How do you know when you've qualified her enough?

Sensation

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Apr 24, 2020
Messages
17
Location
Vancouver
I'm better at qualifying girls now than I used to. But still in the beginning, I am so into the vibe I have with her, that I sometimes neglect her other aspects. Initially, I don't care if she can cook, or if she is super cool. Don't get me wrong, in the long run I care about all the normal things, but in the beginning I'm running on feel. There have been girls that I liked as a person, but I think they got the impression that I only wanted to fuck them. So, how can one tell that the girl feels qualified enough? Are there some easy benchmarks one can look out for?
 

DoWhatWorks

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 7, 2019
Messages
567
Bro reading confused me but I’ll try answer anyway.

There have been girls that I liked as a person, but I think they got the impression that I only wanted to fuck them

Add subtle validation points to your interactions.

e.g. “You hungry? Let’s order/cook food”, good conversation before diving into sex, listen to her/deep-dive, cuddle after sex

Obviously don’t go overboard depending on how casual you want to keep it. Also make sure it’s in a chill casual way.

So, how can one tell that the girl feels qualified enough?

She’ll keep seeing and sleeping with you without any: “what are we” or “where’s this going” conversations

Are there some easy benchmarks one can look out for?

How comfortable she is with investing in you. If a girl doesn’t feel qualified she’ll fall into auto-rejection.

if she’s happily: texting 1st, doing things for you like cooking, buying you gifts, mending clothes, ironing shirts, organising concerts


- then you’re in a good place.

^^^ all of these a real examples btw


Don't get me wrong, in the long run I care about all the normal things, but in the beginning I'm running on feel

I get the impression you’re the more romantic wishy washy feelings type. Which is fine :) but just know you may come across vague which is why girls may be wondering where they stand with you.

Initially, I don't care if she can cook, or if she is super cool. Don't get me wrong, in the long run I care about all the normal things,

so like most men, for long term situations your standards go up. Girls might be sensing they’ve got a “ceiling” with you. My first points will help with addressing that

All the best man x
 

Sensation

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Apr 24, 2020
Messages
17
Location
Vancouver
Add subtle validation points to your interactions.

e.g. “You hungry? Let’s order/cook food”, good conversation before diving into sex, listen to her/deep-dive, cuddle after sex

Obviously don’t go overboard depending on how casual you want to keep it. Also make sure it’s in a chill casual way.
I generally do this.

"How comfortable she is with investing in you. If a girl doesn’t feel qualified she’ll fall into auto-rejection."
Can you expand on this? How to distinguish auto-rejection from other factors?

I get the impression you’re the more romantic wishy washy feelings type. Which is fine :) but just know you may come across vague which is why girls may be wondering where they stand with you.
Yes, that's me. In fact a girl recently called me a romantic. So how to be less vague?

so like most men, for long term situations your standards go up. Girls might be sensing they’ve got a “ceiling” with you. My first points will help with addressing that

All the best man x
Yes, they got a ceiling. Most girls aren't super cool. We do chat a lot about many things, but I don't always ask them a million personal questions about themselves.
Thanks for the reply. It tells me I'm doing at least part of it right.
 

DoWhatWorks

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 7, 2019
Messages
567
Can you expand on this? How to distinguish auto-rejection from other factors?

Generally if a girl was invested in you before she starts to pull back it's auto-rejection.

9/10 she'll blame it on "work/school/life" but ultimately she's either cutting her losses or has found another guy who'll give more commitment.

To manage your expectations seeing a girl casually for anything over 3 months' is a good run.

Yes, that's me. In fact a girl recently called me a romantic. So how to be less vague?

Speak "womanese" and tell them you aren't interested in being serious with them in a way that she can take.

A lot of your questions will be directly/indirectly answered by this post
 
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