Break Ups Got suddenly dumped by an one year LTR girl with depression

[Chase]

@HeartOfChaos,

I wrote above that a big factor here was that I am simply not meeting the right women in terms of ancestral background. I personally believe that if I was in either my country of origin X or my "second" country Y I would have found a girl to settle down with a long time ago.

Well, that's how it is then.

Anyway, if I wanted to marry a Slavic girl, I probably wouldn't move to Central Africa.

But if I did move to Central Africa, I like to think I'd be realistic with myself and ask myself, "Well, would I like to marry a Central African girl, or would I prefer to depart Central Africa?" rather than pulling my hair out looking for the one halfway decent Slavic girl who occasionally visits Central Africa then trying to turn her into my bride.

The current girl is one of the few who actually ticked some boxes that I'd be looking for long term, notwithstanding all her problems. Regarding her problems, I tried working with them... I would still work with them... I told her this and she knows... I wanted to give it a real go first, I was really going for it this summer on a personal level with her but she already started to detach...

You are compromising due to scarcity.

Presumably it is at least part due to your location.

The woman you choose to build a life with is one of the most important decisions of your life.

She is the woman who is going to have a bigger influence on you, your thoughts, dreams, ambitions, liberties, etc., than almost anyone else. She is also going to birth you children who are a lot like herself. e.g., if she is confident and ambitious, they will be confident and ambitious. If she is depressed, LSE, and on pills, well guess how your kids are likely to be.

If that is the best you can get due to skills, location, etc., then fine. But it is worth asking yourself if there is anything you can do to change any of those factors. "Location" seems like the obvious one.

Years ago stuff like depression were also a hard no for me, but my views on life have adapted.

Due to scarcity...

I wrote earlier that I want a girl to evolve with me and I was willing to try hard to achieve this with a chick I actually was connected to rather than searching for yet another one who may appear tomorrow or in 5 years, while I am not getting any younger.

Yeah, lots of guys do this in scarcity.

It is called "finding a project."

It is very risky.

Sometimes the girls don't evolve... sometimes they do but after they do, look around and say, "Wait, why am I with THIS guy? I can do a lot better than this guy NOW..." If you are expecting gratitude, that is not always (or even often) how it works..

I am of mixed ancestral background and I am aware this creates a dichotomy in my mind and long term plans. Further, the career path I was on also made things extremely difficult in terms of stability and income. This goes back to " I don't know what I'm doing with my life exactly right now", and not even right now, but for the last decade or so. Now things are better, but far from optimal, and right now is as best as it was in last 3 years...

Well then you are not in a position to be either a.) trying to logic your way into commitment with girls or b.) trying to take it slow with girls.

Ever seen a broke guy or a guy with a chaotic life trying to slow-court a girl? It is always a disaster.

If you're going to be the chaotic guy, you need to start acting like the chaotic guy.

The whole "date for 2 years, then propose; engagement for 2 years, then marry; married for 2 years, then child" does not really work when you are the dude living an unstable, unreliable life. That is the path for very stable husband-material men who want to take things slow and slowly prove to the girl that they are reliable while also carefully vetting her for her own reliability.

You are not in that position.

If you are at the point where you want a wife, then either you need to get a lot more stable than you are if you are trying to pursue the "take things slow and court her in a traditional slow manner" path, or else you need to start moving a lot FASTER.

There is a reason why unstable guys elope, knock chicks up, etc., etc.

And that is because if the unstable guy tries to go slow, she is going to get cold feet and bail.

Get stabler or move faster; you are going to have to pick your poison.

Chase

 

[HeartOfChaos]

She is the woman who is going to have a bigger influence on you, your thoughts, dreams, ambitions, liberties, etc., than almost anyone else. She is also going to birth you children who are a lot like herself. e.g., if she is confident and ambitious, they will be confident and ambitious. If she is depressed, LSE, and on pills, well guess how your kids are likely to be.

Of course. I am completely aware of this. And this is one reason why I was slowing down a bit with this current girl to get a better sense of her.

But things like confidence and ambition, LSE can be adapted during one's own life. They aren't hereditary traits.

Sometimes the girls don't evolve... sometimes they do but after they do, look around and say, "Wait, why am I with THIS guy? I can do a lot better than this guy NOW..." If you are expecting gratitude, that is not always (or even often) how it works..

I am not expecting any gratitude at all, I was really doing it selflessly. I want me and her to evolve together.

You are compromising due to scarcity.

Presumably it is at least part due to your location.

Location plays a big part for sure in terms of scarcity.

But if I did move to Central Africa, I like to think I'd be realistic with myself and ask myself, "Well, would I like to marry a Central African girl, or would I prefer to depart Central Africa?" rather than pulling my hair out looking for the one halfway decent Slavic girl who occasionally visits Central Africa then trying to turn her into my bride.

Pulling my hair out is sorta how I felt for years now for this reason.

But changing location radically just to meet a specific type of woman is a bit much, no?

If you are at the point where you want a wife, then either you need to get a lot more stable than you are if you are trying to pursue the "take things slow and court her in a traditional slow manner" path, or else you need to start moving a lot FASTER

You are probably right. I am trying to work towards stability, but it's not so easy. I think with this girl I ended up trying to do a bit of both - moving fast in some aspects while taking slow in others and ended up doing neither.

But stability can come as a product of meeting the right woman - as then the priorities in life can change forcing one to become more stable. To be honest, that's what's what I was looking towards with this chick...

P.S. I think that most women in the past who met me realised I am not husband material very quickly due to the way I behaved (going for sex super fast, moving around, unreliable income for years, not involving them in social plans) despite me appearing on paper as a good husband candidate (top education, high intelligence, high earning potential that wasn't realised...yet). I was happy not to be taken as a suitable husband candidate because I didn't really want to go down that route until last few years.

 

[Chase]

@HeartOfChaos,

But things like confidence and ambition, LSE can be adapted during one's own life. They aren't hereditary traits.

All three of these are significantly heritable.

Once an individual reaches adulthood, confidence (measured as 'self-sufficiency') is at about 40-60%, ambition (measured as 'need for achievement') is about 40-55%, and self-esteem is about 70-80% heritable.

Pulling my hair out is sorta how I felt for years now for this reason.

But changing location radically just to meet a specific type of woman is a bit much, no?

Staying somewhere that doesn't have the women I like for over a decade seems like it would be a personal kind of hell for me, but I suppose we're all different.

But stability can come as a product of meeting the right woman - as then the priorities in life can change forcing one to become more stable. To be honest, that's what's what I was looking towards with this chick...

If you're counting on a woman who is unstable herself to make you more stable, I am sorry to disappoint but that is generally not how it works. Not unless you are taking on the 'caretaker' role, nurse-maiding her back to mental health. Then I guess that might force you into some stability just to be able to build your life around her and provide. But you are not going to have the relationship you want in that case.

From your description of your relationship dynamic, you don't sound very suited to that role anyway.

You either need to get stable on your own, and bring a woman in... or find a super stable, rock-like woman to be a stabilizing influence on you... or else you need to content yourself being the unstable guy who is going to have girls going crazy around him due to the instability.

Chase

 

[HeartOfChaos]

@HeartOfChaos,
........

Is there a way to PM you to ask you something? I tried to "start a conversation" but it did not allow me to send the message.

 

[DoWhatWorks]

If I hear all he says, most stuff is so recent, it's fixable.

Blind leading the blind.

I honestly think the strongest PUA's would be able to game through oneitis and manage to turn the whole experience in his/their favor as a real seduction

Disagree a PUA would run a tight process where he avoids the issues OP is experiencing all together and doesn't need to "save" anything.

Prevention > Cure.

OP had some success with getting lays but is clearly lacking in the skillset to get and retain relationships. Which many guys don't want to hear, can only improve by getting more lays (and trying to get them into relationships).

Actually, LSE is one of the more treatable things overall I think. It's even likely to bind someone more strongly to you because of the LSE. That said, it's not necessarily the smartest thing, but it could be.

It's not but each to their own, if in your own words LSE "not necessarily the smartest thing", why would anyone risk that when you could just go for a girl with high self esteem which is undoubtedly a smart thing?

Honestly @mirror I think you're projecting your own struggles with finding compatible girls in long term relationships onto OP which makes you feel better but doesn't help his situation. Calling it out how I see it.

I am not talking to her at the moment, so no actions at all

Good - this is progress.

More like 10-11 years...

My best years were 2011-2015.

So 4 not 2-3 lays a year... Again tiny! Your "best years" were.... 10 years ago!! You've been cuddled for too long on this thread.

No one's calling out the root issue, the fact you got some results actually shows if you had potential to do good I.E 8+ lays a year... Doubling your lays would get you to meet good girls in half the time

Also in reply to your threads what you're basically saying is:

1. I'm not willing to change my work situation which is impacting my health and romantic options
2. Life has changed and I'm not willing to adapt to the new environment or move to a place with better options
3. I'm convincing myself that because I had good years 10 years ago, I should magically be able to get results now
4. I'd prefer to lower my standards instead of increase my effort figuring things out (depression was a no but views "changed")

Stop lying to yourself and get to work... Or don't but don't complain about results that you've orchestrated.

Again Atlas said it, but you've been given threads that would actually help you but you conveniently ignore because they involve real work.

Here's my (re)sharing what you need to hear: https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/how-to-never-stress-over-a-girl.31286/

If a skilled seducer you cannot be, then on skilled seducer you should not be

+1 you want it or you don't.

This isn't a community of babysitting inadequacy it should be a community of achieved (or aspiring) competence.

Is there a way to PM you to ask you something? I tried to "start a conversation" but it did not allow me to send the message

I'll speak for him, NO. Stop wasting his and everyone else's time.

 

[mirror]

I think it's led to some good discussions of relationship seduction, which is a different beast altogether from pickup. I include other discussions, ideas, posts, etc. here as well.

.

Hi Chase.

Just a question.
Is this forum only for pickup or for real longterm seduction like pickup but also other styles and methods? Seeing as the name is "skilled seducer" i assumed it was also for other ways of seduction and other goals than only getting to a lay.
I mean, just dropping someone and getting to the next is so straightforward and easy regarding sex, but so empty and useless if you have to entertain longterm relations or want to use or for other purposes.


And if only for pickup, do you have any suggestions for other forums that actually deal with multiple formats of seduction?
I remember enjoying nextasf because posters there actually went quite theoretical and stuff, and also seemed quite openminded, compared to other pua fora where it all came down to the same crying for simple sex and lays.

Just asking, but also interested in your answer on whether i need to search for another forum or place for more interesting and creative approaches to seduction.

 

[HeartOfChaos]

So 4 not 2-3 lays a year... Again tiny! Your "best years" were.... 10 years ago!! You've been cuddled for too long on this thread.

No one's calling out the root issue, the fact you got some results actually shows if you had potential to do good I.E 8+ lays a year... Doubling your lays would get you to meet good girls in half the time

Also in reply to your threads what you're basically saying is:

1. I'm not willing to change my work situation which is impacting my health and romantic options
2. Life has changed and I'm not willing to adapt to the new environment or move to a place with better options
3. I'm convincing myself that because I had good years 10 years ago, I should magically be able to get results now
4. I'd prefer to lower my standards instead of increase my effort figuring things out (depression was a no but views "changed")

It used to be much more than 4 lays when accounting for dating apps.

And 4 lays is pretty good if your life doesn’t revolve around hitting on girls all the time. Guys who work long
very demanding jobs (banking, finance, academia, law…) usuallly don’t have the time or energy on walking streets approaching women.

Not making excuses, but pointing out your perception is skewed.

True random cold approach will yield single digit returns. In certain countries and locations it’s easier, som others it’s harder, but random cold approach in daytime is the hardest way to get laid by far.

 

[HeartOfChaos]

It used to be much more than 4 lays when accounting for dating apps.

And 4 lays is pretty good if your life doesn’t revolve around hitting on girls all the time. Guys who work long
very demanding jobs (banking, finance, academia, law…) usuallly don’t have the time or energy on walking streets approaching women.

Not making excuses, but pointing out your perception is skewed.

True random cold approach will yield single digit returns. In certain countries and locations it’s easier, som others it’s harder, but random cold approach in daytime is the hardest way to get laid by far.

Typically from day approach you either get

1) girls who are super into you physically from get go
2) girls whose SMV is significantly lower than yours , e.g stereotypical Anglo sphere white guy picking up girls in Thailand or east Europe

 

[DoWhatWorks]

@HeartOfChaos it's clear you don't actually want help. In fact I don't really know what you want (and I doubt you do either) so making this my final reply to this thread for the benefit of lurkers.

cold approach in daytime is the hardest way to get laid

Context dependent, but this is the only thing that I somewhat agree with. Not necessarily because it's "hard" but because it requires the most consistent physical effort of talking to girls vs swiping for example.

And 4 lays is pretty good if your life doesn’t revolve around hitting on girls all the time

True random cold approach will yield single digit returns

Disagree I did 10+ in 2023 from DG alone in the very city you complain about (London) while working 2 jobs & building a business.

You have a skill / drive issue and aren't willing to listen to people who're telling you more is possible.

Typically from day approach you either get

1) girls who are super into you physically from get go
2) girls whose SMV is significantly lower than yours , e.g stereotypical Anglo sphere white guy picking up girls in Thailand or east Europe

This is YouTube video redpill regurgitation. If you actually got results you'd have different opinions.

Any competent daygame seducer will say it's actually one of the best for getting girls the same & higher "SMV"

I hope when you're settled, you have an open mind, reflect and commit to improving and getting results which you currently think are impossible. I assure you they are but will require drastic changes in how you think and act.

All the best

 

[HeartOfChaos]

@HeartOfChaos it's clear you don't actually want help. In fact I don't really know what you want (and I doubt you do either) so making this my final reply to this thread for the benefit of lurkers.



Context dependent, but this is the only thing that I somewhat agree with. Not necessarily because it's "hard" but because it requires the most consistent physical effort of talking to girls vs swiping for example.




Disagree I did 10+ in 2023 from DG alone in the very city you complain about (London) while working 2 jobs & building a business.

You have a skill / drive issue and aren't willing to listen to people who're telling you more is possible.



This is YouTube video redpill regurgitation. If you actually got results you'd have different opinions.

Any competent daygame seducer will say it's actually one of the best for getting girls the same & higher "SMV"

I hope when you're settled, you have an open mind, reflect and commit to improving and getting results which you currently think are impossible. I assure you they are but will require drastic changes in how you think and act.

All the best

I got all sorts of girls from day approach, including some girls with SMV arguably a lot higher than mine.
It doesn’t change the fact that it’s still a low yield random game. I realise more is possible, I’m not debating it.

I think perhaps I simply got jaded over the years, combined with my general dislike and apathy for London and UK life in general.

 

[HeartOfChaos]

I got all sorts of girls from day approach, including some girls with SMV arguably a lot higher than mine.
It doesn’t change the fact that it’s still a low yield random game. I realise more is possible, I’m not debating it.

I think perhaps I simply got jaded over the years, combined with my general dislike and apathy for London and UK life in general.

None of this is any YouTube video regurgitation.

I discovered cold approach in 2009 when abroad in my native country. I never read any pua forums then and didn’t even know about them. I just wanted to meet girls after recovering from a long 3 year illness. I almost instantly got results - dates, romantic flings, all that. Then in 2010 I returned to to London , did a bunch of approaches, gained experience through fucking up multiple lay opportunities and eventually got my first LTR a year later.

The fact is I did it all - indirect, direct, situational approaches, got instant makeouts, same day insta pulls to my place, all of this over thee years.

But my overall experience is that it’s hard, very hard, and got progressively harder over the years.

What became easier for me is arranging logistics and rapid escalation, reading her signs , rather than increasing my conversation rate.

 

[HeartOfChaos]

As per what I want, I already wrote. Have a serious long term partner with who I can share deep experiences with and leading to a family sometime down the line. Preferably a partner of my own nationality language and background, but I can work around that. Preferably to be in another location, not London, probably not UK even, but thats an open question as it depends on too many factors. . Not today or tomorrow but say in the next 7 years or so.

I was hoping this girl is someone who is suitable for me. Maybe she still is.

 

[gameboy]

Since it looks like this thread may to be closed (not sure I'm a big fan of that, but whatever), I wanted to put this out there before it's too late. Hopefully I'm not pouring oil into the dying fire... I don't think it's been said yet, at least not so bluntly as I'm going to say it. Already when I was reading the first pages of this thread when it started, I got the feeling that the OPs core problem is autism. He doesn't get the subtle signs. That's why his ex left.

Not because he didn't meet her friends or family or whatever she said. Girls rarely seem to be able to say directly what they want. They want their man to know what they want, without them having to say it. Most men can't do that, but there's one type of men which especially can't do it: Autists. They need to be told how they have to behave.

In my experience, being with an autist can be torture at times. I have one in my family. They can be very resourceful and helpful when you need them, and they are not bad people per se. Not at all, quite the contrary. When they realize you have an objective issue, they can be like angels, and help selflessly. But the problem is when they think that everything is alright. They will make these little snide comments that they think are funny, but that come across super hurtful to the other person. And because they can't read emotions language, they won't even realize that they are hurting the person. They'll just keep doing it over and over and hurt the person more and more. Hanging out with this person isn't fun, even though I love them to death... but it's easier from a distance.

I'm not sure if this can be generalized and if the OP is doing similar things. He said he has often been told that he doesn't understand people, including his own mother if I remember correctly. (So many autism threads recently, it's possible I'm confusing him with someone else). So there must be something he's doing that makes people say that.

We're seeing it right here in this thread too: OP gets tons of well meaning helpful advice, acknowledges none of it, seemingly ignores it all, and drones on and on with his ploy about how to get the ex back. Which is, again, typical autist behaviour. As a result, other forum members get pissed off. Understandably.

Big dilemma here: For OP, if he really is autistic or has these tendencies, it's probably not easy to find a girl that will stay with him long term. So he has to go for a LSE girl that has few other options. I hope this doesn't come across demeaning, it's just my read on the situation. I may be wrong.

Also, I suppose he won't listen to this advice either, but when you break up then make up again, the relationship isn't the same as before. It feels stained afterwards. I've taken exes back after trying to break up with them myself, cause I'm an emotional guy just like the OP. But obviously that's a different situation than when the woman wants out. In my experience, women rarely have the strength to follow through with that, unless and until they find a new partner. Which is why I posted she is probably fucking someone else already. But maybe she's just staying with her family and they are supporting her. I don't know her so I can't say.

(An anecdote: Once I had a female friend that told me how much she missed her ex. Even though she did the breaking up herself. So I said to her "But why are you so upset, weren't you the one who broke up with him?" Her woeful reply: "Yes, but I'm a woman...")

Anyway. Whenever I took an ex back that I had broken up with in spite of still loving her, that "post-breakup-then-makeup" part of the relationship always felt different. Like some kind of doom is hanging over it, and you're just not ready to face it yet. Until you finally break up for good. So, be careful what you wish for. Though I understand that OP wants the girl back and will probably not be deterred from that by anything anyone could write here.

Anyway that's my 2 cents. Hope stuff works out well for everybody. Hard to imagine how right now, but I'm sure it's going to work out somehow in the long term.

 

[HeartOfChaos]

I'm not sure if this can be generalized and if the OP is doing similar things. He said he has often been told that he doesn't understand people, including his own mother if I remember correctly. (So many autism threads recently, it's possible I'm confusing him with someone else). So there must be something he's doing that makes people say that.

I think I am simply in my head most of the time and tend to be quite selfish as well. My mother and others have referred to me not thinking about people's intentions and motives behind their words and actions, essentially not reading between the lines well or acting too slowly on them.

Given the fact that I have been home educated and essentially the first real regular contact had with peers when I was nearly 10 years old probably stunted my social development a bit. I also skipped a lot of school from age 10-18 (as I didn't like organised formal education and my mother let me just hang out at home and educate myself). In addition, I went to all boys school so my contact with girls was limited till I was 18. I met some girls socially, got make outs and all that but still, my exposure to female company was minimal. Let alone that English was my 2nd language after all...

Then, when I was 19 I fell chronically ill and have withdrawn from society till I was 22, when I started to recover and decided to go out and hit on women on my own (without any pua forums).



Believe me, I have seen many "autists" doing daygame in my city, it's very noticeable. I met up a few of those guys through forums years ago, but didn't hang out with them much - it was embarrassing watching their behaviour and weird approaches.

We're seeing it right here in this thread too: OP gets tons of well meaning helpful advice, acknowledges none of it, seemingly ignores it all, and drones on and on with his ploy about how to get the ex back. Which is, again, typical autist behaviour. As a result, other forum members get pissed off. Understandably..

How am I ignoring it or not acknowledging it? As I said I am very grateful for everyone's opinions. I am taking all of them onboard.

The reason for me "droning on and on" is because I need a place to vent for being an idiot. And I am also an obsessive stubborn guy once I get something into my head.

Big dilemma here: For OP, if he really is autistic or has these tendencies, it's probably not easy to find a girl that will stay with him long term. So he has to go for a LSE girl that has few other options. I hope this doesn't come across demeaning, it's just my read on the situation. I may be wrong.

I dated for long term (from several months to 3 years) several other confident / high esteem women previously.

Also, I know he won't listen to this advice either, but when you break up then make up again, the relationship isn't the same as before. It feels stained afterwards.

Bro! I totally agree. Back after the earlier May break up attempt, it felt a bit weird at first having sex with her for first time again.

But to be fair, this isn't the first time I had a break up and then made up again. I had 2 other LTRs break up with me (several times) and then come back and make up with me. They were totally right to break up though, as I cheated on them multiple times, and also did not progress the relationship properly (one even told me "this is not a relationship", "why do you never show any feelings blah blah" after being together for like one and half years)....still they came back to me a few days or a few weeks later again and again...

Another girl I dated for 3 months, then she texted me once "you don't seem very certain where you wanna take this with me...let's leave things as it is". I simply said "ok" and forgot about her. Then 3 months later she texted me randomly out of the blue asking if I wanna hook up. Today now is literally first time in years I thought of her.

It's just that I never really let them get to me, I was never that emotionally invested and was never that affected when they did the break up, so I almost immediately moved on with my life.


The current situation is different in that sense as the current girl really affected me and I actually wanted something serious.

Which is why I posted she is probably fucking someone else already. But maybe she's just staying with her family and they are supporting her. I don't know her so I can't say.

Just as back in May, she did the breaking up days before flying back to stay with her family for a month. I don't know where she is now, I assume she came back to London just a few days ago unless she extended her stay with family.

 

[HeartOfChaos]

For OP, if he really is autistic or has these tendencies

To be honest, I don't really understand what "tendencies" is supposed to mean. I had a look at various free online autism tests, they all seem to give autism points based on how introverted you are and if you prefer reading books to getting drunk at bar (I am mocking them a little, but that's the gist I got). Based on that criteria, quite a lot of educated intelligent people who are ok being on their own for long periods would be somewhere on autism spectrum.

By the way, I do like getting drunk at a bar, I just don't care to socialise with the hoi polloi who tend to congregate in those places. It's boring and I have nothing to talk to them about.

 

[gameboy]

How am I ignoring it or not acknowledging it? As I said I am very grateful for everyone's opinions. I am taking all of them onboard.

Well, yes, but only after people got angry and called you out for (seeming to) ignore almost everything.

The reason for me "droning on and on" is because I need a place to vent for being an idiot.

I understand and respect that. Which is why I said I'm not a fan of closing the thread. But I'll leave that decision to the admins.

"why do you never show any feelings blah blah"

it's another pointer...

I didn't mean to offend you with what I wrote. I've been thinking it since the start of the thread, but held back because I didn't want to be that blunt. Maybe it can help you in some way.

To be honest, I don't really understand what "tendencies" is supposed to mean. I had a look at various free online autism tests, they all seem to give autism points based on how introverted you are and if you prefer reading books to getting drunk at bar (I am mocking them a little, but that's the gist I got). Based on that criteria, quite a lot of educated intelligent people who are ok with their own company would be somewhere on autism spectrum.

So the test came out positive but you don't want to believe it. Fair enough, but maybe find a better way to diagnose yourself then. I.e. a professional.

 

[HeartOfChaos]

I got the feeling that the OPs core problem is autism. He doesn't get the subtle signs. That's why his ex left.

Does me not getting subtle signs actually mean some autism disorder, though? Or is it simply a consequence of everything I described above:

1) Me being chronically socially isolated during childhood and teenager years (and adult years too in fact)
2) Me always hoping internally to meet a woman of my own nationality and background (as I alluded to earlier), hence not taking other women too seriously
3) Just been absent minded and in my head

 

[HeartOfChaos]

So the test came out positive but you don't want to believe it. Fair enough, but maybe find a better way to diagnose yourself then. I.e. a professional.

I wrote early in the thread that it showed some "minor" signs on the spectrum rather than a full blown case.

I don't know. I have seen real "autists" and it's very noticeable, certainly not like me.

 

[gameboy]

Does me not getting subtle signs actually mean some autism disorder, though? Or is it simply a consequence of everything I described above:

1) Me being chronically socially isolated during childhood and teenager years (and adult years too in fact)
2) Me always hoping internally to meet a woman of my own nationality and background (as I alluded to earlier), hence not taking other women too seriously
3) Just been absent minded and in my head

I don't know, I'm not a professional in psychology. I would assume there's a connection though.

 

[HeartOfChaos]

Well, yes, but only after people got angry and called you out for (seeming to) ignore almost everything.

I intended to thank those people privately, in particular Chase and Skill via PM.

Just because I "seemed" to ignore doesn't mean I actually did. I just didn't feel the need to spell it out.

Perhaps the same problem as with the girl I am facing: people misunderstand me or accuse me of not doing things despite me actually intending to do them in my own subtle way.

I tried sending Chase a PM earlier but doesn't seem to work.