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bobbyb112

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 5, 2017
Messages
52
With the girl from the other day, I texted to see if she would meet up again. She seemed like she might, but then potentially pushed into the week. I gave her an out, to do a later day. This was a mistake, because you don't want to give her an option to push it out farther, because she will likely take it. I'm kicking myself that I made this mistake. But oh well. We will see if she comes out again.

I am glad that she generally wanted to meet up again, because most times in the past when I had escalated but not had sex, the girl wouldn't want to meet up again. Moreover, I felt like I was responding to her emotions and what she was feeling better, which is good, because if you are more in tune with what she is feeling, then you proceed along the dance of seduction at the speed that she wants, while leading, instead of bulldozing your way forward without regard to what she is feeling.

This is good. I am feeling more of what is going on in the seduction, rather than just bowling forward and relying on a vague sense of timing. When you can see the sub-steps, and hit the escalation windows, as Chase says, by listening to what the girl is telling you, you can make it a smooth process for her. This leads to smooth seductions, where nothing feels forced, and you proceed forward at a nice speed.

With the girl the other day, when she was talking, I sort of let her go on and on. This is okay, because she was investing quite a bit, and telling my important things about her life. But also, I needed to take control of the conversation a little bit, to hit on the high or emotional points. And also get her used to following my lead, even if she was already going to go there. So next time, I want to make sure to lead the conversation and not just let her go on and on. This will also help it transition into sexual topics better, because you can get the needed parts in emotional connection stage, and then be ready to switch into sexual topics.

On another note, it is winter in my city, and it seems like girls are going out less for dates and whatnot. This is to be expected. During the winter things slow down a bit. But, there are still girls out there. And when the warmer weather comes, which is soonish, it'll be better.
 

bobbyb112

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 5, 2017
Messages
52
I had a date the other night.

We met up for drinks. Talked. Eventually went back to mine. Escalated. Messed around. Closed the deal. She seemed happy upon leaving, and texted the next morning.

I used Chase's 8 questions to ask on a date. These were helpful, because they are great jumping off points for different aspects about her. Like childhood, things she likes, travel. Then, the ones about adventures and spontaneity help transition the conversation into more exciting or sexual areas. The conversation never really got very "sexual". But using these latter questions set the frame as more exciting, and me approving of that.

My vibe was decent. I was in a somewhat decent vibe after talking to people for a sales gig during the day. In the non-surprise of the century, doing sales helps with seduction. Shocker. If nothing else, because it forces you to get comfortable talking to people. Although you do have to work on your sexual vibe, in addition to your general ability to talk to people.

I want to continue to use Chase's questions, because they give you a good amount of conversation fodder. It also helps you steer and drive the conversation, so she isn't going off on unproductive tangents. I also had her show me her jewelry, like earrings and rings. This was good compliance. Also, transitioning it into more exciting and adventurous topics frames you as exciting and sexy, which is a good frame to have.
 

bobbyb112

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 5, 2017
Messages
52
I had a tale of two dates this week.

The first, we met up and had a drink. The big mistake I made, was to sort of slouch with my posture forward. This poor posture is something that is easy to fall into, especially if you have been sitting at a desk all day. This meant that despite my witty conversation, it didn't "land", because she couldn't feel my masculine power or energy, because I was sort of slouched in my seat. Posture is important.

The next day, I had a date with a different girl. I recognized that the posture was a big thing I had messed up on the first date, and I corrected it. I sat with my lower back straight. This led to more scintillating conversation, and her investing way more. It felt like we were old friends talking, instead of two people who don't know each other trying to get to know each other.

On the first date, she seemed like she liked me, but I invited her back and she gave a naw answer. The second date, when I invited her back, she said sure. By the time we got back, I kissed her within the first 5 minutes, and it was game on from there.

This posture thing is something I recognized over the previous dates I went on, which should be in this thread. In the first there, my posture was slouched, and I just barely made it happen. In the second, my posture was great, and we felt connected and the deal ended up closing. Lesson learned. Posture is vitally important. Even when you're sitting down.

Another thing I've been working on in my process is turning things more sexual. Sexual topics. After the deep diving. I did this somewhat, where we touched on some more sexual topics, lightly. I still have to work on this. But it was enough, because it got her thinking about things. As far as the "decision" stage, where she shifts into a lower gear and is making her decision, I can't say I observed this very well. I'm sure it happened, I just didn't have an eye to notice it well enough. That's something to look out for in the future.

The second date, it just felt so much more fun and connected (for lack of a better word), which is good. I can't say I enjoyed the first date. It just felt too forced. Whereas the second felt free and flowing. This is nice for me, because it is fun for me to be a part of. And having fun is half the battle, right?

Another thing I want to work on is sexing the woman well. Not to be overly objective-oriented, how can I make her cum? How can I make sure it's a great experience for her? This is something I want to do well.

I've tried adapted missionary for a while. I go for a while, focusing on the rhythm, and all the stuff in the "make her orgasm in 8 minutes or less" article. But I can't say I've seen the girl have a ton of screaming orgasms. It's been alright, but maybe I'm doing it wrong. Anyone have any insights?

Takeaways: Posture-sit and stand up straight, with your lower back. Process-turn it sexual somehow.
 
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bobbyb112

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 5, 2017
Messages
52
I was ruminating on texting, and how to handle when the girl tries to get into a texting conversation after you've set the first date logistics.

I've had several first dates where we set the time/place, great, then she tries to engage in text conversation. Usually with things like "how are you?" "how was your day?" "what are you up to?" "where are you from?" "what do you do for work?".

My instinct, and someone can tell me if I'm wrong, is that engaging in conversation over text, especially before a first date, is just going to kill intrigue, give her reasons not to meet up, and nothing good can come from it. Moreover, I don't like "talking" via text because I am busy doing other things. So what do you do?

You can't ignore it, because that just makes you seem like too much of a dick. You don't want to get into deep conversation. You do want to communicate that 1. you are busy 2. you won't be able to "chat" over text 3. but you're looking forward to meeting her in person. So, a few different times, I did this: I used the intrigue frame.

My replies were along the lines of "busy busy", "it's complicated", "it's long story", or "just working, kicking ass and taking names". What is good about these responses is 1. they are short, implying you are busy 2. intriguing, implying there is an interesting story behind it 3. you'll talk more when you meet up, but over text you won't be able to chat too much.

The handful of times I have used these responses, they worked. I got the girl out on the date, and sometimes we had sex. But the point is, that I didn't lose the date before we met up, and handled the potential no-benefit time-suck of chatting via text, in a smooth, low-effort, calibrated, high-value way.

If she doesn't get the hint, then you can use something more explicit, like "let's save the deep conversation for when we talk in person". But I haven't had the chance to try that one, yet.

I'm curious what others think about as far as texting after you've set plans, but before you meet up. Another objection I've gotten during this stage is "what is your IG?", as in, she wants to see that I am real, I suppose. I don't have IG, so how do I handle that? I have tried a few things, but curious if anyone has better thoughts on that.
 

Higher

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 17, 2022
Messages
131
you make plans via text with a new girl, then she asks "how are you?" or "how's your day been?" or something like that, how do you respond?

As you already said, I'd just reply with a short sentence conveying some kind of value, then I'd ask her likewise and do a quick flirt/playful tease on her response so as to close the thread. No need for long convos at this stage, but for sure I would not ignore it.

As for IG I'd just tell her, I don't have IG, I know, I'm weird.

EDIT: didn't read your latest post when writing this. I modified this post accordingly.
 

bobbyb112

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 5, 2017
Messages
52
@Higher
Great advice, thanks Higher. Yeah, I deleted the older short post when I wrote the longer one this morning. But your advice is spot on.

I swear, I feel autistic asking some of these questions sometimes. But yeah just keeping it light and flirty and short seems like the way to go. Appreciate it.
 

bobbyb112

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 5, 2017
Messages
52
I went on a date the other day.

We met outside one place. I wanted to try a different place, so we went there. Had drinks the bar. We sat at bar stools, which I don't love, because they are kind of hard to sit on. Also, you end up shifting around on them a lot. But oh well, it worked out.

Talked. I teased her quite a bit, which seemed to work, although it wasn't super sexual or anything. Talked about some sex topics a little bit. She was one of those nervous/excited girls, who didn't really have a very "sensual" mode. So although we talked about sexual topics and touched, she didn't really pick up on the vibe necessarily. More just smile and go along with it. We did talk about tattoos, which is a good sexual topic. Regardless, I asked if she wanted to grab a drink at my place and she said sure. We went back, kissed, and closed the deal.

After sex, she said she had to use the bathroom. From there, she put on her clothes, and left. It was chill, but still kind of abrupt. I asked if she had to go and she said yes, she had to make dinner, and pick up her dog. I guess this is fine. It was a little weird, still, though. Like I said, abrupt.

My plan is to try to see her again, but who knows if she will or not. We'll see. My guess is not, but we'll see.
 
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