Gameboy's Journal

[StrayDog]

Gotta be honest @gameboy not sure you are getting genuinely rejected enough. Playing it safe. Gotta shoot your shot dude. Starts asking these girls out and what not.

 

[gameboy]

Gotta be honest @gameboy not sure you are getting genuinely rejected enough. Playing it safe. Gotta shoot your shot dude. Starts asking these girls out and what not.

I think you are right. I gotta take way more risks.

I was actually planning to do some mid-day approaches in the city center today, at least something basic like a compliment or something to get warmed up. But it started thundering and raining, so I'm trapped inside again for now...

 

[StrayDog]

I think you are right. I gotta take way more risks.

I was actually planning to do some mid-day approaches in the city center today, at least something basic like a compliment or something to get warmed up. But it started thundering and raining, so I'm trapped inside again for now...

Waaaaay more.

Obviously you don't want to fall on your face so much that the practice becomes unpleasant. But you're not going to make quick progress if you aren't at least falling flat on your face every now and then. Gotta break out of your frame work of what is possible and that only happens when you make bold new moves

Otherwise you'll be walking around with the results you're getting pretty much indefinitely

 

[Freakester]

Hey man, at least you are out there and taking action. That itself is pretty cool considering most guys would have given up. (I am guilty of it myself, making excuses because of shitty logistics and hot weather). You give me motivation to go out and do this.

May I suggest that you go out, not to approach but just to do something you want. Something you enjoy.

I'm a foodie so I like to visit all different kinds of restaurants and street food places. And along the way, try talking to everyone - not just chicks. Talk to guys, bartenders, waitresses, security guards, old people, kids etc.

Just ask them how's their day going or are you headed somewhere exciting. Give them a compliment. 'That's a nice tie sir. I wish I had one of those'.

You will get warmed up socially. Once you are warmed up and you see a hottie, you will have a hard time NOT saying hi to her.

Once she hooks, flirt right out of the gate. 'Hey I didn't notice it before, but you have amazing fashion sense. Attractive '

And always try to close, no matter how much you think she doesn't like me. You will be suprised sometimes. You ask her if she would like to go on a walk with you, and she says, 'Sure.'

 

[gameboy]

Hey man, at least you are out there and taking action. That itself is pretty cool considering most guys would have given up. (I am guilty of it myself, making excuses because of shitty logistics and hot weather). You give me motivation to go out and do this.

Hey, great to hear that I'm giving you motivation!

May I suggest that you go out, not to approach but just to do something you want. Something you enjoy.

I'm a foodie so I like to visit all different kinds of restaurants and street food places. And along the way, try talking to everyone - not just chicks. Talk to guys, bartenders, waitresses, security guards, old people, kids etc.

Just ask them how's their day going or are you headed somewhere exciting. Give them a compliment. 'That's a nice tie sir. I wish I had one of those'.

I'm in a big city here, so this is rather socially unusual. I wouldn't say unacceptable, but hardly anyone ever does that here. Most people seem to be in a rush to get somewhere, on their phones... The only people that approach you are the junkies, the beggars, and the street vendors. Sad reality of city life.

But nonetheless, I completely agree. I've been reading Chase's interview with Michael Chief today. Haven't finished it yet, but there are a lot of gems in there. Recommended. Michael is in the same vein, saying that if you have the opportunity to talk to someone, give them a quick compliment or just say hi, do it. Ignore the voice in your head that tells you not to bother them.

I think I'll start by going back to saying hi to girls on the street. Not only girls, but mainly girls or people I think look nice.

Some people here told me to stop doing that, but it really helped to get me in a social mood and I made way more approaches back when I did that than nowadays. Also, it was fun. And a significant part of the girls liked it too!

(I'm not saying that I count saying hi as an approach. It's just something I'm doing for myself, to loosen myself up. When there's a girl I find realy hot, I'll try and do a proper approach. But overhinking things more often than not has led to me not approaching at all.)

 

[gameboy]

Since I decided to be less risk-averse, I did something a bit bolder than usual for me today. There was this girl with huge boobs and a very tight shirt, through which I could see her nipples. I looked at her tits instinctively, took half a second and then said "nice shirt!" at her while she was walking by. Unfortunately she was on the phone, which I only realized after I had said it. I don't think she even heard me, but I'm still happy I came up with something on the spot.

I got one more opportunity on the beach, with a very attractive girl sitting under a tree on the floor. She was wearing knee-high boots, and short jeans. Nice black hair, Asian looking face with quite a bit of makeup on. She looked like a model really.

I was walking towards her and was about to compliment her on the boots... however one of the guys selling stuff on the beach approached her first, and she waved him away. I didn't want to be "next in line" so I decided to wait for a better moment to approach her. Of course, shortly after, another guy sat down right next to her. I don't think he even talked to her, but I found it awkward to reapproach her in that situation.

EDIT: Almost forgot, I had another opportunity in the evening, when I came out of the mall after running some errands. While fetching my bike I came across a girl that was posing for photos with a professional camera and tripod. She looked at me, I smiled at her, she smiled back. I should have absolutely said something to her, even something like "selfie time?" (which worked great with that Columbian gal on the beach, couple of weeks ago) would have been better than nothing. But I guess I was caught too much by surprise, and my intentions to be bold had evaporated doing the day. Gotta be on the lokout always!

 

[Casanova Newhouse]

Keep at it @gameboy! You are developing your situational awareness, which will pay dividends.

It's something I struggle with. A few weeks ago at the bar I saw a modestly attractive woman with a younger, drunker man all over her. I figured they must have known each other. No. He was a pest and had to be escorted out by the bar owner. If I'd have been on my game, I could have swooped in and had fun teasing her and diverting him. I could have been a hero.

 

[StrayDog]

Keep at it @gameboy! You are developing your situational awareness, which will pay dividends.

It's something I struggle with. A few weeks ago at the bar I saw a modestly attractive woman with a younger, drunker man all over her. I figured they must have known each other. No. He was a pest and had to be escorted out by the bar owner. If I'd have been on my game, I could have swooped in and had fun teasing her and diverting him. I could have been a hero.

During day game you'll start to get an intuition as to whether a girl is shopping with her boyfriend or not, even if he is looking at something the next isle over from her. You'll see her and she just has a "vibe" to her like she is there with a dude, and then moments later sure enough he pops around the corner.

That "vibe" if course is really just a bunch of micro expressions you are picking up on. Like the way she keeps subtly looking up from the product she is considering as though she is expecting someone to show up at any moment.

You start to develop situational awareness for all sorts of different scenarios. and even though you might not be 100% spot on all the time, with your intuition. It becomes a pretty strong guiding factor in how to proceed.

One handy way it starts to crop up, is being able to tell, with reasonable accuracy, if the guy she is with is just a friend, or a stranger that approached her, or her BF

 

[StrayDog]

I didn't want to be "next in line" so I decided to wait for a better moment to approach her

This is what I am talking about when I say you gotta take more risks to she where the boundary is and what's possible. Why not be the "next in line" and shoot your shot. Why not come up with something situational and see how it sticks? Could have said something like "wow the merchants out here are super pushy these days". Shows some situational awareness and give you the chance to open her. Could have maybe even stuck the landing.

Instead you decided let some other dude who clearly didn't know what he was doing step in next

Sure, maybe you would have fallen straight on your face. But you also would have worked out the muscle that just acts when you see an opportunity, and rolls with it.

 

[gameboy]

Sure, maybe you would have fallen straight on your face. But you also would have worked out the muscle that just acts when you see an opportunity, and rolls with it.

Thanks for pointing it out. In retrospect, it couldn't have hurt to have gone in there regardless.

 

[gameboy]

Not much to report this weekend, didn't do any approaches.

My allergies are still on and off, some days I'm fine and I feel on top of the world, other days I feel crap with a stuffy nose and teary eyes. Today is one of the latter.

At least I had a nice day on the beach. The weather is getting warmer and I had a couple of swims. Also I had a hot eye flirt with a cute girl lying some 20m away from me. She was there with a female friend and was looking over all the time, and I looked back. She had a nice thin body with an awesome ass, with a tiny black bikini that made it look even better. She had beautiful ong dark hair, but honestly looked too young for me. Probably not even twenty.

She really looked over at me a lot, even her friend did sometimes, and on one occasion they'd both look at me and giggle together. Typical female adolescent flirting behaviour Made me kind of proud that at my 50 years now, I still have cute young things who seem to be into me!

I considered approaching a couple of times, but they looked really young for me. After at least an hour, probably two, of casual glances back and forth and occasional eye contact, two boys (definitely teenagers by their looks) appeared and laid down with the girls. Not sure if they were boyfriends, but approaching was now definitely out of the question.

Instead, I gave the girl a little grin when I left a little later. She didn't return it and looked at me a bit nervously, but to be fair she was now with her guy friends so that's probably why.

There was another girl lying nearby who was all by herself, which was also quite attractive and not quite as young, but she was sleeping the whole time I was there. I really didn't want to wake her up to open her, felt like a rather rude thing to do.

----

Later at sunset, I came back to the beach because on Sunday evenings, there were often dozens of single girls sitting staring out at the ocean. Not so today though. I'm not sure if I'd have been in the mood for approaching anyway with my stuffy nose, I guess it would have depended on the attractivity of the girl. But today the single girls were strangely absent.

 

[Freakester]

I hate to reiterate @StrayDog's point. You are missing opportunity after opportunity.
It's like you are in your head a lot.

Just take a look at my FR after not having approached in a long time. My game was lame, and in a bad venue but I decided to do it cause why not?
I was blown out, outright ignored by the first two girls. I managed to hook the last one before I got cockblocked.
Even with crappy game.

I'd suggest meditation and practising mindfulness before going out. At least 30 minutes. This will help you tremendously. I'm not kidding.
You gotta play to win.