Socializing How To Have The College Experience If You Missed Out On It

[The Emerald Archer]

I've had this article bookmarked for a little while now, thought I'd share it since this forum has seen a lot of posts brooding heavily about this subject. Maybe this article can help those posters' perspective and spark something in them, maybe not.

https://www.succeedsocially.com/collegeexperience

For those who maybe feel similarly about missing out on college or who felt they left some on the table socially, who don't ruminate heavily about the past, I hope this article can help open up your attitude and mindset some.

I'd recommend perusing the site (succeedsocially). It's a little gem I discovered a little while ago. I think it can be a good supplement to Girls Chase because it focuses on general socializing and social skills as opposed to just women and dating (though there are some articles on dating too!).

Best of luck.

 

[Carousel]

This is also a cultural construct particular to some countries. Here in Norway people generally do not live on campus while they are studying and there is less organized partying involved in student life. While there are student organizations, there are not really any widespread equivalents of frats. As a result, nobody here is whining about lack of the "college experience".

 

[The Emerald Archer]

Hey Carousel,

That's a real good point about cultural differences. I'm not sure what it is about the States, maybe we have such a rigid educational structure (or strict culture in general) that keeps kids way too cooped up throughout adolescence and college is seen as this "vacation" in a sense where kids can finally blow off steam and go be a rebel and have "no responsibilities" for a few years, being away from home and family and whatnot.

I commuted and went to a commuter school, and lived at home all throughout college, although I was in a fraternity and partied a LOT in general. Also took a couple vacations (one to south Florida and another one to Eastern Europe) with some buddies where we drank almost every day. Sadly, no one got laid from those lmao. Either way, I found ways to equalize my living at home and not on-campus.

They were fun times for sure but I don't necessarily "miss" them. It was a phase at that point in my life and it was fun for what it was during that period of time.

Personally, I'm looking forward to launching my career and establishing myself financially and aiming to do that in a big city. I feel like Big City partying blows college out of the water and would take that any day over college partying and debauchery haha.

 

[Carousel]

That's a real good point about cultural differences. I'm not sure what it is about the States, maybe we have such a rigid educational structure (or strict culture in general) that keeps kids way too cooped up throughout adolescence and college is seen as this "vacation" in a sense where kids can finally blow off steam and go be a rebel and have "no responsibilities" for a few years, being away from home and family and whatnot.

From my outside perspective, there must be some really strong hype or brainwashing at work here.

Here in Scandinavia, studying is heavily subsidized so there is little financial risk from wasting some years on a stupid degree. But from what I read, it is rather expensive to study in the US. People still go on and take financially useless degrees and go into large debts in order to do so. Probably driven by at least partly this "college experience" hype. So there are also strong incentives for these universities to hype this up, as a lot of academic degrees do not translate into marketable skills.

You can do a shitload of partying and travelling outside college for the tuition fees + living costs. One could easily argue that this is even a more rational choice.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Oh man, this shit used to drive me wild lol. I went to a top party school full of the upper-middle-class rich kid types, tons of nice frat houses, and the prototypical party school except a lot of kids became successful after college too. What really hit me hard is that there were:

1. A lot of hot girls there, like tons, and they outnumbered guy

2. A party culture that was looked as the cream of the crop in the country

3. Academic prestige to go with it, most kids got good jobs or decent ones after college

Now you add to that the pressure American culture puts on kids to enjoy college, make it the "best 4 years of life", paints a bleak picture of life after college, and makes college to be the time to enjoy youth life. You "get it out of your system" in college and then after college, you get married and have "responsibilities" because partying, drinking, and meeting women is frowned upon somehow.

I realized something after graduating and moving to a big city though, in many ways, it never ends and even after college life is a microcosm of college.

Most of the kids I knew who were living Greek Life to the fullest did not all of a sudden move to the suburbs and become goody two shoes, most of them still go out hard after college. A lot of the guys are still digging around hard for the best bars to meet women and are in no ways different from PUAs, the might have a slight social circle boost as some girls they knew in college might go out with them but even that is a stretch.

Even after the sophomore year of college, it turned into less house parties and more going out into town.

Same as after college, most people in their 20s are going out and guys are going out to meet women and party.

Most of all, if you are rich, successful, and cool; the party never really ends.

The losers and beta males end up in the suburbs with a kids and a pickett fence since they cannot compete in the cut-throat real world dating game anymore, no longer having a social circle to rely on.

The winners live in big areas and areas central to massive cities, they are the ones who are still living it up as a bachelor and have their cool crew.

My biggest worry was that this would end but the game never really ends, you just burn out of it and throw your hands up.

Also, I recommend reading this thread which got locked where I talk about my conversation with a frat guy who was a natural in college:

The biggest epiphany I've had about women, game and life to date. (Long Post)

I don't even know where to begin this, in fact, I was at a loss of words for hours when I went through this whole thing. I even thought about holding off on this post but then my gut finally told me that this could be a change that happens forever. It isn't that the conversation I had with an...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[Carousel]

Now you add to that the pressure American culture puts on kids to enjoy college, make it the "best 4 years of life", paints a bleak picture of life after college, and makes college to be the time to enjoy youth life. You "get it out of your system" in college and then after college, you get married and have "responsibilities" because partying, drinking, and meeting women is frowned upon somehow.

I realized something after graduating and moving to a big city though, in many ways, it never ends and even after college life is a microcosm of college.

Yes. This claim about "4 years in college" to "get it out of your system" is pure bullshit both in Western Europe and in the US. Hookups and partying continue far longer for a sizable segment of the population. There has been articles from health professionals complaining about this in Norway and I have seen similar statements from US-based writers. In fact, most of the Manosphere is constantly whining about women not settling down.

The New Dating Game - Washington Examiner

Late last September a college student who called herself Courtney A. posted a story on the feminist website Lemondrop: “I Slept With Tucker Max, the Internet’s Biggest Asshat.” Courtney, 21, is a student at Penn State University. Tucker Max, 33, six feet tall, extrovertedly good-looking, and...

www.washingtonexaminer.com

(a good, if somewhat negative, read)

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Yes. This claim about "4 years in college" to "get it out of your system" is pure bullshit both in Western Europe and in the US. Hookups and partying continue far longer for a sizable segment of the population. There has been articles from health professionals complaining about this in Norway and I have seen similar statements from US-based writers. In fact, most of the Manosphere is constantly whining about women not settling down.

The New Dating Game - Washington Examiner

Late last September a college student who called herself Courtney A. posted a story on the feminist website Lemondrop: “I Slept With Tucker Max, the Internet’s Biggest Asshat.” Courtney, 21, is a student at Penn State University. Tucker Max, 33, six feet tall, extrovertedly good-looking, and...

www.washingtonexaminer.com

(a good, if somewhat negative, read)

I slowly learned it was pure bullshit but you have to think the circumstances that let the lie get through:

1. Tons of 18-22 year olds in one confined location

2. 18-22 year olds living life on Daddy's Money to party

3. Media and Hollywood hype up partying and drinking and sex in college

4. American culture sees it as a norm and even encourages it

5. Drinking and partying are looked down upon and harshly judged after college by what is going on

As you can see, it can lead someone down the wrong path mentally and think poorly of adulthood, hence some of my past fears.

For people complaining, the truth is they suck. Most women have aged out of the game to even get enough value from it and most men who cannot be on the level of guys you and me are now trying to drag other men into the marriage trap, misery does love company afterall.

 

[Velasco]

People still go on and take financially useless degrees and go into large debts in order to do so. Probably driven by at least partly this "college experience" hype. So there are also strong incentives for these universities to hype this up, as a lot of academic degrees do not translate into marketable skills.

"They hook you in with dude parties lmao dude girls lmao dude alcohol lmao and then set you up with a negative net worth and “acceptable” thoughts for the remainder of your twenties. Universities are really selling sex—or at least the promise of it—not education".

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1161169340617523200

 

[Carousel]

"They hook you in with dude parties lmao dude girls lmao dude alcohol lmao and then set you up with a negative net worth and “acceptable” thoughts for the remainder of your twenties. Universities are really selling sex—or at least the promise of it—not education".

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1161169340617523200

Lol! Never mind that a lot of the men won't get laid anyway in that hierarchical environment. What mendacious propaganda!

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Even for the guys that got laid a lot in college, it was a very unique situation or they were living on borrowed time. You find that in the hottest sororities, you always have cut-throat girls who do not want to be used for sex. I found that even among the Chads, most settled into an LTR or might have had a rotation but even that was rare.

 

[The Emerald Archer]

The losers and beta males end up in the suburbs with a kids and a pickett fence since they cannot compete in the cut-throat real world dating game anymore, no longer having a social circle to rely on.

The winners live in big areas and areas central to massive cities, they are the ones who are still living it up as a bachelor and have their cool crew.

Or maybe they have different values and goals in life than partying and hardcore hedonism. Not every body wants to party hard or be like Dan Bilzerian man haha.

I don't understand your use of winners and losers here. From what I gather, you seem to value partying and hook up culture and status and whatnot, but maybe those people don't. Perhaps they get pleasure and meaning from other areas of their lives, or they got it out of their systems earlier in life than folks like you did and they've moved on from that phase of their life. Hence, it makes no sense to call them losers or beta males or to imply that they're not "real winners" or whatever.

It would make sense that if someone wanted to keep the party going after college and strongly valued that, they would move to a poppin neighborhood or downtown in a big city since that is where the action is most likely to be and that would present the most opportunities for socializing, dating and hooking up.

Even for the guys that got laid a lot in college, it was a very unique situation or they were living on borrowed time. You find that in the hottest sororities, you always have cut-throat girls who do not want to be used for sex. I found that even among the Chads, most settled into an LTR or might have had a rotation but even that was rare.

Can you expand upon this? What unique situations are you speaking of? And what do you mean borrowed time? Are you referring to kids who didn't have to work part-time jobs in college because they got full rides or had parents who were smart with their money and were able to pay for their kids' tuition?

 

[The Emerald Archer]

Yes. This claim about "4 years in college" to "get it out of your system" is pure bullshit both in Western Europe and in the US. Hookups and partying continue far longer for a sizable segment of the population. There has been articles from health professionals complaining about this in Norway and I have seen similar statements from US-based writers. In fact, most of the Manosphere is constantly whining about women not settling down.

I have a book about this exact subject, it's called "The Five-Year Party: How Colleges Have Given Up on Educating Your Child and What You Can Do About It" and hits on this topic pretty good. Basically, the author argues that college nowadays is more like an extended vacation hence the title five-year party and that most students are going to college for the social reasons and not placing an emphasis on their studies. Some students still study and work hard on their educations, as there are always exceptions, but on average this is becoming less the case.

I used to recruit for my fraternity a few years back and there were so many freshmen guys talking about the "college experience" and wanting to have fun and party in college whatnot. You could tell they were a little brainwashed and we used that as a strong selling point to get kids to join a fraternity and it worked a lot of the time hahah.

 

[Velasco]

I used to recruit for my fraternity a few years back and there were so many freshmen guys talking about the "college experience" and wanting to have fun and party in college whatnot. You could tell they were a little brainwashed and we used that as a strong selling point to get kids to join a fraternity and it worked a lot of the time hahah.

brutal...

 

[Carousel]

I have a book about this exact subject, it's called "The Five-Year Party: How Colleges Have Given Up on Educating Your Child and What You Can Do About It" and hits on this topic pretty good. Basically, the author argues that college nowadays is more like an extended vacation hence the title five-year party and that most students are going to college for the social reasons and not placing an emphasis on their studies. Some students still study and work hard on their educations, as there are always exceptions, but on average this is becoming less the case.

Yes, this is also my impression. A Manosphere blogger, Aaron Clarey aka Captain Capitalism has written a lot about this, including an entire book called "Worthless" about financially useless degrees and how colleges are just selling expensive partying in many cases nowadays. So this is definitely something multiple people have observed now.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Maybe my phrase was taken the wrong way. I am not saying all people who get married with kids are bad people, what I am saying is that the self-righteous types who preach morals and attempt to target the Dan Bilzerians and Hugh Hefners (RIP!) of the world are losers who are deep down miserable at their life choices. They needed a social circle in college and other parts of life to get laid and when that went away, they clinged to a relationship as their way out. Deep down they envy men who are successful with women at an older age and target those men, these types are in abundance in that young marriage crowd.

As for borrowed time.

I meant that in a closed college setting, most men cannot keep that player life going for long before shit hits the fan, often in the form of a false rape accusation or a lot of drama. When I say unique situation, I mean a lot of money usually going into it but even with those guys, the lay counts were not as high as one may think. A closed environment makes it tough to just run through women, eventually women feel like hoes and most girls start to avoid such guys or distance themselves from the type. Now throw in her fat ugly friends who want to bring the guy down as well.

It seems like you are not really talking a solution with this thread, rather just trying to debate and waste people's times, just saying.

 

[Carousel]

It seems like you are not really talking a solution with this thread, rather just trying to debate and waste people's times, just saying.

Isn't it relieving to know what we are discussing here both for young guys considering wasting money on potentially useless degrees and older guys who "missed out"?

I personally found this thread to be good and constructive.

 

[The Emerald Archer]

Maybe my phrase was taken the wrong way. I am not saying all people who get married with kids are bad people, what I am saying is that the self-righteous types who preach morals and attempt to target the Dan Bilzerians and Hugh Hefners (RIP!) of the world are losers who are deep down miserable at their life choices. They needed a social circle in college and other parts of life to get laid and when that went away, they clinged to a relationship as their way out. Deep down they envy men who are successful with women at an older age and target those men, these types are in abundance in that young marriage crowd.

Self-righteous folks of any kind can be off-putting, mainly because they don't try to empathize with other people and try to understand where they are coming from, mainly pertaining to their values and goals in life. Rather, they pass judgement and criticism off the cuff and I believe that is what most rubs people the wrong way about self-righteous folks.

As for borrowed time.

I meant that in a closed college setting, most men cannot keep that player life going for long before shit hits the fan, often in the form of a false rape accusation or a lot of drama. When I say unique situation, I mean a lot of money usually going into it but even with those guys, the lay counts were not as high as one may think. A closed environment makes it tough to just run through women, eventually women feel like hoes and most girls start to avoid such guys or distance themselves from the type. Now throw in her fat ugly friends who want to bring the guy down as well.

Hmmm... interesting. Thanks for expanding on what you meant.

It seems like you are not really talking a solution with this thread, rather just trying to debate and waste people's times, just saying.

I think you may have missed this in my original post

I've had this article bookmarked for a little while now, thought I'd share it since this forum has seen a lot of posts brooding heavily about this subject. Maybe this article can help those posters' perspective and spark something in them, maybe not.

I simply posted an article that pertained to a lot of former posts and questions that have been asked around here about this very topic, and that folks were free to do whatever they wanted to with that reference.

No need to start getting combative like you did here. That's not cool.

If you don't find this thread constructive you're free to stop posting in it anytime and stop wasting your time, if that's what you believe is happening here.

Isn't it relieving to know what we are discussing here both for young guys considering wasting money on potentially useless degrees and older guys who "missed out"?

I personally found this thread to be good and constructive.

Thanks Carousel, I'm glad this thread was constructive for you.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

It was really just your passive-aggressive tone from my view that rubbed me the wrong way. When you mentioned kids whose parents were "smart with money" or kids who got "full rides", it is almost as if you were sticking up for those that got an easy path in life. In truth, a lot plays into this. Some kids had parents with generational wealth and others got a full ride due to things like being a minority or some unique thing which played for a scholarship.

My point here being that there is so much going into this for you to play devil's advocate for those who had a golden spoon in their mouth since birth.

I was really getting at the fact that in order to be that guy in college who is a "Chad", a lot has to go right, you just have to be born with a golden spoon in your mouth in most cases. You became a bit passive-aggressive, as if kids who had a part-time job in college are at fault.

 

[The Emerald Archer]

It was really just your passive-aggressive tone from my view that rubbed me the wrong way. When you mentioned kids whose parents were "smart with money" or kids who got "full rides", it is almost as if you were sticking up for those that got an easy path in life. In truth, a lot plays into this. Some kids had parents with generational wealth and others got a full ride due to things like being a minority or some unique thing which played for a scholarship.

Can you expand upon this? What unique situations are you speaking of? And what do you mean borrowed time? Are you referring to kids who didn't have to work part-time jobs in college because they got full rides or had parents who were smart with their money and were able to pay for their kids' tuition?

That was a question man, not a statement, in order to ask for some clarification on what you meant exactly. I didn't realize asking for clarification was passive-aggressive, but thanks for enlightening me.

 

[Protean]

@The Emerald Archer don't mind @Oh Pry I didn't sense any passive-aggressive tones in any of your replies. Not sure what he's talking about...

As for young people's expectations of the college experience, I see it as another form of impact bias, which I still find myself falling victim of despite knowing about it. Personally, I've never understood the nostalgia people look back at college with. For me I was excited about the freedom away from my parents to do whatever I wanted without their questioning/oversight whether that was drinking and partying or going to iHOP at 3:00 AM.