Still having trouble. Still getting mad. After every day game session these past 2 days I've felt like it'd be more fun to throw myself into a brick wall from a moving car. During the session I'm actually feeling good and a little excited. After the session my legs hurt, I'm having trouble walking and I don't feel positive... let's say that lol
Here's my overall process/blueprint so if anyone has any ideas about where tweaks could be made I'm all ears (or rather... eyes I guess lol):
Approach
1) Fix state and relax my face. Go in with a calm, yet overall positive demeanor. Make sure to relax my face to where I'm wearing a little smirk as I walk around and with my eyebrows slightly up and engaged but relaxed
2) Double check my walk
3) See girl, walk up to her and as I get close call out "on your left" so I don't scare people. A lot of people have headphones so I'll walk slightly in front and look over with a little wave and a smile. Although some people look over and I'm like "I say that so I don't accidentally scare you as I walk past you. But honestly, by the way *opener*"
4) Excuse me *pause* I was walking *physically look to where I was to give her a chance to check me out* and when I saw you *pause* (today I've noticed that this pause needs to be done better, I don't pause much the second time) whatever I like about her
--> sometimes say I'd like to flirt with you, sometimes say I wanted to meet you. Depends on whatever I feel like saying honestly
--> also, if they jump a bit then I hold up my hands so they can see my palms, make sure to smile even harder and say whoops, didn't mean to scare you, but I saw you.... and deliver rest of opener
Reactions at this point:
Honestly most women are super happy that I approached them, even if they're not interested. A few are kinda meh but nobody's been upset in anyway
A few indirect approaches I've taken a liking to going in like this:
Whatever indirect subject pops into my head that's related to the environment. Then after they respond I'll ask how they're doing and when they politely ask me I'll say "well I'll be honest, I'd be a lot better if I knew your name" with a cheeky little smile. If that hits then cool, just keep going along the conversation as normal. If I feel like it didn't hit for some reason then I'll say "honestly, I just wanted to flirt with you, I'm blank"
After Approach -- Body Language
1) I make sure to stop walking so that they stop walking with me --> I noticed I had this mistake a lot in the past
2) As I'm introducing myself I watch how open her body language is. Most of the time it's around 70% open, which I try to mimic
3) Once she gets full open (so fully facing me) that's when I step out of the polite zone and into the intimate zone, or at least closer judging to see if she backs up at all. I do this while I'm talking to her and I like to make a big gesture and move as I'm adjusting myself because of the gesture. Or I'll even rock a bit and just kinda step into her then as well --> seems to go well
4) While not at the same time as stepping into her, this is also the point where I'll touch her arm. I'll do this as she laughs at something
--> though I'm thinking of just getting rid of touch altogether until I go for the number/date
5) Once fully open, that's when I'll start winding down the approach and go into my routine of asking for the number/date request.
After Approach -- Conversation
1) I'll ask what kinds of mischief/trouble/plans she has for the day
--> it's about a 40/60 split if she gives me something to riff off of. If she does then I continue the conversation from whatever she mentioned
2) If she doesn't give me something then I'll ask about what she likes to do
--> when she turns the conversation back to me, this allows me to talk about my creative pursuits
-----> I talk about whatever pops into my head that I enjoy and try to tailor 2/3 things to what I think she'll enjoy hearing more and 1/3 things that's a bit different. Sports, exploring/hiking/nature or writing poetry, dancing, traveling and etc. If I feel like it I'll make the joke that I'm a bit of a hobby junkie if I think it'll land better. If I think she'll take it well when she asks me what I do, then I'll make the "women mostly but twenty bucks is twenty bucks" joke that I enjoy. Then be like "yeah so anyways I enjoy blank blank blank"
3) During this time I'm also trying to play the reminds me of game that I got from Charisma on Command (you take something someone says and just say that reminds me of... whatever). I will especially do this when I get to talking about whatever she's passionate about and relate to it in some way
4) I'll also try and find anything to qualify her on that I genuinely like about whatever she's working towards
Overall, I try to keep my approaches around 5-10 minutes. Once it gets to the point where I think she's hooked I'll start winding it down
Winding Down Part
Sometimes I have to skip to this part if she's not giving me anything. Although from now on I'm thinking of just straight dropping them if I sense high walls without any warmth after a few minutes instead of even bothering to go for it. I'm never pleasantly surprised so fuck it
1) I love asking her what I should know about her. I'll usually preface it with something like, well before I let ya go what should I know about you? Something like that
2) I'll ask what they want to know about me and like... 80% of the time they'll ask what they should know about me, or what do I want to tell them. But sometimes I'll get a really cool question (like today a tall nerd with huge tits asked me what fantasy world I'd live in. Kind of a cool, if niche question)
--> here I take the opportunity to talk about how I'm passionate about psychology and that's what I'm trying to base the business that I'm building on *just a bait to see if they ask more about it, most do*. Then I can talk more about what it is and inject more of my own passion into the conversation
3) Then I'll say something like it was cool meeting them and ask if they like tea or if they like coffee more
--> whatever they say doesn't matter as long as it's not a nothing. Then I'll ask if they've ever been to blank before
Yes or no again it doesn't matter:
Yes --> then you already know how amazing they are!
No --> then you don't know how amazing they are!
4) We should grab a *whatever she said* some time soon. What's your schedule like
--> just kinda play off that
*hand her my phone* --> if I think she'll take it well I'll even make a fun sexual joke of "stick it in for me". Rarely will I do this though, depends on the girl
During The Approach
I'm trying to add in teases whenever possible, but it feels weird to add into the blueprint *okay tease here* lol. But I'm just looking out for opportunities
As noted above, I'm constantly watching her body and in particular how open she is to me as well as if she leans away or in as well.
Somehow girls always wanna know how long I've lived in KC or they ask where I live which leads to me saying how I moved last year (honestly not sure why, but like damn near every single girl asks me some version of this question). So it makes it easy to bring up Nashville and how I used to live there as well as how beautiful it is. Bridge that into eventually seeing if she wants to see some of my pictures on my phone that I took and how much I love waterfalls.
--> also makes it easy to see her motivations/travel aspirations herself. When the topic comes up I'll ask "You can go anywhere in the world you want to, what makes this place the place you need to be?" --> easy to get into travel from here as well
--> also pro tip that I learned the hard way one day long ago: ALWAYS hit the do not disturb button on your phone before handing the girl your phone. Honestly, before handing anyone your phone in my opinion, but definitely with women
Girls also like to ask "what do you do" and I always, always misinterpret it nowadays to "I love doing all kinds of things, a few examples are *blank and blank that I think she'll connect* as well as *blank that shows I'm my own person*". Very rarely will she ask later on what I do for work, which I find kinda odd, but whatever, answering the question that I want to answer instead works in my favor so fuck it
I used to deep-dive a lot during the approach because I genuinely enjoy it. But I've since scaled it waaaaay back. Now I'll ask a single deep-dive question as well as follow up on that one subject for like a minute or two. But it was advised that I don't go too hard on this. So I've scaled back a lot, think it helps a little. Every once in a while I'll ask 2 different deep-dive questions during the approach. But I definitely limit myself to 2 now at most
Texting
Anywhere from an hour to 2 hours later unless plans for later in the day were made in which case I text back immediately. I include my name and I try to include something that we talked about earlier in our conversation (I'll make a note on their contact in my phone so I don't forget). If she doesn't answer back then I'm getting to the point where I'll just delete them and move on now. Used to I'd wait 2-3 days and send a meme or something as a follow up but now I just move on
From here it's a bit of a crapshoot and depends on how long until the date. For one girl who I have a date scheduled with next Thursday (met on... Monday or Tuesday? Can't remember) I texted two days later, just asking her how she felt about random but hilarious short video clips. She was game so I sent her one I thought she'd like. Then I texted again tonight, a day later a beautiful picture of the park at night that I thought was super cool
--> will probably wait until Sunday or even Monday to text again. Just trying to vary it up while still pinging her every once in a while to say that hey, I'm still interested, I'm just not trying to get into a conversation is all. I've done the same strategies with online dating and for the same reason. From talking to other people this seems to be optimal as well, but I'm open to suggestions
If the date is 3 days away then I'll text after two days
If the date is 2 days away then I'll text once the day before
The day of the date I'll text around 11 am or so what color shirt I'll be wearing later. If they don't text back eventually then I don't show up
My texting process has gotten easier since I've included an easy to respond to something in my icebreaker to keep a lighter flow of the conversation going. This allows a smoother, more natural text the next day kinda thing since I can just wait until the next day to send a response, depending on how late it is
It's also a tell on how interested they are, at least, that was the idea behind it. I definitely get more replies which helps my morale, but as far as dates go I am not sure at all if it helps or not, to be honest
Things I'm Trying to Add In
In another thread Chase mentioned cold reads. I'm going to try and throw these into the mix. I tried earlier today with a girl who was absolutely stonewalling me to the point that I was like "there's no way she's interested" and even I was like it's cool if you want to leave. So needless to say that cold read was a bit jumbled up and I don't wanna get into that failure. I was going to stumble over that one no matter what anyways -- even gave her like 3 opportunities to just straight up leave but she didn't take any of them. She just kept smiling and even followed me as I went to a bench a little ways away (she wouldn't take either of my offers to sit with me though...) So friggin weird
Compliance --> I've gotten better at looking out for chances for compliance like come sit with me on this bench, or come over here and let's check this thing out that's pretty. Or even hey move over so these people can go past us. Etc.
--> I've been approaching mostly in a park so it's pretty easy to move a little bit. But could probably use a little more work
Lobo mentioned adding in more pauses to the getting her contact info par that I'll do. I didn't have a chance to do this today because there wasn't ANYONE that was interested. Except a chick with a boyfriend that just wanted to talk, talk and talk. But then my spidey sense went off about why she wanted to move in two weeks and... it's because of a boyfriend. I don't even understand how I knew this but before this moment I honestly thought she was into me. Went for the number anyways and I don't think I'll ever hear back
--> she was happy to fucking talk though. Even though it was a direct approach and the boyfriend part didn't come up until I asked about it like... 8 minutes into the conversation? Honestly irritated the shit out of me, which is fine since it was my last approach of the day
Trying to include more open loops into the conversation. Although since I honestly don't have any real experience doing this on purpose, it's kind of on the backburner to keep working away on other stuff until they're habits first.
After writing all this out, I may be talking a little too fast during the initial opener. I'll try to experiment with slowing down more
But yeah... I'm asking for your guys' help again. Because after a daygame session (probably like 5-7 hours a day for a week straight) I feel like I'd have better luck throwing myself off a building than trying again. I seriously fucking hate day game but it's my only real option right now so I don't have a choice. It's this or nothing, so... I'll probably be back at it again tomorrow and hating my life tomorrow night lmao
Please help. I'm driving myself fucking crazy
Also;
@ulrich I think this should answer a question you had from months ago before I had to take a break about an approach that you could critique. Hope this helps with that and hope the offer's still on the table