How Much Does the Way You Dress Affect Your First Impression with Women?

[Aussiedude]

So I'm asking this specifically in relation to cold approach, because I feel like it probably has a pretty major affect? Especially when making a first impression and what kind of guy you are in the girls mind. Being dressed well and looking good i feel plays a pretty major part in how women perceive you.

Because I dress ok, but I really ought to update my wardrobe. As I feel like I'm not coming across nearly as well as I could if I dressed and looked better. To be frank sometimes I do dress a bit shabby.


Anyway, so what's everybody's thoughts/experiences on how you dress and how you're perceived/come across to women.

 

[Atlas IV]

It matters. A lot.

My results have skyrocketed in the past year. While I've certainly been getting better overall at the technical aspects of seduction like approaching, frame control, balancing arousal with comfort, etc, I do believe that the single thing I did that had the most outsized effect was overhauling my appearance.

Hair style, muscularity, body fat percentage, clothes, jewellery, shoes. It's all important. It all sub-communicates things to the girls you meet.

I went from skinny jeans, boring hairstyle, skinny physique without muscularity, poor choice of jewellery, generic shoes

to

baggy jeans, permed hair, boxer's physique, and good minimalist accessories, trendy shoes

And since then, daygame (and retention) has gotten sooo much easier. Girls are just generally receptive on approach, where before they were lukewarm.

A big realization for me was understanding current fashion trends, not just picking stuff that I thought looked good (or that PUAs of the past decades recommended). You have to keep up to date on this because it's constantly changing, and dressing in an outdated way will make girls think you are an outdated guy.

Edit: At the risk of breaking an unspoken rule, gotta give credit where it's due. It was this and other posts by @Velasco. that got me thinking seriously about the impact of my appearance, and that got me noticing patterns in guys appearances on social media and around me. Probably would've just continued with my old style if not for that.

 

[James D]

It makes a huuuuuge difference.

Besides the tremendous desirability points it adds, it also helps raising your social desirability.

A woman being hit on, especially during the day, isn't a "normal" thing.

You know that. She knows that.

There's gonna be this whole "what if people see me talking to him?" thing.

Being fashionable drastically reduces that point of friction.

It's a way of signaling you're a cool guy who gets it and she feels more comfortable engaging with such a guy, especially in public.

 

[Will_V]

So I'm asking this specifically in relation to cold approach, because I feel like it probably has a pretty major affect? Especially when making a first impression and what kind of guy you are in the girls mind. Being dressed well and looking good i feel plays a pretty major part in how women perceive you.

Because I dress ok, but I really ought to update my wardrobe. As I feel like I'm not coming across nearly as well as I could if I dressed and looked better. To be frank sometimes I do dress a bit shabby.


Anyway, so what's everybody's thoughts/experiences on how you dress and how you're perceived/come across to women.

Like other guys have said, it matters a lot. I've always paid attention to dressing well. It makes you stand out, it makes you look classy/cool, people in general respect and admire you more, and you look like someone she wants to talk to.

But I don't believe it matters as much what style you go for, as long as it's not a weird style, it fits your body and your personality, and it's fully congruent from head to toe. Girls with any level of maturity will have varying tastes about what they like to see in a man's appearance, and many archetypes can be successful.

It's more important for her that you are the sort of guy who dresses well, to whom it matters how he is perceived, who is in the business of being noted by people and making impressions on them, than exactly what you are wearing.

 

[Skills]

So I'm asking this specifically in relation to cold approach, because I feel like it probably has a pretty major affect? Especially when making a first impression and what kind of guy you are in the girls mind. Being dressed well and looking good i feel plays a pretty major part in how women perceive you.

Because I dress ok, but I really ought to update my wardrobe. As I feel like I'm not coming across nearly as well as I could if I dressed and looked better. To be frank sometimes I do dress a bit shabby.


Anyway, so what's everybody's thoughts/experiences on how you dress and how you're perceived/come across to women.

yes style is huge in my opinion... just makes things 10 time easier, i would put style over physical fitness now a days...

 

[D. Gately]

I think it's the most important thing since it leads the first interaction and she's analyzing you, even if subconsciously, before you get to say a word to her. And if she thinks your look is lame, out of style, poorly fitted, you are behind the 8-ball.

You should be the best-dressed guy she sees all day whether you're cold approaching, or meeting an online girl at a bar/coffee shop. That makes a lasting impression.

Your look also needs to be congruent. So, as an older, successful businessman I wear bespoke suits/shirts with cufflinks and expensive ties. Which also fits with my Gentleman Rake archetype. Everything fits perfectly. A properly tailored off-the-rack suit will do just fine for the vast majority of men.

If I was in a cowboy town then I might have to dress very differently. But in a big city my style is congruent, on point, and rather than looking like other men in a suit, I look better than they do. Most guys clothes don't fit. Their color/pattern matching are trash. Their collar or cuffs may be frayed and they don't notice. But women do.

You likely want to date younger, hotter women so you have to look good and stand out from the crowd. Don't be afraid to be polarizing. It's not hard to improve your wardrobe -- probably the simplest fix that allowed me to move from dating 7s to 8s and 9s on a regular basis.

The 2nd easiest fix is gaining muscle, reducing body fat. When I hit 40, I definitely needed to start lifting heavier and getting back in good shape, so I did. Women definitely noticed, even though I am only fit and not 'ripped.' And the right suit will flatter your physique perfectly.

Plus as you get older, even being simply 'in shape' will start to differentiate you from the crowd that doesn't lift heavy weights nor stays fit.

 

[isildur1]

with daygame you gotta dress as best you can- its the one part of your smv which you have 0 excuse not to be the best you can be in and its the "quickest way" to improve your smv - not optimising it only hinders you , there's 0 benefit to not investing in your style or appearance , a lot of women will judge you on how you dress i think it matters to them a lot more than men in general think it does - James Marshall noted in his autobiograpy that his best wingmen were always the best dressed ones and i think it goes without saying that good style good physique helps you stand out as someone who cares about himself and that's fundamentally attractive . As someone who was bullied a lot at school and at university by other women for the clothes i wore it was hard for me to come to terms with actually having to invest in my style but once i did by results really improved with women.

Recommend Reading Tanner Guzy- the Appearance of power : https://mindful-masculinity.org/202...xpressed-through-aesthetics-2017-book-review/

hes also got some good 21 convention speeches - ive posted one but if you type "21 convention tanner guzy" theres plenty of good speeches about style on there.

i think there was also a social experiment done where they took average male guys and put them in fine suits and then took male models and dressed them in macdonalds outfits the majority of women picked the average guys in the suits - the suit made them look high status and i guess more attractive than the male models wearing Macdonald's uniform

 

[OldGuy]

A suggestion I got for the book "How to Pick Up Girls" is to ask a woman you are interested in to help you pick out an outfit. She will dress you to urn her on.

 

[D. Gately]

A suggestion I got for the book "How to Pick Up Girls" is to ask a woman you are interested in to help you pick out an outfit. She will dress you to urn her on.

That's not a bad idea, however, I have found in my life that most women are mostly clueless* about men's style/fashion. But if you're really bad with colors/patterns, perhaps a female interest would be better than the salesperson. It's hard to say. I think she will only pick out outfits that turn her on if she's already legit interested in you, not just you in her.


*Was out one night in bespoke suit & shirt, Hermes tie, and this pretty blonde woman I was chatting up said she really liked my look. I said thanks and she said what would make it even better [for her] was a nice belt with a silver belt buckle.

I had to politely inform her that bespoke suits don't have belt loops.

 

[JollyRoger]

I think it's important but it's not always clear cut what dressing well means. It depends a lot on your lifestyle. As an artist a nice suit is completely incongruent (although I have the wardrobe to dress well for occasion like weddings and black tie events)

Tanner's book is very good for giving men things to think about.

 

[AspiringStoic]

I would like to offer a contrary opinion without disrespect to the experienced senior members who have already contributed to this thread .

I think when it comes to dressing its way more important to "NOT Stand out in a bad way" than it is to dress extremely well and trying to stand out in a good way.

I know that @Aussiedude is doing daytime approaching. Especially in daygame the whole concept is built around spontaneity and the narrative is " I was just going about my day and I saw you and I wanted to come meet you"

Now what do people do in the day? They are running errands, shopping for grocceries, going to and from work, going to and from the gym etc.

And as long as you are dressed "normally" and dont look like a homeless guy, you are going to be just fine. You don't NEED to be dressed extremely well.

Its not your fashion that has a major impact on how the girl reacts, its your confidence, authoritative demeanour in which you approach that makes the big difference.

If you think you need to be "dressed extremely well" then you are not going to be confident unless you are dressed extremely well! And if you are not confident, your approaches go worse.

The girls are reacting to your confidence, assuredness and the behavioral cues you are emanating. If you anchor your confidence to dressing well, you are building your confidence on a weak foundation.

This is when guys cannot approach confidently unless they FEEL they are dressed well.

So what happens if you have just finished your workout and sweaty and come out of the gym and see a hottie who is dressed up? You dont approach!

What happens if you go to a party where everyone is dressed to the nines and you dont "stand out"?

What happens if you go out and someone spills a coffee or drink on you and now you have a stain on your shirt??

Like seriously, you worked years on your confidence and a stain on your shirt can erase all your "confidence"?

That is what happens when you anchor your confidence to being dressed extremely well.

I have approached girls in everything from slacks, sweatpants, jeans, trackpants etc and gotten results. You can dress me in any clothes you want, and I will still get results.


What matters way more consistently is your eye contact, body language, vocal tonality, frame control etc in short CONFIDENCE.

Put me in any clothes that you consider is outdated or "not good enough" and I will still approach girls confidently.

Does dressing well, help? Yes but ONLY if it makes you act more confidently. If not, it hardly has any impact.

I would put my money on an experienced PUA dressed like a homeless guy getting way better results than a newbie dressed "extremely well".

All I am saying is there are consequences to anchoring your confidence to "your wardrobe or being dressed well".

But if you feel that you don't mind those consequences and having a shaky foundation to your confidence, then sure go ahead and try to always be dressed extremely well!

Consumerism rides on that. They will love you.

And it keeps our economies going.

Because I dress ok, but I really ought to update my wardrobe.

If you dress okay, then my honest advice is forget the wardrobe and focus on getting confident, by doing tons of approaches and concentrating on your body language, vocal tonality, assuredness, assertiveness, frame control etc.

 

[Skills]

I would like to offer a contrary opinion without disrespect to the experienced senior members who have already contributed to this thread .

I think when it comes to dressing its way more important to "NOT Stand out in a bad way" than it is to dress extremely well and trying to stand out in a good way.

I know that @Aussiedude is doing daytime approaching. Especially in daygame the whole concept is built around spontaneity and the narrative is " I was just going about my day and I saw you and I wanted to come meet you"

Now what do people do in the day? They are running errands, shopping for grocceries, going to and from work, going to and from the gym etc.

And as long as you are dressed "normally" and dont look like a homeless guy, you are going to be just fine. You don't NEED to be dressed extremely well.

Its not your fashion that has a major impact on how the girl reacts, its your confidence, authoritative demeanour in which you approach that makes the big difference.

If you think you need to be "dressed extremely well" then you are not going to be confident unless you are dressed extremely well! And if you are not confident, your approaches go worse.

The girls are reacting to your confidence, assuredness and the behavioral cues you are emanating. If you anchor your confidence to dressing well, you are building your confidence on a weak foundation.

This is when guys cannot approach confidently unless they FEEL they are dressed well.

So what happens if you have just finished your workout and sweaty and come out of the gym and see a hottie who is dressed up? You dont approach!

What happens if you go to a party where everyone is dressed to the nines and you dont "stand out"?

What happens if you go out and someone spills a coffee or drink on you and now you have a stain on your shirt??

Like seriously, you worked years on your confidence and a stain on your shirt can erase all your "confidence"?

That is what happens when you anchor your confidence to being dressed extremely well.

I have approached girls in everything from slacks, sweatpants, jeans, trackpants etc and gotten results. You can dress me in any clothes you want, and I will still get results.


What matters way more consistently is your eye contact, body language, vocal tonality, frame control etc in short CONFIDENCE.

Put me in any clothes that you consider is outdated or "not good enough" and I will still approach girls confidently.

Does dressing well, help? Yes but ONLY if it makes you act more confidently. If not, it hardly has any impact.

I would put my money on an experienced PUA dressed like a homeless guy getting way better results than a newbie dressed "extremely well".

All I am saying is there are consequences to anchoring your confidence to "your wardrobe or being dressed well".

But if you feel that you don't mind those consequences and having a shaky foundation to your confidence, then sure go ahead and try to always be dressed extremely well!

Consumerism rides on that. They will love you.

And it keeps our economies going.



If you dress okay, then my honest advice is forget the wardrobe and focus on getting confident, by doing tons of approaches and concentrating on your body language, vocal tonality, assuredness, assertiveness, frame control etc.

one one hand you had @isildur1 advocating doing day game in a suit, on the other hand you saying it does not matter much..... In night game it helps a ton to be stylish to your particular niche, in day game it still helps not as much as night game cause you are mainly dealing with single set vs groups.... But still matters to project a cool stereotype, in day game i wear for example a cap, nb and cargo with a plain tshirt, beach areas short and sleevless or not shirt will work etc ... some cool glasses... But yea, suit is too much unless you are doing day game on the biz district during lunch our (then it works there).... For example here in florida in Brickel 1 pm and after 4:30 suits will work on the area...

Anyways this topic is have been beaten to death on fundamentals...

The 4 Categories of Attractiveness Fundamentals

We've got a lot of guys on here nowadays who have not read my book (where I introduced the concept of "attractiveness fundamentals" in 2011), gone through One Date, or watch my Fantastic Fundamentals series on GirlsChase.TV. Girls Chase alums who have gone through the book or One Date are very...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[Levo]

I think youll get the best results when you use your outfit as a conduit of your personality. Think about the kind of girls you want, and the kind of guys they are after. Think about the kind of guy youre trying to present yourself as. Then find the best (famous) examples of these men and copy their style. Lean into stereotypes. Theyre communicating what you want.

Sure you could get a fashion magazine and dress as 'good looking man' but thats so generic and unless you have a very generic personality then it wont help accentuate what makes you you.

 

[D. Gately]

What you wear should definitely be an expression of your personal style, congruent, and help women to see what makes you, you.

 

[AspiringStoic]

one one hand you had @isildur1 advocating doing day game in a suit, on the other hand you saying it does not matter much..... In night game it helps a ton to be stylish to your particular niche, in day game it still helps not as much as night game cause you are mainly dealing with single set vs groups.... But still matters to project a cool stereotype, in day game i wear for example a cap, nb and cargo with a plain tshirt, beach areas short and sleevless or not shirt will work etc ... some cool glasses... But yea, suit is too much unless you are doing day game on the biz district during lunch our (then it works there).... For example here in florida in Brickel 1 pm and after 4:30 suits will work on the area...

Anyways this topic is have been beaten to death on fundamentals...

The 4 Categories of Attractiveness Fundamentals

We've got a lot of guys on here nowadays who have not read my book (where I introduced the concept of "attractiveness fundamentals" in 2011), gone through One Date, or watch my Fantastic Fundamentals series on GirlsChase.TV. Girls Chase alums who have gone through the book or One Date are very...

www.skilledseducer.com

@Skills

I 100 percent agree with the 4 categories of fundamentals.

But in practice guys are going to focus way more on Category 4 Fashion Fundamentals.

Simply because it does not involve facing rejection, awkwardess, overcoming fear, and putting your ego on the line.

The other categories need to be practiced "infield". Whereas fashion can be dealt with without facing those bad feels. So guys hyper focus on that.

Mainstream focuses on that too. So when a newbie does not get good reactions when he approaches, the first thing his mind jumps to is "maybe my fashion is not good. I gotta update my wardrobe".

Its the easiest one to fix with the least amount of pain and it serves as a perfect cover to avoid working on the other fundamentals.

That is why I say, as long as the guy does not look like he is homeless, he should be concentrating on all the other fundamentals before fashion.

If you find a guy who has all the other 3 categories maximized, then yeah sure maximize your fashion.

What in reality you see is a bunch of guys who are dressed decent or even dressed well who cannot go over and approach a hot girl confidently.

If what you see is actually, guys who are confident as fuck and approach tons of girls while wearing shitty clothes, I think we are living in different realities.

 

[JollyRoger]

Sure, don't make an excuse not to approach and do your best. But on the other hand it's good to dress as the person you want to be.

 

[Skills]

@Skills

I 100 percent agree with the 4 categories of fundamentals.

But in practice guys are going to focus way more on Category 4 Fashion Fundamentals.

Simply because it does not involve facing rejection, awkwardess, overcoming fear, and putting your ego on the line.

The other categories need to be practiced "infield". Whereas fashion can be dealt with without facing those bad feels. So guys hyper focus on that.

Mainstream focuses on that too. So when a newbie does not get good reactions when he approaches, the first thing his mind jumps to is "maybe my fashion is not good. I gotta update my wardrobe".

Its the easiest one to fix with the least amount of pain and it serves as a perfect cover to avoid working on the other fundamentals.

That is why I say, as long as the guy does not look like he is homeless, he should be concentrating on all the other fundamentals before fashion.

If you find a guy who has all the other 3 categories maximized, then yeah sure maximize your fashion.

What in reality you see is a bunch of guys who are dressed decent or even dressed well who cannot go over and approach a hot girl confidently.

If what you see is actually, guys who are confident as fuck and approach tons of girls while wearing shitty clothes, I think we are living in different realities.

Again agree but more day game than night game context... In night game matters a lot fashion..