Manchild - Information Overload - nihilism

[Spyce D]

I don't know if it was due to me smoking a lot and not sleeping + seeing my grandmother dying , around an year ago ... That lead me to the path of pessimistic nihilism .

Maybe it's due to me living a really comfortable life .

Maybe , after I had an HIV obsession that lead to existential dreads .

Maybe , it's due to consuming lot of unnecessary information about stuff that don't matter.

Then , recently , I haven't been able to go out a lot .
Mostly , spending my days at home .

I am not able to fully recover from nihilism and it's been really a motivation killer . ( And then there are weird intrusive thoughts in the bonus ) .

Funny enough , I even met some guys who were nihilist which further increased it .

Now , it's not like I am completely buried under it but it comes in waves , mostly when it feels like I am not anything substantial about my life .

Makes me wonder that I never feel nihilistic while in the field.

Could it just be cuz of my subconscious mind forcing me to push forward to my "destiny" in life .

Like , there is also a lingering feeling that I am still a manchild who can't survive without external support , whether it's from parents , women , wings etc.

It seems like these feelings are triggering my nihilism .

And there is a desire inside me that's getting stronger and stronger to change for better .... And everytime , I try to chill out without working on meaningful stuff , weird thoughts creeps in .

Surely , there must be a way where I could just not do anything and won't be having to deal with all this B.S.

But , it seems like luxurious life isn't really my cup of tea , anymore .

Anyways , whether it's via supplements like Vitamin B12 , staying more around women , pursuing my deepest goals .... All this Maya ( translation : illusion ) of nihilism will fade away .

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

Yes that's Maya! I've been there believe it or not... have you tried or considered doing an Ayahuasca ceremony? For hard cases of feeling "stuck" (especially mentally, emotionally) I've found nothing else comes close in effectiveness, and it's natural. (Certain precautions need to be taken, feel free to PM if you want to know details.)

 

[Zoro]

The mind is a double edge sword, it’s a tool, that can be useful and harmful.

When you’re overthinking, it’s best to simplify, and take action.

People tend to overestimate their ability to predict what will happen, and make general assumptions that are not true.

Life can be SUPER awesome, but it’s hard to connect with that when you’re stuck in a cycle of thoughts that focus on the problems in your life and the world.

I would do these two things.

1. Meditate so you can calm your mind and disconnect from those thoughts.

2. Figure out what you want, and what the very next step is towards that. Just take some action, and do your best to make that a habit.

The mind is powerful, and so when a man lets his mind rule him, he gets unbalanced. He needs action, he needs experience, he needs inspiration, sensations, resistance, competition, etc. basically a regular meaningful interaction with the real world to balance out his internal world.

 

[Teevster]

Maybe , after I had an HIV obsession that lead to existential dreads .

I have had that too (considering I actually got falsely diagnosed as hiv+). The solution is Prep.

-Teevster

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

HIV scandal:

The House Of Numbers ARCHIVE 2009 - scandale du VIH

IL EST IMPÉRATIF DE TRANSPOSER CE DOCUMENTAIRE À LA SITUATION QUE NOUS VIVONS. The House of Numbers est un film documentaire américain controversé de 2009 au sujet du virus de l'immunodéficience humai...

odysee.com

 

[Spyce D]

I have had that too (considering I actually got falsely diagnosed as hiv+). The solution is Prep.

-Teevster

I mean I can understand that feeling .

But , in my case , a funny thing happened , I started feeling " symptoms " just after losing my virginity . I am talking 10 minutes here . And why is that ?

The stupid thing that I will confess here is that before I had sex I was worried if I could get it up or not ( OCD tier thoughts were going through my mind ) . Stuff like hocd was also in my mind .

Gaming with HOCD

HOCD - Homosexuality obsessive compulsive disorder. (Note: I may be contradicting myself in this post .so , bear with me please) As i have been getting rid of my fears in life and doing a lot of meditation as well as going out to meet girls . I have realised that the source of my fears /...

www.skilledseducer.com

But , after I had sex with the girl .

My thoughts went " Ok fine , you ain't gay . But you are HIV + for sure " .

And damn , that fucked my next 2 dates .

But , Now , these thoughts are manageable .

 

[Skills]

I am the happiest person I know.... never met someone like me even under terrible changing circumstances...so I will give you some water wet stuff.... Do not consume negative media, including red and black pill or if you get on some weird algorithm of negativity you may have to delete and reinstall apps.... Cheech your hormones if you are low t and supplement sink, vitamin d, magnesium...go to the gym or do some type of activity, don't compare yourself to others just to yourself.

Book wise the only book I can think of that I got at early age is how to stop worrying and start living by dale carnage.. second, good bye things, fumio forgot last name....

 

[Teevster]

But , in my case , a funny thing happened , I started feeling " symptoms " just after losing my virginity . I am talking 10 minutes here . And why is that ?

Purely psychological. A word of advice - do not ever consider symptoms as signs for HIV unless you get some insanely crazy rash on your body a few weeks after sex - and even then it can be something else (usually hives - worst case scenario likely syphilis).

HIV symptoms are very general. In 99% of the time, you most likely have a light cold. Also stress do cause real physical symptoms (including rashes)

HIV is a matter of testing. They are very performant. Anything else but testing is irrelevant.

Here is a legit tip though:
A 4th gen (AG/AB) is legit from 2 weeks on (because it can spot antigen, which is visible from 2 weeks on). A test is however conclusive at 6 (for reasons I won't get into here).

In case you get an HIV scare, you don't need to wait 6 weeks, but can test after 2 weeks. If it comes out negative you can be very sure you are negative. You will have to test AGAIN 2-3 weeks later to confirm, but very very rarely will that test turn positive if tested negative after 2-3 weeks.

If you are really scared you can also supplement the test with a RNA NAAT test (pricey though). This on top of an antigenic test give pretty legit (although not conclusive) results. If both negative, then your problem is most likely in your head.

Also when you get tested they sometimes give you the results a week later. My experience is that if there is anything they call you long before that - usually after 2-3 days. Basically if you don't hear anything within the 2-3 next working days, then they are very likely negative.

Best,
Teevster

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

In case my previous post was a bit too cryptic, and I'll just put this out there for everyone to do their own research, I'm not going to debate it... much less on a pickup forum:

HIV is on par with covid. If you have faith in the covid narrative and the respective vaccines and meditations, take the HIV preventatives and meds also.

If on the other hand you question the covid narrative in any way whatsoever, you may want to dig a little into the HIV narrative as well. The same people, institutions and even tests are behind both of these "infectious diseases".

This will be my last post on this thread, it's not a topic to be argued about on a pickup forum. But if anyone smell a rat and want further info, feel free to send a PM.

 

[Teevster]

In case my previous post was a bit too cryptic, and I'll just put this out there for everyone to do their own research, I'm not going to debate it... much less on a pickup forum:

HIV is on par with covid. If you have faith in the covid narrative and the respective vaccines and meditations, take the HIV preventatives and meds also.

If on the other hand you question the covid narrative in any way whatsoever, you may want to dig a little into the HIV narrative as well. The same people, institutions and even tests are behind both of these "infectious diseases".

This will be my last post on this thread, it's not a topic to be argued about on a pickup forum. But if anyone smell a rat and want further info, feel free to send a PM.

It is true that the tests from the old assays where questionable. Not so much these days. Also Western Blot used in this video is rarely used for confirmation. You can now do DNA tests with much better results.

The go to 4th gen test is also very sensitive and reliable. There is a possibility of false positive and usually this is due to the tests being overly sensitive and may react on something else, including other viruses. This is why a diagnosis has to be done though a confirmatory test, and then a qualitative and quantitative test.

Also tests taken at the wrong time, outside the window period or during the eclipse period can give false reactive or false negatives, as well as indeterminate results. Fortunately, with 4th gen, this problem is more or less solvable quickly, since it combines AG and AB - so usually a follow-up test clarifies thing. You can also do an AG test with enhancement. If still questionable, NAAT-tests and DNA tests will give conclusive results.

Things have evolved since the time of the video. In my case, my false positive was due to the lab fucking up by swapping my test with somebody else.

-Teevster

 

[Spyce D]

Purely psychological. A word of advice - do not ever consider symptoms as signs for HIV unless you get some insanely crazy rash on your body a few weeks after sex - and even then it can be something else (usually hives).

Yup . I actually talked about this with a doctor and the advice was similar that sometimes the " symptoms " are not actually symptoms . And I am glad , I never had rashes , though .

In 99% of the time, you most likely have a light cold.

Thats the worst thing cuz seasonal flu is quite common here .... So , at that time , for me ... Every small thing felt like the beginning of hiv . ( It was before I met with the doctor ) .

Anyways , I also talked about this with a psychologist ... And he told me that he had had patients who were terrified of getting hiv via anything sharp .

One patient had even outright asked him if doc was putting something sharp on his desk cuz he was afraid of getting hiv .


Tbh , I seems to have a contamination OCD . Felt the same during covid wave too ... That I was getting infected with covid .

 

[Spyce D]

In my case, my false positive was due to the lab fucking up by swapping my test with somebody else.

That sucks for the other guy . NGL .

 

[Teevster]

Anyways , I also talked about this with a psychologist ... And he told me that he had had patients who were terrified of getting hiv via anything sharp .

Very unlikely to happen as the virus dies quickly when exposed to air.

We are talking minutes.

So chill

-Teevster

 

[Spyce D]

Very unlikely to happen as the virus dies quickly when exposed to air.

We are talking minutes.

So chill

-Teevster

True .

But , that's phobia for you .

 

[Teevster]

BTW you do know that if you get the scares after sex, you can go see a doctor right away, discuss it, and if at risk start taking PEP - a treatment post-exposure that makes you not get HIV (not 100% if you do happen to be exposed, but pretty efficient though).

Keep in mind though that PEP is a 1 month treatment with pretty heavy antiretrovirals. But nevertheless you should be aware of the option and usually it will be prescribed by an expert who usually have a pretty good judgement on whether you truly are at risk or not.

PreP is probably a good option for you. Read up on it. I recommend the 2-1-1 option (2 pills at least 2 hours before sex, then a pill approx 24 hous later, and another 48 hours later and you more or less cannot get HIV).

Best,
Teevster

 

[Spyce D]

BTW you do know that if you get the scares after sex, you can go see a doctor right away, discuss it, and if at risk start taking PEP - a treatment post-exposure that makes you not get HIV (not 100% if you do happen to be exposed, but pretty efficient though).

Keep in mind though that PEP is a 1 month treatment with pretty heavy antiretrovirals though. But you should be aware of the option and usually it will be prescribed by an expert who usually have pretty good judgement on whether you truly are at risk or not.

Best,
Teevster

Damn .

Thanks man for all this .

Like , I hope that I never get to use this advice in future but for definitely a big help for whoever is in need of this advice .

 

[Teevster]

Damn .

Thanks man for all this .

Like , I hope that I never get to use this advice in future but for definitely a big help for whoever is in need of this advice .

Here is a tip: get tested for petty STI (chlam, gono etc) regularly as making sure you do not carry them reduces your risks of catching HIV drastically. Having bacterial STI is mostly not dangerous, but it opens the floodgate for other nasty stuff.

Hence, in case you needed to make sense of the the "testing as prevention", then here is the logic behind it.

Also get the hepatitis B jab if you haven't already.

Best,
Teevster

 

[Spyce D]

Here is a tip: get tested for petty STI (chlam, gono etc) regularly as making sure you do not carry them reduces your risks of catching HIV drastically. Having bacterial STI is mostly not dangerous, but it opens the floodgate for other nasty stuff.

Understood .

Also get the hepatitis B jab if you haven't already.

Maybe , like I don't remember .

I have to check .

 

[Skills]

Just lol lay count 1.... And worried about hiv brah, not going to say autistic or retarded, but start by at least reading the book or audiobook on how to stop worrying and start living of dale carnagie....

Also you may be coping aka using different weird excuses to self savotage banging women..... If i don't have hiv (i have fucked everything that walked for years usually no condom) you won't get it either.... is very low odds to get hiv dude....

@Teevster you really must be trolling advising prep to a dude of lay count of 1, just lol...

 

[Spyce D]

Just lol lay count 1.... And worried about hiv brah, not going to say autistic or retarded, but start by at least reading the book or audiobook on how to stop worrying and start living of dale carnagie....

I won't disagree but fear makes you believe weird stuff . Btw , my lay count is 4 .

Also you may be coping aka using different weird excuses to self savotage banging women.....

How am I coping when I still went out and approached women and dated while still dealing with this shit . Cuz I knew it was just a fear but it was a fear that consumed me .

Like I would be on the date but my mind would be somewhere else .

If i don't have hiv (i have fucked everything that walked for years usually no condom) you won't get it either.... is very low odds to get hiv dude..

Thats really good to hear .

Tbf , this fear started around September and ended in October itself .

No such fear now .

But this fear increased my nihilism which I had gotten rid of for the most part