Having Realistic Results

[D Nomad]

I've been reading about game off and on for years, but really only dabbled in it. I moved to Nashville last year, but never really went out, built a social circle, met any women, etc. For the new year, I told myself I was going to finally go all in on this game, and try to improve my dating life and circle social. Recently, I've been thinking, what are realistic expectations? In an ideal world, I'd find some friends to hang out and doing various activities with. I'd start meeting women, going on dates, and take it from there. But I will turn 36 years old this year, and I'd like to be dating girls in their early to mid 20s. I look at the friends I grew up with or went to school with, and many are married now, either with kids, or having them on the way. I wonder is it realistic for me to have girls in their 20s and a friend group that is still going out. Maybe I've missed that boat, and need to move on, no matter how I feel.

 

[Zoro]

I think you need to start shooting first and asking questions later. You said yourself you haven’t gone out or taken any action towards the things you want.

Realistic expectations for someone who doesn’t take action? A whole lotta nothin’.

But the world is a pussy filled oyster for those willing to put in the work. You define your limits of what’s possible for you.

 

[Zoro]

I want to give you a more fleshed out answer.

This is coming from a book I'm reading now, highly recommend it. "How to be an Imperfectionist". It's basically about how most people have faulty mental models about success.

Most people will ask questions like you did, and then measure themselves against the answer they get. "How good can I get?" And then what happens is a lack of motivation because at the outset of building your skills, you will be very far from that point.

The better way of looking at things is having a high expectation in general, but low expectations for specific things. So can you get good? Yeah. Will your next approach be James Bond level? Fuck no. (You can still get the girl with unsmooth interactions by the way).

Being a perfectionist (which most people are, even if they don't know it) creates a lot of resistance to action, because things have to be ideal to start or executed "perfectly" to be a success.

What if you lowered the bar to just taking action, no matter how small, and that would be a success? That is how an "Imperfectionist" thinks. Because it can be a shitty nervous approach, and that counts as a success. You will learn faster with action. You build momentum with action and take more action.

You should be asking, "What are the very next steps I should be taking?"

Go and say hi to girls you like. If you already can do that, start talking to them and inviting them out. If you're beyond that, start asking yourself where your sticking points are and apply the advice given here.

The newbie assignment is a great place to start because it does this.

Stop looking at the horizon and watching the hands tick away on the clock. Start looking at where you are, and how you can get moving in some way.

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

Pretty much every girl over 25 has dated a guy in his 40s. You're at peak SMV in your mid 30s. I wouldn't worry about age at all. I'm in my 40s and I'm confident I can still do early 20s girls.

 

[Just a Man]

Don't let age bother you. I'm in my 40s and I'm finding high-value women between 10 and 20 years younger who are completely unfazed by it.

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

Pretty much every girl over 25 has dated a guy in his 40s. You're at peak SMV in your mid 30s. I wouldn't worry about age at all. I'm in my 40s and I'm confident I can still do early 20s girls.

I'm going to elaborate a bit more on this point because as a 40s guy myself hopefully I can share some more useful thoughts. I remember when i was 37 I started to really worry about this. It took me a while to get over it, and by now I don't worry about it at all anymore.

Even a month ago I downloaded a few "older guy - younger girl" movies, like this one (which is fascinating and worth watching). But more recently I've come to the conclusion that I don't even need to come from that headspace or frame at all. Just game as normal until you're 50 (more on this below).

Here's the thing about age: A 30 year old guy is MORE attractive than a 25 year old guy. A 25 year old guy is MORE attractive than a 20 year old guy. A man isn't even really a man until age 30... before that guys are still kinda boyish, especially these days with where our society is at.

When I was 21, I picked up a really hot girl from night game. She was a few years older than me, and I managed to pull back to her place, but that's as far as I got. We made out but she stopped me there and said, and I quote: "you will be absolutely irresistible when you're 30."

I was like FUCK! No sex, never saw her again. She was right… my peak was age 29-31. And I think I can do even better now in my 40s, although that remains to be seen.

In my 20s, I used to think that I have until about age 30, and then it's going to start going downhill. When I was 30, a friend of mine was dating a girl that was 18, and he was worried about another guy she was seeing who was 35. I told him not to worry about it. That guy's old.

In retrospect I believe I was wrong about that. I would say a man's absolute peak is around age 35 or 36. That's the sweet spot where he still looks really young, but already has his life together. He has to fulfill 3 criteria:

1. In shape. This isn't a deal breaker, but it helps. I once asked a mid 20s girl "would you date a 45 year old?" And she was like "ewww. no!" Then I asked her "what if he was in great shape, real gym body?" She flipped like a pancake and said "Oh! YES!". But it was a really ENTHUSIASTIC yes.
2. Not balding. Balding looks extremely beta. Shaved head is fine. Hats and caps and berets are fine. Fuzzy remnants where your hair used to be, or the horse-shoe or the comb-over are a no-go. You can get a hair transplant, but avoid propecia... it will fuck up your hormones (I learned that the hard way).
3. Put together. You should have made something of yourself by this point. You should be successful in your field, have supreme confidence in all situations, and have a look/style to go with it.

In other words, yes I'm saying a 35 year old man is MORE attractive than a 30 year old man, IF he has his shit together. By "shit together" I do NOT mean money (click). I mean the three points above.

My game mentor married a really pretty 21 year old when he was 42. The last 3 girls I dated when I was late 30s, were all between 21 and 23. Granted that was in Asia, but I didn't pay them shit... they all had middle class jobs, one had her degree from the top level Elite University in her country.

One of these girls told me after a few dates that she usually doesn't date guys over 35. But we know that emotion overrides logic. On our first date, it was obvious she specifically avoided asking my age, EVEN when the conversation skirted around related topics. I could tell she didn't want to get into it... cause she liked me already.

A man has essentially the same face until he gets to be over 50, unless he gets a lot of wrinkles (get sun every day but avoid overdoing it). We think we look older but we kinda really don't.

The one caveat I would give is being 50+. At that point, the game does seem to get a little harder, I see this in a friend of mine who has been game obsessed all his life but just crossed the big five-oh. He always had complete abundance... he still does, but he has to work harder for it now.

I've seen a study where girls were shown pictures of men of varying ages, and with every picture they had to answer the question: "does this man look old? yes/no". On average, all men below 50 were rated "does not look old", and around the age of 50 it started to shift towards "yes".

That said, I think it's still doable at that point. The only thing that's worse over 50 really are your looks, so you will have to put an even greater focus on personality conveying game, but there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to get women in their 30s for a long time to come, and maybe even a few late 20s chicks.

A bit rambling here but I hope this was useful to some who worry about age like I did for a while... not worried one bit now.

-Karea.

 

[Skjöldr]

Pretty much every girl over 25 has dated a guy in his 40s. You're at peak SMV in your mid 30s. I wouldn't worry about age at all. I'm in my 40s and I'm confident I can still do early 20s girls.

This is from what i heard a girl say (the friend of a girl i banged in my car in summer 2021):

Her: We are going to this other venue
Me: Why?
Her: There is a guy over there who wants me
Me: What do you like about him?
Her: *just looks at me* "Uh, he's old?" (like in a "Duh" kind of way)
Me: Haha alright then

It was pretty funny. The girl i fucked was 19 so this girl was probably the same. Girls definitely like older guys generally. Talk to alot of girls and you will see that they have all mingled with guys older and some way older than themselves. Like my ex girlfriend who was 16 and with a guy in his mid 20s or a girl i went on a date with who were 15 when she had a 24-25 year old boyfriend. Some people will be shocked at this but it isn't really that weird to me. Girls are at their peak attractiveness in their mid to late teens and men in their 30s. That's just how it is.

 

[truthasker]

I'm going to elaborate a bit more on this point because as a 40s guy myself hopefully I can share some more useful thoughts. I remember when i was 37 I started to really worry about this. It took me a while to get over it, and by now I don't worry about it at all anymore.

Even a month ago I downloaded a few "older guy - younger girl" movies, like this one (which is fascinating and worth watching). But more recently I've come to the conclusion that I don't even need to come from that headspace or frame at all. Just game as normal until you're 50 (more on this below).

Here's the thing about age: A 30 year old guy is MORE attractive than a 25 year old guy. A 25 year old guy is MORE attractive than a 20 year old guy. A man isn't even really a man until age 30... before that guys are still kinda boyish, especially these days with where our society is at.

When I was 21, I picked up a really hot girl from night game. She was a few years older than me, and I managed to pull back to her place, but that's as far as I got. We made out but she stopped me there and said, and I quote: "you will be absolutely irresistible when you're 30."

I was like FUCK! No sex, never saw her again. She was right… my peak was age 29-31. And I think I can do even better now in my 40s, although that remains to be seen.

In my 20s, I used to think that I have until about age 30, and then it's going to start going downhill. When I was 30, a friend of mine was dating a girl that was 18, and he was worried about another guy she was seeing who was 35. I told him not to worry about it. That guy's old.

In retrospect I believe I was wrong about that. I would say a man's absolute peak is around age 35 or 36. That's the sweet spot where he still looks really young, but already has his life together. He has to fulfill 3 criteria:

1. In shape. This isn't a deal breaker, but it helps. I once asked a mid 20s girl "would you date a 45 year old?" And she was like "ewww. no!" Then I asked her "what if he was in great shape, real gym body?" She flipped like a pancake and said "Oh! YES!". But it was a really ENTHUSIASTIC yes.
2. Not balding. Balding looks extremely beta. Shaved head is fine. Hats and caps and berets are fine. Fuzzy remnants where your hair used to be, or the horse-shoe or the comb-over are a no-go. You can get a hair transplant, but avoid propecia... it will fuck up your hormones (I learned that the hard way).
3. Put together. You should have made something of yourself by this point. You should be successful in your field, have supreme confidence in all situations, and have a look/style to go with it.

In other words, yes I'm saying a 35 year old man is MORE attractive than a 30 year old man, IF he has his shit together. By "shit together" I do NOT mean money (click). I mean the three points above.

My game mentor married a really pretty 21 year old when he was 42. The last 3 girls I dated when I was late 30s, were all between 21 and 23. Granted that was in Asia, but I didn't pay them shit... they all had middle class jobs, one had her degree from the top level Elite University in her country.

One of these girls told me after a few dates that she usually doesn't date guys over 35. But we know that emotion overrides logic. On our first date, it was obvious she specifically avoided asking my age, EVEN when the conversation skirted around related topics. I could tell she didn't want to get into it... cause she liked me already.

A man has essentially the same face until he gets to be over 50, unless he gets a lot of wrinkles (get sun every day but avoid overdoing it). We think we look older but we kinda really don't.

The one caveat I would give is being 50+. At that point, the game does seem to get a little harder, I see this in a friend of mine who has been game obsessed all his life but just crossed the big five-oh. He always had complete abundance... he still does, but he has to work harder for it now.

I've seen a study where girls were shown pictures of men of varying ages, and with every picture they had to answer the question: "does this man look old? yes/no". On average, all men below 50 were rated "does not look old", and around the age of 50 it started to shift towards "yes".

That said, I think it's still doable at that point. The only thing that's worse over 50 really are your looks, so you will have to put an even greater focus on personality conveying game, but there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to get women in their 30s for a long time to come, and maybe even a few late 20s chicks.

A bit rambling here but I hope this was useful to some who worry about age like I did for a while... not worried one bit now.

-Karea.

Hey so game really does have a ceiling I suppose. I read so many places where people act as if leveling up your game, you will consistently get better and better looking women but, it seems game alone isn't enough to keep you getting better and better looking women.

Is there anything one can do to make it so that you can still live bachelor lifestyle as you get older??

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

Hey so game really does have a ceiling I suppose. I read so many places where people act as if leveling up your game, you will consistently get better and better looking women but, it seems game alone isn't enough to keep you getting better and better looking women.

Is there anything one can do to make it so that you can still live bachelor lifestyle as you get older??

Not from what I've seen. From a certain age onwards, it seems to be about money for the girls. Maybe there are exceptions to this rule, such as really famous guys, but for 99% of guys I would say: You do have to find the right one before it's too late, there is such a thing.

I have a friend who's almost 70 and he still gets decent women in their 20s, but he's rationalizing that it's not for money, because "he just pays her babysitter and her taxi" and so forth.

Even Hugh Hefner paid these women from what I heard... and I would be very surprised if that wasn't true.

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

. I read so many places where people act as if leveling up your game, you will consistently get better and better looking women but, it seems game alone isn't enough to keep you getting better and better looking women.

I've literally never read that in my life.

No disrespect, but that sounds like something you made up.