Is there such a thing as "attractive behaviours" or is attractiveness 100% down to fundamentals?

Don Giovanni

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1. How do i become a woman's first choice guy? Am I just doomed not to be because of my poor natural fundamentals?
You don’t have to be their first choice in order to sleep with them.

You’re getting dates from online, which is 99% looks based, therefore I would say you’re not that bad looking.

2. I am still meeting women using dating services. Do you think that I might have different experiences with day game? My coach recommended that I stay away from daygame because it would destroy my self esteem, but I'm happy to try it if it might be better.
Cold approach is uncompromising. It’s an experience I would recomend to everyone, but if you think you’re not ready, don’t.

And dude, give yourself credit. You brought 2 girls to your appartment in last 1,5 months. I call that progress! Even if they wanted to leave after 5min, maybe you get next girl to stay 15min? Or maybe you just TRY to kiss the girl when you get to your appartment?

4. If women are coming back but getting uncomfortable within a minute or two, before I even get them a beverage, how do I troubleshoot this?

Show them your appartment, go take a piss so she gets time to breathe.

But before that you should set non judgemental frames. Touch should be established, you should get sex on her mind.

I won’t go into every little detail but ideally something like when you’re in your more intimate date location, sitting next to each other, when she laughs you put your arm on her thigh and squeeze it or around her shoulders and pull her in. Then just leave it there. Then you tell her that you think it’s unfair women are shamed for acting on their sexualities, like girls getting called sluts and guys kings when they sleep with a new person, its just unfair. Then you invite her to your’s. When you come in say that you have to take a piss and that she gets comfortable. Then just be casual, offer her drinks, put some music on, be fun, sit next to her and continue the touch where you left it. I like to brush a girls hair back, look her in the eyes, hold her chin then kiss her (micro moves, you get chance to back off on each step instead of blowing the whole thing). Then from there on… ;)

Just an example. Lots of articles on how to escalate, sexualize on here. I think thats your biggest issue besides your personal mental health issues (it’s fine).

5. How do I internally handle the brutal and punishing experience of trying to get a girlfriend? It's amazing how much guys seem to suffer for this, and I need to fire myself up somehow.

Don’t look for a girlfriend. Look to improve with girls.

I know it hurts. Makes you feel like you’re not good enough. DO NOT equate your success with girls to your self worth. Believe me, if you stay on this long enough, you will get laid. But you mental health issues wont go away, sorry. It’s kinda related but not the same thing.

Also get something that makes you happy in life. Do stuff for yourself. I get a good feeling just from cleaning my apartment, working out, getting a nice shave sometimes, a walk in the park, even visiting my family lol.

As to how to look at girls… I would say try to have fun with it. If you can’t do that yet (it’s fine) look at it as your experiment. A hobby, side project. But do not look for a girlfriend. That will come with the process.

Overall I would say read on escalation, sexualization and KEEP AT IT. Also you got good input from everyone else.
 
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Winston

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Not to bring you down but these are disempowering stories that you’re telling yourself.
I'd like to chime in specifically on this because I think this is a well-intentionned, but misguided advice.

Traumas are not just stories that people are telling themselves in their heads. As @Carousel explained here, traumas are stored in the body under the form of nerves hyperactivation and neural patterns. In other words, it's a physiological problem, not a cognitive problem. Trying to solve this problem on the cognitive level won't work. To say "Stop complaining and be a winner instead" to someone traumatized won't work, and it is actually quite cruel.

It's quite likely that OP is indeed traumatized by his past, that those traumas exist not in the form of stories but instead as a physiological reality, and that this is a huge part of what is preventing him from fulfilling his desires. @raiden I would advise you look into TRE, it has the potential to clean your traumas, and could help you immensively regarding your results with girls, and your well-being and mental health.
 

Train

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I'd like to chime in specifically on this because I think this is a well-intentionned, but misguided advice.

Traumas are not just stories that people are telling themselves in their heads. As @Carousel explained here, traumas are stored in the body under the form of nerves hyperactivation and neural patterns. In other words, it's a physiological problem, not a cognitive problem. Trying to solve this problem on the cognitive level won't work. To say "Stop complaining and be a winner instead" to someone traumatized won't work, and it is actually quite cruel.

It's quite likely that OP is indeed traumatized by his past, that those traumas exist not in the form of stories but instead as a physiological reality, and that this is a huge part of what is preventing him from fulfilling his desires. @raiden I would advise you look into TRE, it has the potential to clean your traumas, and could help you immensively regarding your results with girls, and your well-being and mental health.

I second the idea that traumas can exist at the psychological level, 100%. Cognitive therapies can only do so much.

For example, I used to have recurring panic attacks after deep trauma the past year. I resolved the trauma at the cognitive, conscious level but I still had recurring panics. I tried meditation, breathwork, EFT, etc.

After multiple sessions of proper TRE, my panic attacks reduced by 99%. I attribute this to the fact that my body/subconscious/primal state/etc was able to properly process and resolve feelings at that level that the consciousness cannot reach.

TRE is amazing because it resolved an issue that people actually medicate for. I spared myself the side effects of medication for a therapy that is free!

I strongly recommend trying TRE as well if there are any lingering traumas that cognitive therapies are not resolving.
 

HoofHearted

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Don’t look for a girlfriend. Look to improve with girls.

I know it hurts. Makes you feel like you’re not good enough. DO NOT equate your success with girls to your self worth. Believe me, if you stay on this long enough, you will get laid. But you mental health issues wont go away, sorry. It’s kinda related but not the same thing.

Was just lurking. But wanted to point out that this is wisdom.

To such men, I always encourage them to examine the emotions that would lead them into a cage/commitment. Perhaps whatever you think another person can give you... is something you need to find within yourself. You may think having a significant other is certain type of emotional solution, but this perception you hold may not be reality.

The value problem is insidious and never goes away. As any man who has been out with a beautiful woman knows, the world will see you differently and treat you differently... and it is oh so tempting to lean into that. The lesson being that value derived from anything external, especially another human being, is incredibly ephemeral and fleeting. Only suffering here.

In regards to OP, I really can't guide and don't believe any others here can either. The first thing that occurs to me is that 50 meet ups off of apps is NOT 50 dates. The first post-app meetup is clearly not precisely the same event as say an actual date established first in person the old fashioned way. We can talk about why this is, but it really doesn't matter.

However, 50 is still too many. Mathematically, such exposure when faced with a random roll should've led to an outcome. Something is critically affecting these numbers.

And it's all okay. I'm an internet stranger and all I can do for you is applaud your efforts to improve, they're respectable, and say keep seeking real life resources to help you. Keep engaging with your issues and your goals.
 

Surveyor

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The first thing that occurs to me is that 50 meet ups off of apps is NOT 50 dates. The first post-app meetup is clearly not precisely the same event as say an actual date established first in person the old fashioned way. We can talk about why this is, but it really doesn't matter.
I'd be curious to hear a fuller explanation of that.
 

HoofHearted

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I do not use apps anymore, but I am a person who has historically had extreme success with them (the metric being a sexual encounter).

The first post-app meetup is best described as a 'pre-date,' rather than a date. Your likelihood of getting a woman whose matched with you to meet you off of an app is much easier than the cold approach proposition of date, IF you know what you're doing.

Because the latter means more. She has seen you in reality, and frankly performed a better and more thorough assessment most likely.

With the app, it's much easier to achieve that much more meaningless 15-30min meet up I think because there's less investment and commitment. I've seen it all-- I've seen women take a look at me, instantly decide no and leave after 10mins (not common). I've had women borderline sexually assault me in the pursuit of sex in under 30mins.

With the app, done correctly you can follow an easy process, 90 percent of which is avoiding mistakes, and 10percent of which is patching some holes about yourself... if you're good with the medium.

Apps is training wheels, and if you're on it too long in my opinion it's baby mode. Every victory there is minor in the grand scheme of things. Eventually I feel everyone should take their giant balls out into the world and get challenged, because it's good for you. The underlying and central premise here being that these two things are not the same, one is far more involved and has deeper implications than the other.

If you tell me you met a girl off of an app, I just shrug, that's like saying to me you shook hands with someone... hope you can convert it to sex, maybe you've got that little skill, maybe you don't.... but the sooner the better.

If you tell me you pulled a date from cold approach, where another human being actually looked at you and agreed to come out, I gotta give the nod. You almost certainly cleared a higher threshold and are going to a more loaded interaction (by comparison).
 

raiden

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I've had more bad experiences and now I'm becoming very miserable about being an incel. The troubling thing is that I really have no idea what a good date looks like when it doesn't end up in isolation. I know that talking and getting to know her then going home and asking to see her again is never going to work. I also know that doing that and then escalating to a kiss, talking more, saying goodbye and suggesting another date is hopeless too. What does a good date look like when it doesn't end in isolation? How long should it be (usually mine are 1-2 hours) and what should happen on it?

I am miserable because I've been incel for all these years. Some days I cry and wonder how things can be this difficult. I see guys with girlfriends all the time and I wonder how it ever happened. It's like I have a dark cloud over me and I'm carrying this misery around. One of my friends doesn't want to spend time with me anymore because I'm so miserable. I used to be his first choice friend. I'm yelling or being withdrawn from family members. When things are like this, how do i get out of it? Every bad experience pushes me further into the misery but if I don't try, I definitely remain incel and will surely become more miserable.

I am not working for my coach for a few weeks, while I save up more funds to pay for it. Would you recommend street day game for me or shall I continue with my coach's suggestion to try to get one good experience using these dating systems in an attempt to eliminate my misery before trying daygame again?
 

ElderPrice

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@raiden -

I feel your pain, my friend. I'm going to try answering some of your original and latest points, based on my experience and knowledge.

1. The idea of 'is there something I'm missing?'
Yes, I think so. You give me the impression that, from studying, you know the general recommended structure of a date. This is good. What I think you're missing are all the little details that go in between the main structural elements. Chase talks about this in his latest article 'Advice for Stubborn Guys.' The problem is that these little details are so small and there are so many of them, it's impossible for a guide to exist to tell you literally 100% of what you have to do. Even if there was such a guide, the game plan would go out the window if she changed up a single variable on you when she arrived for the date!

I think you're missing these small details because your head isn't exactly wired right. You're way too overanalytical and way too dependent on external circumstances to feel good about yourself. I think the mental wiring is causing you to miss the details that someone confident, with strong internal validation would see. Let me give you a single example. You ask how long should a date be. Because you're coming from a place seeking external validation, what your mind is really saying when you ask this is "How long does the date have to be so the girl likes me and doesn't lose interest in me?" See that? That's neediness! To contrast, a man with high self esteem and internal validation would think like "I am a busy man with lots of fun, wholesome, fulfilling options on how to spend my time. I value my time and don't like wasting it. I can squeeze this girl in at whatever o'clock on whatever day. But I can't give her more than 30 minutes because I have to make my next appointment." Or, while on the date, a guy like this might think "Oh my god, this woman is way fatter than her pictures and is a nutball. I know it's only been 5 minutes but I'm getting up and leaving." See what I'm saying? He's being his true self. He's not making choices based on what the other person is going to think about him. Perhaps I can describe it as there are 'rules' to socializing that one doesn't see if their head isn't on straight.

2. How to get your head on straight
You need to get a stronger sense of who you are. Who YOU are. What matters to YOU. You need to sit down and strip away every thing you do hoping that it will make someone like you. Find your authentic self. Find what FIRES YOU UP when there is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. My guess is that what you'll find is that your authentic self is very undeveloped without really anything going on. Meaning, you're not doing much in life exclusively for YOU. It's kind of a small, naked feeling. This is a good realization. Now you can begin authentically building yourself up. It'll take a while, but once you see this and once you've built yourself for YOU, only THEN you will start seeing all these 'rules' and social details that you're currently missing.

3. Regarding attractiveness
The simplest, most perfect description of attractiveness that I've ever heard came from Patrice O'Neal: She's not attracted to you unless she thinks you're better than her. Sit down for 30 minutes and just think about this. This should help you spot some of the reasons a girl might cool off when interacting with you. If a girl likes you enough to agree to a date, then within 30-60 minutes her interest vanishes, what could you be saying/not saying in the context of "better than you"? For instance, perhaps in conversation it's revealed she makes more money than you. Perhaps she travels more than you. Perhaps she tries new things more than you. Perhaps she's taller than you than what she expected. Perhaps she's more positive of a person than you. Perhaps she has stronger friend/family relationships than you do. Absolutely none of these alone are deal breakers, but each one you can think of as minus 1 point, and if all you're communicating is minus 1 point, minus 1 point, minus 1 point, etc, and not saying or showing anything to GAIN points, then she's going to think you're beneath her and she will lose interest. You need to grow yourself in ways that make you better than women, and at same time appreciate all the ways that currently exist that make you better so that you can HIGHLIGHT THEM on dates!

4. Approaching
In accordance with all the above, I would advise you to stop approaching for now and work on all this internal stuff. Because as your coach suggested, if you just keep approaching, I think you're going to keep getting the same results and feeling like shit. Enough of that. It's time to feel good about yourself. Address the core problem first, then go back to approaching when you have a strong foundation.

Hope that helps!
 

FunGuy

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Like I said in my earlier post on this thread, you are not providing us with enough info for us to diagnose what you are doing wrong. Can you take the 3 dates that you remember most and post what happened from beginning to end. Be very detailed and explain where these dates were, what you spoke about, how long the date lasted, were there any awkward silences, did you or her say anything flirty etc.

I am also very curious about the situations where the girls ended up going to ur place and leaving after 5 minutes as that sounds alarming. I have never heard of anything like this happening to anyone so I am assuming that you have bloody chainsaws and machetes lying around at your place or you said/did something that made them EXTREMELY uncomfortable.

Does your coach observe you while you are on dates? How involved is ur coach with what you are doing? I've never been coached but I assume you can create a situation where he/she is able to observe you closely while you are on a date. Maybe take a girl to a bar and have him sit on the stool right next to you guys so he can hear and see everything and debrief afterward.

I have a quick story that might open your eyes to something. So I still remember the hottest girl I went on a date with in 2022. Easily a 9 in the looks department but literally 5 minutes into the date I wanted to gtfo because I could clearly tell that her mental/emotional state was out of whack. Even though she wasn't socially awkward or anything, I was still super turned off because she was like super depressed and miserable. Everything she said was extremely negative and all she did was pout and complain about stuff going on in her life. She was also giving me way tmi about her personal life and I'm like bro I just met you 3 minutes ago these topics are a little too deep.

The reason I bring up that last paragraph is because I suspect that you are either going through something emotionally/mentally damaging that is leaking out in your dates and you are unaware of. It can also be some self esteem issues and you are giving off. You could be doing everything right but if your mental state is out of whack the girl will sense it and it will make them distance themselves from you. Lastly, another thing I suspect is that your social skills could use improvement and you might be saying awkward stuff like that hot chick I mentioned in the previous paragraph. Even if you are having very boring "vanilla" dates, you should still get laid bare minimum like two or three times from 50+ dates, which clearly indicates that you are doing something(s) VERY WRONG.
 

killerman

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I don't stutter or have a mole. I can be sure of that because my speech therapist was amazed at my improvement and said that I probably don't need any speech therapy anymore. I have been complimented on my skin. I don't think that I am in bad shape because I am interested and enthusiastic about bodybuilding training, and have been for years now. All medical checks that I have had say that I am in good health regarding bodyfat, blood pressure, diabetes score, resting heart rate etc. etc.

I am of course miserable about being an incel and have a low opinion of myself. I am generally negative but in the past 1-1.5 months I made a commitment to never show it in person when I am with women. So now I find myself always finding the positive side to everything and even correcting women when they say something negative. My friend tells me that I could be a little more laid back, unstructured and fun.

The main weakness that I have is that my natural fundamentals are very poor. I am an ethnic minority and my height is below average. I know that when women are uncomfortable, they'll try to get out of the situation as soon as possible while maintaining politeness, social decorum etc. But that isn't happening with me; the women are happy to talk to me or have a long ass date 2-3 hours long.


Typical date is to meet at a food or drinks venue. Talk about whatever. Bounce to another food or drinks venue that's a bit quieter or dark or romantic. If the weather is good this could involve somewhere outdoors instead e.g. sit in a nearby park. Then if I think that the date is going well and we both feel comfortable, I will at the second venue try to escalate to kissing or suggest bouncing home. That gets a no. Date continues with more talking about whatever and then we go home (separately).
OK, to begin with your dates can't be going that badly if women choose to stay for 2-3 hours. The positives:

1. You've had 50 dates. Well done. Some guys can't even get 1. So you're doing well there. Try to be a bit more grateful for it. That will raise your self esteem.
2. Women stay with you for 2-3 hours. Again, good. You're clearly not a creep or they'd bounce ASAP.
3. You're in shape. Again, good. Most guys are sloppy and out of shape. You're not. Again be grateful for it. That will raise your self esteem.
4. You're well dressed.

One criticism, NEVER kiss a girl on a date, unless she's back at your place. Then escalate to sex. Try and be more sexual. If girls are staying with you for 2-3 hours then you must be doing something right. Try and focus on saying as little as possible, giving sexy body language with your legs wide open and taking up more space, being super relaxed. Do some bedroom eyes, work on getting a deep sexy voice. This is probably what's letting you down. Just focus on letting the girl talk and be sexy. Also you need to ask girls back to your place. Every time. Try to come up with the perfect excuse, like you start talking about music and you're both into a certain type of music, then say "hey i've got some awesome tunes by X band, we should go back to my place to listen to it together". Or "hey that sunset looks pretty cool, got some pretty cool views from my apartment, fancy coming back to my place for a nightcap and last drink?" You need to come up with excuses and good excuses to go back to yours. Always best as well when you've been doing a bit of touching for a while, the more touching the receptive and the more likely she'll want to come back to yours, but ALWAYS increase touch slowly, so start with putting your arms around the sofa you're on and then touch her shoulder with your fingertips, if she's responsive then a bit of caressing of her upper arm, then other hand on legs, then caress her legs as she speaks, but pay attention to body language, if she's receptive you proceed, if she isnt you back off a little.

So to recap work on these things:

1. Gratitude for the positives: getting 50 dates, being in shape, dressing well, girls staying for 2-3 hours
2. Focus on talking less and being more mysterious
3. Work on being sexy, work on your fundamentals ie voice, eye contact etc
4. Give an excuse to go back to yours
5. Small incremental touching of the girl, increase if she's responsive, back off if she's not.

And that's it. Don't let it get to you, getting good with girls takes a while, it isnt easy. You'll get there, you just need to tweak a few things, then you'll get better results.
 
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PaulieFlyn10

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OK, to begin with your dates can't be going that badly if women choose to stay for 2-3 hours. The positives:

1. You've had 50 dates. Well done. Some guys can't even get 1. So you're doing well there. Try to be a bit more grateful for it. That will raise your self esteem.
2. Women stay with you for 2-3 hours. Again, good. You're clearly not a creep or they'd bounce ASAP.
3. You're in shape. Again, good. Most guys are sloppy and out of shape. You're not. Again be grateful for it. That will raise your self esteem.

One criticism, NEVER kiss a girl on a date, unless she's back at your place. Then escalate to sex. Try and be more sexual. If girls are staying with you for 2-3 hours then you must be doing something right. Try and focus on saying as little as possible, giving sexy body language with your legs wide open and taking up more space, being super relaxed. Do some bedroom eyes, work on getting a deep sexy voice. This is probably what's letting you down. Just focus on letting the girl talk and be sexy.

So to recap work on these things:

1. Gratitude for the positives: getting 50 dates, being in shape, dressing well, girls staying for 2-3 hours
2. Focus on talking less and being more mysterious
3. Work on being sexy, work on your fundamentals ie voice, eye contact etc

And that's it. Don't let it get to you, getting good with girls takes a while, it isnt easy. You'll get there, you just need to tweak a few things, then you'll get better results.
Why the never kiss a girl on the first date unless she's back at your place?

I've done it before then took her home and fucked her. Sometimes i kiss her and we hook up on the 2nd date

So I'm curious why your take on that
 

killerman

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Why the never kiss a girl on the first date unless she's back at your place?

I've done it before then took her home and fucked her. Sometimes i kiss her and we hook up on the 2nd date

So I'm curious why your take on that
In my experience it always just gives too much away. Sure it can work, and it's worked for me quite a few times, but my results have been better since I only started kissing her at my place. When i was kissing on the date, most of my dates didnt end in sex, quite a few did but the majority didnt. Now that I only kiss at my place, the majority of my dates end in sex. It just improves your success rate. That's just me though. Try it. And anyway it's not working for raiden so he should stop doing it.
 
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Warped Mindless

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With 50 dates you should have fucked at least a few from sheer dumb luck and them just being horny. Something deeper is going on here and many of these little “band aid” solutions being proposed aint it.

Going on ONLY what I’ve read in this thread here are the assumptions I’m going to make:

1) You are decent looking
2) Women see you as a nice guy who’s slightly entertaining.

1 and 2 is why they don’t mind spending time with you on the dates. So why won’t they close?

Back when I was a dating coach I had some students like this. Lots of dates, and they dates lasted a while, but they could never close. Never.

The common denominator is that they were all autistic to some degree and women recognized it.

I’m going to guess this is also what’s going on with you. Unfortunately I don’t know how to help with this but knowing the problem is one step closer to figuring out a solution.
 

TestY

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I would be careful about accepting the autist-label that is thrown around here. Now, on to the subject:
Statistically, I must be more highly educated and highly paid than the average person but I know not to tell a woman any of this unless she asks and, even so, to say it quickly as if it's nothing and then move on
I believe this can be part of your problem. Yes, you shouldn't outright brag, but since attaction/value seems to be a sticking point of yours, I'd suggest to try and DHV a lot during the dates. See for example "How to tell attraction stories", and "Nested DHV stories". Ultimate Man Project is also strong on DHV stories, so it might be worth it to check them out. Here's a relevant story from them:

I have an amazing example of this from the 2nd day our most recent Vegas Residential. One of our students (Chinese, short and insane babyface) was facing two huge obstacles.
1. He found it impossible to hook a girls attention for extended periods of time.
2. He had a hard time making girls attracted to him.
It didn't take long for me to identify the root cause of his problems - the girls had a hard time seeing him as a sexual option. Partly because he is very young looking (very much like myself) & their initial perception of him would ALWAYS be "low value" and "innocent".
The first day of every residential will be an Introduction & Diagnostics day. We get to know each others stories, journeys and goals. During this session, he told us that he graduated med school and that he is very well off financially.
If he could effectively communicate these two facts (being a doctor and extremely well off financially), it would help counterbalance and fix the initial perception girls had of him.
Obviously, you don't want to blatantly tell girls that you're a rich doctor. So here's what I told him to do
"Ask the girls what they're doing in Vegas. They're going to ask you the same question back. Your response will be" I'm here just to chill and take a break from my patients back in Hong Kong".
This allows him to IMPLY that he's high value. It creates a lot of intrigue and baits the girls into asking further questions. When they ask further questions, you get a green light to go all-out DHV mode.
All of a sudden, everything changed. He was sparking crazy amounts of attraction, interest & curiosity in EVERY SINGLE ONE of his interactions after this quick little adjustment to his game.
And after we taught him how to DHV himself sexually... Holy. Fuck.

In other words: the standard GirlsChase method might not suit you that well, you might be better off using another framework, like Mystery's.

I would also like to suggest a 2nd option, which is to try Indifference game. For example as described in "The Cure: Secrets everyone should know to become immediately successful with women"

I started visualizing for a half hour a day, and it as really tough at the beginning. Your brain just doesn't let you have it that easy. But day after day, I could visualize sharper, "feel" it more, and eventually I could see it in my mind. They talk about "mental movies", this was it. I would imagine me being good with girls, acting cool, talking to them, being in control, having fun, that irresistible smirk, slight cockiness.
I was noticing dramatic improvements in my results and within about 60 days, I would go out, and women would stare at me . Women would literally get nervous just taking to me. They just loved my new attitude. This was not normal for me. When I talked to women, they would give me signals to take them home almost without me doing anything. Girls were calling me several times a day
At first, these ideas will seem like a fantasy, but as you play with them they’ll soon turn into theory, and as you go over them some more, they’ll literally turn into fact
 
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Karea Ricardus D.

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Hey raiden good to see that you're still going! It's very difficult if not impossible to answer your question without seeing how you "come across" in person. If you have any video of yourself and want me to critique it (in private or on the thread, either way), feel free to send me a PM with a link.

EDIT: I just realized you have not written any journal or field reports, e.g. about your dates, that might be helpful both for your own learning process and for others to give more specific feedback. Still I think the main thing at this stage right now is someone experienced needs to evaluate how you come across by either meeting you or seeing video.
 
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Karea Ricardus D.

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Btw I just remembered something else. How you "come across" improves a lot with social momentum. For example when I started getting semi good at daygame and got laid kinda regularly, @Levo was out with me one day and said I had too much player vibe.

The way he described it was... "you go into set like yo I fuck a lot of chicks." But, how do you fix that? It fixed itself just from getting more experience, momentum, my vibe got more solid and less playerish. More normal and chill (core part of the X-Factor articles in my sig too).

In other words, many problems solve themselves by getting a lot more social experience. I still recommend the process I typed up for you half a year ago in terms of building out your social life 2-4 times a week, or as much as time permits.
 

ulrich

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Oct 21, 2019
Messages
1,650
The way he described it was... "you go into set like yo I fuck a lot of chicks." But, how do you fix that? It fixed itself just from getting more experience, momentum, my vibe got more solid and less playerish. More normal and chill (core part of the X-Factor articles in my sig too).
I can attest to this.

The moment you stop feeling like you have something to prove, your presence improves tenfold and you start having much much nicer reactions.

No advice there, though. You have to go through the ropes and live it.
 
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