LR  HBRockerChick

Franco

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Re: STICKIED - LR: HBRockerChick

strat,

does getting better with girls mean we lose the enthusiasm & get emotionally dead towards them? because this is what i started to feel.

I think until you start to experience success (and understand the process well of what it takes to get women to bed) it can help to somewhat suppress some normal emotions you have when you feel attraction to a girl. The reason for this being that you can tend to be lead "astray" from the sexy, fundamentally-sound person you're trying very hard to become and end up getting too "excited" during a conversation. It pretty much happens to every guy when he first starts out getting dates with girls: he finds one that he really connects with, begins to get emotionally involved in the conversation, and in the meantime, he suddenly hasn't realized that he gave up his sexy vibe and started focusing on making the girl "like" him rather than want to sleep with him. A lot of these encounters end up in boyfriend-zone territory.

Now, that's not to say you shouldn't be engaging in story-telling and providing feedback to what she has to say -- you don't want to be a robot -- but you need to suppress any emotions of great excitement or great depressions/cynicism. These are usually emotions that never go over well with a girl that you are trying to take as your lover.

I have another post here where I explain to a member how letting your emotions take over in a conversation can kill your vibe.

Once you start taking women to bed however, you'll be able to better calibrate which emotions are the ones to display at the correct times. The higher your empathy, the easier this will be. The lower your empathy, the longer it will take to calibrate this.

- Franco
 

stratvm

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Re: STICKIED - LR: HBRockerChick

yes thanks Franco, totally right, any enthusiasm (even saying something enthusiastic as a clear joke) is suicidal.
 

lux7

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Franco said:
So what's most important here is having a process that is effective and efficient at combatting this, and it's what I've helped NJ "narrow" down (no pun intended) to maximize his returns from texting. You basically give a girl just enough that she'll bite, and if she starts to play too hard to get, then you have to let her know (subtley) that you don't really play these games and that you have other things more important in your life going on, like possibly other beautiful women!

Franco, do you happen to remember where that convo is located, if it takes place here?

Texting is being such a bi*** for me and quite a few other people I see...
 

lux7

Cro-Magnon Man
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NarrowJ said:
Me: Hey there, HBRockerChick :p We should grab those drinks we talked about soon. What’s your schedule like this week? (I go straight for the date since I built comfort during the instadate)
NJ


Hmmm, doesn't this website suggest not to use text for comfort and go straight for the date anyway?

What would you have texted if you hadn't had the time to have a instant date with her?
 

Franco

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luc,

Franco, do you happen to remember where that convo is located, if it takes place here?

This wasn't a one-time conversation. It just took place over time with NJ as he asked for advice on several different occasions for texting. Check NarrowJ's "Best Of" stickied posts at the top of each board and scan through them. I've probably given him advice in some of those. =)

- Franco
 

lux7

Cro-Magnon Man
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Franco said:
luc,

Franco, do you happen to remember where that convo is located, if it takes place here?

This wasn't a one-time conversation. It just took place over time with NJ as he asked for advice on several different occasions for texting. Check NarrowJ's "Best Of" stickied posts at the top of each board and scan through them. I've probably given him advice in some of those. =)

- Franco

That's what I was afraid of :D.

But still good pointer, thanks!
 

NarrowJ

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lucifer7 said:
Hmmm, doesn't this website suggest not to use text for comfort and go straight for the date anyway?

What would you have texted if you hadn't had the time to have a instant date with her?

This is just failed semantics on my part, I think. What I should have said was that I already had built enough rapport, but I instead used the word comfort for some reason. If you have a two-minute conversation with a girl and get her number, then there's no rapport. In that case, it's best to exchange a few texts to warm her up before you solidify plans. See some examples here: How to Text a Girl.

Conversely, if you sat and talked for a bit and she seemed plenty excited about things anyway, then you probably don't need this and it will seem like you're just beating around the bush like all the other average guys do without getting to the good part (scheduling a date).

Hope that clears things up!
NJ
 
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