"Good" interaction but rude rejection over text - have you guys had this happen? It's messing with my head.

[Beam]

Hey fellas,

I approached a brunette yesterday who had a black mask on and piercing bright blue eyes.

Approach:

At the traffic light I made eye contact, let her pass and then came up to her and delivered the opener really strongly and genuinely:

B: "Hey, I just noticed you and thought - the way your eyes contrast the mask is really striking, I had to come and say something!"

She was overjoyed and thanked me. The lights turned green - I kept walking with her and found out her logistics. She was heading home to prepare for work the next day - she worked as a makeup artist for photoshoots - she would do the makeup, the photos would be taken and then immediately the makeup would have to be removed, which she bemoaned.

She started opening up, telling me all about her job and showing me pictures of what she did on her phone. Really excitedly too "I'll show you!!".

A lot of them involved making fake bruises. I joked around with her "is that really makeup or did you actually knock them out? I'm onto you" and made sure to touch her as she laughed. I even shared details about myself, talking about work and also how I'd done my own bruise makeup a few weeks ago as a lockdown project.

At a light when she was going the other direction, I said "well, I was just going to head home, but you're interesting and I want to find out more so I'd love to walk and talk for a bit".

She said "Sure!!". We walked and interacted for probably 7 more minutes before I said

B: "Oh wow, we've come out a bit further than I thought! I should head back that way actually." (true)
H: "That's ok! I'm just up this way anyway"
B: "Hey this has been fun. I'd love to find out more - we should grab a drink sometime"
H: "Sure!"
B: "I'll text you"

I pulled out my phone, and gave it to her while she entered her details.

B: "*her name*"
H: "That's all you're getting for now"
B: "Ohhh, mysterious girl huh".
H: *laugh*
B: "It was lovely to meet you, bye"
H: "Bye!"

It felt good, really good after a string of awkward approaches earlier in the day. But alas, it was not to be.

Icebreaker:
I accidentally sent the icebreaker to another Kate, but then sent it to this one around 5 hours after our interaction (8:00PM) when I realized my mistake:

B: "Hey H with the striking eyes and mask, it's B! Glad we got to link up earlier. Save my number

Didn't get a response until 1:30PM the next day. All it was was a photo of Simon Cowell waving dismissively with the caption "It's a no from me"

Felt like a sucker punch. I would have preferred a "fuck off" during the interaction or even getting ghosted. Initially I suspected I might have texted another snarky girl with the same common name who I knew in the past in my phone and the girl from yesterdays number didn't save properly, but I confirmed snarky girls number with a friend who had it and it wasn't hers.

Reasons:
I suspect that I didn't qualify her enough in the interaction (didn't even see her damn face like an idiot because of the mask - still getting the conversational memory down to ask to see it). But still, this seemed unnecessarily dismissive. And it honestly, out of all the approaches I've done over the last month, has been the one that has stung the most, just because of how much it has made me doubt how I am coming across. I've gotten plenty of comments from girls saying I come across as "charming, confident, normal". But this one is messing with my head so much because it felt like a good connection.

Have any of you experienced something like this? Is there something obvious that could have caused it?

 

[ulrich]

It’s really hard to say what exactly caused this. The thing with cold approaches is that they can go wrong for a lot of reasons out of your control (she may have a boyfriend, be married, not really into your type, she is very fickle, etc...)

Some of the approaches you do will turn out to nothing and you will not know why.
That’s part of this game.

I think you should be proud that you got this far.
I know it’s not yet where you want to be but you’re getting some interesting results.

Next time, I suggest you try to get a buy-in for a date before you get her number or try to get an instant date.
“Hey, do you like coffee? I know an amazing place just around the corner”
“What do you say if we go for a bite this week?”

If she agrees, the chances she answers your messages are higher.

Also, another thing.
I’ve dated some girls in the artistic environment (actress, painters, makeup artists, etc...) and they tend to be very fickle and change their moods easily, very fast and for no apparent reason.
I’d try to call her just to see if I could find her in a different mood... but these girls are really much of a hit or miss.

 

[Skills]

it happens sometimes you even have amazing interactions and they don't even text back, that is why you need multiple interactions, and go as far as you can in those interactions.

 

[Slick]

lol this girl is a cunt for sending that to you. Be glad you saved time and money.

stop with the mental masturbation of “why it went wrong”. These random pickups on the street rarely work because you’re a nobody to her. She is more likely to hop into bed with some random dude who gets tagged in a social media post by one of her friends, just because she has a tangential connection with them.

there is a reason why pickup is dead. It really doesn’t work. You should focus on creating a system where girls come to you first and stop wasting your energy on random make up artists who will feel entitled after you tell them they are hot.

Women have the abundance mentality which is why they are ultra confident in dating. They feel like any guy would be lucky to get with them because they have a vagina. Women make guys jump through hoops to get with them when it should be the other way around.

 

[ulrich]

She is more likely to hop into bed with some random dude who gets tagged in a social media

pickup is dead. It really doesn’t work.

Women have the abundance mentality which is why they are ultra confident in dating.

They feel like any guy would be lucky to get with them because they have a vagina.

Bro, do you even date?

 

[Mike Silvertree]

@Slick:there is a reason why pickup is dead. It really doesn’t work.

If that 's what you believe, this is the wrong place for you to post.

 

[Slick]

Bro, do you even date?

In a post above you admitted that pick up game can go wrong for a number of reasons out of his control. In my opinion OP sounds like a good dude, he was treated pretty badly by a girl who
didn’t even give him a chance

Im talking about cold approach. Not all pickup. Why is cold approach good in 2020? Especially when you’re supposed to be social distancing. I haven’t seen examples of guys having success from cold approach in the past 6 months but if you have some please share.

I’m just trying to make guys more efficient. To me if you’re doing 100 approaches and getting 1 lay, that’s not good at all but if you feel differently please explain why.

 

[D_Smooth1900]

Man I was reading it and I as like my boy is smooth, that was a super clean

First of all don't beat yourself up these things happen.

Second you never know, what's going on with her, but I feel you if she wasn't interested why even bother wasting your time.

Overall from my observation ill make the conclusion that she was enjoying the attention you were giving her, why she didn't put you in the back burner or given you a chance probably has to do that she definitely had a BF or some side dude.

Because the way your describing it sounds like she was definitely feeling you in the moment then after you guys split reality hit her and she was like, ”whoa what am I doing?” at least that's how I see it.

Either way bro good stuff definitely good opening good convo if it was meant to be it was meant to be.

Just don't beat yourself over it you did everything right just with the wrong girl

 

[ulrich]

In a post above you admitted that pick up game can go wrong for a number of reasons out of his control. In my opinion OP sounds like a good dude, he was treated pretty badly by a girl who
didn’t even give him a chance

Im talking about cold approach. Not all pickup. Why is cold approach good in 2020? Especially when you’re supposed to be social distancing. I haven’t seen examples of guys having success from cold approach in the past 6 months but if you have some please share.

I’m just trying to make guys more efficient. To me if you’re doing 100 approaches and getting 1 lay, that’s not good at all but if you feel differently please explain why.

Even if that was your intention, you showed not only unhelpful but plain wrong ideas (the ones I quoted).

Being a woman is no ride in the park and women don’t hold ultimate power in sex and relationships.
Most women are actually pretty shy if you get to know them closely.

I suggest you tone down your “confidence” and hang on around here and in the Girlschase site with a more “open to learn” attitude.
The rabbit hole goes deeper than you think.

 

[Velasco]

Overall from my observation ill make the conclusion that she was enjoying the attention you were giving her, why she didn't put you in the back burner or given you a chance probably has to do that she definitely had a BF or some side dude.

Because the way your describing it sounds like she was definitely feeling you in the moment then after you guys split reality hit her and she was like, ”whoa what am I doing?” at least that's how I see it.

yeah yesterday in that chat, I spoke with fog about this and said that he'd should have gone for the SDL (lone set + she was feeling him + heading to the sex location).

Just invite himself in to see her studio. Then smoothly ramp up the sexual tension there and gone for it. For me, "Hey this has been fun. I'd love to find out more - we should grab a drink sometime" -> opportunity for her to mention she had a serious bf and let him down easy. So because she didn't, the strange follow up text from her suggests she did have a bf, but felt guilty about it, like you said.

 

[Slick]

Even if that was your intention, you showed not only unhelpful but plain wrong ideas (the ones I quoted).

Being a woman is no ride in the park and women don’t hold ultimate power in sex and relationships.
Most women are actually pretty shy if you get to know them closely.

I suggest you tone down your “confidence” and hang on around here and in the Girlschase site with a more “open to learn” attitude.
The rabbit hole goes deeper than you think.

Saying my ideas are “wrong” is a pretty big statement. You should know that the ideas on here are subjective and that no one is actually “right” (anyone on this board who claims everything they say is right is probably a narcissist).

if anything, guys like OP should be willing to hear things that are uncomfortable to hear. If you’re just telling him things he wants or hear, you’re doing him a disservice and stunting his growth.

The main reason I’m here is because I don’t want guys to make the same mistakes I did. I spent years going after uninterested women under similar circumstances. Now I get decent results. I’m not the one to brag about going on dates with unattractive women online and I’ll gladly admit when I’m not doing that well in game rather than lying about the kinds of women I’m getting in order to boost my ego. Im all about doing things that are efficient. To me the mass approach method is highly outdated and in the age of corona not likely to deliver results.

You told OP that he should get buy in before asking for her number but if you had read his post properly you would have seen that he asked her to get a drink before he asked for her number.

I stand by my original statement that he shouldn’t even think about what he did wrong. It’s her loss. Having the mindset that he needed to do or say something different is counterproductive at best.

 

[Velasco]

he was treated pretty badly by a girl who
didn’t even give him a chance

And if she sent that text because she felt bad the following day about having thoughts about cheating on her boyfriend, is she still the bad person here? Rhetorical question of course cause neither of us are narcissist, right?

Why is cold approach good in 2020? Especially when you’re supposed to be social distancing.

.....yeah you keep following them rules there, boy. Don't wanna be getting too close to them girls now lol

I haven’t seen examples of guys having success from cold approach in the past 6 months but if you have some please share.

Back to back SNLs in my last two outings. For me, I find that as long as my motivation to go out is good + I stay sober enough (which is a challenge in and of itself lol) I generally do well, picking up girls from the street.

To me if you’re doing 100 approaches and getting 1 lay, that’s not good at all but if you feel differently please explain why.

No you're right. That is a horrible bad ratio. I'd suggest anyone with that ratio really take a hard look at what they're currently doing and fix that shit ASAP. And guess what?

I stand by my original statement that he shouldn’t even think about what he did wrong. It’s her loss. Having the mindset that he needed to do or say something different is counterproductive at best.

Making posts like these, asking guys with more experience, why'd he do wrong (when it's clear she was showing signs of interest) is how guys are able to cut down on that ratio. Instead of listening to guys who say, "ya I know she enthusiastically agreed to have drinks with ya but nah bro she really wasn't interested anyway lol."

 

[DoWhatWorks]

Saying my ideas are “wrong” is a pretty big statement. You should know that the ideas on here are subjective and that no one is actually “right” (anyone on this board who claims everything they say is right is probably a narcissist).

if anything, guys like OP should be willing to hear things that are uncomfortable to hear. If you’re just telling him things he wants or hear, you’re doing him a disservice and stunting his growth.

The main reason I’m here is because I don’t want guys to make the same mistakes I did. I spent years going after uninterested women under similar circumstances. Now I get decent results. I’m not the one to brag about going on dates with unattractive women online and I’ll gladly admit when I’m not doing that well in game rather than lying about the kinds of women I’m getting in order to boost my ego. Im all about doing things that are efficient. To me the mass approach method is highly outdated and in the age of corona not likely to deliver results.

You told OP that he should get buy in before asking for her number but if you had read his post properly you would have seen that he asked her to get a drink before he asked for her number.

I stand by my original statement that he shouldn’t even think about what he did wrong. It’s her loss. Having the mindset that he needed to do or say something different is counterproductive at best.

I agree with some of your points to be fair. The mindset of “her loss” can be useful especially in OP’s case.

Saying daygame is dead is outright wrong I had a recent lay from it just over 2 months ago Here.

I could even send voice notes & screenshots of girls who’ve sincerely thanked me for approaching. Girls don’t have it as great as you’d think

She is more likely to hop into bed with some random dude who gets tagged in a social media post by one of her friends

“Random dude” is deceiving. What you’re advocating is Instagram social circle game. This works but takes a lot of work upfront. Day game has a quicker investment to lay time if you’re good. It also lets you “bat above” your SMV.

If you’re getting results though all power to you.

@Beam We’ve all been in situations like this. When I am I just think of this quote:

“accept the things you cannot change, have courage to change the things you can, and wisdom to know the difference”

Wisdom only comes with practice so keep going, you’re doing the right things & results will come

 

[Velasco]

I could even send voice notes & screenshots of girls who’ve sincerely thanked me for approaching. Girls don’t have it as great as you’d think

“Random dude” is deceiving. What you’re advocating is Instagram social circle game. This works but takes a lot of work upfront. Day game has a quicker investment to lay time if you’re good. It also lets you “bat above” your SMV.

+1

Field experience Vs Keyboard Jockey

 

[Beam]

Wow, this got a lot of attention.

@uriel thanks man, I appreciate the kind words. I actually did try calling her but couldn't get through.

@Skills. Yeah, I know they don’t text back sometimes after a good interaction – I’ve had that happen now plenty of times. But this one actively going out of her way to do this felt different. Oh well, good experience I guess and yeah, more interactions will help.

@Slick

there is a reason why pickup is dead. It really doesn’t work. You should focus on creating a system where girls come to you first and stop wasting your energy on random make up artists who will feel entitled after you tell them they are hot.

Im talking about cold approach. Not all pickup. Why is cold approach good in 2020? Especially when you’re supposed to be social distancing. I haven’t seen examples of guys having success from cold approach in the past 6 months but if you have some please share.

In the last month of doing this I’ve dated six girls, five of them have been quite beautiful. Most were wearing masks when I approached them. I’ve had attractive girls from online but not that many in such a short amount of time. It works.

Having the mindset that he needed to do or say something different is counterproductive at best.

Having this mindset is the only way to improve. Not having this mindset is the equivalent to the “be yourself” bs that we’re told since childhood.

@D_Smooth1900, thanks dude. Interesting that you think having a side dude or BF might have caused it, I didn’t think about that.

@Velasco, SDL, hadn’t thought about that – didn’t even cross my mind because a SDL from DG still feels out of my reality. I've been focusing on just getting a DG lay first of all, lol.

 

[NewBeeWinner]

delivered the opener really strongly and genuinely

but you're interesting and I want to find out more

H: "That's all you're getting for now"
B: "Ohhh, mysterious girl huh".

Just my 2 cents, but going off what you said, it felt like you were making her to be the prize. This can be seen throughout your conversation (based on what you wrote in your post). Then, when she tested you saying "that's all you're getting for now", you qualified her by calling her "mysterious", reinforcing that she was the prize to be won and greater value.

Going direct works, but how are you talking about yourself during the conversation? Are you making yourself the prize? It doesn't sound like she was qualifying herself to you to get her bought into the conversation.

Make sure you're also increasing compliance and you are rewarding helpful/unhelpful behavior properly. Without compliance, she could just be caught up in the good feelings and attention you're freely giving her without requiring anything back from her. Remember: women are validated by the attention you give them.

Hope this helps,

NBW

 

[Whiteheart]

Listen, this happened to me few times. I would approach girl, we would have amazing conversation, then over text she would dodge dates, flake, ghost me or being very rude. Reason is that if girl seems interested in you that does not mean that she is really interested. There are 4 categories of girls. Girls who are intested, girls who see you as potential, girls who are distractions (uninterested but flirty, friendly, talkative or even act as interested) and girls who are fully uninterested. To me, the worst kind of girls that are distractions, are when you are her type, she is single, you are sexy and you had great time together. It is logical that you two end up together. BUT I would meet girl that is single, my type, she would find me sexy, we would have great connection but she would avoid dates. Or she would be later really bitchy over text.

If girl is attracted to you (or she acts as interested in you) that does not mean that she is interested in you. Attraction is not the same as interest. Maybe she is too picky and hopes that she will find someone even more attractive. In my case this girls were rude and avoided dates due to attainability problems. Although we were similar sa personalities I had greater social value than they and they could not stand that. If girl is rude that are attainability problems i.e. that is because you are better than she deserves.
Here are my advices if you again run into these kind of situations (worked for me):

If you had amazing conversation and she is resistant but not rude I would suggest you to read this:

Tactics Tuesdays: For Resistant Girls, Use This Parting Shot

Some girls like to be with you and have your attention, but won't let you escalate. If you reach the point where you're ready to bail on them, before you do, do this. I've talked about parting shots on Girls Chase before. A parting shot is anything you say to a girl before you ditch her, leave...

www.girlschase.com

.
Is she was rude and bitchy during text and you will not see her again I would sugest you to move on. Also tell her that you leave and you will delete her contact info because you only keep people that you communicate with.

 

[DonGately]

So last summer picked up a 26y blonde, cute face, nice body but nothing amazing, lawyer at a bar. Kiss at the venue, convinced her to go back to her place in town, she drove us back. Had to re-warm her up after we got there and she showed me around the large 3-bd apt, met a male roommate, etc. But it was no problem. Got her in the bed finally, she was very submissive - I fingered her to orgasm, she deep throated me on her knees, I spanked/chokedher hard, good sex, etc. Left at like 130am everyone had a good time.

Next day I send a text confirming she had a good time, she replied, I made some innocuous banter about her being a good submissive, she turned ice cold and replied something like 'you wish' cranky.emoji and I never heard from her again. 95% of the girls I pick up are submissives, she was clearly one, I know how to handle them. She just decided she was no longer interested even though she didn't have a boyfriend.

It happens, she was rude. I moved on to a younger and hotter fucktoy.

 

[foggy]

i have a theory that you were dealing with a crazy chick here.

how she acted, how she made you feel...the signs are there.

in that case, you dodged a bullet.

you did an excellent job of flirting with her. dont sweat the rejection, the issue lies within herself or her situation, not you.

 

[D_Smooth1900]

I agree this was a perfect play, you got the job done the shitty part is that you never know what’s going on in the inside of these girls heads. This happens far to often, girls can go from hot to cold in a milisecond nothing to do with you just the way they are. either way great job on the lay brush it off onto the next one your the prize here