How do you know when you've qualified her enough?

Sensation

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Apr 24, 2020
Messages
12
Location
Vancouver
I'm better at qualifying girls now than I used to. But still in the beginning, I am so into the vibe I have with her, that I sometimes neglect her other aspects. Initially, I don't care if she can cook, or if she is super cool. Don't get me wrong, in the long run I care about all the normal things, but in the beginning I'm running on feel. There have been girls that I liked as a person, but I think they got the impression that I only wanted to fuck them. So, how can one tell that the girl feels qualified enough? Are there some easy benchmarks one can look out for?
 

DoWhatWorks

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Nov 7, 2019
Messages
254
Bro reading confused me but I’ll try answer anyway.

There have been girls that I liked as a person, but I think they got the impression that I only wanted to fuck them

Add subtle validation points to your interactions.

e.g. “You hungry? Let’s order/cook food”, good conversation before diving into sex, listen to her/deep-dive, cuddle after sex

Obviously don’t go overboard depending on how casual you want to keep it. Also make sure it’s in a chill casual way.

So, how can one tell that the girl feels qualified enough?

She’ll keep seeing and sleeping with you without any: “what are we” or “where’s this going” conversations

Are there some easy benchmarks one can look out for?

How comfortable she is with investing in you. If a girl doesn’t feel qualified she’ll fall into auto-rejection.

if she’s happily: texting 1st, doing things for you like cooking, buying you gifts, mending clothes, ironing shirts, organising concerts


- then you’re in a good place.

^^^ all of these a real examples btw


Don't get me wrong, in the long run I care about all the normal things, but in the beginning I'm running on feel

I get the impression you’re the more romantic wishy washy feelings type. Which is fine :) but just know you may come across vague which is why girls may be wondering where they stand with you.

Initially, I don't care if she can cook, or if she is super cool. Don't get me wrong, in the long run I care about all the normal things,

so like most men, for long term situations your standards go up. Girls might be sensing they’ve got a “ceiling” with you. My first points will help with addressing that

All the best man x
 

Sensation

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Apr 24, 2020
Messages
12
Location
Vancouver
Add subtle validation points to your interactions.

e.g. “You hungry? Let’s order/cook food”, good conversation before diving into sex, listen to her/deep-dive, cuddle after sex

Obviously don’t go overboard depending on how casual you want to keep it. Also make sure it’s in a chill casual way.
I generally do this.

"How comfortable she is with investing in you. If a girl doesn’t feel qualified she’ll fall into auto-rejection."
Can you expand on this? How to distinguish auto-rejection from other factors?

I get the impression you’re the more romantic wishy washy feelings type. Which is fine :) but just know you may come across vague which is why girls may be wondering where they stand with you.
Yes, that's me. In fact a girl recently called me a romantic. So how to be less vague?

so like most men, for long term situations your standards go up. Girls might be sensing they’ve got a “ceiling” with you. My first points will help with addressing that

All the best man x
Yes, they got a ceiling. Most girls aren't super cool. We do chat a lot about many things, but I don't always ask them a million personal questions about themselves.
Thanks for the reply. It tells me I'm doing at least part of it right.
 

DoWhatWorks

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Nov 7, 2019
Messages
254
Can you expand on this? How to distinguish auto-rejection from other factors?

Generally if a girl was invested in you before she starts to pull back it's auto-rejection.

9/10 she'll blame it on "work/school/life" but ultimately she's either cutting her losses or has found another guy who'll give more commitment.

To manage your expectations seeing a girl casually for anything over 3 months' is a good run.

Yes, that's me. In fact a girl recently called me a romantic. So how to be less vague?

Speak "womanese" and tell them you aren't interested in being serious with them in a way that she can take.

A lot of your questions will be directly/indirectly answered by this post
 
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