but I found his comment fascinating. He didn't just say I have a little bit of a boyfriend vibe. He said it SCREAMS boyfriend. This has helped me to reflect more on what kind of vibe I'm indeed putting out there.

A successful vibe of course must be seductive. Like how Pierce Brosnan or George Clooney or James Dean would act if with a girl they wanted to be alone with. In retrospect, while I was trying my hardest to emanate this vibe, I don't think it wasn't being created in the attempts mentioned previously in this journal. Most of the conversation would be deep diving, which is good to connect deeper with a girl, but alone won't get you anywhere near seducing her. IE. Hard to picture James Bond deep diving a girl for an hour. Or really anything that isn't seductive - even laughing hard if she says something funny.

So the next date opportunity I get, my plan going into it, generally speaking is:
- Work that seduction vibe, and don't let it ease up.
- Cut back on the deep diving and questions, and replace with flirting and fun, playful conversation.
- If it doesn't seem like any of this is working, don't drop it. Keep it and give the girl another shot to 'follow' along. If she just won't, then be ready to walk out. If she's not there to be seduced by me, then I have no reason to give her more of my time.
- Location: I want to take a break from sitting and talking for 30-60 minutes. Let's try being on the move to help with building compliance. Can always sit down at the end if it feels helpful.
- Location: If there's absolutely no way to avoid meeting to sit and talk for 30-60 minutes, try finding better, more seductive atmospheres than average coffee shops. If I drank, I'd try to find more dive bars, for example.

Hope that helps!
 
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