So, update on the girl here who randomly texted me again after a few weeks. We went back and forth for a week - handled it quite well and kept DHVing, framing it as if she was the one chasing me (like, refusing to give her my facebook and jokingly saying that if I did and made it "facebook official", all the other girls would get jealous, which she actually bought into. I then asked her where she was going to put it. "Put what?" "My profile pic - are you putting it on your bedside table or blowing it up and framing it?" Shit like that. She kept laughing and saying she was planning on making a pillowcase out of it. Then I agreed to give her my facebook as long as she didn't get too attached to the pillow and break into my house to get the real thing, or I'd have to start wearing a chastity belt. She responded and I didn't respond for a couple of days - tbh I didn't really care about her anymore.
When I did respond she told me that the night she met me, she had actually had a massive fight with the guy she was seeing and that's why she was out, but that they'd since resolved it. I asked her why she contacted me again then after so many weeks, she told me it just happened recently. And that she was telling me now since they only just resolved it (She sounded hesitant, I doubt it's fully resolved and she's keeping her options open).
Now, I could have tried seeding doubt in her mind and subtly DHLing the boyfriend, but honestly I cbf, especially since I'm not going to be able to get her out because of quarantine. Not worth the effort, I said I hoped it worked out and that she would probably be able to track me down at my house and rip off my chastity belt if it didn't.
Besides that, I've pretty much been focused on my new job and hobbies over the last two weeks. There are a few girls I could be talking to but I honestly cbf due to lockdown - why spend weeks/months/however long it will take for lockdown to lift talking to girls that you may or may not even dig in real life when you finally meet them? I know there are guys out there making it work and bringing girls directly to theirs (I mean I did this two weeks ago but we didn't sleep together), but I feel like it's just not worth the effort and this is a really good opportunity to focus on work and hobbies. So, temporary hiatus on women for me right now, but I'll be back.
So, I've recently started seeing the first signs of MPB. And I saw my brother today for the first time in months and the back of his head has very noticable thinning patches - he's only a year and a half older than me. This really sucks and is confusing because my grandpa on dads side and dad apparently only started losing it later in life, my cousin on my dads side is 10 years older than me and has a full head of hair, and my uncles and granddad on mums side have/had full heads of hair. So I didn't think I'd be dealing with this for a while. Genetics is fucking weird.
I started wondering if lifestyle factors were to blame. I don't eat processed foods and go to the gym consistently (well, did when it was open). But I'm realizing now that even though I don't eat shitty foods, my diet still isn't very varied at all.
I've just bought Minoxidil from the Chemist, going to use that on the thinning spots for the next few months.
In the meantime, I've started looking at clearing up my diet to incorporate foods that not only promote hair growth/prevent hair loss, but also stimulate collagen production, testosterone and that have plenty of nitric oxide (thanks to Mike Silvertrees post here, had no idea what NO did before that but realize now it could help me with my erection issues). So far beetroot and bone broth are two big ones that I don't currently eat but that based on what I've read so far, I will be trying to incorporate as staples. Leafy greens too. I eat a lot of beans and broccoli but not lettuce or rocket (I hate rocket but going to see if I can find a way to make it taste good)
Another post which has been/will be useful in the future on testosterone as you age which Skills wrote, which I'm pinning here so I don't forget about it
I also bought the Examine.com fitness guide a while ago but hadn't used it - this might be a good time to bring it out again. Link here for those who are curious (I'm not affiliated with the company but it's a really good site and well worth checking out if you want no bs information about supplements etc):
This has been an interesting month. First an update on my previous journal entry. The minoxidil seems to be working. At first I thought it was affecting my skin but I think that was the lack of sleep from adjusting to my new work schedule (7:30 starts now). I have been eating more beetroot and bone broth, and have also revamped my supplement stack. I now take two fish oils per day, one multivitamin, one Vitamin D3 and magnesium before bed. Thinking of possibly getting ZMA instead of the magnesium to take before bed. Too early to say all these changes are the cause - there could be other factors involved, but I’m feeling a lot better.
I’ve been taking the time during quarantine to really comb through every part of my life and trying to find ways of fixing areas I’m deficient in. This has even extended as far as streamlining my duties around the home. I’ve had a few embarrassing encounters where women have come over and my place and commented on things that I didn’t even notice (like my oven being dirty or the tags still being on my clothes). My house is usually superficially clean but dig deeper and you find canaries in the coalmine. I realize that a lot of this happens because I get lazy with cleaning because I find it difficult. So I’ve been developing processes to make it super easy to keep on top of everything from cleaning to laundry to organizing my pantry, to prevent myself from falling into bad habits. Just boring shit but this is the perfect time to do it and I’m actually enjoying it.
I’ve also started a personal Trello with different boards for the different aspects of my life that I want to develop. Every time I need to do a task I put it there so I don’t forget about it. I’ve used Trello at my last two jobs and it’s been really useful so I don’t see why it wouldn’t be in my personal life too. And it has already helped me remember a few things that I needed to do. Probably one of the best benefits of it is… now if I’m ever bored, I can just check my Trello board and find 10 things that I’d written down that I need to get done. Simple and effective.
One of the most interesting side effects of doing all of this is.. I’m starting to feel more and more like an actual man. I have been yo-yoing between feeling like my old, out of control scatterbrained self to feeling like I am fully in control which has made the difference even more striking. The more I do, the more I learn, the more in control and attractive I feel.
This actually caused me to make a major life decision a few weeks ago. Three of my friends live 5 minutes down the road, and two of them are moving out within the next month. The last remaining one (one of my best mates whom I lived with for a year and was the best housemate I ever had) wanted me to move in.
A year ago I would have jumped at the chance. But now, I told him no. And that is because I’ve been living independently for the last year (I live with other people but we don’t really hang out) and it has been forcing me to get my shit together. I feel more in control and I feel like a man when I am on my own. As much as I love my mate to death and would love to live with him, I just feel living with him at this point would make me complacent and cause me to fall into old habits. I agonized over the decision for a long time, but decided that it was for the best.
On women, like I said in my previous entries I have put them on hold over the last month, but now that things are slowly returning back to normal I’ve started trying to get out of my shell again. I pussied out of a few approaches I really should have made, but today approached and complimented a tall hot blonde in the hardware store. Short interaction and she thanked me and left immediately, but I’m glad I got the balls to do it. And interestingly, when I approached her I didn’t get that adrenaline rush I got from the first approaches I ever did. It seemed normal, and at the end of it I was unphased, instead of shaking like I used to in the past. Probably a really good thing.
Online, I’ve got a few leads, one in particular is pretty cute and seems very interested so I’m going to see if I can get her out at some point in the next week.
As far as night game is concerned, I know the bars are still closed, but I’m concerned for when they open up again because with my new work schedule I go to bed at 10:30 to wake up at 6:30 (and start feeling like death if I push it). I’m afraid that staying out late on Friday and Saturday will absolutely destroy me if I start doing it consistently. I just started really cutting my teeth with night game before Covid-19 started and was making some progress, so it will really really suck if I can’t stay out late anymore. The thought of having my own business with a flexible schedule is looking more attractive by the day.