Gay vs straight game

[Atlas IV]

This is just a random anecdote I thought to share. I was having a chat today with my gay friend (who knows I am fully straight) and we came to the topic of dating. He knew nothing about straight guy pickup, so I was explaining to him the process of seducing girls - concepts like cold approaches, deep diving, frame control, escalation, bouncing venues, sex talk, etc.

His response: "Man, I can't believe you guys have to waste so much goddamn time on that. For gays, we don't even call it "dating", it's just fucking. You meet a guy, agree that you both want to fuck, and you fuck. There is no seduction."

This kinda blew my mind. We seducers devote YEARS to perfecting a craft that, to gays, would be utter nonsense. It makes sense though, that if you were dating somebody who is hardwired the same way as you, there's really no need for any sort of strategizing. There is far more complexity involved in a man seducing a woman than a man seducing a man.

The flip side, he said, is that for gay men it is very difficult to have meaningful connections with partners. This, I suppose, is the advantage we have as straight men - once a girl's seduced and taken to bed, there's a clear pathway to making her your girlfriend. For gay men, not so much. They will also never know the satisfaction of successfully seducing a beautiful person from cold approach to bedding.

It's interesting taking a moment to think about seduction from their perspective though, isn't it? It also makes me think that having a gay wing might be very powerful indeed, in providing that outsider's perspective.

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

This kinda blew my mind. We seducers devote YEARS to perfecting a craft that, to gays, would be utter nonsense. It makes sense though, that if you were dating somebody who is hardwired the same way as you, there's really no need for any sort of strategizing. There is far more complexity involved in a man seducing a woman than a man seducing a man.

Agreed. These days I don't even think about it as strategizing anymore (although I certainly used to think of it that way when I was still more stuck in my head). These days I think of it as: we want the same thing, women are also lonely and horny. They just have different minds.

To me, game is not strategizing anymore. It's tuning into the female mind and giving her the experience that SHE wants. It's becoming the romantic hero, it's becoming HER fantasy. Not as acting or faking anything, but as a demonstration of true empathy. Understanding her, and meeting her needs.

And if we focus on that, the women will love us for it and meet our needs as well. That has been my experience and that's how I see game these days: getting on HER wavelength and making a connection on HER terms first... and then guiding the interaction towards a mutually satisfying relationship that is wonderful for both of us.

It's interesting taking a moment to think about seduction from their perspective though, isn't it? It also makes me think that having a gay wing might be very powerful indeed, in providing that outsider's perspective.

Yeah, I have a bunch of very close gay friends, and I've learned A LOT from them. I started cold approaching in November 2002 because a gay friend of mine gave me some pointers about fashion, mindset and just grabbing my balls and walking up. Most my gay friends are bisexual and they are also VERY good with women.

 

[Atlas IV]

Agreed. These days I don't even think about it as strategizing anymore (although I certainly used to think of it that way when I was still more stuck in my head). These days I think of it as: we want the same thing, women are also lonely and horny. They just have different minds.

To me, game is not strategizing anymore. It's tuning into the female mind and giving her the experience that SHE wants. It's becoming the romantic hero, it's becoming HER fantasy. Not as acting or faking anything, but as a demonstration of true empathy. Understanding her, and meeting her needs.

And if we focus on that, the women will love us for it and meet our needs as well. That has been my experience and that's how I see game these days: getting on HER wavelength and making a connection on HER terms first... and then guiding the interaction towards a mutually satisfying relationship that is wonderful for both of us.

Could not agree more. That also dispels the whole "seduction is manipulation" woke bullshit arguments. Perhaps we should rebrand ourselves from "seducers" to "female fantasy fulfilment specialists" lol

Yeah, I have a bunch of very close gay friends, and I've learned A LOT from them. I started cold approaching in November 2002 because a gay friend of mine gave me some pointers about fashion, mindset and just grabbing my balls and walking up. Most my gay friends are bisexual and they are also VERY good with women.

I trust you meant "grab your balls" figuratively and he didn't literally

But yeah, there's a lot of insight to be gained from them, and things that we probably miss as straight guys. It would be interesting to have a guest article from a gay guy offering general advice to us from his perspective.