If You Want Girls to Signal You More, Be More (Positively) Alert

[Chase]

I've long noticed (as I imagine many guys here have) that women are much more active (and emphatic) in signaling me when I'm in a confident, alert state. Just recently, playing around with @Ratata's in-field visualization concept, I went from "girls trying to get my attention from time to time with mild approach invitations" to "women sending obvious/dramatic approach invitations, parading around in front of me, and planting themselves right next to me."

I was attributing that to small-but-detectable changes in how I was carrying myself (start picturing yourself walking around with a bunch of chicks grabbing all over you, and you get a certain bounce in your step, sparkle in your eye, and sly grin on your face that wasn't there earlier). I have talked about the AI boost you get from attunement in the past.

However, here's a recent MIT brain study finding that things actually become more or less 'visible' to you based on your level of alertness / psychological arousal:

MIT scientists found that what we see is strongly influenced by how alert or active we are. Parts of the brain responsible for planning and control send specialized signals that either boost or quiet visual details. These areas seem to balance each other, sharpening important information while dimming distractions. The study shows vision is constantly being shaped by our internal state.

[H]igher arousal increased ACA's tendency to help VISp sharpen its visual representations. ORB, however, became influential only when arousal was very high, and its involvement appeared to decrease the clarity of visual encoding. According to Ährlund-Richter, ACA may help the brain focus on potentially meaningful visual details as arousal rises, while ORB may act to reduce attention to distracting or overly strong stimuli.

The primary visual cortex of the brain becomes more attuned to specific things you are looking for at higher levels of alertness.

Get to a VERY high level of alertness, and your orbitofrontal cortex starts shutting out irrelevant details to help you zero in with minute detail on whatever it is you're actually looking for.

This matches up with what you will see when you are on 'runs', where you are picking up a lot of girls in quick succession and it feels like suddenly, receptive women are everywhere, and you just know exactly what to do with them. You're in a very high arousal state where you are focused on women's signals and receptivity to the exclusion of almost everything else, and are picking up on signals most guys aren't and that you in a lower arousal state wouldn't even detect (or might detect, but might second guess yourself on: "Is she really...? Or am I reading that wrong..?").

(To be clear: I believe both effects are in play. When you are alert, and behaving in a more confident, attractive way, you are both more attuned to women's signals yourself, and also putting out your own signals that encourage women to notice you and signal for you to approach, signal you to make move and close in the conversation, signal you to move faster with them if they are ready for that, etc.)


WHAT KIND OF AROUSAL IS REQUIRED?

I've talked to beginners who've said they went out looking for approach invitations and saw none at all.

They also do not feel that women ever signal them while in conversation with them.

For some of the real hard-case guys, who claim women must not like them because "women don't signal me, ever", I have given them the task of going out to see if they can see women signaling to OTHER men... and they always come back and say nope, I didn't see that either.

I have taken out all kinds of overweight, unattractive, old guys and found girls who would signal them. And no matter where you are there are always women signaling. So, these signals are out there, but some guys don't see them much or ever.

What I think is happening for these guys is their brains may (sometimes) also be in a state of alert, but they are looking for rejection signals rather than invitations.

I had a guy recently tell me, "I went out, but all I see are women looking away from me, trying to avoid me, closing themselves off to me. Honestly, looking for women's signals and getting all these rejection signals made me feel like a creep!"

The mind sees what it is looking for. If you are looking for rejection signals, the mind is going to focus on those and ignore anything else (including signals of receptivity).

When you are in a HIGHLY attuned state, where you are also calm and outcome independent, you will go out and have women shooting you both rejection signals and approach signals. In conversation, they will be shooting you "do not escalate" and "escalate" signals. You will recognize these signals without much emotion and simply adjust your approach accordingly.

That is the one cautionary note for any guy going out "trying to be more alert to women's signals": make sure you are doing so in an excited and opportunistic way, ideally also outcome detached, where you are seeking positive signals, and not a fatalistic "women are probably not going to be interested in me" way, where you are subconsciously telling your brain to focus on rejection signals (and ignore invitations).

(It is probably also the case that there is a similar 'two pronged effect' in play here, with pessimistic guys putting out signals that make women more likely to want those guys to stay away, as well as pessimistic guys simply ignoring approach invitations and zeroing in on rejection signals.)

tl;dr: Seeing is believing... however, with how the brain works, believing is also seeing.

Chase

 

[James D]

have talked about the AI boost you get from attunement in the past

Me reading this scratching my head thinking "When did Chase talk about an AI (Artificial Intelligence) boost one gets from attunement... Until I clicked ofc.

Great post!

 

[Kshatrap A.V.]

I've long noticed (as I imagine many guys here have) that women are much more active (and emphatic) in signaling me when I'm in a confident, alert state. Just recently, playing around with @Ratata's in-field visualization concept, I went from "girls trying to get my attention from time to time with mild approach invitations" to "women sending obvious/dramatic approach invitations, parading around in front of me, and planting themselves right next to me."

I was attributing that to small-but-detectable changes in how I was carrying myself (start picturing yourself walking around with a bunch of chicks grabbing all over you, and you get a certain bounce in your step, sparkle in your eye, and sly grin on your face that wasn't there earlier). I have talked about the AI boost you get from attunement in the past.

However, here's a recent MIT brain study finding that things actually become more or less 'visible' to you based on your level of alertness / psychological arousal:





The primary visual cortex of the brain becomes more attuned to specific things you are looking for at higher levels of alertness.

Get to a VERY high level of alertness, and your orbitofrontal cortex starts shutting out irrelevant details to help you zero in with minute detail on whatever it is you're actually looking for.

This matches up with what you will see when you are on 'runs', where you are picking up a lot of girls in quick succession and it feels like suddenly, receptive women are everywhere, and you just know exactly what to do with them. You're in a very high arousal state where you are focused on women's signals and receptivity to the exclusion of almost everything else, and are picking up on signals most guys aren't and that you in a lower arousal state wouldn't even detect (or might detect, but might second guess yourself on: "Is she really...? Or am I reading that wrong..?").

(To be clear: I believe both effects are in play. When you are alert, and behaving in a more confident, attractive way, you are both more attuned to women's signals yourself, and also putting out your own signals that encourage women to notice you and signal for you to approach, signal you to make move and close in the conversation, signal you to move faster with them if they are ready for that, etc.)


WHAT KIND OF AROUSAL IS REQUIRED?

I've talked to beginners who've said they went out looking for approach invitations and saw none at all.

They also do not feel that women ever signal them while in conversation with them.

For some of the real hard-case guys, who claim women must not like them because "women don't signal me, ever", I have given them the task of going out to see if they can see women signaling to OTHER men... and they always come back and say nope, I didn't see that either.

I have taken out all kinds of overweight, unattractive, old guys and found girls who would signal them. And no matter where you are there are always women signaling. So, these signals are out there, but some guys don't see them much or ever.

What I think is happening for these guys is their brains may (sometimes) also be in a state of alert, but they are looking for rejection signals rather than invitations.

I had a guy recently tell me, "I went out, but all I see are women looking away from me, trying to avoid me, closing themselves off to me. Honestly, looking for women's signals and getting all these rejection signals made me feel like a creep!"

The mind sees what it is looking for. If you are looking for rejection signals, the mind is going to focus on those and ignore anything else (including signals of receptivity).

When you are in a HIGHLY attuned state, where you are also calm and outcome independent, you will go out and have women shooting you both rejection signals and approach signals. In conversation, they will be shooting you "do not escalate" and "escalate" signals. You will recognize these signals without much emotion and simply adjust your approach accordingly.

That is the one cautionary note for any guy going out "trying to be more alert to women's signals": make sure you are doing so in an excited and opportunistic way, ideally also outcome detached, where you are seeking positive signals, and not a fatalistic "women are probably not going to be interested in me" way, where you are subconsciously telling your brain to focus on rejection signals (and ignore invitations).

(It is probably also the case that there is a similar 'two pronged effect' in play here, with pessimistic guys putting out signals that make women more likely to want those guys to stay away, as well as pessimistic guys simply ignoring approach invitations and zeroing in on rejection signals.)

tl;dr: Seeing is believing... however, with how the brain works, believing is also seeing.

Chase

Former Hard case here.

I can talk something similar from my experience that back when as a teen, I got super stressed about lot of things in my life and especially the feeling at that time that I can't get girls cuz they are dangerous ( due to all the manosphere stuff of late 2016 and early 2017)and Real learned helplessness and "I don't deserve love so i would rather do emotional harm to myself"... And along with the depression at that time. I lost arousal to visual cues and later years after that I realised that I had shifted to comfort based arousal... Where I needed to feel comfort with a certain girl and a guarantee that she likes me and then it was easier for me to feel arousal and not just to her but anyone who looked like her in the street.

And I saw that the girls i felt were safe or easy ( cuz of how they looked ) gave me more eye contacts than hotter chicks.

But with time, experiencing and improving inner game.... I saw that all kind of chicks ( even hotter ones) gave me AIs, IOIs. And then I realised that it was due to my stress and anxiety a d self belief that I would not register the AIs i got since teenage.


So, the more comfort I feel with women, I notice their signs a lot than when i was super stressed and even though at that time they signalled and a few even approached me but my mind refused to register it cuz it saw women as a sign of disaster at that time.

And even though last year, just a month of doing social circle game made me automatically see which women look at me or have signs of interest which i never thought was possible for me to get in the past.

And let me repeat again. Maybe it is cuz of my looks but I always got women looking at me but as I was afraid of them so my mind made me not register them.

But the major problem of negativity came for me when it was time to take action or what kind of personality i would show to women.
So, i solved that too. I solved everything that was there.

Note: As for believing is seeing. It's true cuz lot of mental health issues ( even physical ones in some cases) stem from repeatedly telling your mind things that are harmful. And the opposite is also true.

 

[Water69]

So if im dust ugly must I still behave as attractively?

 

[Chase]

Me reading this scratching my head thinking "When did Chase talk about an AI (Artificial Intelligence) boost one gets from attunement... Until I clicked ofc.

Great post!

The sages were correct... we can no longer use the term 'AI' as an abbreviation for 'approach invitation' any longer...

It has been completely overwhelmed by artificial intelligence!

 

[Chase]

@Kshatrap A.V.,

This is great to read, man. Nice progress, & thanks for sharing your experience!

But with time, experiencing and improving inner game.... I saw that all kind of chicks ( even hotter ones) gave me AIs, IOIs. And then I realised that it was due to my stress and anxiety a d self belief that I would not register the AIs i got since teenage.

Amazing, right?

So, the more comfort I feel with women, I notice their signs a lot than when i was super stressed and even though at that time they signalled and a few even approached me but my mind refused to register it cuz it saw women as a sign of disaster at that time.

And even though last year, just a month of doing social circle game made me automatically see which women look at me or have signs of interest which i never thought was possible for me to get in the past.

That's fantastic.

Note: As for believing is seeing. It's true cuz lot of mental health issues ( even physical ones in some cases) stem from repeatedly telling your mind things that are harmful. And the opposite is also true.

It's kinda crazy how big an effect the mind has on what you are actually able to see (or not) in your life and environment.

The deeper you get into it, the more you start to question, "What else am I not seeing due to my own biases?"

Then you're really into the rabbit hole..!

Chase

 

[Chase]

@Water69,

So if im dust ugly must I still behave as attractively?

It is even more important if you are "dust ugly."

If you are ugly, the only two reliable ways to get women (aside from waiting for the occasional "for who knows what reason this random woman is simply attracted to you for you" girl to come along) is to either get rich and famous or develop attractive behavior.

(Though even if you go the rich and famous route, rich and famous guys without attractive behavior have a hard time over the long-term with girls... getting the girl is much easier than compared to when they were broke nobodies, but keeping her on her best behavior... well, not so much...! So even then, I recommend: learn to behave in attractive ways!)

Chase

 

[Water69]

@Water69,



It is even more important if you are "dust ugly."

IT's a very tricky situation.

I have big money good style , used designer purple clothes, big perfumes, but it has to do something in the Face... I have glasses aswell but ridding it doesn't seem to improve a thing.

I don t want to be famous i prefer hiding more, but as Sex is important, i wanna practice it still. for free...?

I used more than 300 Escorts daily now one, from mid 2023 to early 2024, it was a good time, but I felt like a total Betta Provider, and my dad said providing isn't good because the see you as a ATM, and not genuine.

Everyone know some are used for sex and some used for money. But i couldn t esape this latter catergory.

 

[lceman]

Feeling more confident but especially more horny gets me eyeballs. Opposite is when I'm stressed and busy and notice nothing. Kind of like a mirror.

"I want to bring someone home tonight" vs "I'm going to go out and talk to girls" gets me way more attention.

 

[Kshatrap A.V.]

@Kshatrap A.V.,

This is great to read, man. Nice progress, & thanks for sharing your experience!



Amazing, right?



That's fantastic.



It's kinda crazy how big an effect the mind has on what you are actually able to see (or not) in your life and environment.

The deeper you get into it, the more you start to question, "What else am I not seeing due to my own biases?"

Then you're really into the rabbit hole..!

Chase

Actually I should thank you. Cuz Had i not been reading girlschase, i don't know where I would be in life.

Speaking of biases, These days I am having biases which support my success so everyday it looks like the world wants me to succeed.

 

[gameboy]

the world wants me to succeed.

That's an excellent mindset to have!

I believe mindset is actually one of the most important factors for pretty much anything in life.

 

[Water69]

Feeling more confident but especially more horny gets me eyeballs

trvke

 

[KJ Francis]

The sages were correct... we can no longer use the term 'AI' as an abbreviation for 'approach invitation' any longer...

It has been completely overwhelmed by artificial intelligence!

Lol fuck these robots... It's fun, but sometimes they neg in C3. Sheesh.

Maybe "red pill" can be stolen back like a Matrix unplugging.

Or OS (operating system) could be stolen in exchange. Opener Signal... or Solicitation... Then pAImAI would trickle down to pOSmOS lol

 

[KJ Francis]

I tried this trick and it was really cold out, so I got confused about what outfits they should be in. Turned into some kind of skimpy Eskimo parka and I almost started laughing, which got me an AI.

So it works!

For real though... I do notice this when I've got sex on the mind generally and am walking around - usually with my head elsewhere rather than overlayed on reality. Will have to give it a real shot while in a conversation. Or maybe turn on multiple windows of striptease dance porn when heading out the door or something.

 

[Marty]

The mind sees what it is looking for. If you are looking for rejection signals, the mind is going to focus on those and ignore anything else (including signals of receptivity).

When I first learned to drive (in 1993) I failed my test the first time, then got a new instructor who completely transformed my view of this crucial life skill. Until then I had been cautious and hesitant, which paradoxically made my driving less safe. He encouraged me to "know where I'm going" and be positive and assertive. Suddenly I started making fast progress, passed my test before the year-end without difficulty, and became a confident and responsible driver.

Of the many wise pieces of advice he gave me, one that particularly stuck with me was the following:

Don't look at the obstacle. If you do that, you might hit it. Look instead at the gap between obstacles. Your hand-eye coordination will do the rest by itself.

This doesn't just apply to driving, by the way. In the decades since, it's been priceless in avoiding sticky situations when skiing, bicycling, walking down the street in a hurry, running for a closing flight at the airport, skating, crossing a busy street in heavy traffic on foot, and even maneuvering a shopping cart through a grocery store.

However, here's a recent MIT brain study finding that things actually become more or less 'visible' to you based on your level of alertness / psychological arousal:

This is very interesting, and I love how you provide citations from the literature to back up your assertions, although given your track record, Chase, I'd be inclined to believe it just because you say it. However, I think that why it works is probably more than what I need at the moment. For now, I will stick to resources that describe how to do it: I see that you've linked to one of your own articles to get me started, and I'd be fascinated to read more.

I've talked to beginners who've said they went out looking for approach invitations and saw none at all.

They also do not feel that women ever signal them while in conversation with them.

For some of the real hard-case guys, who claim women must not like them because "women don't signal me, ever", I have given them the task of going out to see if they can see women signaling to OTHER men... and they always come back and say nope, I didn't see that either.

This certainly resonates with me; I can't recall ever seeing a woman signal to another man.

As for receiving invitations myself, there was one time in my early thirties, before I found the Girls Chase website, when I left my office in Moscow to buy some hygiene products in a pedestrian underpass beneath the Garden Ring. The rather foxy saleswoman, a little bit older than me at the time and in very fetching hose and heels, made long-lasting, repeated, and very intense eye contact with me over the course of the five minutes or so that I was in the store, coming over close to the shelf where I was choosing the items and making sure that I could see that she was looking at me, several times. (We used to dress nicely for the office in those days: suit, tie, cufflinks, the works.)

I reckoned something must be up, although I wasn't sure what, so I asked her name at the checkout, got her phone number, and called her and met with her a few times over the following weeks. I didn't know the term "approach invitation" at the time, but I am guessing that's what it was.

I don't remember anything like that happening again in the 15+ years since. It would be great if I could learn to recognize it; for me it's more one of those things you have to take on faith until you see it for yourself.