Getting girls as you get older

[DoWhatWorks]

I'm late 20's and the bulk of my lays have been from online, clubbing and a substantial amount of day game (cold approach)

Can feel the change in myself where none of the above particularly interest me as much as they used to.

For (30+) guys here how did you transition to still sleep with loads of girls (minimum 10+ a year consistently) in ways that matched an older lifestyle?

Here's what I've experimented with and would like to advance in 2024/25

• Fully automating my online dating. I've automated 50% with swipes but I'm going to hire VA's & experiment until I get dates in my diary without doing anything
• Going to more lowkey bars that feel like house parties. I.E lounge area on the ground floor then dance floor in the basement
• Art and product launch events
• Travelling with game competent guys & meeting girls there... The meeting foreign girls while abroad in a club vibe still excites me (for now)

Things I'm considering:

• Membership clubs like soho house but I get a feeling these will skew men and older girls and I'm not interested in either for my dating goals lol
• Networking professional events (have the same reservations as the above point)
• Dance classes - did this in the past and there were great ratios but found it was more social circle/friendly vs a way to lay girls but may be a limiting belief

Would love to hear people's thoughts and get some ideas...

 

[Skills]

Reason nobody responds is cause you are in your late 20s...

Older in my book is 38 plus ... Also nothing changes is pretty much the same if you are a seducer... I would advise guys to avoid the what would happen when on the future type post... Cause most of the time is flawed kj future speculation, live in the present worry about your future and seduction if you are 38 plus and even then, 38 plus guys unless post long term break up don't even worry much... Though, all your suggestions are valid... most guys in the community won't even make it past 30.... seduction is extremely taxing to go on for years or even decades.... anyways older people do online, older targeted bar and lounges, dance classes, group fitness such as CrossFit orange theory, networking and unfortunately work.... Yes some do the traveling stuff but again to be honest nothing changes...you just naturally will slow down and lose interest... again you have a loonnng way to go.

 

[DonGately]

What skills said. Hell, I don't think I truly leveled up until I was 36.

 

[POB]

Dude, come back when you are over 35!!!
Nothing is gonna change much until then, believe me

 

[Hue]

For (30+) guys here how did you transition to still sleep with loads of girls (minimum 10+ a year consistently) in ways that matched an older lifestyle?

I'm 27 right now and I can't fucking wait for 30. I take great care of my appearance, make time to socialize with new groups and/or people regularly, and am building my career in business.

So long as I keep those things going 30 is going to be a blast and I'll be at the top of my game (not my peak, just my top performance so far).

If you haven't read, there's plenty of science suggesting male attractiveness peaks at 35 and then slowly declines.

We have plenty of time now, and we have plenty of time then, my friend.

Hue

 

[Alpha13SC]

Dude, come back when you are over 35!!!
Nothing is gonna change much until then, believe me

What would you say it will be changed?

 

[Red]

If you're attractive and know how to carry yourself, you will never want for female company.

 

[DonGately]

Given the response of college girls to my game, I got better for several years after 36. I have a younger face, but still.

You'd think they'd not be interested in guys 2+ decades older, but you'd be wrong.

 

[Conquistador]

If you haven't read, there's plenty of science suggesting male attractiveness peaks at 35 and then slowly declines.

I once tried to search “when is a man’s peak attractiveness according to science” or something like that and the GPT-powered search engine came up with “men reach peak self-esteem in their early 80s”

All kidding aside, seems that inner game naturally improves over time for most men and that might be worth keeping in mind.

 

[DonGately]

My inner game did start to get super-tight as I got closer to 40. You really do stop caring what other people think, you're more confident and successful than when you were approaching 30 or 35 [for most of us] and young women who are intrigued by an older man naturally start to drift over to you.

 

[DoWhatWorks]

Thanks for everyone's contributions!

I found this the most helpful and confirmed my suspicions:

anyways older people do online, older targeted bar and lounges, dance classes, group fitness such as CrossFit orange theory, networking and unfortunately work

To be clear I didn't write this from a "am I doomed when older" perspective but more what ways can I make getting girls more integrated in my life vs something I carve out time for but I'll just fully accept there'll always be some effort required to make it work and never fully "passive".

Better I get the less time/effort will be needed though (as I'm already seeing) so I will focus on getting better and let things build from there.

 

[Sade]

I'm 44. Just got divorced from a 10 yr marriage (16 yrs total) and cannot believe how much interest I get from girls. Its nice cause you can go for pretty much any age range. If you think girls in their early 20's won't go for a 45 yr old, think again Looks like you're doing the right things. Just keep improving.

 

[DonGately]

21-25s def prefer 45yr men over 21-25s.

 

[Skills]

21-25s def prefer 45yr men over 21-25s.

prefer is a strong exaggeration... It is possible to sleep with those women at older age, but prefer is not factual.... after 10 years you are polarizing more so it will require good fundamentals, more numbers and look for that percentage of that age range that will be willing to do it... if you are 45 and you don't look like you are in your 30s it will be much harder....

 

[Chase]

21-25s def prefer 45yr men over 21-25s.

prefer is a strong exaggeration... It is possible to sleep with those women at older age, but prefer is not factual.... after 10 years you are polarizing more so it will require good fundamentals, more numbers and look for that percentage of that age range that will be willing to do it... if you are 45 and you don't look like you are in your 30s it will be much harder....

The big bonus as a guy over 35 or so when dealing with younger gals seems to be the authority bonus + some degree of automatic preselection if you're a cool-looking, confident older dude. There's also the standout effect, where being older and still put together makes you stand out a lot, since there are so many guys at your age who've stopped caring about their appearances and come across worn down by life.

Some segment of young chicks clearly prefer older guys over younger guys, but how large that segment is is up for debate. I've seen various percentages thrown around on the Internet...

Anyway, @DoWhatWorks, like what @Skills said:

• Chill nightlife lounges that attract older crowds (these will still usually have chicks in their mid-to-late 20s, and sometimes early 20s, and generally these girls will be into older guys by default).
  
  
• Frequented venue pickups -- e.g., if you go often to cafés, little restaurants, corner dive bars, etc., you will tend to socialize with the staff, other people there, and when a cute girl walks in may chat her up / pick her up.
  
  
• Opportunistic day game -- especially if you walk a lot. Sometimes you just see a really cute girl in the perfect place for an approach and you can just go in. Also grocery stores, pharmacies, etc.
  
  
• Guys who are into older gals can pick up at networking events or work. There are a lot of 30+ married chicks looking for affair partners or flings at these places too. Depends where you draw the line I suppose (not my cup of tea, but some guys love it). Many of these gals are fairly obvious about it / aggressive.
  
  
• If you travel often, there's also jet-set game. Pick up in the airport, pick up on the plane. Pick up at the destination. Travel shakes you out of your routine and it's easier to find the motivation to actively pick up on travel too. You're more intrigued to try out cool bars, chat up local girls, etc.
  
  
• A lot of older guys are doing online. I think it's something like 30% of men on online dating apps are married? It's something ridiculous. Most of those guys are going to be over 30 at least. Some girls will complain about it ("Every guy I meet from online is married!"). Many girls don't care...

Beach game is still good. So are the occasional ones, like if you go to a water park with your buddies and end up linking up with a group of chicks you meet and spending the day together there. There are also social clubs, but like work/networking these are mostly going to have older women, unless they're specifically designed to attract younger chicks (there are some high-end sports car clubs and things like that where you will get older guys with Lambos and a bunch of young gold diggers in the club, for instance).

Chase

 

[MuST0BtA1NSkR1Lla]

I'm late 20's and the bulk of my lays have been from online, clubbing and a substantial amount of day game (cold approach)

Can feel the change in myself where none of the above particularly interest me as much as they used to.

For (30+) guys here how did you transition to still sleep with loads of girls (minimum 10+ a year consistently) in ways that matched an older lifestyle?

Here's what I've experimented with and would like to advance in 2024/25

• Fully automating my online dating. I've automated 50% with swipes but I'm going to hire VA's & experiment until I get dates in my diary without doing anything
• Going to more lowkey bars that feel like house parties. I.E lounge area on the ground floor then dance floor in the basement
• Art and product launch events
• Travelling with game competent guys & meeting girls there... The meeting foreign girls while abroad in a club vibe still excites me (for now)

Things I'm considering:

• Membership clubs like soho house but I get a feeling these will skew men and older girls and I'm not interested in either for my dating goals lol
• Networking professional events (have the same reservations as the above point)
• Dance classes - did this in the past and there were great ratios but found it was more social circle/friendly vs a way to lay girls but may be a limiting belief

Would love to hear people's thoughts and get some ideas...

Not thirty plus yet but I think I sling shotted myself through a transition recently so I’ll just mention what I’ve been up too.

I’m not much of a traveller, I took a page out of Warren Buffets book and mostly stick to the routine of sitting around bougie coffee shops and plying video games. But I looked at the Soho house. Seems nice, from what I’ve seen of those types of establishments is that they are sorta dead during the weekdays of course it depends on location and some other factors.

I’ve so very rarely seen a single chick show up to these private clubs though, it’s mostly guys and when there are chicks along they are coming with the husband/boyfriend

I chose my social clubs with two factors in mind, do they have a gym? And do they have a hot sauna? Pretty much all I use there.

I used to do Equinox the location they had here though became really really dirty and poor after Covid so I don’t go there anymore. But I’d say choosing out a nice gym is a good idea. Soul Cycle, Pilates, Yoga.

If you own property and you’ve decorated it nicely I’d recommend dinner parties as a great avenue. Let’s me show off some of the better recipes I’ve been working on such as a seafood pasta, lasagna, pasta and meatballs *[If you can’t tell been doing a lot of pasta dishes for dinner recently]

Reason I host dinner parties is the type of people I’ve been seeing at Gala’s this year are already coupled and the ones who aren’t are divorced and pretty much for my eye trashbin material.

Lastly as materialistic as this part sounds just go out and be outside. Jogging, furniture shopping, gardening, sight seeing. If you have a particular taste you are aiming to get try to draw your activities as a bolster towards it. *[Fit chicks = fit activities etc]

Cheers
MuSt0

 

[Rain]

At what point do 18-21yr olds not want a man because, age? Many here have written about 40s. I asked in another thread about like 50,60,70,80,90.... Chase said "he'll let me know" which, I think was not necessarily to be taken literally.

Mick Jagger got a 29yr old pregnant at early 70s. But, thats 29.... not 18. I know Will_V had an example of a man early 60s and an 18 or 19 made a move on him, but they were neighbours. It wasn't a cold approach in the supermarket. That said.... the age gap still exists even if it was more social circle/slow game/long game than cold approach.

If what Skills says is true, that 45yr man but if the man doesn't look like he's in his 30s much more difficult, same rule applies for a man in his 50s, 70s, 90s? etc? Needs to look in his 30s to get many potential chances with 18-21yr old?

 

[POB]

At what point do 18-21yr olds not want a man because, age? Many here have written about 40s. I asked in another thread about like 50,60,70,80,90.... Chase said "he'll let me know" which, I think was not necessarily to be taken literally.

Mick Jagger got a 29yr old pregnant at early 70s. But, thats 29.... not 18. I know Will_V had an example of a man early 60s and an 18 or 19 made a move on him, but they were neighbours. It wasn't a cold approach in the supermarket. That said.... the age gap still exists even if it was more social circle/slow game/long game than cold approach.

If what Skills says is true, that 45yr man but if the man doesn't look like he's in his 30s much more difficult, same rule applies for a man in his 50s, 70s, 90s? etc? Needs to look in his 30s to get many potential chances with 18-21yr old?

Honestly, who cares?
You are clearly overthinking this stuff.
Just keep taking care of yourself:
- improve your seduction,
- don't smoke,
- don't overdrink,
- lift weights,
- follow a good diet plan,
- dress well
- apply moisturizer to your body and sunscreen on your face every day...
and you will be fine.
Do that and young girls will want you, no matter your age.

 

[DonGately]

My many years of experience* of being 10-15+ years older [or more] than the girl in the 19-25 range is that ~75-80% of them are *open* to dating a much older man: the confidence, the authority, the presumed power differentials, assuming you dress solidly and are in ~reasonable shape it is a very attractive proposition for a younger woman, especially if she's not looking to settle down. Maybe she wants ONS.... Maybe a 3-week to 4-month fling, who knows? And then also those who think it would be more serious with an older guy, not that I use that angle.

Of course you have to be able to pull it off. That goes without saying. If you look 10+ years older than you are, probably going to not work well.

I would estimate the hot girls who prefer older dudes at somewhere btw 20-30% of population not just based on who I have dated, but conversations with girls I'm acquainted with or even just sitting next to at a bar. And then another X% who truly don't care if they date a 30, 35, 40, 45 and so on, but are indifferent to an age gap.

If you live in a city [any city] and have a few bars on lock, the girls will start talking to you or make themselves very open to being approached ['Who is this older gentleman, I'm intrigued!']. You'll have both direct and indirect social proofing working for you.
And sometimes girls who see you in the bar/lounge but aren't open then for whatever reason [girls' night only, et al] will see you somewhere else like the places Chase and others have noted and be very open to chatting with you then - the grocery store, the gym, bookstore, waiting at a parking garage, museum, flower show, coffee shop, mall.

I can honestly say I've never been turned down by a young woman for being too 'old,' or received a reaction/facial expression like that either. At a bare minimum they've been flattered by the brief attention.

* all in big cities/nearby suburbs with ez commute, so I can't speak for otherwise in flyover country.

 

[DonGately]

prefer is a strong exaggeration... It is possible to sleep with those women at older age, but prefer is not factual.... after 10 years you are polarizing more

I disagree. It's not just possible -- it's easier [and that's not even including those naughty ones with serious Daddy kinks].

It's better to stand out from the crowd of 21-25 yr old boys, and let's face it, they are boys compared to 35-50 yr old men. And we have seen hot, younger women prefer older, successful men since forever, I'm not rewriting the history books here.

Now, maybe they prefer to marry someone closer in age but that's not what I'm talking about. There's just no way I've been slaying the past decade+ as an older man with intermediate game because I'm some sort of magical unicorn. It's the way most of them are hardwired.