How to Not Be Bitter?

[Franco]

It's also important to remember that no man is born adept with women. The men you see on the streets with the most 'gorgeous women' have put years into learning...behind closed curtains, and since they were 13-14 years old.

To add on to PD's comment, it's important to remember that some guys have just gone out and "socialized" with women since an early age. I have friends who go out all the time to bars just to hang out and have a few drinks, and in the meantime, they are talking to women here and there. Some of them are consciously trying to hit on them, and others are unconsciously doing it. Regardless, they are going out every weekend and being around (attractive) women. If you have very little social experience with women as it is (disregarding experience trying to bed them and take them as girlfriends), then you're naturally going to have a steeper hill to climb to get where you want to be.

I've mentioned this on the boards before, but my background was very different from Chase's. I've been social with women since I was a kid; I was on sports teams in school where I interacted with female athletes; in college, I threw my own house parties where I bought booze for everyone to drink (and my social value skyrocketed because of things like this); after college, I went to bars/clubs/beach parties and socialized with very attractive women. I didn't have nearly as much success as I would have liked to have had, but it's mostly because I didn't know back then what I know about women now!

So when I came to this website, I was able to grasp many of the concepts very quickly because I had technically been "out in the field" for most of my life! But if that's not you, then it's going to take a lot of time, patience, and determination to get where you want to be. As Nick mentioned, determined's journal is a good topic to see what it takes to start from the very beginning. Just don't lose sight of the goal, and remember that every failure means you are getting a little more experience and a little bit better!

- Franco

 

[Just_Dave]

Different Perspective and Being Honest

Throwing in my two cents

Response to not be bitter:
To add to what everyone is saying but in a different light and to answer the initial question, staying on topic, and giving something new let me say this . . . look at everything in life as a challenge and don't let it get under your skin. Consider it like a test, you're either going to prepare for it and study or you're just going to go in blindly. Failing to plan is ultimately planning to fail, when you do fail though . . . think about to your response to that failure. Your either going to cry about it or work harder for the next test. You can't get mad at the people who did whatever they did to pass, ultimately your the one in class who receives their own grade.

Rather use the negative energy you would feel from being bitter and use it to better yourself. Ultimately, being bitter can be looked at as quitting and just throwing in the towel then complaining about it. It's okay to be down, but someone who truly wants something out of life won't sit around and mope about it. You have to get up and get it, you can't spend your time worrying about other people. You need to worry about yourself and find a way to get up to the top yourself.

Trust me if getting women were easy everyone would have their dream girl. The thing about earning something and getting it is looking back to see how far you've truly come. We all started from somewhere like many others in this topic have mentioned. However, you can not let your disappointment consume you and drive you nuts. Be honest with yourself are you really working that hard for the results you want? Only you know what you're doing, I'm not here to judge rather to enlighten.

What women do:
Women use a lot of things... reading maxim, watching Girl Code and Guy Code, make up, work out, go shopping, do there hair, etc... to look special to that one guy who hasn't noticed them or too that guy who hasn't sacked up to talk to them. They constantly spaz out trying to figure out what we're thinking. Women write songs, watch movies, novels, and whatever else because they want that prince charming. Truth be told not every woman is nice, and every guy isn't either. It's all about dealing with the right people and screening for the ones you want to have around you.

Attitude:
You gotta have the right attitude when talking to women and dealing with people in life. You want to leave them with a good genuine feeling with sincerity. Women are really attracted to a guy's personality. They want someone who can brighten up their day or heat up their bed.
I know a lot of girls who are looking for that and they're always saying the men are in short notice. Learn to love women and look to better understand them. It all comes with time and it's not an overnight thing either. Practice whenever you can and get to know the girl, girls complain often how men rush towards sex but don't try to establish a good connection first. Women love sex and are more than happy to give it, if you show and act like you want them.

Another time,

Just Dave