Special Girl My crush keeps telling me about her sexual life

[mirror]

I’m not triggered while writing this. It’s been proven that you need at least some proof of being lovable in order to have something to build your own self love on.

Many people chase girls and validation, you’re shocked from what I write but I’m not that special. People just don’t talk about it as openly as I do. Or they pretend they live for something else, but deep down they just want the girls too.

Okay. You are loveable. Alright. You are.

 

[Skills]

The was a point of my life were i accidentally fucked a bunch of girls... And even make it into a method is not optional, i only use it if i have to,but read and understand the post in context

The friend zone method.- What I have learned from my failure with 8 different pivots (tales from the club) - The Skills Method

First what is a pivot: PIVOT—noun: a woman, usually a friend, used in social situations to help one meet other women. A pivot serves many functions: she provides social proof, … Continue Reading →

www.theskillsmethod.com

In the other post i have on seducing vulnerable women i do similar, i will link post later..

The strategy in those 2 posts what u need to do... again i fucked a bunch of women with disqualifying and friendzoning myself..

how to seduce emotionally vulnerable girls

I have been able to seduce a lot of emotionally vulnerable girls.... There was one in particular that i was like wowow, how i did this (lay report is in nextasf, tldr i made out i told boyfriend cause I thought she snitch on me, but she did not (bf i kind of knew, if i find it will post here...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[topcat]

There is a deeper layer to this, but most importantly: it’s written in our DNA! The urge to procreate is the strongest one we have. The biggest goal of our organism is to survive and make babies. So of course I feel the motivation to do that.

The deeper layer is of course childhood trauma and an unloving mother. I’ve been to 3 long term therapies for this, and I always managed to convince the therapists that having a girlfriend is what would help me the most. I need a repairing relationship full of love and validation, so that I have something to build that self love on. I need a proof of my value. Right now I only have proof of my worthlessness (abuse, bullying, etc). I don’t see myself as important. So I need someone to show me that I matter too. Otherwise I don’t know how to believe that!

Jesus. These are what you've been told are your reasons. When you ask yourself the question, what are your resoans?

 

[TrailBlazer]

Jesus. These are what you've been told are your reasons. When you ask yourself the question, what are your resoans?

Alright, I will speak straight from my emotional self. I want to fe the closeness of a girl. I want to know that she chose me. That I’m important to her. That I’m being perceived by her. That I’m real and can have influence on someone’s life.

I want the tension. I want these little risks with escalation, and to have them met with appreciation. I want to touch and be touched. I want to breathe next to another human and mutually validate our existence. I want to feel someone desire me.

That’s why I really really want girls.

 

[topcat]

Alright, I will speak straight from my emotional self. I want to fe the closeness of a girl. I want to know that she chose me. That I’m important to her. That I’m being perceived by her. That I’m real and can have influence on someone’s life.

I want the tension. I want these little risks with escalation, and to have them met with appreciation. I want to touch and be touched. I want to breathe next to another human and mutually validate our existence. I want to feel someone desire me.

That’s why I really really want girls.

Good. Better. Now who are you, and what do you currently have in your constitution, that would compel a woman to do and be these things for you?

 

[TrailBlazer]

Good. Better. Now who are you, and what do you currently have in your constitution, that would compel a woman to do and be these things for you?

I’m sure it’s not about money or looks - plenty of poor skinny guys get closeness with girls.

I can have a great vibe, but mostly I battle with depression/trauma and I’ve been in therapy to fix it for 3 years now.

But to the right type of (traumatised) girls I can offer great understanding and support, which can enhance the intimacy.

Thanks to this site I have a deep knowledge of the woman’s mind, which can be an added value too.

Other than that, I’m just a human and humans form pairs and sleep together. It shouldn’t be too hard. I judge myself too harshly and don’t see myself as important, but that’s not my doing, that’s the trauma wiring and that’s why I’m in therapy. I can’t deal with this myself because my brain strongly refuses the idea of me being good enough (it’s an unsafe thought).

So I’d say I’m doing my best! Not sure what else I could do to compel women as you say.

 

[topcat]

I’m sure it’s not about money or looks - plenty of poor skinny guys get closeness with girls.

I can have a great vibe, but mostly I battle with depression/trauma and I’ve been in therapy to fix it for 3 years now.

But to the right type of (traumatised) girls I can offer great understanding and support, which can enhance the intimacy.

Thanks to this site I have a deep knowledge of the woman’s mind, which can be an added value too.

Other than that, I’m just a human and humans form pairs and sleep together. It shouldn’t be too hard. I judge myself too harshly and don’t see myself as important, but that’s not my doing, that’s the trauma wiring and that’s why I’m in therapy. I can’t deal with this myself because my brain strongly refuses the idea of me being good enough (it’s an unsafe thought).

So I’d say I’m doing my best! Not sure what else I could do to compel women as you say.

Yeah this is bigger than me. But if i can make an observation it’s that you don’t take responsibility for your mental state (and thus responsibility for its remedy) rather choosing to outsource it to therapists etc. Do you.

But if you refuse to take responsibility for your own state, reality, life, why would a woman choose to put even a slither of hers in your care?

If that’s truly what you want as you seem to, the. you need to think about taking ownership, care and responsibility over yourself. your trauma belongs to you and so does the remedy, irrespective of what others may tell you…

 

[TrailBlazer]

Yeah this is bigger than me. But if i can make an observation it’s that you don’t take responsibility for your mental state (and thus responsibility for its remedy) rather choosing to outsource it to therapists etc. Do you.

But if you refuse to take responsibility for your own state, reality, life, why would a woman choose to put even a slither of hers in your care?

If that’s truly what you want as you seem to, the. you need to think about taking ownership, care and responsibility over yourself. your trauma belongs to you and so does the remedy, irrespective of what others may tell you…

Well seeking therapy and doing massive cold approaching is what I’d call taking responsibility for my life! As I said, I don’t know what more to do right now, I’m doing everything I can.

I don’t know if you think that dealing with mental problems on your own is smarter than outsourcing it to a therapist, but usually trying to do it alone isn’t enough. I tried and still try every day, but my brain just refuses the thought of me being good enough or important. So I need help with this and I’m getting it, but it’s a slow process.

 

[topcat]

Well seeking therapy and doing massive cold approaching is what I’d call taking responsibility for my life! As I said, I don’t know what more to do right now, I’m doing everything I can.

I don’t know if you think that dealing with mental problems on your own is smarter than outsourcing it to a therapist, but usually trying to do it alone isn’t enough. I tried and still try every day, but my brain just refuses the thought of me being good enough or important. So I need help with this and I’m getting it, but it’s a slow process.

Do you have any interests outside of women? Do you want anything for your life outside of women? Why do you even bother with therapy considering you don’t think you’re worthy of anything?

 

[TrailBlazer]

Do you have any interests outside of women? Do you want anything for your life outside of women? Why do you even bother with therapy considering you don’t think you’re worthy of anything?

I’ll be honest: the drive for women is what’s keeping me alive and functioning right now. It’s why I sought out the therapy (maybe deep down I also wanted to find out that I’m worthy of my own life, but that will be a very painful realisation for me).

So yes, there was a bit of self love/preservation in seeking therapy, but I still don’t know what it’s like to truly care about my life.

Apart from women I also love humour and LEGOs haha. But nothing comes close to women, they are my only driving force. I’m sure that when I reach some stable abundance, I’ll be able to move on to other goals and needs. But now everything else feels like a huge waste of time.

 

[topcat]

I’ll be honest: the drive for women is what’s keeping me alive and functioning right now. It’s why I sought out the therapy (maybe deep down I also wanted to find out that I’m worthy of my own life, but that will be a very painful realisation for me).

So yes, there was a bit of self love/preservation in seeking therapy, but I still don’t know what it’s like to truly care about my life.

Apart from women I also love humour and LEGOs haha. But nothing comes close to women, they are my only driving force. I’m sure that when I reach some stable abundance, I’ll be able to move on to other goals and needs. But now everything else feels like a huge waste of time.

An interest in humour and Lego is nothing to turn your nose up at.

Do you know what it is about those things that draws your passion?

Not the things in themselves but the thing rooted in them that you love and that brings you back to it?

If after answering that you can find a universal value in them that women can relate to or even be enlightened by the. you’ve found something that can inspire a woman to take interest in you. This interest you can the turn into sex, adoration and all those other things you want. But comes from providing women with something to emotionally see themselves in, or want for themselves/to be part of.

Make sense?

 

[mirror]

Alright, I will speak straight from my emotional self. I want to fe the closeness of a girl. I want to know that she chose me. That I’m important to her. That I’m being perceived by her. That I’m real and can have influence on someone’s life.

I want the tension. I want these little risks with escalation, and to have them met with appreciation. I want to touch and be touched. I want to breathe next to another human and mutually validate our existence. I want to feel someone desire me.

That’s why I really really want girls.

Can you try to dig deeper? It reads to me you havent addressed the real trauma

 

[Chase]

@TrailBlazer,

Alright, I will speak straight from my emotional self. I want to fe the closeness of a girl. I want to know that she chose me. That I’m important to her. That I’m being perceived by her. That I’m real and can have influence on someone’s life.

I want the tension. I want these little risks with escalation, and to have them met with appreciation. I want to touch and be touched. I want to breathe next to another human and mutually validate our existence. I want to feel someone desire me.

That’s why I really really want girls.

This is normal for inexperienced guys. You need that first girlfriend who is deeply into you to fully validate for yourself that, "Yes, women DO get crazy for me!"

However:

But to the right type of (traumatised) girls I can offer great understanding and support, which can enhance the intimacy.

Maybe, but be careful.

Pick the wrong girl with trauma and she will have the opposite effect you are looking for.

Rather than affirm that you can be immensely valuable to a woman she may leave you worse off than you are.

I would recommend you search for a GF who comes without baggage.

That is the real first experience you need.

I can have a great vibe, but mostly I battle with depression/trauma and I’ve been in therapy to fix it for 3 years now.

If you haven't read it, make sure you read this:

How to Overcome Depression

Was discussing this on a forum with a guy; I used to talk about it a fair amount, some time back, but it's sort of faded from my life in significance. It just isn't on my mind much these days anymore, but I do remember how big a deal it was for me once, and hopefully my story and process can...

www.girlschase.com

Chase

 

[TrailBlazer]

An interest in humour and Lego is nothing to turn your nose up at.

Do you know what it is about those things that draws your passion?

Not the things in themselves but the thing rooted in them that you love and that brings you back to it?

If after answering that you can find a universal value in them that women can relate to or even be enlightened by the. you’ve found something that can inspire a woman to take interest in you. This interest you can the turn into sex, adoration and all those other things you want. But comes from providing women with something to emotionally see themselves in, or want for themselves/to be part of.

Make sense?

Yes, I don’t take life too seriously and I value creativity. Those could be attractive things. But there are a lot of creative and funny guys, way more successful than me. And I don’t want any woman to settle for me when she could have way better guys, I want to be the best for her. It sucks to think that if someone like Leonardo DiCaprio was available, I would just be ditched.

Also I don’t want to mix my passions with women. My passions are mine and I’m not going to risk them by sharing them with others. That’s why I play a role while approaching. I’m not here as myself, although you’ve managed to uncover me a bit. I want to “trick” women into thinking I’m attractive. Actually being attractive is unthinkable for me. After everything people have done to me… abuse, bullying, ignorance… no, I’m not attractive. No one who was bullied will ever be attractive, period.

 

[topcat]

Yes, I don’t take life too seriously and I value creativity. Those could be attractive things. But there are a lot of creative and funny guys, way more successful than me. And I don’t want any woman to settle for me when she could have way better guys, I want to be the best for her. It sucks to think that if someone like Leonardo DiCaprio was available, I would just be ditched.

Also I don’t want to mix my passions with women. My passions are mine and I’m not going to risk them by sharing them with others. That’s why I play a role while approaching. I’m not here as myself, although you’ve managed to uncover me a bit. I want to “trick” women into thinking I’m attractive. Actually being attractive is unthinkable for me. After everything people have done to me… abuse, bullying, ignorance… no, I’m not attractive. No one who was bullied will ever be attractive, period.

Yeah you don’t get what i’m saying. And i can’t be bothered to drill it into your head. What you have is what you deserve. If you want differently then you must do differently irrespective of where you’ve come from. Trauma is not unique to you. Life traumatizes most of us, it’s how we respond to it that determines our outcomes.

More and more I feel it’s either in you or it isn’t.

Good luck dude.

 

[TrailBlazer]

Yeah you don’t get what i’m saying. And i can’t be bothered to drill it into your head. What you have is what you deserve. If you want differently then you must do differently irrespective of where you’ve come from. Trauma is not unique to you. Life traumatizes most of us, it’s how we respond to it that determines our outcomes.

More and more I feel it’s either in you or it isn’t.

Good luck dude.

I don’t get what you’re saying but I think I’m doing everything in my power to get better. As I said, seeking help and learning game wasn’t easy but I’m doing it. And I asked what more I should do, to which you didn’t reply. Do you even know the best course of action for me, that wouldn’t be vague “take responsibility”? Which I’m already doing?

Also where did I say that trauma is unique to me, that’s not even relevant to our discussion.

And life isn’t fair, you don’t get what you deserve, sometimes you don’t get something even if you try really hard.

 

[mirror]

Actually being attractive is unthinkable for me. After everything people have done to me… abuse, bullying, ignorance… no, I’m not attractive. No one who was bullied will ever be attractive, period.

You know better by now. I hope. People dont bother with people they dont find attractive on some level. Some part of me thinks you should own up to your identity and not worry about not being attractive at all. But i understand you. You really just have a lot to work through and it's hard because the inner critic answers when someone else says something.

The thing you need is to not run when the inner critic chimes up. Look him into the eyes and tell him that you are you and that that's okay. Regardless of what others tell you.
The funny thing is that you will be great and found attractive that way

 

[TrailBlazer]

You know better by now. I hope. People dont bother with people they dont find attractive on some level. Some part of me thinks you should own up to your identity and not worry about not being attractive at all. But i understand you. You really just have a lot to work through and it's hard because the inner critic answers when someone else says something.

The thing you need is to not run when the inner critic chimes up. Look him into the eyes and tell him that you are you and that that's okay. Regardless of what others tell you.
The funny thing is that you will be great and found attractive that way

Thank you for the understanding. So I tried the thing with the inner critic and man… I feel what you say but I’m also kind of glad I have him? Like I realised how much more confident and daring and risk-taking I would be without him… and I think that my other parts aren’t really ready for the possible rejections and testing from others.

Also I’d lose the hope that there are people who know me better than me and know the solution to my problems, basically people above me in terms of their life value. I wouldn’t even be posting these questions here because I know the answers. I’m just hoping that someone comes and saves me.

And if I’d realise that I am (and maybe always have been) attractive, it’s nice but all my past stops making sense. All that bullying and abuse becomes so much more painful because it’s been done on a valuable person! Maybe this is the work you mention. It hurts a lot!

 

[mirror]

And if I’d realise that I am (and maybe always have been) attractive, it’s nice but all my past stops making sense. All that bullying and abuse becomes so much more painful because it’s been done on a valuable person! Maybe this is the work you mention. It hurts a lot!

Yes. It's supposed to hurt. look for the hurt, chase the hurt.
forgive the abusers, and forgive the situation that hurt you. what has happened and passed cant be changed. there is only today and tomorrow that can bring you more.

 

[TrailBlazer]

Have sex with her (she is practically asking for it). Not all of the men women have told me they were having sex ever got laid by the woman who told me, and one did not get laid to quite a while after she told me she had.

Okay, I just realised that on the last meeting, she told me that her bf is away and that she will be scared sleeping alone in her house. You were right, she was probably asking for it. God DAMMIT. I miss so many chances. And I’m not a newbie!! How is this possible…