Special Girl My crush keeps telling me about her sexual life

[TrailBlazer]

- I’m approaching tons of girls, just so you know that I’m trying to get rid of this crush. -

But anyway, I have a friend of about a year. And since I try to come off as pretty sexually open, she keeps telling me about her sexual experiences and wishes.

First it was about how her boyfriend doesn’t satisfy her at all. I must have used almost all of the sexual gambits and I managed to establish myself as a good lover.

We got closer and a month ago she told me I’m making her nervous and that she keeps thinking about me. Nothing happened though, unluckily I didn’t have the correct vibe to escalate.

Now last week she was at a festival and she apparently had a really good time. When she came back, she kept telling me about all the men she got intimate with (she didn’t say she slept with them but it was pretty clear). Also told me about a threesome thing that happened.

So I don’t know. Last month she was crazy about me and now she talks about these things and it just makes me incredibly frustrated.

She talks about her experiences with pride, because she’s been trying to let go and finally enjoy her life for a long time now. And so I support her (I always encouraged her to go out there and do it).

But on the inside, I hurt a lot. I act sexually free and experienced thanks to the gambits, but I really am not and so I’m incredibly jealous of her now. How do I establish myself as the better lover now?

 

[OldGuy]

Have sex with her (she is practically asking for it). Not all of the men women have told me they were having sex ever got laid by the woman who told me, and one did not get laid to quite a while after she told me she had.

 

[TrailBlazer]

Have sex with her (she is practically asking for it). Not all of the men women have told me they were having sex ever got laid by the woman who told me, and one did not get laid to quite a while after she told me she had.

Thx for the encouragement.

I should sleep with her even now that she has the new guys though? At least one of them has to be real. So is she is satisfied already (2+ guys), why would she need me? I recited the gambits but in reality I’m not that good in sex!

Also I’m genuinely curious, how is she asking for it? My past partners were all very clear - told me they wanted to try kissing me, thought of excuses to come to my house, etc. So that’s my standard. Is this one really asking for it, or is she just sharing her regular life because she’s that open?

And yes we’ve been touching a bit when I did my tantric touch routine and she liked it, but since we’ve known each other for a year, shouldn’t the escalation take weeks/months to build anticipation? She told me she wants this kind of thing!

Thank you.

 

[gameboy]

, shouldn’t the escalation take weeks/months to build anticipation? She told me she wants this kind of thing!

well you've known her for over a year so it's about time!

I should sleep with her even now that she has the new guys though?

yes, absolutely!

 

[TrailBlazer]

well you've known her for over a year so it's about time!

Well yes, although with my past friend crush we extended the escalation over numerous dates where each time I literally got like an inch closer to touching her pussy! And she said it was exciting that way. But this one has more options though. They say attraction has an expiration date but in my experience it doesn’t, so I don’t know whether to move fast or to build romance novel-style paced escalation.

About the new guys she has, I will definitely be compared to them. Also it doesn’t feel good to be one of many. What’s your mindset about this? I’m insecure!

 

[Ratata]

We got closer and a month ago she told me I’m making her nervous and that she keeps thinking about me. Nothing happened though, unluckily I didn’t have the correct vibe to escalate.

I need to slap you.

SLAP!

Jokes aside (or now begins the actual slapping). Listen very carefully: You pussied out. Nothing never didn't just not happen. (Omg does that sentence even compute?) What happened was that you didn't make it happen. Now you've learned the hard way that you have to make it happen.

So... What will you do next time someone says that they keep thinking about you?

That's right: You will make it happen. By escalating. Even if you don't "feel" the correct vibe yet. And even if nothing has "happened" yet (you're the only one who can make things happen mkay). Cuz you're there alone with her for a reason. She put herself in that position - alone with you - to make it easy for you, and now all you have left do to is to man up and do the rest. I.e. escalate. Kiss her. Make it happen.

You were essentially waiting for a perfect moment, and then you pussied out because you didn't get that perfect moment. Well, here's the perfect moment for you. Say "Omg." Then just pull her in and kiss her out of the blue. (You don't actually have to say omg before you kiss her but it can help.) Then give her some excuse like "Sorry, I just had to do that!" Or even better "Omg what are you doing to me?"

But you're afraid. What if she rejects your attempt. Well, then you at least tried. And then at least she has respect for you, cuz you just showed that you've got a pair. Moreover, if you just keep talking as if nothing happened, or just make a slight excuse like "Oh sorry" if you are rejected, then just switch the topic, keep talking and try again later. It's always better to try, and get rejected, than not trying at all. (And if you wait for too long, she'll get pissed off at you for wasting her time, and you don't want that cuz she'll not just get pissed at you - she'll also tell her friends what a waste of time you are.) Bottom line is, you have to make it happen. And not feeling it is just an excuse. And a poor one at that. Remember, she's there alone with you for a reason.

Tho make sure you stay close to her. Always. In situations like that. Because if you are ten metres away from her and suddenly feel the urge to kiss her, then... Man, you'll have to cross a bunch of space to get there, and on the way you'll feel awkward, or worse, you'll trip on something cuz you're so nervous. So, do the two of you a favour and stay within arms reach of her as much as possible. Makes it easier for when you do feel it.

With that said, don't expect a long term relationship with this girl. Expect fun times, and wrap it up. She obviously likes to have fun, so don't fall in love with her, ok.

End note: Is my advice possible some uncalibrated shit that risks rejection? Yes. But if you don't risk it, you'll never find out either. And if you do try it, there is so much upside. Even if she rejects you, instead of telling her friends that you're a safe loser, she'll tell them that "Omg what a man, did you know he tried to kiss me? Yeah, he did!" So, even if you don't get her in particular, now all her friends will be hot for you. See, almost only upsides to going for it, even if uncalibrated. And when you try it enough times, you learn - and then you become smooth. But you never become smooth on the first try, so you gotta go for it. Always.

 

[gameboy]

What Ratata says. Plus:

About the new guys she has

If she's still hanging out with you, screw the new guys. They don't matter. (If they even exist. You told her a lot of gambits too apparently. She's just trying to draw even)

When she stops hanging out with you, that is the moment you know that she actually found a new guy she likes better.

 

[TrailBlazer]

What Ratata says. Plus:


If she's still hanging out with you, screw the new guys. They don't matter. (If they even exist. You told her a lot of gambits too apparently. She's just trying to draw even)

When she stops hanging out with you, that is the moment you know that she actually found a new guy she likes better.

Well maybe an important detail is that we are friends (probably) but we hang out because she’s a (free) social anxiety coach. Only once, when she told me I’m making her nervous, I asked her out to an event hosted by my friends and we hung out like that.

There I tried to isolate her but failed because I did it at a low point and then she left. It’s not easy!

 

[TrailBlazer]

I need to slap you.

SLAP!

Jokes aside (or now begins the actual slapping). Listen very carefully: You pussied out. Nothing never didn't just not happen. (Omg does that sentence even compute?) What happened was that you didn't make it happen. Now you've learned the hard way that you have to make it happen.

So... What will you do next time someone says that they keep thinking about you?

That's right: You will make it happen. By escalating. Even if you don't "feel" the correct vibe yet. And even if nothing has "happened" yet (you're the only one who can make things happen mkay). Cuz you're there alone with her for a reason. She put herself in that position - alone with you - to make it easy for you, and now all you have left do to is to man up and do the rest. I.e. escalate. Kiss her. Make it happen.

You were essentially waiting for a perfect moment, and then you pussied out because you didn't get that perfect moment. Well, here's the perfect moment for you. Say "Omg." Then just pull her in and kiss her out of the blue. (You don't actually have to say omg before you kiss her but it can help.) Then give her some excuse like "Sorry, I just had to do that!" Or even better "Omg what are you doing to me?"

But you're afraid. What if she rejects your attempt. Well, then you at least tried. And then at least she has respect for you, cuz you just showed that you've got a pair. Moreover, if you just keep talking as if nothing happened, or just make a slight excuse like "Oh sorry" if you are rejected, then just switch the topic, keep talking and try again later. It's always better to try, and get rejected, than not trying at all. (And if you wait for too long, she'll get pissed off at you for wasting her time, and you don't want that cuz she'll not just get pissed at you - she'll also tell her friends what a waste of time you are.) Bottom line is, you have to make it happen. And not feeling it is just an excuse. And a poor one at that. Remember, she's there alone with you for a reason.

Tho make sure you stay close to her. Always. In situations like that. Because if you are ten metres away from her and suddenly feel the urge to kiss her, then... Man, you'll have to cross a bunch of space to get there, and on the way you'll feel awkward, or worse, you'll trip on something cuz you're so nervous. So, do the two of you a favour and stay within arms reach of her as much as possible. Makes it easier for when you do feel it.

With that said, don't expect a long term relationship with this girl. Expect fun times, and wrap it up. She obviously likes to have fun, so don't fall in love with her, ok.

End note: Is my advice possible some uncalibrated shit that risks rejection? Yes. But if you don't risk it, you'll never find out either. And if you do try it, there is so much upside. Even if she rejects you, instead of telling her friends that you're a safe loser, she'll tell them that "Omg what a man, did you know he tried to kiss me? Yeah, he did!" So, even if you don't get her in particular, now all her friends will be hot for you. See, almost only upsides to going for it, even if uncalibrated. And when you try it enough times, you learn - and then you become smooth. But you never become smooth on the first try, so you gotta go for it. Always.

No thank you but with my past escalation attempts with other girls, it’s no wonder I’m careful. Two girls literally left in the middle of our date because I tried to escalate in a weird way. That’s why I’m trying to get experience via approaching and hopefully instant dates again soon! My escalation, when in a bad vibe, can be much worse than inaction, I’m afraid.

But you are right, I should make it happen. I need to find some more gambits, reignite the attraction again, and then escalate.

Maybe she did want more when she told me she kept thinking about me, but I find it really hard to believe these things. People have always hated me in the past, I’m not sure why some like me.

Also I have another girl telling me similar things, I may need more slaps… but I just want to feel desired, having the hope of it going well is better than actually risking it!

 

[Atlas IV]

I need to find some more gambits, reignite the attraction again, and then escalate.

No, you don't need more gambits. You've done plenty enough already.

Right now she thinks you're a guy who is very knowledgeable about sex but who doesn't take action. She probably thinks you aren't attracted to her. That's why she's opening up to you about all these other guys.

You need to get her somewhere private and start escalating physically, fractionating strategically to pre-empt the ASD (which is inevitable since you are such long-standing friends).

Compliance will tell you everything. If she's comfortably with the physical touch, keep going. If she isn't comfortable, you'll hear her objections and that will tell you how you need to calibrate.

Throwing more gambits at her is pointless until you know specifically what's keeping you and her from getting intimate.

I'll be honest though, your odds here are extremely low. She categorized you a looong time ago and it wasn't the "lover" category.

 

[Ratata]

Well maybe an important detail is that we are friends (probably) but we hang out because she’s a (free) social anxiety coach. Only once, when she told me I’m making her nervous, I asked her out to an event hosted by my friends and we hung out like that.

There I tried to isolate her but failed because I did it at a low point and then she left. It’s not easy!

Wait, is she hanging out with you because you need a social anxiety coach? Or is she hanging out with you because you asked her to hang out?

It's an important distinction because if it's the former, she's doing it for "selfish gains" i.e. to get experience as a coach. In other words, she's not attracted to you. If it's the latter, she is very likely attracted to you. Basically, if in the one instance, she's hanging out with you because you're her lab rat patient. In the other, because, well, because she's interested in you bro. But you have to lead the way. I just want to make sure about this, because if it's the former, then you need to meet other women bro. But if it's the latter, you still need to make things happen.

Also, if she hasn't "friend zoned" you (and this is still unclear), then you can assume it's sexual (unless you're her experimental subject). Heck, even if she's friend zoned you, if you keep acting attractive, busting her balls lightly, and staying within sexual proximity, creating a bit of sexual tension, or you stay a bit physical, then... even then the "friend zone" often doesn't matter. Or you can ask her to be your extra special friend <3 (i.e. your fb - if it gets kinda hot and heavy).

You say you've been blown out before. Bro, you haven't been blown out enough. You need to learn. And there is only one way. Or if you don't dare to do it on this girl, then find another who you are more comfortable losing due to experimental and uncalibrated escalations. Make them your lab rats for sexual experimentation, don't become their experiments on how find emotional tampons.

 

[mirror]

And yes we’ve been touching a bit when I did my tantric touch routine and she liked it, but since we’ve known each other for a year, shouldn’t the escalation take weeks/months to build anticipation? She told me she wants this kind of thing!

you can build stuff within 3days with the right mindset. that said, a week or a month can be good too.

 

[Ratata]

And yes we’ve been touching a bit when I did my tantric touch routine and she liked it, but since we’ve known each other for a year, shouldn’t the escalation take weeks/months to build anticipation? She told me she wants this kind of thing!

No. And what a girl tells you she wants, and what she really wants are often two very different things. She's testing if you can break through her femininity and be a man. And if you don't then, she's completely fine with having you as her girlfriend because it gives her status and an emotional tampon, while it gives you ... what, exactly? High hopes and a broken heart? I'm beginning to lean into the idea that it's better for you to break contact with her. Don't tell her. Just stop meeting her. If she begs for attention, then next time you meet her ... then you have to escalate all the way bro. If she rejects you, that's fine. Learn from it. But if you keep going like this, it will slowly kill your soul from each guy she tells you that she went home with the same night meanwhile she's stringing you along as your ... idk what ... as her pet. Do you want to be her little emotional tampon pet? I mean, some men like submission, so I don't judge, but at least be honest about what you want bro.

 

[OldGuy]

Women tell guys they are sleeping with other men to make them jealous. I hae had women do that to me and breakdown and cry when they found out I had someone else years later!

 

[Will_V]

- I’m approaching tons of girls, just so you know that I’m trying to get rid of this crush. -

But anyway, I have a friend of about a year. And since I try to come off as pretty sexually open, she keeps telling me about her sexual experiences and wishes.

First it was about how her boyfriend doesn’t satisfy her at all. I must have used almost all of the sexual gambits and I managed to establish myself as a good lover.

We got closer and a month ago she told me I’m making her nervous and that she keeps thinking about me. Nothing happened though, unluckily I didn’t have the correct vibe to escalate.

Now last week she was at a festival and she apparently had a really good time. When she came back, she kept telling me about all the men she got intimate with (she didn’t say she slept with them but it was pretty clear). Also told me about a threesome thing that happened.

So I don’t know. Last month she was crazy about me and now she talks about these things and it just makes me incredibly frustrated.

She talks about her experiences with pride, because she’s been trying to let go and finally enjoy her life for a long time now. And so I support her (I always encouraged her to go out there and do it).

But on the inside, I hurt a lot. I act sexually free and experienced thanks to the gambits, but I really am not and so I’m incredibly jealous of her now. How do I establish myself as the better lover now?

It's pretty clear she wanted you to make a move, but you were afraid to mess it up.

A girl needs sex bro, if you aren't gonna do it you gotta leave it to another dude to make her happy.

 

[TrailBlazer]

It's pretty clear she wanted you to make a move, but you were afraid to mess it up.

A girl needs sex bro, if you aren't gonna do it you gotta leave it to another dude to make her happy.

I definitely gave her options, opened some windows for her where she could say yes or move the interaction forward. I should have been more bold, at the same time, we should have girls chasing us! We should be the ones becoming available and they should bed us, isn’t that the point of this site?

And I know she wanted it and I didn’t do it right, but now she keeps telling me about all these other guys she has or could have and it’s driving me crazy! I mean apparently she doesn’t need it anymore! Or maybe she’s just trying to make me jealous? It’s so difficult to escalate when we only meet for 2 hours each week (that’s outlined in the anti-anxiety thing she coaches me in).

 

[Will_V]

I definitely gave her options, opened some windows for her where she could say yes or move the interaction forward. I should have been more bold, at the same time, we should have girls chasing us! We should be the ones becoming available and they should bed us, isn’t that the point of this site?

And I know she wanted it and I didn’t do it right, but now she keeps telling me about all these other guys she has or could have and it’s driving me crazy! I mean apparently she doesn’t need it anymore! Or maybe she’s just trying to make me jealous? It’s so difficult to escalate when we only meet for 2 hours each week (that’s outlined in the anti-anxiety thing she coaches me in).

I hope you're not paying her for the anxiety coaching because she seems to be making it worse!

It's been a year bro. She's probably given up on any hope that you'll make a move. Maybe she is trying to make you jealous, but at this point it's unlikely things would work out anyway.

Let her be your anxiety coach and leave it at that, go and find other girls to seduce, and stop letting girls put you in a tailspin for no good reason. They're just girls, with their own lives and foibles, and you're a man with your own life to live.

 

[TrailBlazer]

I hope you're not paying her for the anxiety coaching because she seems to be making it worse!

It's been a year bro. She's probably given up on any hope that you'll make a move. Maybe she is trying to make you jealous, but at this point it's unlikely things would work out anyway.

Let her be your anxiety coach and leave it at that, go and find other girls to seduce, and stop letting girls put you in a tailspin for no good reason. They're just girls, with their own lives and foibles, and you're a man with your own life to live.

I don’t think she has given up, each meeting I bring up possible scenarios to implant some dirty ideas in her head + I make sure to always bring the touch escalation forward. It pisses me off that other guys move faster (and I used to master that too, when I had momentum I could kiss girls off the street within minutes), but now my fear is back.

And no luckily I’m not paying her, it’s a free thing offered by my uni. Right now this coach is the main source of my anxiety! And it’s more like I’m coaching her, she keeps telling me about her relationships and everything.

I should have my own life, but if I’d be building a life just to impress her, is that really any different? I see no point in building a life for myself (I don’t like or know myself enough).

 

[Will_V]

I see no point in building a life for myself (I don’t like or know myself enough).

I don't know exactly what the problems in your life are or how to fix them, but correcting this should be your one and only focus right now, and I don't see any point worrying about the behavior of this girl or any other girl in the meantime.

 

[TrailBlazer]

I don't know exactly what the problems in your life are or how to fix them, but correcting this should be your one and only focus right now, and I don't see any point worrying about the behavior of this girl or any other girl in the meantime.

Well I have dedicated myself to game, it’s all I think about anyway. I want to become a great seducer and nothing else right now. So why not go this route? Why take my precious time away from what matters most in life - connections with others? I think you gotta put the effort in and make seduction your priority if you want to be the best.