Calls & Texts Girl prefer talk on phone

[vicknick]

I approached a girl and she was quite receptive and talkative. Went back and texted her, we went back and forth texting, and she was also receptive and even asked me questions about myself.

Then when I asked her about her schedule for a coffee date, she said let's continue talk on phone.

(back and forth texting for quite a while)
Me: How's your schedule next week? We can meet up for a coffee
Her: Haha it's okay, let's continue talk on the phone

How do you interpret this situation? For me, I would just shrug off and say "yeah no problem", and continue texting, then probably next week asked for date again. How would you reply for this?

 

[Skills]

Seems a safety concern

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

How do you interpret this situation? For me, I would just shrug off and say "yeah no problem", and continue texting, then probably next week asked for date again. How would you reply for this?

I would be very glad about the situation, personally. Talking gives me much more influence. Her hearing my voice, and me hearing her real time reactions would make the game easier for me.

She might prefer talking, she might be frustrated with your style of texting, she might want to speed things up, she might be concerned that you're crazy.

In any event, talking is far superior to texting.

 

[ulrich]

She’s stalling but also conceding. Play her game, call her once, chat and then invite again.

 

[Will_V]

@vicknick I think you mean that she wanted to continue texting rather than meeting up?

'haha that's ok' is also a very poor response to suggesting a coffee. She's either worried about something (in which case it's still a weird thing to say) or is feeling way too comfortable shutting things down. Sounds like she's not feeling any pressure to invest anything to keep you around. Did you seed the date in person and come across as a busy guy with stuff going on?

Sounds like you might have also overdone the texting and made her think she could just stay on there chit chatting.

 

[Calibration]

When she said "talking on the phone", I think she meant continue the conversation on the phone and not meeting in person.

Either she was not primed enough for hard-close and you should've soft-closed first or she just wants an orbiter for attention

 

[Skills]

I approached a girl and she was quite receptive and talkative. Went back and texted her, we went back and forth texting, and she was also receptive and even asked me questions about myself.

Then when I asked her about her schedule for a coffee date, she said let's continue talk on phone.

(back and forth texting for quite a while)
Me: How's your schedule next week? We can meet up for a coffee
Her: Haha it's okay, let's continue talk on the phone

How do you interpret this situation? For me, I would just shrug off and say "yeah no problem", and continue texting, then probably next week asked for date again. How would you reply for this?

Again, you went for hard close without doing what i call a soft close, so she is unsure she does not know if she wants to meet or not, instead of rejecting you or ghosting, she gave you a none sensical type knee jerk reaction on the moment respone, lets talk on the phone... comes back she is not sure that is why you minimize this by soft closing... but usually in most cases when girls specially old want to do phone or web is more safety and to avoid catfish... so in this case is more she is not sold on you and she stalling vs flat out rejection or ghosting, which is not necessary bad but could have been avoided with a soft close

 

[Skills]

When she said "talking on the phone", I think she meant continue the conversation on the phone and not meeting in person.

Either she was not primed enough for hard-close and you should've soft-closed first or she just wants an orbiter for attention

Lol good catch

 

[vicknick]

She’s stalling but also conceding.

What do you mean by this?

 

[vicknick]

@vicknick I think you mean that she wanted to continue texting rather than meeting up?

'haha that's ok' is also a very poor response to suggesting a coffee. She's either worried about something (in which case it's still a weird thing to say) or is feeling way too comfortable shutting things down. Sounds like she's not feeling any pressure to invest anything to keep you around. Did you seed the date in person and come across as a busy guy with stuff going on?

Sounds like you might have also overdone the texting and made her think she could just stay on there chit chatting.

Yes, she wanted to text on phone first before meeting up (from what I interpret). I didn't stay always on my phone keep texting her when I receive her text. Sometimes would only reply after an hour if I am busy.

I didn't seed the date in person, because from her in-person response, I think it's too early to seed the date. That's why I was thinking to continue build comfort on phone before asking her out.

If she is feeling too comfortable with this, how would you reply to her?

 

[vicknick]

Again, you went for hard close without doing what i call a soft close, so she is unsure she does not know if she wants to meet or not, instead of rejecting you or ghosting, she gave you a none sensical type knee jerk reaction on the moment respone, lets talk on the phone... comes back she is not sure that is why you minimize this by soft closing... but usually in most cases when girls specially old want to do phone or web is more safety and to avoid catfish... so in this case is more she is not sold on you and she stalling vs flat out rejection or ghosting, which is not necessary bad but could have been avoided with a soft close

So if she rejects my soft close, I have to push a bit more if it's red (I read your article on this)? Like saying "I thought your were cool, but if you not willing to get to know me is ok"?

I felt this is too "reactive" to her, like she just rejects me and I am being not happy (not really not happy, but from her prespective she would think I am not happy).

 

[ulrich]

What do you mean by this?

She is letting you move forward (which is good) but setting a slow pace for the seduction (which is not that good).

 

[PaulieFlyn10]

She is letting you move forward (which is good) but setting a slow pace for the seduction (which is not that good).

Hate when this happens

When it does, i just eject and stop gaming all together

 

[Will_V]

Yes, she wanted to text on phone first before meeting up (from what I interpret). I didn't stay always on my phone keep texting her when I receive her text. Sometimes would only reply after an hour if I am busy.

I didn't seed the date in person, because from her in-person response, I think it's too early to seed the date. That's why I was thinking to continue build comfort on phone before asking her out.

If she is feeling too comfortable with this, how would you reply to her?

Seeding the date is one of the most important things to avoid ghosting and flaking. You don't have to necessarily nail down all the logistics but she has to know that that is your intention, so that when you text her she knows where everything is going. It is also a means for you to emphasize to her from the get go that you are interested in building an in person relationship, so that she has this clear in her head and you don't run into this kind of insecurity she's giving you where she didn't know what you wanted and then some random message springs up trying to get her to go out.

The idea that loads of comfort and rapport building is required for a date is simply wrong. A date is a very ordinary first step in getting to know her, the phone is just a way to make that happen. It's a little bit of an investment, ok, but that's why you begin when you're face to face when she's most open and interested in you.

The phone is nothing but a cockblock and is not a device that helps you in any way with seduction, when you are on there you are nothing but spam to her. In person is where everything relevant happens, and the phone is simply a necessary evil in the process of getting to the date where you can actually build attraction and have fun.

 

[Skills]

So if she rejects my soft close, I have to push a bit more if it's red (I read your article on this)? Like saying "I thought your were cool, but if you not willing to get to know me is ok"?

I felt this is too "reactive" to her, like she just rejects me and I am being not happy (not really not happy, but from her prespective she would think I am not happy).

Nooo, if she does not bite soft close you cont banter and at high point soft close again, you are mixing concepts what you are talking about is for no going any were interactions with reds and you are missquoting the sample

 

[vicknick]

Seeding the date is one of the most important things to avoid ghosting and flaking. You don't have to necessarily nail down all the logistics but she has to know that that is your intention, so that when you text her she knows where everything is going.

What if her in-person response is not that good during pick-up, like she is not that enthusiastic when talking to you, but still willing to give her number when you asked for it? Do you seed the date regardless of that?

What if when you seed the date, she say "We will see first", but still willing to give her number? Do you continue build attraction on phone before asking her out again?

 

[vicknick]

Nooo, if she does not bite soft close you cont banter and at high point soft close again, you are mixing concepts what you are talking about is for no going any were interactions with reds and you are missquoting the sample

Yes I mean for reds, wouldn't the line "I thought your were cool, but if you not willing to get to know me is ok" be too reactive? I think when she sees this, she will think "this guys is getting annoyed he didn't get the date". She would most likely not reply, or just say "it's ok for me".

 

[Will_V]

What if her in-person response is not that good during pick-up, like she is not that enthusiastic when talking to you, but still willing to give her number when you asked for it? Do you seed the date regardless of that?

What if when you seed the date, she say "We will see first", but still willing to give her number? Do you continue build attraction on phone before asking her out again?

Then it's probably a dud, simple as that.

You have to understand when you are asking all these pessimistic questions that the answer is 'probably it'll end up going nowhere'. It's your job to get things right, to get the most important things the most right. The most important thing is her level of respect and baseline attraction to you, which is evidenced by her level of compliance. If this dips, everything gets a lot more unlikely.

You do not go to the phone to save anything. Seduction is like climbing up a cliff, and going to the phone is having one hand and one foot removed. If you're right near the top, it's fine. If you are near the bottom, you're screwed. Forget about using the phone for anything except stemming the loss of attraction as well as you can while you quickly get on the date. It is not a tool for building attraction of any kind.

If she's unenthusiastic during the conversation, you've got to pick that up quickly and try to sort it out right then and there. That's why you don't ask for the # unless things are going very well or you simply have to end it for whatever reason. Seduction is make or break on the approach, there's no 'break and repair later on the phone'.

If she's not enthusiastic during the approach, well typically I like to be a bit more pushy and add more pressure. Use stronger eye contact, tease more, do more push/pull, try to arouse more emotion in her and make her feel less in control. If that doesn't work, she's obviously not very amenable to my vibe and it's probably best to move on.