LR 
First cold approach lay since leaving a 2 year committed relationship

Atlas IV

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
May 21, 2023
Messages
91
Hey all. New to the forum, old to GC. I've been practicing game on and off since 2019, though honestly never got particularly good at it besides daytime cold approaches Tom Torero style (RIP).

During Covid, I, like many other suckers, ended up stuck in a relationship that I didn’t completely want to be in. I broke things off last week, and now I’m back in the field. Still struggling with AA, but fortunately I had one very early success last night thanks in LARGE part to Teevster’s treasure trove on sexual framing and sex gambits.

Anyway, while out daygaming a few days ago, I received an IOI from this cute girl who was waiting for a taxi on the street. Walked over to her and delivered a direct opener which was well-received, which was followed by stacking assumptions - "You don't look Thai at all, I'm going to guess something more exotic. Iranian?" Half Thai-French, as it turns out. Continued with stacking and chit-chat, but the interaction was cut short as her taxi arrived. We exchanged Instagrams (thought I had made a critical mistake here as I did not explicitly ask her out).

Pinged her after Valentine’s Day and established some rapport via text. Turns out we are both avid travellers with remote jobs, AND she also just broke up with a boyfriend of two years (I could hardly believe my luck!). I quickly arranged a date - drinks at a chill rooftop bar not too far from my place.

Before the date, I had been studying @Teevster's articles on sexual framing and sex gambits, and I intended to make full use of these. Sexual framing has always been a weakness for me, and I think one of the main causes for my lack of success in the past. I have always relied heavily on physical escalation which, while powerful in itself, does not convey the level of understanding of sexuality that I now realise girls actually crave.

Meeting at the first venue, we spent about two hours chatting. I learned that she works for a humanitarian organisation and is very passionate about human rights, etc. This posed a challenge as her frame was quite strong and she kept gravitating the conversation back to that stuff, while I was probing to find a pathway to transitioning into sexual topics. An opportunity came when the conversation turned to France, and so I mentioned how I admire the French for being the centre of the sexual liberation movement. She agreed, but said she thinks they are “too open” about that. I took this as an indication that she is not ready for such topics yet, and so I changed the subject.

Later, I bounced her to a second venue, a similar bar but one a little more intimate. At this point there had been no escalation of any sort and eye contact was weak from her, so I had little hopes for a successful pull. Still, sometimes a simple change in venue can work as a psychological reset. This time, I decided to be bold and try some of Alek’s gambits, specifically this one about threesomes.

Wow, it worked like voodoo!

The very mention of threesomes sent her into a completely different state. She talked about her craziest sexual experiences, and I shared some of mine. At this point, I could tell she was starting to see me as a lover.

After returning to some more general conversation, I threw another gambit at her, then immediately extended it:

“You know what I find fascinating?”
“What”?
(Pregnant pause) “The female anatomy! From a male perspective, it’s so much more complex and profound. There are simply so many ways to make a woman orgasm. As a man, it’s honestly a constant learning experience for me!”

She LOVED that.

I decided to be careful though not to overdo the sex talk, so I was conscious of returning to regular topics in between before pulling her in with another gambit. As the conversation turned to travel:

“You know, I was in the Philippines recently too. There’s something they have there that Thailand doesn’t have, and it really surprised me. You know what it is?”
“What?”
(Another pause) “Sex toys! In the Philippines there are so many sex toy shops, yet in Thailand they’re illegal! Isn’t that crazy when there’s such a massive sex industry here?”

Again, she ate it up. She told me about how she used to work part-time at a sex toy shop in university. From there we talked about dildos, BDSM, and the customers she used to serve. She told me she’s into a very specific kind of Japanese bondage.

I could not have been more pleased with the direction of the conversation at this point! It was obvious that she was into me. After coming back from the bathroom, she stopped to talk with one of the male staff. When she later came over, she said “Sorry about that. He’s a friend of my ex, just so you know. It’s nothing else.” Green light! She also at one point of intense eye contact told me I had beautiful eyes.

At this point it was midnight and the bar was closing. I decided to go for the pull.
“Well, this place is closing up. Listen, I’ve got a half-finished bottle of wine at mine. What do you say we head back and polish it off?”

She giggled and said that while she doesn’t drink wine, she’ll come.

We held hands in the taxi, and I realised this was the first real physical contact we had all evening! To this moment, my mind is blown by the power of sexual framing. I’m such a bloody idiot, how did I go FIVE YEARS without ever bothering to work with this stuff!?

The rest is history at this point. I knew there would be zero LMR. We got back to mine, I escalated on the couch after about 10 minutes:
(Taking her hand at pointing to her tattoos) “Come here, let me examine you closer.”
(She straddles me) “This close enough for you?”
“Perfect!”

I began to kiss her all over, breathing in her scent, telling her how good she smells. She was 100% into it.

I stripped her, picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. She immediately started by going down on me (holy crap, that was the best BJ I’ve had in two years!)

I caressed her breasts and began to rub her clitoris. Boy, was she wet! I pointed it out and she apologised for it. I said “No, I like it”. Funny how girls think getting wet is a bad thing!

I put on the condom and she got on all fours. Took her from behind, later finished in missionary with her moaning and scratching my back.

Takeaways:

- Sex talk is incredibly powerful, but I need to work on transitioning into sex-adjacent topics, especially earlier in the conversation.
- Although it worked well this time, I think the key is to alternate sex talk with physical escalation, as some girls respond better to one or the other (her being French was surely a component in why she responded this way).
- I do need to work generally on frame control. Letting her take the frame to talk about humanitarian shit for so long really wasn’t conducive to the lay at all, and I think I could have expedited the seduction by wresting back control of the conversation.
 
Last edited:

Karea Ricardus D.

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
626
Hey man, we're in the same boat, I broke up with my GF last week and back to cold approach. Sounds like you're in Bangkok? I'll probably stop by there for a few days next month before heading to some other places in the country. Shoot me a PM and let me know your plans if you want.

I find it interesting that she rejected the early sexual frames, even though later you found out she was obviously an extremely sexual girl. She worked at a sex shop! She's into bondage! But "the French are too sexually liberal". Women sometimes crack me up man.

It makes me think she just wasn't quite sure you're really all that open minded about it early on. She was still worried you might be a bit judgmental (not because of a mistake you made, but because most guys secretly are). I try to get into some subtle sexual positivity in the first 10 minutes or so.
To this moment, my mind is blown by the power of sexual framing. I’m such a bloody idiot, how did I go FIVE YEARS without ever bothering to work with this stuff!?
Yeah, nothing else comes close. My mentor actually said it's the ONLY thing required lol. He literally said "empty your mind of everything else." I'm not at that level yet, but I have a feeling he's right and you could literally just do chit chat + tight sexual framing and clean up totally.

I agree with your 3 takeaways at the end as well. Girls these days are incredibly opinionated about all kinds of stupid shit they read in the media or on fucking Instagram... I agree we just have to keep grabbing the threads and steering the conversation.

Great stuff man. Welcome to the boards.
 

Atlas IV

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
May 21, 2023
Messages
91
Hey man, we're in the same boat, I broke up with my GF last week and back to cold approach. Sounds like you're in Bangkok? I'll probably stop by there for a few days next month before heading to some other places in the country. Shoot me a PM and let me know your plans if you want.
Wow, hey Ricardus! I'm actually honoured that my first reply is from you. Many of your articles were so instrumental in my early growth. I've also been following your journal about your recent return to game. Cool to see you back in action!

Yep, I'm in Bangkok till April, then off to Brazil. It would be awesome to meet if we can! I'll PM you with my details.

I find it interesting that she rejected the early sexual frames, even though later you found out she was obviously an extremely sexual girl. She worked at a sex shop! She's into bondage! But "the French are too sexually liberal". Women sometimes crack me up man.

It makes me think she just wasn't quite sure you're really all that open minded about it early on. She was still worried you might be a bit judgmental (not because of a mistake you made, but because most guys secretly are). I try to get into some subtle sexual positivity in the first 10 minutes or so.
Yeah it was a little confusing to me, but I think you're right. Girls just assume men are going to judge them, so they're hesitant to open up about the topic of sex too quickly. She did grow up in Quebec though, so it's possible she was just saying that as a proud Canadian and as a slight against the French lol.

Yeah, nothing else comes close. My mentor actually said it's the ONLY thing required lol. He literally said "empty your mind of everything else." I'm not at that level yet, but I have a feeling he's right and you could literally just do chit chat + tight sexual framing and clean up totally.
It's definitely fun and keeps things fresh. There are so many interesting gambits on this forum that I haven't even tried yet. The most difficult part is knowing when to first attempt a transition. I've thought about reading 50 Shades of Grey and using knowledge of that as a smooth way to switch from generic book-related chit-chat into talking about sex from the woman's perspective. Might give it a try if I have the time and patience to actually read it.

I agree with your 3 takeaways at the end as well. Girls these days are incredibly opinionated about all kinds of stupid shit they read in the media or on fucking Instagram... I agree we just have to keep grabbing the threads and steering the conversation.
Yup, especially in Asia. Everybody is so glued to social media it's sickening. Every guy I've met here seems to rely on the apps to meet girls, but the apps are total shit for me and productivity draining. I'm fully dedicated to cold approach at this point.

Great stuff man. Welcome to the boards.
Thanks man, really glad to be here!
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
4,277
Location
South Florida
Hey all. New to the forum, old to GC. I've been practicing game on and off since 2019, though honestly never got particularly good at it besides daytime cold approaches Tom Torero style (RIP).

During Covid, I, like many other suckers, ended up stuck in a relationship that I didn’t completely want to be in. I broke things off last week, and now I’m back in the field. Still struggling with AA, but fortunately I had one very early success last night thanks in LARGE part to Teevster’s treasure trove on sexual framing and sex gambits.
Welcome, yeah that is gold... Recently had to banned a dude from private group saying teevester stuff does not work...

Anyway, while out daygaming a few days ago, I received an IOI from this cute girl who was waiting for a taxi on the street. Walked over to her and delivered a direct opener which was well-received, which was followed by stacking assumptions - "You don't look Thai at all, I'm going to guess something more exotic. Iranian?" Half Thai-French, as it turns out. Continued with stacking and chit-chat, but the interaction was cut short as her taxi arrived. We exchanged Instagrams (thought I had made a critical mistake here as I did not explicitly ask her out).

Pinged her after Valentine’s Day and established some rapport via text. Turns out we are both avid travellers with remote jobs, AND she also just broke up with a boyfriend of two years (I could hardly believe my luck!). I quickly arranged a date - drinks at a chill rooftop bar not too far from my place.
Pinging on valentines always works, i don't know why more people don't do that, i have been advocating that for years, pinging on holidays... i just revived about 4 leads on 10 seconds work...
Before the date, I had been studying @Teevster's articles on sexual framing and sex gambits, and I intended to make full use of these. Sexual framing has always been a weakness for me, and I think one of the main causes for my lack of success in the past. I have always relied heavily on physical escalation which, while powerful in itself, does not convey the level of understanding of sexuality that I now realise girls actually crave.
Physical game has come back but specially night game... In a dating situation on second venue is good to do a slight physical game and micro escalation and light flirting, the sexual framing has a stage during convos and dating were it has to be used to be more effective...
Meeting at the first venue, we spent about two hours chatting. I learned that she works for a humanitarian organisation and is very passionate about human rights, etc. This posed a challenge as her frame was quite strong and she kept gravitating the conversation back to that stuff, while I was probing to find a pathway to transitioning into sexual topics. An opportunity came when the conversation turned to France, and so I mentioned how I admire the French for being the centre of the sexual liberation movement. She agreed, but said she thinks they are “too open” about that. I took this as an indication that she is not ready for such topics yet, and so I changed the subject.

^ This was a mistake when you go on dates try to follow a structure for dates, review my post on how to date, 2 hours chatting about work is not a seductive topic you let her control that part of the date, which was a mistake you have to lead the structures and convos, yes you want to let her talk and deep dive but you got a be the conductor, also you really don't want an over 90 minutes dates that is danger territory in most cases.... Ideally like per post, you want to meet in low pressure place like coffee shop/ice cream/tea etc... and bounce to a different walking venue, this you do when you see convos like the one you had going no where, (ideally you want to bounce them 5 to 15 minutes post meeting).... Finally, when she said to open, was NOT and indication that she was no ready for such topics, you could have taking that and run with it into sexual framing.... Most times a slight pushback is not a translation on not to lunch into them, you just say "i envy you guys i don't think is a bad thing and then you lunch into any sexual topics"......... Transitioning is the PERCEIVE, hardest part but is not, you can get around that....
Later, I bounced her to a second venue, a similar bar but one a little more intimate. At this point there had been no escalation of any sort and eye contact was weak from her, so I had little hopes for a successful pull. Still, sometimes a simple change in venue can work as a psychological reset. This time, I decided to be bold and try some of Alek’s gambits, specifically this one about threesomes.

^ bingo and you should have done this wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy earlier....
Wow, it worked like voodoo!

The very mention of threesomes sent her into a completely different state. She talked about her craziest sexual experiences, and I shared some of mine. At this point, I could tell she was starting to see me as a lover.

After returning to some more general conversation, I threw another gambit at her, then immediately extended it:

“You know what I find fascinating?”
“What”?
(Pregnant pause) “The female anatomy! From a male perspective, it’s so much more complex and profound. There are simply so many ways to make a woman orgasm. As a man, it’s honestly a constant learning experience for me!”

She LOVED that.
^ awesome...
I decided to be careful though not to overdo the sex talk, so I was conscious of returning to regular topics in between before pulling her in with another gambit. As the conversation turned to travel:

“You know, I was in the Philippines recently too. There’s something they have there that Thailand doesn’t have, and it really surprised me. You know what it is?”
“What?”
(Another pause) “Sex toys! In the Philippines there are so many sex toy shops, yet in Thailand they’re illegal! Isn’t that crazy when there’s such a massive sex industry here?”

Again, she ate it up. She told me about how she used to work part-time at a sex toy shop in university. From there we talked about dildos, BDSM, and the customers she used to serve. She told me she’s into a very specific kind of Japanese bondage.

I could not have been more pleased with the direction of the conversation at this point! It was obvious that she was into me. After coming back from the bathroom, she stopped to talk with one of the male staff. When she later came over, she said “Sorry about that. He’s a friend of my ex, just so you know. It’s nothing else.” Green light! She also at one point of intense eye contact told me I had beautiful eyes.

Just pointing out you can fractionate, and go back to normal topics and transition back and also use your physical skills and combine everything...
At this point it was midnight and the bar was closing. I decided to go for the pull.
“Well, this place is closing up. Listen, I’ve got a half-finished bottle of wine at mine. What do you say we head back and polish it off?”

She giggled and said that while she doesn’t drink wine, she’ll come.
^ exellent as you can see it does not matter the excuse, they will come as long as you are not blatant in their face with come back to mine etc...
We held hands in the taxi, and I realised this was the first real physical contact we had all evening! To this moment, my mind is blown by the power of sexual framing. I’m such a bloody idiot, how did I go FIVE YEARS without ever bothering to work with this stuff!?

The rest is history at this point. I knew there would be zero LMR. We got back to mine, I escalated on the couch after about 10 minutes:
(Taking her hand at pointing to her tattoos) “Come here, let me examine you closer.”
(She straddles me) “This close enough for you?”
“Perfect!”

I began to kiss her all over, breathing in her scent, telling her how good she smells. She was 100% into it.

I stripped her, picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. She immediately started by going down on me (holy crap, that was the best BJ I’ve had in two years!)

I caressed her breasts and began to rub her clitoris. Boy, was she wet! I pointed it out and she apologised for it. I said “No, I like it”. Funny how girls think getting wet is a bad thing!

I put on the condom and she got on all fours. Took her from behind, later finished in missionary with her moaning and scratching my back.

Takeaways:

- Sex talk is incredibly powerful, but I need to work on transitioning into sex-adjacent topics, especially earlier in the conversation.
- Although it worked well this time, I think the key is to alternate sex talk with physical escalation, as some girls respond better to one or the other (her being French was surely a component in why she responded this way).
- I do need to work generally on frame control. Letting her take the frame to talk about humanitarian shit for so long really wasn’t conducive to the lay at all, and I think I could have expedited the seduction by wresting back control of the conversation.
^ you don't need to transition to sex talk early in the conversation, that would be a mistake sex talk is to do in mid game, after opening, hook, a bit of investment....... Not ideal to do in early stages, in early stages more normal things, such as deep dive, gm, cocky funny, or any pua material but not the juicy is stuff at the beginning, again not ideal..
 

Atlas IV

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
May 21, 2023
Messages
91
Welcome, yeah that is gold... Recently had to banned a dude from private group saying teevester stuff does not work...
That's insane, maybe he was a hardcore MM follower? I saw a recent video by Mystery and it seems like sex talk stuff still isn't really taught in that school.
Pinging on valentines always works, i don't know why more people don't do that, i have been advocating that for years, pinging on holidays... i just revived about 4 leads on 10 seconds work...
Yeah unfortunately I was stuck on a shitty date on Valentines Day. Halfway through I suddenly remembered @Chase's article about how Valentines Day is the easiest day of the year to get laid. Big missed opportunity there lol
^ This was a mistake when you go on dates try to follow a structure for dates, review my post on how to date, 2 hours chatting about work is not a seductive topic you let her control that part of the date, which was a mistake you have to lead the structures and convos, yes you want to let her talk and deep dive but you got a be the conductor, also you really don't want an over 90 minutes dates that is danger territory in most cases.... Ideally like per post, you want to meet in low pressure place like coffee shop/ice cream/tea etc... and bounce to a different walking venue, this you do when you see convos like the one you had going no where, (ideally you want to bounce them 5 to 15 minutes post meeting).... Finally, when she said to open, was NOT and indication that she was no ready for such topics, you could have taking that and run with it into sexual framing.... Most times a slight pushback is not a translation on not to lunch into them, you just say "i envy you guys i don't think is a bad thing and then you lunch into any sexual topics"......... Transitioning is the PERCEIVE, hardest part but is not, you can get around that....
Thanks for the feedback. I agree with everything you said, the 2 hour chat was the weakest part and could have derailed the whole thing. She actually ordered food and it took forever to arrive. I should have asked if she'd eaten first, then adjusted the venue based on that (e.g. a noodle joint -> bar -> intimate bar), would have kept momentum flowing too. I'll study your post about dating dynamics. Much appreciated!

you don't need to transition to sex talk early in the conversation, that would be a mistake sex talk is to do in mid game, after opening, hook, a bit of investment....... Not ideal to do in early stages, in early stages more normal things, such as deep dive, gm, cocky funny, or any pua material but not the juicy is stuff at the beginning, again not ideal..
Fully agree. Going into sex talk too heavy or too early would risk giving off too much player vibes or making her think you're ONLY about sex. I basically need to take better control of the conversation threads.
 
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