Gameboy's Journal
- Thread starter gameboy
- Start date
Wow this is harder than I thought. My AA was through the roof this morning. Yesterday in the evening I couldn't wait to start doing the assignment, but this morning I actually woke up feeling anxious. Which for me is a rare ocurrence.
Nevertheless I already opened two girls today! Both of which I didn't know before. Neither of them were super hot, they just looked nice in a grungy kind of way. The first "approach" was in a coffee shop. The girl left all her bags at her table while going to the bathroom. When she came back, I told her that this was dangerous to do because there are thieves and pickpockets in the area. She kind of brushed me off with "I know but I've been alone for 3 hours, so I don't have a choice."
I'd checked this girl out before (from behind only) since she was sitting at the table right in front of me. Her disheveled hairdo and clothing style had given me the impression that she might be a lesbian. Her reaction only confirmed that thought. Either that, or she was in a bad mood. So I just said to her "I just wanted to tell you" and left it at that.
Then I walked around a bit after having lunch, saw one or two cute girls both of whom were walking in the streets, but I couldn't stop them (AA).
Later I went to a supermarket to buy some groceries, took my time walking there and did a little detour even to see if I see any attractive girls. Just at the door of the shop I saw a girl with beautiful long hair and a good figure, walking right behind me. I stopped to let her catch up, and made up my mind that I'll just ask her if I can ask her some quick questions, then ask her for her zodiac and favorite color
But hell, just as she caught up with me, she stopped, turned away, checked her phone and walked briskly back. All in a split second, so I didn't open.
My second approach was in the checkout line at the supermarket. There was a girl behind me with a grungy look, couple of tattoos and a hippie-esque cap on her head. I saw she was holding bread and wine, so I asked her "Is that your breakfast, bread and wine?" She laughed and said "Nahh I also got this bag full of stuff" We bantered a bit back and forth and she was really friendly. Kind of cute, actually. I didn't ask for her zodiac or favorite color though. It didn't fit into the context, and I didn't want to appear too weird in front of the checkout clerk whom I see every day. But hell, at least I opened
Heading to the beach later today, let's see if I can find some hotties there to gather some vital astrological intelligence about them!
Nevertheless I already opened two girls today! Both of which I didn't know before. Neither of them were super hot, they just looked nice in a grungy kind of way. The first "approach" was in a coffee shop. The girl left all her bags at her table while going to the bathroom. When she came back, I told her that this was dangerous to do because there are thieves and pickpockets in the area. She kind of brushed me off with "I know but I've been alone for 3 hours, so I don't have a choice."
I'd checked this girl out before (from behind only) since she was sitting at the table right in front of me. Her disheveled hairdo and clothing style had given me the impression that she might be a lesbian. Her reaction only confirmed that thought. Either that, or she was in a bad mood. So I just said to her "I just wanted to tell you" and left it at that.
Then I walked around a bit after having lunch, saw one or two cute girls both of whom were walking in the streets, but I couldn't stop them (AA).
Later I went to a supermarket to buy some groceries, took my time walking there and did a little detour even to see if I see any attractive girls. Just at the door of the shop I saw a girl with beautiful long hair and a good figure, walking right behind me. I stopped to let her catch up, and made up my mind that I'll just ask her if I can ask her some quick questions, then ask her for her zodiac and favorite color
But hell, just as she caught up with me, she stopped, turned away, checked her phone and walked briskly back. All in a split second, so I didn't open.My second approach was in the checkout line at the supermarket. There was a girl behind me with a grungy look, couple of tattoos and a hippie-esque cap on her head. I saw she was holding bread and wine, so I asked her "Is that your breakfast, bread and wine?" She laughed and said "Nahh I also got this bag full of stuff" We bantered a bit back and forth and she was really friendly. Kind of cute, actually. I didn't ask for her zodiac or favorite color though. It didn't fit into the context, and I didn't want to appear too weird in front of the checkout clerk whom I see every day. But hell, at least I opened
Heading to the beach later today, let's see if I can find some hotties there to gather some vital astrological intelligence about them!
Last edited:
Got the first one out of the way.
Walked around a bit on the beach and decided to settle down near a group of 5 Latinas who were taking pictures of each other. 2 of them were truly hot, one of them black haired, the other dyed copper. The other 3 were okay looking. I watched them doing their silly poses for a while, at first I liked the black haired one better, but the copper-dyed one smiled more and seemed to have a more cheerful personality overall.
Thought about going over and asking them their star signs and favorite colors, but approaching a 5-set of girls was quite intimidating! So I watched for a while and in the end I decided I'm wasting my time here, I'm not gonna approach those girls anyway. So I got up to look for a single girl to approach. I was already walking away when I decided fuck it, the copper-haired girl is sitting right there checking her phone, can't hurt to ask.
Walked over and asked her "Can I ask you two questions real quick?" She was like "Tell me" and I said "I'm supposed to ask the most beautiful girls I see their Zodiac and their favorite color." She said "Cancer and yellow" so there we go! I repeated "Cancer and yellow? Nice to meet you!" and shook her hand, as if she'd just told me her name. It felt a bit uncalibrated but just came out without thinking. I noticed her hand was really soft and pleasant to touch.
I'm not sure if it was necessary to explain why I'm asking, maybe I'll skip it next time. My thinking was that maybe if she was interested in me she would show signs of being flattered, but it seemed more like she didn't care. Probably gets it all the time. But hey, it didn't hurt me either. I figured there was a larger than 0 chance that she would go all smiles over the compliment. In which case I'd have stayed a bit longer.
Felt really good to do this after so many days without approaching! Thanks Chase for snapping me into action
Walked around a bit on the beach and decided to settle down near a group of 5 Latinas who were taking pictures of each other. 2 of them were truly hot, one of them black haired, the other dyed copper. The other 3 were okay looking. I watched them doing their silly poses for a while, at first I liked the black haired one better, but the copper-dyed one smiled more and seemed to have a more cheerful personality overall.
Thought about going over and asking them their star signs and favorite colors, but approaching a 5-set of girls was quite intimidating! So I watched for a while and in the end I decided I'm wasting my time here, I'm not gonna approach those girls anyway. So I got up to look for a single girl to approach. I was already walking away when I decided fuck it, the copper-haired girl is sitting right there checking her phone, can't hurt to ask.
Walked over and asked her "Can I ask you two questions real quick?" She was like "Tell me" and I said "I'm supposed to ask the most beautiful girls I see their Zodiac and their favorite color." She said "Cancer and yellow" so there we go! I repeated "Cancer and yellow? Nice to meet you!" and shook her hand, as if she'd just told me her name. It felt a bit uncalibrated but just came out without thinking. I noticed her hand was really soft and pleasant to touch.
I'm not sure if it was necessary to explain why I'm asking, maybe I'll skip it next time. My thinking was that maybe if she was interested in me she would show signs of being flattered, but it seemed more like she didn't care. Probably gets it all the time. But hey, it didn't hurt me either. I figured there was a larger than 0 chance that she would go all smiles over the compliment. In which case I'd have stayed a bit longer.
Felt really good to do this after so many days without approaching! Thanks Chase for snapping me into action
Last edited:
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2022
- Messages
- 193
Yeah, id also skip it.
You could just say hi with a big smile, let her focus on you for a second, and ask away right after that. If you feel like you wanna show intent, you can do it right after her reply.
Maybe itd help to think of this as a social experiment kinda thing, like you had a Youtube channel where you ask people random stuff. That might take you out of your head and let you focus on having fun, since youd be doing it "just to entertain your viewers".
Go man go!
Oh, it was tons of fun! Once I got over the AA.
I'm finding that approaching girls is a lot like jumping into the cold sea. I like to go swimming when the sea temperature is around 15 degrees Celsius (that's 60F). It takes a lot of courage to jump in, but once I'm in the water it feels like heaven. Also, it takes an effort to stay in there and not just get out after 2 seconds.
The experience with that girl yesterday was similar. I'd been watching her before, which kind of made me put her on a pedestal in a way. But once I was actually crouching next to her and talking, getting her to answer my questions and shake my hand, with her 4 friends looking on like "who's that"...
This probably sounds ridiculous to the more experienced gamers here, but for me as a beginner it was one of the best moments of the day. Now I gotta pluck up the courage to rinse, repeat, and improve.
I'm finding that approaching girls is a lot like jumping into the cold sea. I like to go swimming when the sea temperature is around 15 degrees Celsius (that's 60F). It takes a lot of courage to jump in, but once I'm in the water it feels like heaven. Also, it takes an effort to stay in there and not just get out after 2 seconds.
The experience with that girl yesterday was similar. I'd been watching her before, which kind of made me put her on a pedestal in a way. But once I was actually crouching next to her and talking, getting her to answer my questions and shake my hand, with her 4 friends looking on like "who's that"...
This probably sounds ridiculous to the more experienced gamers here, but for me as a beginner it was one of the best moments of the day. Now I gotta pluck up the courage to rinse, repeat, and improve.
Last edited:
Did 2 more today. First approach was a girl that was walking, i approached her from the side and asked her if I could ask 2 quick questions. She said no though. I think this was actually my first attempt at a street stop with a moving girl.
Second one was a girl sitting on a bench, I asked her if she could tell me her favorite color. She said she didn't have one. I was like "Are you sure? Can you just make one up? It's for a challenge, I have to ask pretty girls their favorite color and their Zodiac sign." She said "Okay... (pause) Black and Aquarius." I thanked her and went on my way.
The next girl was one I saw sitting high on a wall. She was a cute, petite Latina reading a book. I approached her from below and said "Hello, can I ask you something?" She just looked at me. I said "I'd like to know your star sign and your favorite color" She asked me, sceptically, "And what is this for?" I explained, "It's a challenge, I gotta ask girls this." She said "all right then... Cancer and pink"
I walked around for a while looking for more girls, but didn't see any I found sufficiently attractive. I did see a hot girl with dreadlocks on the beach, she was talking to another woman. I walked by close to them and realized it was the Brazilian girl I'd seen a couple of days before with her boyfriend.
Just when I got into earshot, she said to her friend "...and I was a huge Michael Jackson fan..." Walking by, I turned towards her and said: "Me too!" She gave me a big smile and said "Yeah!", then continued talking to the other girl. I kept walking because I know she's taken. This was the most fun approach of the day
The exercise didn't feel as great as yesterday. It's awesome to keep pushing through the AA, but I suppose yesterday felt so good because the first time is always the hardest.
Second one was a girl sitting on a bench, I asked her if she could tell me her favorite color. She said she didn't have one. I was like "Are you sure? Can you just make one up? It's for a challenge, I have to ask pretty girls their favorite color and their Zodiac sign." She said "Okay... (pause) Black and Aquarius." I thanked her and went on my way.
The next girl was one I saw sitting high on a wall. She was a cute, petite Latina reading a book. I approached her from below and said "Hello, can I ask you something?" She just looked at me. I said "I'd like to know your star sign and your favorite color" She asked me, sceptically, "And what is this for?" I explained, "It's a challenge, I gotta ask girls this." She said "all right then... Cancer and pink"
I walked around for a while looking for more girls, but didn't see any I found sufficiently attractive. I did see a hot girl with dreadlocks on the beach, she was talking to another woman. I walked by close to them and realized it was the Brazilian girl I'd seen a couple of days before with her boyfriend.
Just when I got into earshot, she said to her friend "...and I was a huge Michael Jackson fan..." Walking by, I turned towards her and said: "Me too!" She gave me a big smile and said "Yeah!", then continued talking to the other girl. I kept walking because I know she's taken. This was the most fun approach of the day
The exercise didn't feel as great as yesterday. It's awesome to keep pushing through the AA, but I suppose yesterday felt so good because the first time is always the hardest.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2012
- Messages
- 5,650
Way to get into action, @gameboy.
You've got 1 one more left.
For the last one, when the girl asks why you're asking, I want you to say, "I thought you were cute and wanted to start a conversation with you."
I would suggest you next tell her something about either what her favorite color says about her or what her Zodiac does. If you're not familiar with either, you can check out the meaning of colors in this post.
The point of this is to give her a little conversation and some topics she can latch onto if she wants to talk to you back.
Right now, with just opening then ejecting, even if girls are interested, it's happening too fast and with too little for them to grab onto for them to actually engage back. As you get more comfortable approaching, you will need to start running lengthier approaches to give the girls who are receptive a chance to register the approach and show interest.
Chase
You've got 1 one more left.
For the last one, when the girl asks why you're asking, I want you to say, "I thought you were cute and wanted to start a conversation with you."
I would suggest you next tell her something about either what her favorite color says about her or what her Zodiac does. If you're not familiar with either, you can check out the meaning of colors in this post.
The point of this is to give her a little conversation and some topics she can latch onto if she wants to talk to you back.
Right now, with just opening then ejecting, even if girls are interested, it's happening too fast and with too little for them to grab onto for them to actually engage back. As you get more comfortable approaching, you will need to start running lengthier approaches to give the girls who are receptive a chance to register the approach and show interest.
Chase
Yesterday I was busy with other things, but today I'm proud to say I approached quite a bit. Got rejected left and right. But can't say I didn't try!
I started out looking for girls in the city center. It was around noon, and after running some errands, I walked around saying hello to random women. Some ignored me, some said hello back. I did try to pick the nicer looking ones, but none of them was super attractive. Basically just being sociable to warm up. Then I spotted a hottie walking towards me, up a flight of stairs. As she came closer I tried to stop her saying: "Excuse me, can I ask you something?" She ignored me big time though, looking the other way. My 2nd attempt at a street stop so far. These are tricky!
In the past I've been able to hook some girls. The other day I actually searched my old Field Reports here on this forum to recall how I did it.
Some I opened situational, some with elaborate pings. But when I couldn't come up with anything, on the beach it was often enough just to walk by in front of a girl sitting by herself and just say "Hi, how's it going?" as I walk past her. Her reaction would usually show me whether she was interested or not.
So I tried that today. I walked around on the beach for hours until my feet hurt. Unfortunately there weren't too many single girls, and I don't recall a single hot one. I walked up to all the ones that I saw sitting by themselves. Maybe around 5 or 6 total.
Most ignored me or replied without much enthusiasm. One of the girls gave me a smile. But it looked a bit forced, and the timing seemed off, so I kept walking. In hindsight, I think it looked strange because she was just taking a sip of her beer while I approached her, so that may have been why her smile looked a bit forced. I should have chatted her up regardless. But I didn't realize that until several minutes had passed.
There were some girls I found attractive, but they looked a bit young for me. I'd have approached them regardless if I had seen a cute one by herself, if only to find out her age. But the hot babes I saw today were all in large groups. Most of them mixed, so I didn't approach those.
The last approach of the day was with a girl that I thought was interested: I was sitting down to rest a bit and enjoy the sunset, when I sensed a girl walking behind me. I turned around and saw an Asian girl in running gear, smiling in my direction. She walked past behind me. I got up, and saw she had stopped some 50m away. So I walked very slowly in her direction, looking out at the sea. The scenery was beautiful to behold, ships of all sizes and colors gleaming in the setting sun. The horizon was barely visible because the sky and the sea were the same color. The girl was walking back towards me, so I thought I did a super smooth ping by saying just past her, in a loud voice, "where is the horizon?" The bitch just looked the other way and walked past me without reacting. I realized she wasn't all that attractive anyway, so not a huge loss.
So, not the most successful day, but I think I'm back in the game for now.
EDIT: Actually, scratch that. I did all the approaches I could today. I call that a success!
Still didn't complete the assignment. But the one hot girl I saw (the 1st one I approached today) wouldn't stop, so I didn't really get a chance.
I started out looking for girls in the city center. It was around noon, and after running some errands, I walked around saying hello to random women. Some ignored me, some said hello back. I did try to pick the nicer looking ones, but none of them was super attractive. Basically just being sociable to warm up. Then I spotted a hottie walking towards me, up a flight of stairs. As she came closer I tried to stop her saying: "Excuse me, can I ask you something?" She ignored me big time though, looking the other way. My 2nd attempt at a street stop so far. These are tricky!
In the past I've been able to hook some girls. The other day I actually searched my old Field Reports here on this forum to recall how I did it.
Some I opened situational, some with elaborate pings. But when I couldn't come up with anything, on the beach it was often enough just to walk by in front of a girl sitting by herself and just say "Hi, how's it going?" as I walk past her. Her reaction would usually show me whether she was interested or not.
So I tried that today. I walked around on the beach for hours until my feet hurt. Unfortunately there weren't too many single girls, and I don't recall a single hot one. I walked up to all the ones that I saw sitting by themselves. Maybe around 5 or 6 total.
Most ignored me or replied without much enthusiasm. One of the girls gave me a smile. But it looked a bit forced, and the timing seemed off, so I kept walking. In hindsight, I think it looked strange because she was just taking a sip of her beer while I approached her, so that may have been why her smile looked a bit forced. I should have chatted her up regardless. But I didn't realize that until several minutes had passed.
There were some girls I found attractive, but they looked a bit young for me. I'd have approached them regardless if I had seen a cute one by herself, if only to find out her age. But the hot babes I saw today were all in large groups. Most of them mixed, so I didn't approach those.
The last approach of the day was with a girl that I thought was interested: I was sitting down to rest a bit and enjoy the sunset, when I sensed a girl walking behind me. I turned around and saw an Asian girl in running gear, smiling in my direction. She walked past behind me. I got up, and saw she had stopped some 50m away. So I walked very slowly in her direction, looking out at the sea. The scenery was beautiful to behold, ships of all sizes and colors gleaming in the setting sun. The horizon was barely visible because the sky and the sea were the same color. The girl was walking back towards me, so I thought I did a super smooth ping by saying just past her, in a loud voice, "where is the horizon?" The bitch just looked the other way and walked past me without reacting. I realized she wasn't all that attractive anyway, so not a huge loss.
EDIT: Actually, scratch that. I did all the approaches I could today. I call that a success!
Still didn't complete the assignment. But the one hot girl I saw (the 1st one I approached today) wouldn't stop, so I didn't really get a chance.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2024
- Messages
- 157
Much credit @gameboy for getting out there and doing it. Are you finding a sense of accomplishment from making your approaches? A mission completed feeling of satisfaction? And does that outweigh the negative responses?
Not long ago I was heading into the grocery store and saw a very cute girl with one of the curvy figures that drives me wild. She appeared to be doing some stretches against the rear of a Sprinter van. I said, "Hey you need some help pushing that thing?" I'm sure there were better openers for that situation, but I felt like it was funny and at worst it could be read as an offer to be helpful.
She waved me off without so much as a glance in my direction. Wow that felt unnecessarily harsh.
For some reason I couldn't let it go - it rankles me to this moment. I fantasized on my way back to my car that I'd see her boyfriend or partner and go up to him and say "Is this your bitch? You'd better teach her some manners, or she will get you in a brutal beatdown." They were gone. I probably wouldn't have said anything, but I am capable of losing my temper.
That angry over-reaction reminded me of road rage, with which I have my troubles. An instant kettle-boiling-over feeling. That's part of the reason I have trouble mustering up the energy for cold approaches; one bad reaction like that can take me weeks to recover from.
It seems like you are able to find a sense of perspective on your failed approach. I'd like to borrow some of your equanimity brother.
Not long ago I was heading into the grocery store and saw a very cute girl with one of the curvy figures that drives me wild. She appeared to be doing some stretches against the rear of a Sprinter van. I said, "Hey you need some help pushing that thing?" I'm sure there were better openers for that situation, but I felt like it was funny and at worst it could be read as an offer to be helpful.
She waved me off without so much as a glance in my direction. Wow that felt unnecessarily harsh.
For some reason I couldn't let it go - it rankles me to this moment. I fantasized on my way back to my car that I'd see her boyfriend or partner and go up to him and say "Is this your bitch? You'd better teach her some manners, or she will get you in a brutal beatdown." They were gone. I probably wouldn't have said anything, but I am capable of losing my temper.
That angry over-reaction reminded me of road rage, with which I have my troubles. An instant kettle-boiling-over feeling. That's part of the reason I have trouble mustering up the energy for cold approaches; one bad reaction like that can take me weeks to recover from.
It seems like you are able to find a sense of perspective on your failed approach. I'd like to borrow some of your equanimity brother.
I can't say it's a feeling of satisfaction... more like, I did what I could with my so far limited approaching skills. And I know I did the right thing. That feels good.
I came home tired, but content. Not kicking myself for not having plucked up the courage. I regret not having approached the girl that smiled at me, but I didn't read her reaction right in the moment.
The first and the last rejections of the day stung a bit. The first one was the hottie who I asked if I could ask her something. I later thought about it a bit, and then explained it to myself this way: Who know how her day was. Maybe I'm the 5th guy today who approaches her wanting something, and the other dudes were all complete creeps. That thought helped me recover and continue.
The last one was the girl I pinged about the horizon, which I felt pretty cool about. A bit like your supermarket opener. Yeah, it stung how she looked the other way, gotta admit. But I also saw her face and saw that she wasn't really my type. I laughed it off and thought "Okay...", I guess that's how this game goes. Can't be winning all the time.
I came home tired, but content. Not kicking myself for not having plucked up the courage. I regret not having approached the girl that smiled at me, but I didn't read her reaction right in the moment.
The first and the last rejections of the day stung a bit. The first one was the hottie who I asked if I could ask her something. I later thought about it a bit, and then explained it to myself this way: Who know how her day was. Maybe I'm the 5th guy today who approaches her wanting something, and the other dudes were all complete creeps. That thought helped me recover and continue.
The last one was the girl I pinged about the horizon, which I felt pretty cool about. A bit like your supermarket opener. Yeah, it stung how she looked the other way, gotta admit. But I also saw her face and saw that she wasn't really my type. I laughed it off and thought "Okay...", I guess that's how this game goes. Can't be winning all the time.
Hadn't logged in here for a long time.. lovely to see you're still onto it. Kudos mate! Wish I could spare some time myself to go out.
Anyway, just a couple of things that I thought might help:
- A common theme I see in your reports is, saying to yourself "she was not attractive/your type". Problem with this is, it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy like the "sour grapes" story.
It's authentic to approach only whom you find attractive but if you're using this far too often, you're conditioning your brain to find an excuse. Years ago I had read an article about eye-contact (can't remember the German author's name). In his article, he says to commit to an approach and commit to eye-contact. No half-assing. Go all in.
It was a huge sticking point for me too when I started but this one principle, made my inner game stronger. So, if you look at a girl to approach, go all in even if she's ugly, you can just switch to a comment instead of a compliment, when you realize she's not your type. At least it'll condition your brain to commit what you set out to do.
- From Chase's assignment, when you ask girls their favorite color and zodiac sign, go in with an attitude of curiosity and not as an assignment. Imagine you saw something that picked your curiosity, you'll not be hesitant to find out as much as you do when you do it as an obligation.
This will get you out of your head.
Women appreciate when you're genuinely curious about them. It's the highest form of validation for them, more than being complimented.
So, instead of saying "I'm doing it as part of a challenge", imagine you saw a girl wearing red color, you could say something like "Red really suits you, I could see it from your energy. Are you a Gemini? (Doesn't matter just say any zodiac sign) cos I read somewhere that Geminis are passionate and red represents passion". You can make this up for any color.
Of course don't say this as a monologue. Do it back and forth. It comes across as natural, smooth and authentic.
Keep up your steak man!
Anyway, just a couple of things that I thought might help:
- A common theme I see in your reports is, saying to yourself "she was not attractive/your type". Problem with this is, it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy like the "sour grapes" story.
It's authentic to approach only whom you find attractive but if you're using this far too often, you're conditioning your brain to find an excuse. Years ago I had read an article about eye-contact (can't remember the German author's name). In his article, he says to commit to an approach and commit to eye-contact. No half-assing. Go all in.
It was a huge sticking point for me too when I started but this one principle, made my inner game stronger. So, if you look at a girl to approach, go all in even if she's ugly, you can just switch to a comment instead of a compliment, when you realize she's not your type. At least it'll condition your brain to commit what you set out to do.
- From Chase's assignment, when you ask girls their favorite color and zodiac sign, go in with an attitude of curiosity and not as an assignment. Imagine you saw something that picked your curiosity, you'll not be hesitant to find out as much as you do when you do it as an obligation.
This will get you out of your head.
Women appreciate when you're genuinely curious about them. It's the highest form of validation for them, more than being complimented.
So, instead of saying "I'm doing it as part of a challenge", imagine you saw a girl wearing red color, you could say something like "Red really suits you, I could see it from your energy. Are you a Gemini? (Doesn't matter just say any zodiac sign) cos I read somewhere that Geminis are passionate and red represents passion". You can make this up for any color.
Of course don't say this as a monologue. Do it back and forth. It comes across as natural, smooth and authentic.
Keep up your steak man!
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2012
- Messages
- 5,650
@gameboy,
Good effort on that last outing.
You'll have days like that. For whatever reason, every hot girl in town decides to stay home.
*shrug*
Honestly, much of the time you will get nicer receptions from better-looking girls. Plain Janes have really high walls. Especially if with your fashion, comportment, fundamentals, etc., you look better than they do.
Stopping girls on staircases is tough. You really need to nail your delivery on those. Attention-getting but non-alarming. Helps to come in with a bit of authority, too. Asking if you can ask a question is usually going to get you a "no." You'll have a higher hit rate commanding: "Oh -- hey. Hold up there a second. Let me ask you a question."
The approach with the Asian jogger looks similar... walking backwards toward you; you opened with a question (and in this case, a confusing one "Where is the horizon?" -- makes sense to you because you were staring at the horizon thinking about how hard it is to see, but unless she was doing the exact same thing the question makes no sense). Instead open with authority: get in front of her, get eye contact with her, smile, point out at the horizon, and tell her, "Look at that! See the horizon where the sea meets the sky? Usually you can see it; but not today. It's gone. Beautiful, isn't it?"
I'm not sure if your opens are usually as tentative as the ones in this outing seem.
But if they are, you will benefit TONS from adopting a more authoritative approach to your opening.
Less "asking", more "telling."
Even if you're going to ask a question, the delivery should be done authoritatively:
"Hey, let me ask you something..." said casually but firmly.
Will get you far better opening results!
Chase
Good effort on that last outing.
You'll have days like that. For whatever reason, every hot girl in town decides to stay home.
*shrug*
Honestly, much of the time you will get nicer receptions from better-looking girls. Plain Janes have really high walls. Especially if with your fashion, comportment, fundamentals, etc., you look better than they do.
Stopping girls on staircases is tough. You really need to nail your delivery on those. Attention-getting but non-alarming. Helps to come in with a bit of authority, too. Asking if you can ask a question is usually going to get you a "no." You'll have a higher hit rate commanding: "Oh -- hey. Hold up there a second. Let me ask you a question."
The approach with the Asian jogger looks similar... walking backwards toward you; you opened with a question (and in this case, a confusing one "Where is the horizon?" -- makes sense to you because you were staring at the horizon thinking about how hard it is to see, but unless she was doing the exact same thing the question makes no sense). Instead open with authority: get in front of her, get eye contact with her, smile, point out at the horizon, and tell her, "Look at that! See the horizon where the sea meets the sky? Usually you can see it; but not today. It's gone. Beautiful, isn't it?"
I'm not sure if your opens are usually as tentative as the ones in this outing seem.
But if they are, you will benefit TONS from adopting a more authoritative approach to your opening.
Less "asking", more "telling."
Even if you're going to ask a question, the delivery should be done authoritatively:
"Hey, let me ask you something..." said casually but firmly.
Will get you far better opening results!
Chase
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2022
- Messages
- 61
Hi there gameboy,
I can't tell you how great it is to read you getting out there and really taking those risks the last few days. I've been out of action for a couple of weeks - had to go home to look after my ailing elderly father for a while, so I was locked up in a house in rural Ireland for a period... Just got back home and went out yesterday with the intention of getting things rolling again... but AA totally defeated me... well, I did make one approach, but I didn't express any overt romantic interest - I jsut started a conversation with a cute girl on the street and then said 'well, nice to meet you' and go out of there... I was feeling really deflated yesterday, but reading your progress - and you have made SERIOUS progress - inspires me... thanks!
I can't tell you how great it is to read you getting out there and really taking those risks the last few days. I've been out of action for a couple of weeks - had to go home to look after my ailing elderly father for a while, so I was locked up in a house in rural Ireland for a period... Just got back home and went out yesterday with the intention of getting things rolling again... but AA totally defeated me... well, I did make one approach, but I didn't express any overt romantic interest - I jsut started a conversation with a cute girl on the street and then said 'well, nice to meet you' and go out of there... I was feeling really deflated yesterday, but reading your progress - and you have made SERIOUS progress - inspires me... thanks!
Thanks guys for all your help and support! It really means a lot.
Today AA is back like a bitch. I couldn't make a single approach even though I saw some interesting girls. The best I did today was a cute girl in a 2-set who was smiling as they walked by. Not sure if she was smiling at me, or about something else. I said "Hello" to her as the two walked by, and she greeted me back. But I wasn't warmed up at all, and also she was with a female friend. So I didn't talk to her more.
Yesterday something similar happened. I saw several single girls at the beach, but none of them I found attractive enough to want to talk to. Then when I finally came across a hot girl that I liked, I said "hello" while walking buy but in a rather soft voice, just to see if she'd be interested. She just kept staring slightly past me without reaction...
Should definitely have used a stronger opener like @Chase suggested. It would have been smoother to walk past her slowly, stay there for a couple of seconds to get her used to my presence for a moment, then turn around and say something to her. It would have also given me time to think of something to say.
Then when I come across a girl I like, I'm not warmed up and can't come up with a good opener.
Another sticking point is that I will like a girl, but think she is too young for me. Just now I was at a supermarket. Saw a girl that I found interesting, she wasn't super hot or anything, slightly chubby, but I liked her style. She wore a belly free top that accentuated her large boobs and slim waist, tight jeans shorts, and had a nice womanly figure overall. Not fat, but not as thin as I usuall go for. She had patchwork tattoos over her arms that I found looked cool, and a nose piercing. But: She looked like she might be 20 or maybe even younger. I just turned 50, ha.
Also, she was wearing huge headphones which distracted me from talking to her. I always think girls wear those to keep guys from talking to them.
Probably those are limiting beliefs... Maybe I should make a point of deliberately asking some of these "too-young" girls how old they are, and find out if they even care about the age difference.
Today AA is back like a bitch. I couldn't make a single approach even though I saw some interesting girls. The best I did today was a cute girl in a 2-set who was smiling as they walked by. Not sure if she was smiling at me, or about something else. I said "Hello" to her as the two walked by, and she greeted me back. But I wasn't warmed up at all, and also she was with a female friend. So I didn't talk to her more.
Yesterday something similar happened. I saw several single girls at the beach, but none of them I found attractive enough to want to talk to. Then when I finally came across a hot girl that I liked, I said "hello" while walking buy but in a rather soft voice, just to see if she'd be interested. She just kept staring slightly past me without reaction...
Should definitely have used a stronger opener like @Chase suggested. It would have been smoother to walk past her slowly, stay there for a couple of seconds to get her used to my presence for a moment, then turn around and say something to her. It would have also given me time to think of something to say.
I believe my opens get better when I am warmed up socially. One thing I realized recently, is that sometimes I don't warm up all day, either due to AA (like today) or because I just don't see any girls I want to approach (like yesterday). I work from home, so when I go out to sarge, I typically haven't interacted with too many people in person.
Then when I come across a girl I like, I'm not warmed up and can't come up with a good opener.
Another sticking point is that I will like a girl, but think she is too young for me. Just now I was at a supermarket. Saw a girl that I found interesting, she wasn't super hot or anything, slightly chubby, but I liked her style. She wore a belly free top that accentuated her large boobs and slim waist, tight jeans shorts, and had a nice womanly figure overall. Not fat, but not as thin as I usuall go for. She had patchwork tattoos over her arms that I found looked cool, and a nose piercing. But: She looked like she might be 20 or maybe even younger. I just turned 50, ha.
Also, she was wearing huge headphones which distracted me from talking to her. I always think girls wear those to keep guys from talking to them.
Probably those are limiting beliefs... Maybe I should make a point of deliberately asking some of these "too-young" girls how old they are, and find out if they even care about the age difference.
Last edited:
I have the same working situation as well, and I know this is just a excuse, I have been there as well. I would open girls normally, and just accept the fact that the first opens will be slightly uncalibrated. You will get warmed up after it. I know you know this, but it's totally ok to get rejected or make an imperfect approach.
Routines. Have a couple of default openers you use, if you are not able to come up with anything in the spot.
Yeah, those are limiting beliefs. I would suggest you make a mindset switch, you should screen the young girls if they are too immature for you. You are the prize, not them
GL man, you got this! Just keep pushing through the AA, all the best stuff is behind that wall.
Still trying to complete Chase's assignment. I seem to have a lot of internal resistance to doing this, I don't think I've ever been this direct with a girl. AA was high the last several days.
So I walked around today a bit in the city center, saw a few cute girls but again couldn't approach. After a while I decided to make the exercise easier and just ask a girl for her favorite color, and see where to take it from there. Walked around some more and saw a girl with a bull terrier on a leash standing in the door of a house. She looked cute enough so I said "hi", she said Hi back in a friendly voice but just at that moment the door buzzed open and she stepped inside. Not sure if I would have actually asked her the question, but I didn't even get a chance (short of calling after her to wait a moment, which I guess I am not yet bold enough for).
Taking a lunch break now, gonna keep going in the afternoon. How is this so hard for me?!
So I walked around today a bit in the city center, saw a few cute girls but again couldn't approach. After a while I decided to make the exercise easier and just ask a girl for her favorite color, and see where to take it from there. Walked around some more and saw a girl with a bull terrier on a leash standing in the door of a house. She looked cute enough so I said "hi", she said Hi back in a friendly voice but just at that moment the door buzzed open and she stepped inside. Not sure if I would have actually asked her the question, but I didn't even get a chance (short of calling after her to wait a moment, which I guess I am not yet bold enough for).
Taking a lunch break now, gonna keep going in the afternoon. How is this so hard for me?!
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2012
- Messages
- 5,650
@gameboy,
If you can bang that last one out, great.
If not, I have a fresh assignment for you:
After talking to a girl for 1-2 minutes, I want you to find out when the last time she went on a date was.
Then I want you to ask her if she wants to go on one with you.
Even though it is actually longer / more ambitious, I have a feeling it will be easier for you than the last one.
Chase
If you can bang that last one out, great.
If not, I have a fresh assignment for you:
After talking to a girl for 1-2 minutes, I want you to find out when the last time she went on a date was.
Then I want you to ask her if she wants to go on one with you.
Even though it is actually longer / more ambitious, I have a feeling it will be easier for you than the last one.
Chase
Damn... not a single approach today.
I walked around all day, to the beach and back. Saw a few hotties but they were invariably in 2-sets or larger groups. The few single girls I saw I found rather plain looking.
Then on the way back home, saw a few cute ones in the city center but was too tired and frustrated to start approaching now.
I think I need to force myself to open the first even moderately interesting girl I see when I walk out of the house tomorrow.
I can't go on like this forever! I know I can do better. I did much better last winter. Only a few months ago.
Definitely need to stop making excuses!
I walked around all day, to the beach and back. Saw a few hotties but they were invariably in 2-sets or larger groups. The few single girls I saw I found rather plain looking.
Then on the way back home, saw a few cute ones in the city center but was too tired and frustrated to start approaching now.
I think I need to force myself to open the first even moderately interesting girl I see when I walk out of the house tomorrow.
I can't go on like this forever! I know I can do better. I did much better last winter. Only a few months ago.
Definitely need to stop making excuses!
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2024
- Messages
- 157
Keep at it friend. Just being aware that you are struggling makes it more likely that you will eventually succeed. Struggle isn't the opposite of success, complacency or apathy is.
Phew. Two (minimal) opens done today. Finally!
I was seriously frustrated not being able to approach at all over the weekend, even though I saw some serious hotties out and about. So today I decided to make it as easy as possible for me and ask at least one girl for her favorite color.
Came across a very thin one in a jogging outfit, she was wearing earphones and sunglasses which normally puts me off but she walked right by me so I asked "Sorry, can you tell me your favorite color?" She stopped and asked me back "What for?" I noticed she had short, copper-dyed hair which actually wasn't all that attractive. I shrugged at her and said "Nothing, just a challenge." She said "Blue", I said "Blue eh? Thanks!" and we continued on our ways.
Later I saw a group of girls on the beach, a few of them looked hot. I had a bit of eye contact with one of the hot ones, but I wasn't sure if it was an interested sort of eye contact or the "What's this guy staring at"-kind. I noticed they were talking in a language that sounded like Portuguese.
The sun went behind a building and I changed locations. Shortly after the girl I'd had eye contact with came walking by me with a friend. So I grabbed the opportunity and asked "Excuse me, are you Brazilians or Portuguese?" Hottie said "Portuguese", but without giving me as much as a smile and briskly walking by. Her friend laughed and smiled at me though.
So those were the two opens of the day. I hope I can rinse and repeat this!
As a bonus, a 2F1M set came walking by me later while I was lying down, looking at the sea. One of the girls looked at me, I smiled at her and she actually greeted me first: Saying "How's it going" with an Argentinian accent. I said "hello" back. No idea if I had seen this girl before? She kept walking so there wasn't any more conversation, but she looked pretty fine from behind. I'm wondering if this was one of the girls I said "Hello" to at some point, or if she'd just liked me and looked at me because of that.
Another bonus: Came across an older man loudly yawning, sitting on a wall with some other older folks. I asked him "Tired, huh?" He laughed hard, and I gave him a thumb's up and had to laugh also. I said "Me too" as I walked by. It's fun to be social with strangers!
So, today was definitely better than the last several days. Let's see if I can keep this up! Should be doable, though AA can be a bitch.
I was seriously frustrated not being able to approach at all over the weekend, even though I saw some serious hotties out and about. So today I decided to make it as easy as possible for me and ask at least one girl for her favorite color.
Came across a very thin one in a jogging outfit, she was wearing earphones and sunglasses which normally puts me off but she walked right by me so I asked "Sorry, can you tell me your favorite color?" She stopped and asked me back "What for?" I noticed she had short, copper-dyed hair which actually wasn't all that attractive. I shrugged at her and said "Nothing, just a challenge." She said "Blue", I said "Blue eh? Thanks!" and we continued on our ways.
Later I saw a group of girls on the beach, a few of them looked hot. I had a bit of eye contact with one of the hot ones, but I wasn't sure if it was an interested sort of eye contact or the "What's this guy staring at"-kind. I noticed they were talking in a language that sounded like Portuguese.
The sun went behind a building and I changed locations. Shortly after the girl I'd had eye contact with came walking by me with a friend. So I grabbed the opportunity and asked "Excuse me, are you Brazilians or Portuguese?" Hottie said "Portuguese", but without giving me as much as a smile and briskly walking by. Her friend laughed and smiled at me though.
So those were the two opens of the day. I hope I can rinse and repeat this!
As a bonus, a 2F1M set came walking by me later while I was lying down, looking at the sea. One of the girls looked at me, I smiled at her and she actually greeted me first: Saying "How's it going" with an Argentinian accent. I said "hello" back. No idea if I had seen this girl before? She kept walking so there wasn't any more conversation, but she looked pretty fine from behind. I'm wondering if this was one of the girls I said "Hello" to at some point, or if she'd just liked me and looked at me because of that.
Another bonus: Came across an older man loudly yawning, sitting on a wall with some other older folks. I asked him "Tired, huh?" He laughed hard, and I gave him a thumb's up and had to laugh also. I said "Me too" as I walked by. It's fun to be social with strangers!
So, today was definitely better than the last several days. Let's see if I can keep this up! Should be doable, though AA can be a bitch.
Last edited: