How Much Does the Way You Dress Affect Your First Impression with Women?

[Aussiedude]

So I'm asking this specifically in relation to cold approach, because I feel like it probably has a pretty major affect? Especially when making a first impression and what kind of guy you are in the girls mind. Being dressed well and looking good i feel plays a pretty major part in how women perceive you.

Because I dress ok, but I really ought to update my wardrobe. As I feel like I'm not coming across nearly as well as I could if I dressed and looked better. To be frank sometimes I do dress a bit shabby.


Anyway, so what's everybody's thoughts/experiences on how you dress and how you're perceived/come across to women.

 

[Atlas IV]

It matters. A lot.

My results have skyrocketed in the past year. While I've certainly been getting better overall at the technical aspects of seduction like approaching, frame control, balancing arousal with comfort, etc, I do believe that the single thing I did that had the most outsized effect was overhauling my appearance.

Hair style, muscularity, body fat percentage, clothes, jewellery, shoes. It's all important. It all sub-communicates things to the girls you meet.

I went from skinny jeans, boring hairstyle, skinny physique without muscularity, poor choice of jewellery, generic shoes

to

baggy jeans, permed hair, boxer's physique, and good minimalist accessories, trendy shoes

And since then, daygame (and retention) has gotten sooo much easier. Girls are just generally receptive on approach, where before they were lukewarm.

A big realization for me was understanding current fashion trends, not just picking stuff that I thought looked good (or that PUAs of the past decades recommended). You have to keep up to date on this because it's constantly changing, and dressing in an outdated way will make girls think you are an outdated guy.

Edit: At the risk of breaking an unspoken rule, gotta give credit where it's due. It was this and other posts by @Velasco. that got me thinking seriously about the impact of my appearance, and that got me noticing patterns in guys appearances on social media and around me. Probably would've just continued with my old style if not for that.

 

[James D]

It makes a huuuuuge difference.

Besides the tremendous desirability points it adds, it also helps raising your social desirability.

A woman being hit on, especially during the day, isn't a "normal" thing.

You know that. She knows that.

There's gonna be this whole "what if people see me talking to him?" thing.

Being fashionable drastically reduces that point of friction.

It's a way of signaling you're a cool guy who gets it and she feels more comfortable engaging with such a guy, especially in public.

 

[Will_V]

So I'm asking this specifically in relation to cold approach, because I feel like it probably has a pretty major affect? Especially when making a first impression and what kind of guy you are in the girls mind. Being dressed well and looking good i feel plays a pretty major part in how women perceive you.

Because I dress ok, but I really ought to update my wardrobe. As I feel like I'm not coming across nearly as well as I could if I dressed and looked better. To be frank sometimes I do dress a bit shabby.


Anyway, so what's everybody's thoughts/experiences on how you dress and how you're perceived/come across to women.

Like other guys have said, it matters a lot. I've always paid attention to dressing well. It makes you stand out, it makes you look classy/cool, people in general respect and admire you more, and you look like someone she wants to talk to.

But I don't believe it matters as much what style you go for, as long as it's not a weird style, it fits your body and your personality, and it's fully congruent from head to toe. Girls with any level of maturity will have varying tastes about what they like to see in a man's appearance, and many archetypes can be successful.

It's more important for her that you are the sort of guy who dresses well, to whom it matters how he is perceived, who is in the business of being noted by people and making impressions on them, than exactly what you are wearing.

 

[Skills]

So I'm asking this specifically in relation to cold approach, because I feel like it probably has a pretty major affect? Especially when making a first impression and what kind of guy you are in the girls mind. Being dressed well and looking good i feel plays a pretty major part in how women perceive you.

Because I dress ok, but I really ought to update my wardrobe. As I feel like I'm not coming across nearly as well as I could if I dressed and looked better. To be frank sometimes I do dress a bit shabby.


Anyway, so what's everybody's thoughts/experiences on how you dress and how you're perceived/come across to women.

yes style is huge in my opinion... just makes things 10 time easier, i would put style over physical fitness now a days...

 

[D. Gately]

I think it's the most important thing since it leads the first interaction and she's analyzing you, even if subconsciously, before you get to say a word to her. And if she thinks your look is lame, out of style, poorly fitted, you are behind the 8-ball.

You should be the best-dressed guy she sees all day whether you're cold approaching, or meeting an online girl at a bar/coffee shop. That makes a lasting impression.

Your look also needs to be congruent. So, as an older, successful businessman I wear bespoke suits/shirts with cufflinks and expensive ties. Which also fits with my Gentleman Rake archetype. Everything fits perfectly. A properly tailored off-the-rack suit will do just fine for the vast majority of men.

If I was in a cowboy town then I might have to dress very differently. But in a big city my style is congruent, on point, and rather than looking like other men in a suit, I look better than they do. Most guys clothes don't fit. Their color/pattern matching are trash. Their collar or cuffs may be frayed and they don't notice. But women do.

You likely want to date younger, hotter women so you have to look good and stand out from the crowd. Don't be afraid to be polarizing. It's not hard to improve your wardrobe -- probably the simplest fix that allowed me to move from dating 7s to 8s and 9s on a regular basis.

The 2nd easiest fix is gaining muscle, reducing body fat. When I hit 40, I definitely needed to start lifting heavier and getting back in good shape, so I did. Women definitely noticed, even though I am only fit and not 'ripped.' And the right suit will flatter your physique perfectly.

Plus as you get older, even being simply 'in shape' will start to differentiate you from the crowd that doesn't lift heavy weights nor stays fit.

 

[isildur1]

with daygame you gotta dress as best you can- its the one part of your smv which you have 0 excuse not to be the best you can be in and its the "quickest way" to improve your smv - not optimising it only hinders you , there's 0 benefit to not investing in your style or appearance , a lot of women will judge you on how you dress i think it matters to them a lot more than men in general think it does - James Marshall noted in his autobiograpy that his best wingmen were always the best dressed ones and i think it goes without saying that good style good physique helps you stand out as someone who cares about himself and that's fundamentally attractive . As someone who was bullied a lot at school and at university by other women for the clothes i wore it was hard for me to come to terms with actually having to invest in my style but once i did by results really improved with women.

Recommend Reading Tanner Guzy- the Appearance of power : https://mindful-masculinity.org/202...xpressed-through-aesthetics-2017-book-review/

hes also got some good 21 convention speeches - ive posted one but if you type "21 convention tanner guzy" theres plenty of good speeches about style on there.

i think there was also a social experiment done where they took average male guys and put them in fine suits and then took male models and dressed them in macdonalds outfits the majority of women picked the average guys in the suits - the suit made them look high status and i guess more attractive than the male models wearing Macdonald's uniform

 

[OldGuy]

A suggestion I got for the book "How to Pick Up Girls" is to ask a woman you are interested in to help you pick out an outfit. She will dress you to urn her on.

 

[D. Gately]

A suggestion I got for the book "How to Pick Up Girls" is to ask a woman you are interested in to help you pick out an outfit. She will dress you to urn her on.

That's not a bad idea, however, I have found in my life that most women are mostly clueless* about men's style/fashion. But if you're really bad with colors/patterns, perhaps a female interest would be better than the salesperson. It's hard to say. I think she will only pick out outfits that turn her on if she's already legit interested in you, not just you in her.


*Was out one night in bespoke suit & shirt, Hermes tie, and this pretty blonde woman I was chatting up said she really liked my look. I said thanks and she said what would make it even better [for her] was a nice belt with a silver belt buckle.

I had to politely inform her that bespoke suits don't have belt loops.