Manhattan Solo DG
- Joined
- Feb 14, 2025
- Messages
- 106
Approach 8 + 3#close (DG)
As I said in my last report, my macro approach-momentum is in a good place, and getting better. Currently, it's fairly simple for me to approach 6+ per session. Ideally, 10+ per session is where I want to be. I could have done it today but a little lazy and wanted to put my attention on the conversations, as this is kind of where my sticking points are at the moment, so let's talk about that real fast...
Where I'm at in my daygame progression after taking years off and getting back into it is I feel like I'm at the point where I can start collecting more numbers, but they have been flaking. What this tells me is the approach and conversation/connection is lacking. Therefore, today I wanted to go out and focus on my conversation while in set.
I decided to abandon the LDM stacking and so many observational statements and just be more in the moment and forget all the rules and try to focus on the conversation and go off that. I think, for me, it was better today for me to do this. I feel like when I'm trying to converse with the LDM model I'm in my head thinking about it, not really connecting on the conversation, on the topics, not really flowing, etc., and the girls can feel that, and it probably seems strange. Instead, when the girl said something I focused on that, what might be interesting about that topic and what I might want to say about it, and where I could add some things related to me about it -- it's hard for me to put into words here, but I guess you can say it's much more natural and not worrying about structure. I try to focus on her and lead when it's needed to carry the conversation. This seemed to work well today and nearly all the girls were planted, and we had fairly long conversations.
I can talk about this forever, but it'll just get convoluted, so I'll try to keep the conversation part there. Essentially, I'm trusting in my conversational faculties. For me, thankfully, I think I already know instinctively when to tease, challenge, story tell, ask questions, etc., because there are clear parts in the conversation that ask for it; you can sense it.
Also, my ability to converse off cold-approach is getting better because my AA is almost gone. Like, today, I didn't really have any AA. I did have some excuses of laziness or "she's not hot enough" or "I don't want to jog after her", but not really being scared of approaching or what to say. The only reason it's this way is because of the work I've put in since February. Momentum is real. Desensitization is real. Progression is real. It all adds up.
Also, I have put a lot of my realization in "approach-momentum" while out--it's one of the reasons why approaching 10+ per session is important, because variance; because approach-momentum literally increases your vibe, your confidence, your ability to converse PER SESSION, so it's like a meter that builds the more you approach. I kept this in mind today, and it seemed to be true. Conversely, when you aren't approaching while out you get negative momentum, and it puts you more in your head and kills any positive momentum while out. These things are real and you should pay attention to it.
Once again, currently, I think I'm entering the phase in my progression where I'm on top of my AA, my approach counts are pretty good, and now I'm in the phase of working on getting solid numbers. This is basically my focus now: conversations, and making numbers more solid. If I can make numbers more solid by having better interactions/connections while in set, I can then focus on dates.
It's great timing too because the weather is warming up and girls bodies are on display, and it's the season for daygame here in the city!
Personally, I think of the 3 numbers I collected today, 2 were somewhat forced, and one was pretty good...
The other thing is going for stronger number closes--instead of asking for coffee for one of them I just said, we should grab coffee sometime, and while I was saying that I was grabbing my phone as if she was going to give me her number, and it worked. I also persisted more on some conversations, and that led to longer conversations and a number close. So persistence and stronger number closes might be something I'll do more, will see.
As I said in my last report, my macro approach-momentum is in a good place, and getting better. Currently, it's fairly simple for me to approach 6+ per session. Ideally, 10+ per session is where I want to be. I could have done it today but a little lazy and wanted to put my attention on the conversations, as this is kind of where my sticking points are at the moment, so let's talk about that real fast...
Where I'm at in my daygame progression after taking years off and getting back into it is I feel like I'm at the point where I can start collecting more numbers, but they have been flaking. What this tells me is the approach and conversation/connection is lacking. Therefore, today I wanted to go out and focus on my conversation while in set.
I decided to abandon the LDM stacking and so many observational statements and just be more in the moment and forget all the rules and try to focus on the conversation and go off that. I think, for me, it was better today for me to do this. I feel like when I'm trying to converse with the LDM model I'm in my head thinking about it, not really connecting on the conversation, on the topics, not really flowing, etc., and the girls can feel that, and it probably seems strange. Instead, when the girl said something I focused on that, what might be interesting about that topic and what I might want to say about it, and where I could add some things related to me about it -- it's hard for me to put into words here, but I guess you can say it's much more natural and not worrying about structure. I try to focus on her and lead when it's needed to carry the conversation. This seemed to work well today and nearly all the girls were planted, and we had fairly long conversations.
I can talk about this forever, but it'll just get convoluted, so I'll try to keep the conversation part there. Essentially, I'm trusting in my conversational faculties. For me, thankfully, I think I already know instinctively when to tease, challenge, story tell, ask questions, etc., because there are clear parts in the conversation that ask for it; you can sense it.
Also, my ability to converse off cold-approach is getting better because my AA is almost gone. Like, today, I didn't really have any AA. I did have some excuses of laziness or "she's not hot enough" or "I don't want to jog after her", but not really being scared of approaching or what to say. The only reason it's this way is because of the work I've put in since February. Momentum is real. Desensitization is real. Progression is real. It all adds up.
Also, I have put a lot of my realization in "approach-momentum" while out--it's one of the reasons why approaching 10+ per session is important, because variance; because approach-momentum literally increases your vibe, your confidence, your ability to converse PER SESSION, so it's like a meter that builds the more you approach. I kept this in mind today, and it seemed to be true. Conversely, when you aren't approaching while out you get negative momentum, and it puts you more in your head and kills any positive momentum while out. These things are real and you should pay attention to it.
Once again, currently, I think I'm entering the phase in my progression where I'm on top of my AA, my approach counts are pretty good, and now I'm in the phase of working on getting solid numbers. This is basically my focus now: conversations, and making numbers more solid. If I can make numbers more solid by having better interactions/connections while in set, I can then focus on dates.
It's great timing too because the weather is warming up and girls bodies are on display, and it's the season for daygame here in the city!
Personally, I think of the 3 numbers I collected today, 2 were somewhat forced, and one was pretty good...
The other thing is going for stronger number closes--instead of asking for coffee for one of them I just said, we should grab coffee sometime, and while I was saying that I was grabbing my phone as if she was going to give me her number, and it worked. I also persisted more on some conversations, and that led to longer conversations and a number close. So persistence and stronger number closes might be something I'll do more, will see.
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- Joined
- Feb 15, 2023
- Messages
- 72
Yes, exactly. And I totally get it - seems like half the time the girl I find attractive is crossing the street coming at me from the opposite direction as I'm crossing, or is returning the shopping cart at the supermarket in a busy area.But I think I see what you’re saying, in that if I focus on more casual social areas I likely won’t get so much blowouts. You might be right
- Joined
- Feb 14, 2025
- Messages
- 106
Approach 9 + 1 #close (DG)
Approaches:
1. Spanish girl who didn't speak any English. Was good because I was communicating with my body language and getting feedback
2. Fast walking girl near flatiron. Seemed in a rush didn't want to persist too long
3. White girl fast walking Soho. Had to jog to approach. She was in rush to meeting. Tried to close quickly because of this. BF deflection
4. Asian girl in short skirt. Nice legs. Approached. She seemed keen. Took her number. She was responsive to initial text.
5.White girl in business skirt attire. Seemed a little too busy to want to converse
6. Hot girl walking very fast. Bf deflection
7. Dreamy Miami girl leaving tomorrow. No to coffee because of this
8. Pretty Latino girl. Someone in front of her as I went to approach, so didn't really kill her momentum. Didn't really stop and excused herself
9. Asian girl from San Fran. Here a couple more days. No to coffee invite
Notes for the day:
1. Feeling very comfortable today. Felt well-rested. Little to no AA.
2. Not even thinking about the LDM in set. I'm just riffing in the conversation, and it seems to be going well. I am much more comfortable and my opens are much better and getting girls to stop, react positively, and conversations are more invested. Probably going to ditch the LDM from here on out, unless I see a pattern of bad interactions. In the past when I was getting consistent dates I didn't really use the LDM either, and I was doing fine. There are basics of conversation, and I don't think I need it IF i'm getting results, but it is a little early yet to tell because I just got over the AA and approach count plateau I was having. Going to see how my newfound comfort and conversations help with phone numbers and flakiness--this will take some time for feedback. Personally, I think when you are comfortable approaching and getting in conversations with women in general, then things start to work for you. The main problem, at least for me, is when I am NOT confident or comfortable and it derails everything. So now I'm interested to see how things turn out for me now that I'm getting very comfortable again.
3. I keep saying it, but momentum is CRUCIAL when it comes to cold-approach. I'm literally riding momentum, since I've been going out since February. It's reached a nice point mentally for me. If I keep going it should get better unless I allow rejections to somehow ruin my psyche (will take a lot for that to happen).
4. Hit-and-run compliments/openers have more power than I ever gave them credit for. I think they can serve you well if you find yourself with situational AA. For example, in stores you can keep doing hit-and-run openers/compliments until you're fairly comfortable, then getting into conversations will be much easier because you've desensitized yourself to opening. It sounds kind of stupid, but don't discredit the power of it. The utility of it is that you can use to when you find yourself in high AA situations, or you want to warm up, and just the momentum of doing it increases your confidence and macro-momentum, etc.
I keep saying this, but eventually I'll likely stop posting here as frequently, mainly because I don't want to be a broken record and I would rather post about significant progress or updates. I also like to keep "the grind" sometimes to myself, probably because I don't feel pressure to share it to the world when it literally is a grind. I keep saying I'll lay off posting, but I enjoy writing and sharing my thoughts. Maybe i'll try to back away from it for a bit and just keep totally self-absorbed unless I make noticeable progress
Approaches:
1. Spanish girl who didn't speak any English. Was good because I was communicating with my body language and getting feedback
2. Fast walking girl near flatiron. Seemed in a rush didn't want to persist too long
3. White girl fast walking Soho. Had to jog to approach. She was in rush to meeting. Tried to close quickly because of this. BF deflection
4. Asian girl in short skirt. Nice legs. Approached. She seemed keen. Took her number. She was responsive to initial text.
5.White girl in business skirt attire. Seemed a little too busy to want to converse
6. Hot girl walking very fast. Bf deflection
7. Dreamy Miami girl leaving tomorrow. No to coffee because of this
8. Pretty Latino girl. Someone in front of her as I went to approach, so didn't really kill her momentum. Didn't really stop and excused herself
9. Asian girl from San Fran. Here a couple more days. No to coffee invite
Notes for the day:
1. Feeling very comfortable today. Felt well-rested. Little to no AA.
2. Not even thinking about the LDM in set. I'm just riffing in the conversation, and it seems to be going well. I am much more comfortable and my opens are much better and getting girls to stop, react positively, and conversations are more invested. Probably going to ditch the LDM from here on out, unless I see a pattern of bad interactions. In the past when I was getting consistent dates I didn't really use the LDM either, and I was doing fine. There are basics of conversation, and I don't think I need it IF i'm getting results, but it is a little early yet to tell because I just got over the AA and approach count plateau I was having. Going to see how my newfound comfort and conversations help with phone numbers and flakiness--this will take some time for feedback. Personally, I think when you are comfortable approaching and getting in conversations with women in general, then things start to work for you. The main problem, at least for me, is when I am NOT confident or comfortable and it derails everything. So now I'm interested to see how things turn out for me now that I'm getting very comfortable again.
3. I keep saying it, but momentum is CRUCIAL when it comes to cold-approach. I'm literally riding momentum, since I've been going out since February. It's reached a nice point mentally for me. If I keep going it should get better unless I allow rejections to somehow ruin my psyche (will take a lot for that to happen).
4. Hit-and-run compliments/openers have more power than I ever gave them credit for. I think they can serve you well if you find yourself with situational AA. For example, in stores you can keep doing hit-and-run openers/compliments until you're fairly comfortable, then getting into conversations will be much easier because you've desensitized yourself to opening. It sounds kind of stupid, but don't discredit the power of it. The utility of it is that you can use to when you find yourself in high AA situations, or you want to warm up, and just the momentum of doing it increases your confidence and macro-momentum, etc.
I keep saying this, but eventually I'll likely stop posting here as frequently, mainly because I don't want to be a broken record and I would rather post about significant progress or updates. I also like to keep "the grind" sometimes to myself, probably because I don't feel pressure to share it to the world when it literally is a grind. I keep saying I'll lay off posting, but I enjoy writing and sharing my thoughts. Maybe i'll try to back away from it for a bit and just keep totally self-absorbed unless I make noticeable progress
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- Joined
- Feb 14, 2025
- Messages
- 106
I love DG. It’s becoming fun and addictive because I am noticing progress, and also because I have high ambitions. My past experiences with it might also help me too because I know it works and it’s both interesting/frustrating I’ve noticeably have regressed, quick significantly. Things are progressing almost exactly like you read about from DG legends like Tom T., etc., and they know because their experience and also from teaching thousands of students infield. Without that knowledge or guidance from others and knowing of this progression, I probably wouldn’t think it was possible, who knows. But damn I love it, even now. Not hard for me to be consistent currently
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2023
- Messages
- 385
This is very important. I also have sometimes run into unnecessarily putting pressure on myself due to wanting to post something "interesting" every time I post on the forums. But yeah the truth is that a lot of legwork goes into this. The dates, the escalation and the pulls are just like the layer of foam on top of the beer.
Documenting the grind can help someone who does not do this, understand how much work one needs to put it in. Also it can help encourage someone who might feel that he is going nowhere because all he sees on the forums are lay reports and all he sees in the YT infields are successful interactions. So I think there is a lot of value in your posts.
- Joined
- Feb 14, 2025
- Messages
- 106
Update:
So I don’t spam the forums, and also because it’s a grind, I’ll likely start posting weekly reports for a bit. Daygame is not going anywhere for me. Im highly motivated and desire much improvement
I’m willing to wing with people, but you must be approaching. I think there are a lot of daygamers in NYC that are fair-weather daygamers, but this has likely always been the case. It’s tough, and you have to enjoy it I think. I struggle with this sometimes too.
It’s both a blessing and a curse for me, but I’ve always been highly introverted and this is why solo Daygame comes very easy for me—I actually prefer it. As far as my skills go, I’m actually doing worse now than I think I ever have in DG, but that’s OK because I’m in it for improvement, and I know what is possible because I’ve done a lot of it for the most part, but this is me being honest. None of that matters though because I am where I am and that’s fine as long as I’m out trying to improve what I can.
So I don’t spam the forums, and also because it’s a grind, I’ll likely start posting weekly reports for a bit. Daygame is not going anywhere for me. Im highly motivated and desire much improvement
I’m willing to wing with people, but you must be approaching. I think there are a lot of daygamers in NYC that are fair-weather daygamers, but this has likely always been the case. It’s tough, and you have to enjoy it I think. I struggle with this sometimes too.
It’s both a blessing and a curse for me, but I’ve always been highly introverted and this is why solo Daygame comes very easy for me—I actually prefer it. As far as my skills go, I’m actually doing worse now than I think I ever have in DG, but that’s OK because I’m in it for improvement, and I know what is possible because I’ve done a lot of it for the most part, but this is me being honest. None of that matters though because I am where I am and that’s fine as long as I’m out trying to improve what I can.
I prefer solo daygame. Most wings I have found did not end up helping me. Most of the time I am alone and I don;t want to rely on anyone to do approaches.Update:
So I don’t spam the forums, and also because it’s a grind, I’ll likely start posting weekly reports for a bit. Daygame is not going anywhere for me. Im highly motivated and desire much improvement
I’m willing to wing with people, but you must be approaching. I think there are a lot of daygamers in NYC that are fair-weather daygamers, but this has likely always been the case. It’s tough, and you have to enjoy it I think. I struggle with this sometimes too.
It’s both a blessing and a curse for me, but I’ve always been highly introverted and this is why solo Daygame comes very easy for me—I actually prefer it. As far as my skills go, I’m actually doing worse now than I think I ever have in DG, but that’s OK because I’m in it for improvement, and I know what is possible because I’ve done a lot of it for the most part, but this is me being honest. None of that matters though because I am where I am and that’s fine as long as I’m out trying to improve what I can.
- Joined
- Feb 14, 2025
- Messages
- 106
Yeah, that’s pretty much how I am too. Wings are good to help with AA, excuses, and to up your approach count if you’re struggling with that. But after that I think you really have to enjoy their company in general, which I’m perfectly happy going solo.
However, if it’s someone interesting and/or very active eventually we meet up I think. I like how you’re in your 50s doing DG. I think that’s really cool!
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- Joined
- Feb 14, 2025
- Messages
- 106
Mind-wank episode #2 - build your "masculine"
Alright, so I lied. I actually want to write something, so here I go...
More mind-wank from yours truly! This is going to be about embracing "the masculine". Not really thought out much, just want to write crap that's on my mind...
It feels cheesy for me to say "the masculine" but it kind of puts it into a nice box for me, so I'm going to role with that for now. It's kind of cool, we as men have this masculine energy within us. I've found ways we increase this energy is by approaching women, pushing our fears, gym, diet, etc. It all comes together. Do these things and when you're infield actually talking to a woman you feel good, you feel powerful and invigorated, excited, full of life and energy, and the girls pick up on this.
It's more than just approaching women. It's a passion; a lust for life. You feel like a primed supercar engine revving. You feel like you can tackle the fucking world. HOW do you get there? By priming yourself, as I mentioned with the things above. Fuck your age, fuck your situation in life--prime yourself by just doing these things and it'll creep in.
Hit the gym. Build your muscle. Get your cardio good. Work on a business you're passionate about. Chase beautiful women. Meet like-minded men who also have this drive and passion. Eat healthy. Get that toned body. Go for a walk in the wilderness and take it in. Meditate. Do some shit you're afraid of. Push your limits. Start that passion project. Quit that shit job. Lust for life. All this builds your "masculinity"--not even sure this is the correct term.
Do these things, and you should notice an automatic improvement in your approaches, your conversations, your reactions from women, your dates, your vibe. You're a supercar revving
/end mind-wank
Alright, so I lied. I actually want to write something, so here I go...
More mind-wank from yours truly! This is going to be about embracing "the masculine". Not really thought out much, just want to write crap that's on my mind...
It feels cheesy for me to say "the masculine" but it kind of puts it into a nice box for me, so I'm going to role with that for now. It's kind of cool, we as men have this masculine energy within us. I've found ways we increase this energy is by approaching women, pushing our fears, gym, diet, etc. It all comes together. Do these things and when you're infield actually talking to a woman you feel good, you feel powerful and invigorated, excited, full of life and energy, and the girls pick up on this.
It's more than just approaching women. It's a passion; a lust for life. You feel like a primed supercar engine revving. You feel like you can tackle the fucking world. HOW do you get there? By priming yourself, as I mentioned with the things above. Fuck your age, fuck your situation in life--prime yourself by just doing these things and it'll creep in.
Hit the gym. Build your muscle. Get your cardio good. Work on a business you're passionate about. Chase beautiful women. Meet like-minded men who also have this drive and passion. Eat healthy. Get that toned body. Go for a walk in the wilderness and take it in. Meditate. Do some shit you're afraid of. Push your limits. Start that passion project. Quit that shit job. Lust for life. All this builds your "masculinity"--not even sure this is the correct term.
Do these things, and you should notice an automatic improvement in your approaches, your conversations, your reactions from women, your dates, your vibe. You're a supercar revving
/end mind-wank
- Joined
- Feb 14, 2025
- Messages
- 106
Weekly recap (4/21/25 - 4/27/25)
I'm not going to go over the approaches per se, but I do want to highlight a couple approaches/interactions, I want to talk about how I feel, and my current goals...
------------------------
1. Daygame has become fun
These last couple weeks, I've noticed a very pleasant change in how I feel doing daygame: I AM ENJOYING IT; I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. So, instead of the, "oh man, another daygame grind today...ugh...rejection...ugh...", I'm like, "dude, I can't wait to go out tomorrow and see how much I've improved. I've got some sticking points, but I'm noticing progress, I feel great, girls are hooking more... man, what is causing all these numbers flaking? I'm not entirely sure, but let's change up the goals this time...OK, 2 numbers per outing is the goal from here on out!" Etc.
Also, I'm noticing I'm enjoying the conversations. I'm enjoying the prowl; the hunt. It's fun!
I blame all this on simply going out consistently, noticing improvements, and feeling comfortable, and looking forward to new progress.
-------------------------
2. Still numbers are flaking, so I'm changing my weekly goals
A) Highlights of the week was an Asian I approached in a short skirt with nice legs. She seemed to stop and give me her attention nicely, and she contributed, but she didn't seem to curious about me. Regardless, I got her number and I thought it was fairly solid. However, the way she was texting said otherwise: she took a while to respond to texts, she had minimal effort put into them, etc., so it basically indicated lack of interest. I knew this while texting her, but I decided to go for the date invite anyway. She didn't respond back. 48 hour roll off. Resurrection text on my part, no response again, I delete her number.
Not sure why this was memorable. Probably because the set seemed to be decent, and initially I thought the number was solid, but then all the signs pointed otherwise. It was a good reminder. This one stung a little more for some reason.
B) Another "highlight" was another Asian girl I approached at dusk on 5th ave. Initially I thought she was prettier before I approached, but as I opened her I realized she was more like a "6". I almost ejected from the set, but she hooked, and it was my first set of the evening, so I stayed in. This interaction showed me that my conversational ability is much better than I think sometimes. Anyway, I took her number and sent her a feeler text, and immediately I get a response, so I think it's 100% solid. On top of that, she texts me out of the blue hours later and says how it was good to meet me and asks how many women I approached that day with emoticons--all indicators of high interest.
This one was memorable because she seemed 1000% interested. The last text she sent me was "how many girls you approach today?". I responded back "I'm too shy to talk to girls "--not quite that, but close to that. Then, surprisingly, she just vanishes after I text her later her plans for the weekend. I roll off only 24 hrs and I do I simple date invite: "Drinks next week?". And still radio silence for her. I delete her number.
It was weird because she seemed so fucking on, and even worse, she was only a 6 lol. This reminded me of how rejections can be the same regardless of a girl's attraction-level. The only reason I can think of why she ghosted was because I think she probably was just digging the attention, but had no real intention of going further for whatever reason.
C) This one was yesterday. I ran some good teasing with a girl about to go inside a shoe store. She was a flight attendant who was actually leaving later that same night, so I decided I should try for the SDL (why not). I take her number under the pretext of meeting soon after for tea nearby, as she was busy shopping for shoes and I wanted to clean up a bit first. Anyway, nothing really special to report, as I was working later that night and I find out she's leaving much earlier than I hoped for (probably should have acted exactly what time she was leaving).
I guess this one was memorable because the teasing, but also because I'm actually very good at spotting SDL girls, but to be honest, the reason I haven't been trying for SDLs was because I'm never prepared (my apartment is a mess, I have some fucking acne breakout on my inner thigh that came out of NOWHERE a couple of weeks ago and now looks like I have some STD or something [I don't, and I really have no idea why the hell I suddenly broke out there, probably clothes I was wearing], so that's fucking embarrassing). So yeah, I haven't been trying to go for SDLs with any girls I thought qualified lately for these reasons, but yesterday I finally was ready I attempted.
Nothing exciting, I realize. But it's really about me seeing small progress and noticing how good I feel about daygaming and interacting with girls lately. It suddenly started feeling this way two weeks ago. It's all due to momentum and approaching and talking to girls since February. If this is the emotional/mental progress I've made since that time, then it's looking very promising moving forward into the near future, I think. And I sincerely feel the comfort aspect I've gained over these last two weeks is a milestone that is essential before moving on to another milestone. It feels like I surpassed the beginner "AA phase" and it's morphed into something wonderful.
New goals:
Once again, because numbers have been flaking so much lately, will be on this until I approve this area. It might sound like a goal that's airy-fiery, but there are practical things I can do, and will try, to make it better.
Anyway, the new goal is 2 numbers per outing. For now, I don't care if they are flaky numbers or solid numbers, and the reason is that it'll help me aim for more number-closes; it'll help me diagnose the interactions more because I'm focused on getting more solid numbers; I can get a bigger data sample over the week of phone numbers and why some responded, why they didn't, etc. Overall, it'll make me a better number-closer, which I think will in itself make things a little more solid because just by repeating this process over and over and getting comfortable and confident in doing it will alone help. Mainly, the bigger data-set is what I'm excited to nerd-out on and diagnose.
Not sure if I'll be able to do it every day, collect 2 numbers. Some days nothing works, and some days things go well. But at least for the days that are going well, I can aim for a certain number of numbers at the end of the week and build them up faster when "things are well" (if that makes sense).
I also think the mere fact that I'm aiming for 2 numbers per outing will automatically increase my approach count, which will be a snowball effect in my vibe, my confidence, my conversations, my closing.
I remember in the past I had a few instances where I was "starting over" with daygame, and I was getting flaky numbers, and then I started to notice a better uptick in responses like flickers of light sporadically, then I noticed not long after numbers were becoming solid again. So it's really interesting. And it's one of those things that might be closely related to "how I feel" and the slow increments of getting better opening, to talking, to closing, to energy. It's like the girls all decide when "I'm ready" for their numbers to stop flaking at once. Curious to see what happens over the next couple of weeks or month if I purely focus on this
I'm not going to go over the approaches per se, but I do want to highlight a couple approaches/interactions, I want to talk about how I feel, and my current goals...
------------------------
1. Daygame has become fun
These last couple weeks, I've noticed a very pleasant change in how I feel doing daygame: I AM ENJOYING IT; I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. So, instead of the, "oh man, another daygame grind today...ugh...rejection...ugh...", I'm like, "dude, I can't wait to go out tomorrow and see how much I've improved. I've got some sticking points, but I'm noticing progress, I feel great, girls are hooking more... man, what is causing all these numbers flaking? I'm not entirely sure, but let's change up the goals this time...OK, 2 numbers per outing is the goal from here on out!" Etc.
Also, I'm noticing I'm enjoying the conversations. I'm enjoying the prowl; the hunt. It's fun!
I blame all this on simply going out consistently, noticing improvements, and feeling comfortable, and looking forward to new progress.
-------------------------
2. Still numbers are flaking, so I'm changing my weekly goals
A) Highlights of the week was an Asian I approached in a short skirt with nice legs. She seemed to stop and give me her attention nicely, and she contributed, but she didn't seem to curious about me. Regardless, I got her number and I thought it was fairly solid. However, the way she was texting said otherwise: she took a while to respond to texts, she had minimal effort put into them, etc., so it basically indicated lack of interest. I knew this while texting her, but I decided to go for the date invite anyway. She didn't respond back. 48 hour roll off. Resurrection text on my part, no response again, I delete her number.
Not sure why this was memorable. Probably because the set seemed to be decent, and initially I thought the number was solid, but then all the signs pointed otherwise. It was a good reminder. This one stung a little more for some reason.
B) Another "highlight" was another Asian girl I approached at dusk on 5th ave. Initially I thought she was prettier before I approached, but as I opened her I realized she was more like a "6". I almost ejected from the set, but she hooked, and it was my first set of the evening, so I stayed in. This interaction showed me that my conversational ability is much better than I think sometimes. Anyway, I took her number and sent her a feeler text, and immediately I get a response, so I think it's 100% solid. On top of that, she texts me out of the blue hours later and says how it was good to meet me and asks how many women I approached that day with emoticons--all indicators of high interest.
This one was memorable because she seemed 1000% interested. The last text she sent me was "how many girls you approach today?
". I responded back "I'm too shy to talk to girls "--not quite that, but close to that. Then, surprisingly, she just vanishes after I text her later her plans for the weekend. I roll off only 24 hrs and I do I simple date invite: "Drinks next week?". And still radio silence for her. I delete her number.It was weird because she seemed so fucking on, and even worse, she was only a 6 lol. This reminded me of how rejections can be the same regardless of a girl's attraction-level. The only reason I can think of why she ghosted was because I think she probably was just digging the attention, but had no real intention of going further for whatever reason.
C) This one was yesterday. I ran some good teasing with a girl about to go inside a shoe store. She was a flight attendant who was actually leaving later that same night, so I decided I should try for the SDL (why not). I take her number under the pretext of meeting soon after for tea nearby, as she was busy shopping for shoes and I wanted to clean up a bit first. Anyway, nothing really special to report, as I was working later that night and I find out she's leaving much earlier than I hoped for (probably should have acted exactly what time she was leaving).
I guess this one was memorable because the teasing, but also because I'm actually very good at spotting SDL girls, but to be honest, the reason I haven't been trying for SDLs was because I'm never prepared (my apartment is a mess, I have some fucking acne breakout on my inner thigh that came out of NOWHERE a couple of weeks ago and now looks like I have some STD or something [I don't, and I really have no idea why the hell I suddenly broke out there, probably clothes I was wearing], so that's fucking embarrassing). So yeah, I haven't been trying to go for SDLs with any girls I thought qualified lately for these reasons, but yesterday I finally was ready I attempted.
Nothing exciting, I realize. But it's really about me seeing small progress and noticing how good I feel about daygaming and interacting with girls lately. It suddenly started feeling this way two weeks ago. It's all due to momentum and approaching and talking to girls since February. If this is the emotional/mental progress I've made since that time, then it's looking very promising moving forward into the near future, I think. And I sincerely feel the comfort aspect I've gained over these last two weeks is a milestone that is essential before moving on to another milestone. It feels like I surpassed the beginner "AA phase" and it's morphed into something wonderful.
New goals:
Once again, because numbers have been flaking so much lately, will be on this until I approve this area. It might sound like a goal that's airy-fiery, but there are practical things I can do, and will try, to make it better.
Anyway, the new goal is 2 numbers per outing. For now, I don't care if they are flaky numbers or solid numbers, and the reason is that it'll help me aim for more number-closes; it'll help me diagnose the interactions more because I'm focused on getting more solid numbers; I can get a bigger data sample over the week of phone numbers and why some responded, why they didn't, etc. Overall, it'll make me a better number-closer, which I think will in itself make things a little more solid because just by repeating this process over and over and getting comfortable and confident in doing it will alone help. Mainly, the bigger data-set is what I'm excited to nerd-out on and diagnose.
Not sure if I'll be able to do it every day, collect 2 numbers. Some days nothing works, and some days things go well. But at least for the days that are going well, I can aim for a certain number of numbers at the end of the week and build them up faster when "things are well" (if that makes sense).
I also think the mere fact that I'm aiming for 2 numbers per outing will automatically increase my approach count, which will be a snowball effect in my vibe, my confidence, my conversations, my closing.
I remember in the past I had a few instances where I was "starting over" with daygame, and I was getting flaky numbers, and then I started to notice a better uptick in responses like flickers of light sporadically, then I noticed not long after numbers were becoming solid again. So it's really interesting. And it's one of those things that might be closely related to "how I feel" and the slow increments of getting better opening, to talking, to closing, to energy. It's like the girls all decide when "I'm ready" for their numbers to stop flaking at once. Curious to see what happens over the next couple of weeks or month if I purely focus on this
Instead of “Drinks next week”, pick a specific place and time.
“Hey - I’ve been meaning to check out this new spot in the village called Chickcrack. Join me at 7pm Tuesday/Wednesday.”
try that. “Drinks next week” tends to genericize you back into “another ambiguous guy texting me”.
don’t go to chickcrack it doesn’t exist.
“Hey - I’ve been meaning to check out this new spot in the village called Chickcrack. Join me at 7pm Tuesday/Wednesday.”
try that. “Drinks next week” tends to genericize you back into “another ambiguous guy texting me”.
don’t go to chickcrack it doesn’t exist.
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No, you’re right. But at that point I was pretty certain she flaked and just wanted to write something to the point, and if she didn’t respond I’d delete her number as it was a resurrection text. In my mind, if the girl was at the least bit interested she would have responded. If I had a girl showing interest via text I would be more detailed and tailored similar to your suggestion. It was a lazy text on purpose and I don’t think it would have mattered either way unfortunately. She knew who I was when she received the message but just decided not to respond twice in a row. I don’t think a more tailored text would have done anything personally
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Mind-wank session #3: What is "attraction" in the LDM?
The following are notes I wrote for myself and thought id share. Feel free to disagree...
I have to write this down because "attraction" in the LDM (London Daygame Model) has always been a nebulous concept to me; I've struggled to really understand it. And while I have Daygame books trying to explain it, it's still sometimes hard to grasp. Therefore, I have to attempt to explain it on my own terms, which is my intention in this post.
Attraction is the tease (teasing a girl) and the challenge (playfully challenging something she says or believes). Teasing and challenging is the "push" (creating attraction) rather than the "pull" (taking value and losing attraction).
Why is attraction important? It's important when cold-approaching because without creating attraction, the girl will feel bored and uninterested, and she will see you as a non-valuable person rather than a valuable person (only valuable people with options and a nonchalant attitude can tease/challenge her). When you spark attraction off the approach, you entertain the girl and get her interested in you and the conversation. Attraction also gives you authority and power if done through teasing and challenging because you will appear strong because you're "pushing her away" rather than "taking from her" by being weak, supplicating, and making her do all the work by answering boring and predictable questions (questions of doom).
Naturally, all the teasing and challenging creates the perfect energy that is flirtatious and makes you look like a strong person, which is attractive. It is this flirtatious energy, mixed with her vision of you as being a valuable person, that puts her at ease and curious about you. On the other hand, if you were to approach without doing any attraction material, she will see you as someone trying to take something from her without giving her any value, much like how a homeless person supplicates and expects money from you for nothing. You must first give and show her value through attraction if you then want an equal playing field where you can then go into rapport, investment, and a solid close.
Holding the attraction, with its tension and strong perception, will give you the leader frame, which will massively help closing for the number, getting the date, and leading to sex. If you lose this attraction, then you will lose her perception that you are a valuable person, and she will begin to see you as a weak and non-valuable person.
This is why understanding what attraction is and how to use it is important. Trying to cold-approach someone without injecting the interaction with attraction first is like a homeless person walking up to you in the street demanding you give them money. You must first inject value through attraction, then you must maintain the attraction throughout.
The following are notes I wrote for myself and thought id share. Feel free to disagree...
I have to write this down because "attraction" in the LDM (London Daygame Model) has always been a nebulous concept to me; I've struggled to really understand it. And while I have Daygame books trying to explain it, it's still sometimes hard to grasp. Therefore, I have to attempt to explain it on my own terms, which is my intention in this post.
Attraction is the tease (teasing a girl) and the challenge (playfully challenging something she says or believes). Teasing and challenging is the "push" (creating attraction) rather than the "pull" (taking value and losing attraction).
Why is attraction important? It's important when cold-approaching because without creating attraction, the girl will feel bored and uninterested, and she will see you as a non-valuable person rather than a valuable person (only valuable people with options and a nonchalant attitude can tease/challenge her). When you spark attraction off the approach, you entertain the girl and get her interested in you and the conversation. Attraction also gives you authority and power if done through teasing and challenging because you will appear strong because you're "pushing her away" rather than "taking from her" by being weak, supplicating, and making her do all the work by answering boring and predictable questions (questions of doom).
Naturally, all the teasing and challenging creates the perfect energy that is flirtatious and makes you look like a strong person, which is attractive. It is this flirtatious energy, mixed with her vision of you as being a valuable person, that puts her at ease and curious about you. On the other hand, if you were to approach without doing any attraction material, she will see you as someone trying to take something from her without giving her any value, much like how a homeless person supplicates and expects money from you for nothing. You must first give and show her value through attraction if you then want an equal playing field where you can then go into rapport, investment, and a solid close.
Holding the attraction, with its tension and strong perception, will give you the leader frame, which will massively help closing for the number, getting the date, and leading to sex. If you lose this attraction, then you will lose her perception that you are a valuable person, and she will begin to see you as a weak and non-valuable person.
This is why understanding what attraction is and how to use it is important. Trying to cold-approach someone without injecting the interaction with attraction first is like a homeless person walking up to you in the street demanding you give them money. You must first inject value through attraction, then you must maintain the attraction throughout.
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Weekly Stats (4/28/25-5/3/25)
Approaches: 50
# numbers: 15
Girls who responded to my first text: 3
Alright, so, as you can see, I'm experiencing an outstandingly bad flake rate from the phone numbers I'm collecting. Of the three girls who responded back, one did so out of politeness, but she wasn't interested. Another responded because she was on vacation in NYC and was experiencing a honeymoon phase with the city. With her, I felt like the number was more friend-to-friend—I actually almost got her out, but I basically messed it up over texts. Her English wasn't great, and I wanted to state my intent so as not to waste time on a "friend date." Then, I ended up texting too much and accidentally called her on WhatsApp by hitting the wrong button, quickly hanging up... lol. It made me look desperate, and given everything, it was just bad. Unsurprisingly, she ghosted me after that.
The third girl tried to take my number when I went for the number close. I told her it felt like a cop-out, so she texted me on the spot saying, "Not a cop-out." But I sincerely feel that if I hadn't said anything, she likely would have taken my number and then not texted me. She basically texted just to make it look like it wasn’t a cop-out, when in reality, it was. Over text, she seemed a little too suspicious, and I could tell her interest was fake. I did the date invite and, as expected, she was gone.
My goal for this week was to see if it was simply a numbers game. Essentially, I wanted to collect around 14 numbers for the week (roughly two per day) and see if collecting more numbers would lead to more responses and more dates. Based on the data, though, it’s clear that it’s not as much of a numbers game as I had hoped. Instead, it seems like I’m forcing numbers—otherwise, all these girls wouldn’t be flaking over the initial texts. Only three girls out of 15 responded to my initial message, further proving that I’m likely forcing it.
This sucks because I’ve clearly overcome my AA since February, and I’m actually getting quite comfortable talking to girls in general. That’s not the problem—it’s still the flaky numbers. The frustrating part is that the girls seem comfortable and contribute fairly nicely in conversations, but it’s likely because I’ve learned how to keep them engaged and eventually close, rather than them authentically wanting to do it themselves.
With that said, I’m not really sure how I’m going to proceed next week, but something needs to change. I have some ideas, which I don’t really want to get into now. Most likely, I’ll shift my focus away from forcing numbers and experiment more with exchanging numbers with girls who genuinely want to chat, instead of forcing it. In other words, if they want to go, let them go. Stop trying to fill empty spaces by carrying the conversation or keeping them engaged through other means—allow them to fill the void because they actually want to. I’m going to think it over and likely try things dramatically differently next week, then see what results I get. I’ll probably end up with way fewer numbers, but my goal isn’t quantity—it's **solid** numbers.
What makes this even more confusing is that I have Excel sheets on my phone from 2016 to 2022, and I have **never** experienced such an issue with flaky numbers before. In fact, getting first dates was pretty straightforward for me through all those years, as shown in my Excel sheets. Back then, it was simply about doing more approaches and, in turn, getting more dates. However, that doesn’t seem to be the case this year, and I **don’t know why.** It’s very odd. Why am I having such a hard time with flaky numbers this year?
The only notes I have from the past say, "The reason I’m getting flaky numbers is because of my vibe," which isn’t particularly useful information. After overcoming AA this year, I feel my vibe is as good as it ever was, yet I’m still dealing with way more flaky numbers.
I don’t know—I’ll experiment next week and see what results I get. I need to brainstorm a bit first on how I’m going to approach it. But clearly, the numbers are flaking **way, way** too much.
When I do find a solution to this problem, I’m definitely going to document it because, apparently, I haven’t learned my lesson from experiencing it in the past.
Also, I probably won’t document anything else here until I start seeing better progress with the flakiness aspect. I still believe there are things I can do that will change things for the better, and that it's not as dire to think that it's out of my control. I just need to go about it differently, which I'll experiment with.
Approaches: 50
# numbers: 15
Girls who responded to my first text: 3
Alright, so, as you can see, I'm experiencing an outstandingly bad flake rate from the phone numbers I'm collecting. Of the three girls who responded back, one did so out of politeness, but she wasn't interested. Another responded because she was on vacation in NYC and was experiencing a honeymoon phase with the city. With her, I felt like the number was more friend-to-friend—I actually almost got her out, but I basically messed it up over texts. Her English wasn't great, and I wanted to state my intent so as not to waste time on a "friend date." Then, I ended up texting too much and accidentally called her on WhatsApp by hitting the wrong button, quickly hanging up... lol. It made me look desperate, and given everything, it was just bad. Unsurprisingly, she ghosted me after that.
The third girl tried to take my number when I went for the number close. I told her it felt like a cop-out, so she texted me on the spot saying, "Not a cop-out." But I sincerely feel that if I hadn't said anything, she likely would have taken my number and then not texted me. She basically texted just to make it look like it wasn’t a cop-out, when in reality, it was. Over text, she seemed a little too suspicious, and I could tell her interest was fake. I did the date invite and, as expected, she was gone.
My goal for this week was to see if it was simply a numbers game. Essentially, I wanted to collect around 14 numbers for the week (roughly two per day) and see if collecting more numbers would lead to more responses and more dates. Based on the data, though, it’s clear that it’s not as much of a numbers game as I had hoped. Instead, it seems like I’m forcing numbers—otherwise, all these girls wouldn’t be flaking over the initial texts. Only three girls out of 15 responded to my initial message, further proving that I’m likely forcing it.
This sucks because I’ve clearly overcome my AA since February, and I’m actually getting quite comfortable talking to girls in general. That’s not the problem—it’s still the flaky numbers. The frustrating part is that the girls seem comfortable and contribute fairly nicely in conversations, but it’s likely because I’ve learned how to keep them engaged and eventually close, rather than them authentically wanting to do it themselves.
With that said, I’m not really sure how I’m going to proceed next week, but something needs to change. I have some ideas, which I don’t really want to get into now. Most likely, I’ll shift my focus away from forcing numbers and experiment more with exchanging numbers with girls who genuinely want to chat, instead of forcing it. In other words, if they want to go, let them go. Stop trying to fill empty spaces by carrying the conversation or keeping them engaged through other means—allow them to fill the void because they actually want to. I’m going to think it over and likely try things dramatically differently next week, then see what results I get. I’ll probably end up with way fewer numbers, but my goal isn’t quantity—it's **solid** numbers.
What makes this even more confusing is that I have Excel sheets on my phone from 2016 to 2022, and I have **never** experienced such an issue with flaky numbers before. In fact, getting first dates was pretty straightforward for me through all those years, as shown in my Excel sheets. Back then, it was simply about doing more approaches and, in turn, getting more dates. However, that doesn’t seem to be the case this year, and I **don’t know why.** It’s very odd. Why am I having such a hard time with flaky numbers this year?
The only notes I have from the past say, "The reason I’m getting flaky numbers is because of my vibe," which isn’t particularly useful information. After overcoming AA this year, I feel my vibe is as good as it ever was, yet I’m still dealing with way more flaky numbers.
I don’t know—I’ll experiment next week and see what results I get. I need to brainstorm a bit first on how I’m going to approach it. But clearly, the numbers are flaking **way, way** too much.
When I do find a solution to this problem, I’m definitely going to document it because, apparently, I haven’t learned my lesson from experiencing it in the past.
Also, I probably won’t document anything else here until I start seeing better progress with the flakiness aspect. I still believe there are things I can do that will change things for the better, and that it's not as dire to think that it's out of my control. I just need to go about it differently, which I'll experiment with.
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EDIT:
The girl who I said "copped-out" just texted me and seems open for coffee but declined the bar invite. I'm still under the impression she's doing it not really because she wants to though given what I said in the last post. I feel like it'll probably be a time-waster date to nowhere. She's too suspicious and is changing date plans, like a feiend-zone attempt. She knows my intentions. I made it very clear of the man-to-woman frame and why I approached her, but still feels like a time waster.
I might go for a quick coffee date and escalate just to see if she turns up on a second date. Make the coffee date quick in a park, do some verbal escalation, minor physical escalation then leave the date after 30 mins or so. Itll basically be a filter on my part to see if she accepts the man-to-woman frame and comes out on the 2nd date, which I doubt she will, but that's how I think I'll proceed with it if we do meet. If she takes the escalation well on the date I might attempt a second venue or a pull to mine, but I think it's unlikely that'll happen.
The girl who I said "copped-out" just texted me and seems open for coffee but declined the bar invite. I'm still under the impression she's doing it not really because she wants to though given what I said in the last post. I feel like it'll probably be a time-waster date to nowhere. She's too suspicious and is changing date plans, like a feiend-zone attempt. She knows my intentions. I made it very clear of the man-to-woman frame and why I approached her, but still feels like a time waster.
I might go for a quick coffee date and escalate just to see if she turns up on a second date. Make the coffee date quick in a park, do some verbal escalation, minor physical escalation then leave the date after 30 mins or so. Itll basically be a filter on my part to see if she accepts the man-to-woman frame and comes out on the 2nd date, which I doubt she will, but that's how I think I'll proceed with it if we do meet. If she takes the escalation well on the date I might attempt a second venue or a pull to mine, but I think it's unlikely that'll happen.
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Notes on numbers flaking:
To get more solid numbers, you need to get numbers from girls who WANT to see you again or who are interested. Otherwise, you'll be forcing numbers on girls who aren't interested and who are far more likely to flake via texts.
Sometimes gauging whether a girl is interested or not can be challenging if she is not giving many signs, but one way to tell if the girl is interested is to see if she has "hooked" or has reached a "hook point" during conversation.
Ways you can tell a girl has reached a hook point:
1. She's planted and not going anywhere, even when there are pauses in the interaction.
2. She is asking you questions to keep the conversation going and to find out more about you—she's trying to build a connection with you.
3. Any IOIs like deep eye contact, crossing her legs, playing with her hair, initiating touch, etc. (see *Street Hustle*, pg. 120).
Knowing this, it might be a good idea to track on an Excel sheet which girls have hooked and which girls did not hook during your daygame sessions. This way, you can understand which numbers are more or less likely to flake via texting.
Also, it may be good practice to persist if the girl looks like she wants to leave and attempt the number close anyway. However, you need to be aware that the number will likely flake, so you should expect this.
Additionally, when going for the number close, don't suggest coffee—suggest drinks (beer/wine, etc.). If she agrees to coffee and you instead do a date invite via text for beer/wine, then she might be more resistant to the drink invite since she initially agreed to coffee. It just makes things easier on you, and it's what you truly want to do anyway.
When you go for the number close, just be upfront and honest so she knows what you want and it's agreed upon: "Well, I gotta go, and you gotta go, but I think you're pretty and I'd like to invite you out for drinks sometime. Is this something you might be interested in?" If she says yes, then take her number. If she says no, then you can say, "OK. Well, I'll send you a text, and if you change your mind, we can meet up. If not, no worries."
To get more solid numbers, you need to get numbers from girls who WANT to see you again or who are interested. Otherwise, you'll be forcing numbers on girls who aren't interested and who are far more likely to flake via texts.
Sometimes gauging whether a girl is interested or not can be challenging if she is not giving many signs, but one way to tell if the girl is interested is to see if she has "hooked" or has reached a "hook point" during conversation.
Ways you can tell a girl has reached a hook point:
1. She's planted and not going anywhere, even when there are pauses in the interaction.
2. She is asking you questions to keep the conversation going and to find out more about you—she's trying to build a connection with you.
3. Any IOIs like deep eye contact, crossing her legs, playing with her hair, initiating touch, etc. (see *Street Hustle*, pg. 120).
Knowing this, it might be a good idea to track on an Excel sheet which girls have hooked and which girls did not hook during your daygame sessions. This way, you can understand which numbers are more or less likely to flake via texting.
Also, it may be good practice to persist if the girl looks like she wants to leave and attempt the number close anyway. However, you need to be aware that the number will likely flake, so you should expect this.
Additionally, when going for the number close, don't suggest coffee—suggest drinks (beer/wine, etc.). If she agrees to coffee and you instead do a date invite via text for beer/wine, then she might be more resistant to the drink invite since she initially agreed to coffee. It just makes things easier on you, and it's what you truly want to do anyway.
When you go for the number close, just be upfront and honest so she knows what you want and it's agreed upon: "Well, I gotta go, and you gotta go, but I think you're pretty and I'd like to invite you out for drinks sometime. Is this something you might be interested in?" If she says yes, then take her number. If she says no, then you can say, "OK. Well, I'll send you a text, and if you change your mind, we can meet up. If not, no worries."