- Joined
- Jul 6, 2014
- Messages
- 486
I met her (hbBadass) at a bookstore yesterday: https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/skippys-daygame-journal.21957/page-7#post-131450
This morning she sent me this text out of the blue --before I even sent her an icebreaker--we did text each other our names to make sure we had each others numbers(she initiated that) but I didn't even send her a proper ice breaker
Her: Hey Skippy! I'm not sure if you're still up to grab coffee and chat sometime. If not, that's completely fine! I'm glad we got to talk briefly yesterday and I wish you the best on your journey!! If you are I'm up for it as well! However I would like to ask beforehand, are the intentions to talk and get to know each other as friends or as possibly more than friends? I ask this because I'm not going to put myself in a situationship. I'm fine with it being as friends as well as something more. Either or doesn't matter, just not a situation ship cuz I don't do that. Ahahahaha. so yeah!
Definition (situationship): An undefined relationship. I just learned that word today haha
I feel like if I just come out and say something more than friends, it'll kill the intrigue, but at the same time she's basically saying the intrigue is eating way at her. And the fact that she sent such a long text, initiated, and said she was 'open to more' shows high interest on her part. Even when exchanging numbers she made sure I texted her so that we had each others numbers.
So does anyone have insights on the situation or suggestions on how to answer this?
Girl 2: hbBadass
She's receptive, and starts talking about what she knows about the book. So I say "oh you seem to know a lot about the personal development books " I go into how this book reminds me of Mark Manson's book "subtle art of not giving a f*ck". She's like "OHH yea I've heard about that book"
She mentions how she likes paperback books over online, and then I point to Jay shetty's face and say how "I heard this guy is a joke though" and how he plagiarizes his quotes and never was actually a monk.
Her: I heard some story about how he met his girlfriend [tells story]
Me: Oh so that's a really round about story
Her: cuz you focus on your life and whatever else that comes
She talks about how his videos pop up on her feed and so I describe how he talks about how life is not linear, which I agree with.
Spoiler: Multi-dimensionality of time
I ask the golden question (now that she's cut out social media). She says reading and I transition to asking her what self-development books or authors is she familiar with or reads. She's read Breaking the habit of being you, and another book on how to be a good parent (she's not a parent) but she's using it to 'parent' herself and she's really into personal growth.
She mentions how violence (in parenting) is never the answer. Here the conversation takes a slightly dark turn
Me: Oh yea I feel like with Asian households, violence is a common form of discipline
Her; yea my parents didn't do it because they wanted to but they did it because that's how they were taught to show love
I say I would never use it to discipline after seeing what it can do, growing up, and how it's a cycle where parents were raised that way so each generation gets less and less 'violent'. but honestly, I didn't want to go down this conversational route. Usually, the details are only something I talk about post-sex to show vulnerability. I shouldn't have even continued that thread.
But anyway the convo changes to where our families are from. Her family is from an obscure region in China and her family speaks another dialect (not Mandarin, and not Cantonese) although she can speak Cantonese. She's shocked that I know of that dialect. And I just play it off saying it's a long story (in truth, it involves my ex). She doesn't ask details but she's definitely super surprised.
She asks where my family is from and the topic transitions to Asian cities. So I say how you really feel alive when you travel to these places, even the simple things like ac and a cool drink are much more enjoyable.
I suss out what her logistics are and she's just browsing for books but her friends are shopping and she's going to meet up with them later. So I tell her I'd like to continue this conversation later. She adds her number in my phone and then has me text her to make sure she got my number and then she sends me a text to make sure it goes through.
We talk for another 5-10 minutes during which I tap into childhood nostalgia by asking her what books she grew up reading in elementary school (we're in a bookstore after-all) I try and figure out more logistics by asking her where she lives and tell her where I live and actually she doesn't come by to my district too often because parking there is a bitch. This is the first chick I've met who drives around. Otherwise she lives way too far to actually do anything. My plan is to get her to come to my district by telling her I know where she can get parking. I know of a parking lot behind my apartment that's usually empty, just, we're not allowed to park overnight which shouldn't be an issue.
I end it by saying I'm going to go browse the books on the upper floor and tell her I'll text her and we can get a coffee sometime.
She's receptive, and starts talking about what she knows about the book. So I say "oh you seem to know a lot about the personal development books " I go into how this book reminds me of Mark Manson's book "subtle art of not giving a f*ck". She's like "OHH yea I've heard about that book"
She mentions how she likes paperback books over online, and then I point to Jay shetty's face and say how "I heard this guy is a joke though" and how he plagiarizes his quotes and never was actually a monk.
Her: I heard some story about how he met his girlfriend [tells story]
Me: Oh so that's a really round about story
Her: cuz you focus on your life and whatever else that comes
She talks about how his videos pop up on her feed and so I describe how he talks about how life is not linear, which I agree with.
Spoiler: Multi-dimensionality of time
I ask the golden question (now that she's cut out social media). She says reading and I transition to asking her what self-development books or authors is she familiar with or reads. She's read Breaking the habit of being you, and another book on how to be a good parent (she's not a parent) but she's using it to 'parent' herself and she's really into personal growth.
She mentions how violence (in parenting) is never the answer. Here the conversation takes a slightly dark turn
Me: Oh yea I feel like with Asian households, violence is a common form of discipline
Her; yea my parents didn't do it because they wanted to but they did it because that's how they were taught to show love
I say I would never use it to discipline after seeing what it can do, growing up, and how it's a cycle where parents were raised that way so each generation gets less and less 'violent'. but honestly, I didn't want to go down this conversational route. Usually, the details are only something I talk about post-sex to show vulnerability. I shouldn't have even continued that thread.
But anyway the convo changes to where our families are from. Her family is from an obscure region in China and her family speaks another dialect (not Mandarin, and not Cantonese) although she can speak Cantonese. She's shocked that I know of that dialect. And I just play it off saying it's a long story (in truth, it involves my ex). She doesn't ask details but she's definitely super surprised.
She asks where my family is from and the topic transitions to Asian cities. So I say how you really feel alive when you travel to these places, even the simple things like ac and a cool drink are much more enjoyable.
I suss out what her logistics are and she's just browsing for books but her friends are shopping and she's going to meet up with them later. So I tell her I'd like to continue this conversation later. She adds her number in my phone and then has me text her to make sure she got my number and then she sends me a text to make sure it goes through.
We talk for another 5-10 minutes during which I tap into childhood nostalgia by asking her what books she grew up reading in elementary school (we're in a bookstore after-all) I try and figure out more logistics by asking her where she lives and tell her where I live and actually she doesn't come by to my district too often because parking there is a bitch. This is the first chick I've met who drives around. Otherwise she lives way too far to actually do anything. My plan is to get her to come to my district by telling her I know where she can get parking. I know of a parking lot behind my apartment that's usually empty, just, we're not allowed to park overnight which shouldn't be an issue.
I end it by saying I'm going to go browse the books on the upper floor and tell her I'll text her and we can get a coffee sometime.
Thoughts
I only did 2 approaches, and I was hoping to do 1-2 more. I did chat up a girl at the bus stop, but I wasn't attracted to her. With the second girl, I feel like it was just easy to talk to her because she was so talkative and receptive. But I didn't do any reality pacing or really anything...I did build social frame quite decently, I think, and a little bit of emotional stimulation when I brought back the nostalgia of childhood books. In terms of sexual arousal...I think that might've been a weak point. Because to be quite honest, I wasn't actively subcommunicating sexual subcoms. My eye contact was okay, and my voice was unregulated...so it probably wasn't enough. But I also, felt like she was really into me, so I didn't really try to do much.This morning she sent me this text out of the blue --before I even sent her an icebreaker--we did text each other our names to make sure we had each others numbers(she initiated that) but I didn't even send her a proper ice breaker
Her: Hey Skippy! I'm not sure if you're still up to grab coffee and chat sometime. If not, that's completely fine! I'm glad we got to talk briefly yesterday and I wish you the best on your journey!! If you are I'm up for it as well! However I would like to ask beforehand, are the intentions to talk and get to know each other as friends or as possibly more than friends? I ask this because I'm not going to put myself in a situationship. I'm fine with it being as friends as well as something more. Either or doesn't matter, just not a situation ship cuz I don't do that. Ahahahaha. so yeah!
Definition (situationship): An undefined relationship. I just learned that word today haha
I feel like if I just come out and say something more than friends, it'll kill the intrigue, but at the same time she's basically saying the intrigue is eating way at her. And the fact that she sent such a long text, initiated, and said she was 'open to more' shows high interest on her part. Even when exchanging numbers she made sure I texted her so that we had each others numbers.
So does anyone have insights on the situation or suggestions on how to answer this?
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sound good?
