Handling The Do You Have A Wife? Shit Test

[TomInHo]

Been noticing a recurring pattern in my recent seductions and would love to get your insights

I've been having a lot of girls tell me things like

- Do you have a girlfriend?
- You're married aren't you
- There's no way you're single
- Do you have someone that thinks she's your girlfriend?
- I'm not trying to be your side chick

This is perplexing because I wonder how these girls know that I'm seeing other women.

I never mention it and if anything try to really tone down my game to make myself seem more attainable.

So my question is why is happening so often? And how can I pass these tests without lying or damaging attainability?

 

[Skills]

Been noticing a recurring pattern in my recent seductions and would love to get your insights

I've been having a lot of girls tell me things like

- Do you have a girlfriend?
- You're married aren't you
- There's no way you're single
- Do you have someone that thinks she's your girlfriend?
- I'm not trying to be your side chick

This is perplexing because I wonder how these girls know that I'm seeing other women.

I never mention it and if anything try to really tone down my game to make myself seem more attainable.

So my question is why is happening so often? And how can I pass these tests without lying or damaging attainability?

That means they like you, is not a shit test, means how come you are single. I get the same even use rings to provoke the question

 

[TomInHo]

That means they like you, is not a shit test, means how come you are single. I get the same even use rings to provoke the question

I know, but it makes me think they're putting me in the boyfriend category rather than a walking dildo

 

[sab]

Many interpretations. Women are more intuitive. If you meet them at a given time, in a particular location, your behavior around them. How you talk to them. They feel that deep down you are only - as you say - a walking dildo ant not interested in a relationship. Women at the end of the day women want a relationship at some point. They always mentioned husbands, boyfriends, fiancees to strangers. Men rarely talk about their wives to strangers. Also age plays a part. A 19-year old may not want something too serious but a girl around 27-year has an eye on her biological clock and can see her girlfriends are getting married and having kids. The worst for a girl is to be left on the shelves so to speak. I think it is a shit test to figure out where the relationship is headed.

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

Been noticing a recurring pattern in my recent seductions and would love to get your insights

I've been having a lot of girls tell me things like

- Do you have a girlfriend?
- You're married aren't you
- There's no way you're single
- Do you have someone that thinks she's your girlfriend?
- I'm not trying to be your side chick

This is perplexing because I wonder how these girls know that I'm seeing other women.

I never mention it and if anything try to really tone down my game to make myself seem more attainable.

So my question is why is happening so often? And how can I pass these tests without lying or damaging attainability?

Wow, this post is fascinating on a number of levels.

First of all, I agree with skills that these are not shit tests but indicators of interest and attempts to clarify. Means she likes you, and she's trying to genuinely figure out what's your deal? Give a genuine answer and you're on the winning track.

The second thing I find interesting here is... they seem to assume you are in a COMMITTED relationship, whereas you think they sense you are SEEING OTHER WOMEN. Do you see the discrepancy here?

Meaning, you are a guy who is dating casually, but you give off the VIBE of a guy who is dating seriously. I would try and figure out why that is... probably something in your communication style. Maybe it's this?

if anything try to really tone down my game to make myself seem more attainable.

The more "subtle but clear" you make your communication with these women, the better this will go. You're 100% on the right track here as they clearly like you to be saying this! Great news for you. Now all you gotta do is frame yourself as a guy who's into casual relationships not serious ones.

Check the blog for good material on how to do this competently, cause it can backfire if done wrong. Maybe someone who's been more active in the past 10 years can link some good posts. @Chase any suggestions?

-Karea.

P.S. I'm going to coin a new term here... SBC... subtle but clear... if guys just learned to tell women EXACTLY what they want in an SBC way all their relationship problems would go away.

 

[TomInHo]

The second thing I find interesting here is... they seem to assume you are in a COMMITTED relationship, whereas you think they sense you are SEEING OTHER WOMEN. Do you see the discrepancy here?

Meaning, you are a guy who is dating casually, but you give off the VIBE of a guy who is dating seriously. I would try and figure out why that is... probably something in your communication style.

The more clear you make your communication with these women, the better this will go. You're 100% on the right track here as they clearly like you to be saying this! Great news for you. Now all you gotta do is frame yourself as a guy who's into casual relationships not serious ones.

This makes sense, but I also get labeled as a Fuck Boy a decent amount too.

Statements like
- You do this all the time, don't you
- How many times this week have you been to this place?... date location
- When was the last time you had sex? Yesterday

It feels like women project what they want unto me.. or maybe I unconsciously alter my communication depending on the girl..

But the re-occuring theme is women often think I have other women around by being a raging playboy or an unfaithful BF... but maybe these accusations are unavoidable at this point.

Is this common when as you gain more experience in seduction?

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

This makes sense, but I also get labeled as a Fuck Boy a decent amount too.

Yup! They can't figure you out! Your communication is unclear. Work on being SBC!

Btw re-read my post I edited while you were posting

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

Clarification: you are giving off mixed signals.

Giving girls mixed signals is GOOD if you confuse the girls whether or not you're interested in them. Keeps them guessing.
Giving girls mixed signals is BAD if you confuse the girls whether or not you're interested in a serious relationship. Shuts them down.

The reason this shuts them down is because moving forward is now a risk for them... if they misinterpret your intentions they could end up with a boy-friend who thinks she's a slut, or with a one night stand who lies to her etc... she wants clarity.

 

[TomInHo]

Clarification: you are giving off mixed signals.

Giving girls mixed signals is GOOD if you confuse the girls whether or not you're interested in them. Keeps them guessing.
Giving girls mixed signals is BAD if you confuse the girls whether or not you're interested in a serious relationship. Shuts them down.

Thanks Karea! This makes so much sense

Girls often tell me..."I can't figure you out, you're very interesting"... a lot

Looks like I need to dive deeper into removing the serious relationship framing from my game

 

[Skills]

I know, but it makes me think they're putting me in the boyfriend category rather than a walking dildo

Nope, nothing to do with that,

Clarification: you are giving off mixed signals.

Giving girls mixed signals is GOOD if you confuse the girls whether or not you're interested in them. Keeps them guessing.
Giving girls mixed signals is BAD if you confuse the girls whether or not you're interested in a serious relationship. Shuts them down.

The reason this shuts them down is because moving forward is now a risk for them... if they misinterpret your intentions they could end up with a boy-friend who thinks she's a slut, or with a one night stand who lies to her etc... she wants clarity.

I personally don't mind and even prefer the mixed signals... in my opinion, what you want to do with particular girls like scare of the risk of getting hurt, is give them a BIT, of hope that they can convert you, they have slight chance of getting you to commit to them... That is why we always say don;t go 100% fuck boy, but 80% fuck boy and a 20% provider (% irrelevant just to make the point you want to give them a bit of rope/hope).... the delay tactics is what we all use...

"i don't mind relationships and commitment with the right person, but i don't want to settle, like most people settle blah blah, if after we get to know each other blah blah at the right time blah blah" to buy time to sex (post 3 fucks doesn't matter)...

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

Yeah, good distinction... I DO NOT rule out the possibility of a relationship. I keep it open and undefined and in fact I frame against defining it early on. For now: casual. In the future... let's not even talk about the future now. Let's not try to put a label on things. Let's hang out and let whatever happens, happen. I also frame against jealousy and possessiveness quite aggressively.

 

[Vision]

With these kinds of questions and statements, I've found that you want to avoid denying them straight out or they could end up becoming a running joke that the woman uses to fuck with you.

But if you accept it, amplify it (like you would a shit test) and then give a serious answer afterwards, I've found that it's better because it breaks the tension of the situation.

- Do you have a girlfriend?

Here's something I've said before that's always funny...

"Are you applying for the position? I require daily back massages..."

Or you could go into a deeper role play with it where you say even bigger, more ridiculous requirements like the "Are you rich? I need a girlfriend who..." roleplay.

- You're married aren't you

You're probably better off agreeing and amplifying here, treating it like a shit test...

"I actually have three wives. There's a lot of drama but..."

- There's no way you're single

This is similar to "Why are you still single?" and the best way I've found to reply to this is with something like...

"Oh, you like me that much already, huh? That's cool... I mean, I am pretty awesome, sexy, intelligent..."

Then when you come back to non-fun playful flirting conversation, you say that you're picky and then you can launch into a story about that.

- Do you have someone that thinks she's your girlfriend?

I've actually told women to say this to men before because it helps them try to figure out whether there's someone else in the picture.

I've never had a woman say this to me before but I think the easiest way to get around it would be something like...

"I hope not..." and then launch into a stalker story or something similar that's happened where a woman that you kissed or went on a couple dates with went crazy on you. Then say that you are pretty good at screening out women who are overly possessive.

- I'm not trying to be your side chick

I don't think I've ever had a girl say this to me before I slept with her. Maybe someone else has something good for this one.

 

[Chase]

Check the blog for good material on how to do this competently, cause it can backfire if done wrong. Maybe someone who's been more active in the past 10 years can link some good posts. @Chase any suggestions?

One on it here:

“Do You Have a Girlfriend?” Here’s How to Answer This

In "Girl Changes Her Mind Too Much? Try This," Maxz asks this: “Speaking of indecision, I had a question for you. I recently had two girls who I was trying to bed ask me if I had a Girlfriend? I told each girl "I was not exclusive to any one woman". One of the Girls who had agreed to come over...

www.girlschase.com

Posted only a month after the last Ricardus post went up, too

A few other remarks:

- You're married aren't you

IME this one happens when a girl feels like you're a big flirt who's also high value and she's giving you windows but it's stalled and she can't figure out why you aren't moving it forward.

- Do you have someone that thinks she's your girlfriend?

Probably the same thing. Loved @Vision's answer for it (lol @ "I hope not...").

- I'm not trying to be your side chick

Never had this one either. But I know how I'd answer it... "Oh. What are you trying to be?"

I never mention it and if anything try to really tone down my game to make myself seem more attainable.

So my question is why is happening so often? And how can I pass these tests without lying or damaging attainability?

My guess is you need to qualify these girls better and/or give them more opportunities to showcase their good sides.

Whatever you're doing, you're smoothly blasting them with high levels of value that does not seem tryhard, and instead just puts you out of their reach. That said, it's a quality problem to have...

Chase

 

[trashKENNUT]

When you talk about this type of value conflict for years,

including a phenomenon where she finds you as a boyfriend material but she has a boyfriend. Both men have same value and you can see the torn in her mental state. That's what happened to me.

Finally, people are getting around to it.

-________________-"

 

[POB]

- Do you have a girlfriend?

I have five, but used to have seven (one for each day of the week)
Thing is Friday found out she was a lesbian and run away with Tuesday...broke my heart
But the good news is that now I have 2 spots open!!!
Which day you prefer?

- You're married aren't you

Married with Jesus, can we say hallelujah sister!?

- There's no way you're single

There's no way YOU are single! (smack lips)

- Do you have someone that thinks she's your girlfriend?

Can't tell, I lost my psych powers during the last x-men battle with Magneto

- I'm not trying to be your side chick

And I am not trying to be your side dick....will you ask me out now?
Love when a woman takes charge!