(Firstly, re. my prior post, I should mention for completeness that there are other factors, even science-backed, to attraction beyond
just male promiscuity, but I tend to emphasize that one because it's pretty powerful and it's the most counter-intuitive one for most guys. But that's kind of besides the point of your concerns.)
I can appreciate your lamenting this seeming like a competition, but that's the reality of it,
it is. You have to accept that.
I've been both lucky and unlucky. I'm old enough to be a grandfather and don't even have children yet, only had sex small handful of times, in no small part because I allowed myself to be brainwashed by society's bullshit for many many years, I was stuck in one oneitis after another, some very long, was almost delusional for a while, got really negative and destitute for a while re. females, started to learn some things but then even after struggled with extremely bad approach inhibition for seven years. But I did have some experiences that directed me to understanding some things about females most men
never understand which I know are going to help me overcome all this. So likely I'll still breed in the end but there were multiple points where if I had've been any less intelligent or the wind hadn't have happened to blow a certain way, I would probably have died a virgin, Phoenix genes go extinct.
You could argue it's "unfair" but it's just nature. I only am glad I started figuring things out before too late, plus I took fairly good care of myself plus have decent enough genes, I can get chicks way younger to look at me (first lay from day game, I spent nothing on her, chick almost half my age, and she was not fat or unattractive).
I have occasionally heard guys with your same argument, "girls should make it easier on me." But
why the fuck would they?? It's not good for their genes. Picture it like this. Take the most ugly, teeth missing, deformed face, land whale of a woman you can imagine. Maybe no guy wants to fuck her. Now I come along and tell you, you have to fuck her and spend 18 years raising a kid with her, with her deformed genes mixed with yours, because she needs luvin' too, and she doesn't deserve her genes to die off.
You're not going to go for that! Why would a woman be any different?
(I'm not saying you're a deformed land whale, but when you don't know how to seduce a girl, you're basically the equivalent for her. But you can change that, by learning.)
As for feeling unworthy, you seem partly to feel unworthy based on this:
...because acting like I am but not being good enough can get me rejected and ridiculed quite quickly.
You actually are capable of being a great thing to a woman, but not in your present state. That's something you have to learn, but the thing is,
how do you learn it if you feel too guilty to try?
In order to learn any skill, you have to be willing to totally fuck things up as many times as it takes to figure out how to do it right.
Based on your other thread I think you really need to focus more on cold approach as opposed to social circle, because you seem hung up over this
rejection and ridicule, but if you're approaching
random women there is literally
no consequence to her rejection or ridicule beyond that moment. You just brush your shoulder and try again, trying to do better each time. But with social circle your sexual failures have persistent consequences and this may be amplifying your insecurities.
Not to mention, it's comparatively really hard to learn by social circle because
you don't have a clean slate to experiment with. Trying a different style game on those same girls isn't going to tell you anything because they already remember what you did before so the effect isn't going to be the same as it would have been had you gone with that style or approach or tactic from the beginning.
And, re-read the last post I wrote in that thread, especially if you're having trouble being brave, because your self-talk and assumptions and expectations have a huge impact on outcomes.
Don't worry about disappointing or putting off random women in the learning process. It's a fact of life people are going to have interactions with inept people. I've been hit on by extremely awkward gay men who didn't have the intuition to realize I wasn't gay. I don't really care, it was no skin off my back. Girls likely deal with lots of this. As you learn more, they will enjoy your company more. But you have to start somewhere.
It's ok to have a degree of selfishness, it's part of life. Organisms that don't prioritize their own needs die off. It doesn't mean you're doing something negative to the female. They do actually enjoy males who are somewhat aggressive with them, on some instinctive level they actually want that. Obviously respect her boundaries and do your best to be something she enjoys. You'll get better with practice and learning.
Just by your hang-ups I'm gonna guess you were raised in the Western world. It's getting more dysfunctional and pussified by the day. We used to have a playground saying to rebuke verbal insults, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me." I saw a while back a bus poster saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will make me kill myself."
Absolutely pathetic. Try your best to get stupid bullshit like that out of your head.
