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My Hitting on a Doctor at Her Clinic Ended Badly, But I Strangely Feel Better About It Because I Was Honest

Noitard

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I feel embarrassed, maybe deservedly so, but I feel better about myself now because I went all out, even if it went down in flames. I went direct, she got flustered, and now doesn't want to see me again, I just learned. I probably deserved this, but I could see her her arousal, and it allowed me to take responsibility for mine. Isn't this weird? Her reaction left me entitled enough to stop perusing endless tea leaves prior to our appointments.

(If this isn't the right forum to talk about this, please forgive me.)
 

Noitard

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Probably not. Sigh. That said, I've done ton wrong, in any event. In any case, care to elaborate?
 

Chase

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@Noitard,

Probably not. Sigh. That said, I've done ton wrong, in any event. In any case, care to elaborate?

Oneitis:

Her reaction left me entitled enough to stop perusing endless tea leaves prior to our appointments.

Obviously you've been fixated on this gal for some time.

Take this as the push you need to quit doing the average, frustrated guy thing (we used to call it "Average, Frustrated Chump" -- AFC -- in the old mASF seduction forum days), where you get hooked on one girl stressing and worrying over her for weeks or months until it falls apart, and instead start meeting new women regularly.


All it takes is a mindset shift.

Chase
 

Noitard

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I've been seeing and talking to others, believe me, but this is a a bittersweet defeat, for me.

I did new tactics, was more aggressive, and got her to speak in a cute, soft voice, briefly, but afterwards, head took control, decided I was too....mensch, I'd guess, and told her manager to tell me I was not welcome back.

I'd like to talk about the mental aspects, frankly; a lot of times, in approaching, I feel too timid, or aggressive, and beat myself up over it, but here I have none, really, because I let it all hang out. Her reaction of signaling want, despite her better judgment, felt empowering in ways I can't describe after I called her out on some of her own behavior. "Now I don't that's very appropr...." she murmurs, words trailing off, literally unable to get the words off, as she's staring at her feet.

That image will always linger in my memory like a sweet, sweet perfume. I feel disappointed, but not crushed, and in the past I've assuredly felt that, too.
 

Dash of Englishness

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I've been seeing and talking to others, believe me, but this is a a bittersweet defeat, for me.

I did new tactics, was more aggressive, and got her to speak in a cute, soft voice, briefly, but afterwards, head took control, decided I was too....mensch, I'd guess, and told her manager to tell me I was not welcome back.

I'd like to talk about the mental aspects, frankly; a lot of times, in approaching, I feel too timid, or aggressive, and beat myself up over it, but here I have none, really, because I let it all hang out. Her reaction of signaling want, despite her better judgment, felt empowering in ways I can't describe after I called her out on some of her own behavior. "Now I don't that's very appropr...." she murmurs, words trailing off, literally unable to get the words off, as she's staring at her feet.

That image will always linger in my memory like a sweet, sweet perfume. I feel disappointed, but not crushed, and in the past I've assuredly felt that, too.
Makes me think of the scene where Tony Soprano got shot down by his psychologist.

I'd love to hear more. How did you actually make your move? What did you say? What did it feel like when saying the actual words, in comparison to how you imaged it would feel? Was it at the end of the appointment that you chose your moment? Did you help her out when she was lost for words? or did you leave struggle in awkwardness? What were you seeing her about anyway that needed so many visits? Were you faking it?

I don't know how long you've been seeing her, but I'm wondering would it have been better to make your move on her sooner? It must have been quite a lot for her to take in; realising that for all that time (however long it was) that you'd been considering hitting on her, when she thought she knew where you stood with each other. I know it feels good to get your feelings off your chest, but I'm wondering do you feel good because you unloaded the bad feeling on to her.

I guess it would be very unlikely to happen anyway considering she'd really be putting her reputation at risk. For all she knew you could have been dared to do it by one of your mates, and be gossiping around the town about it.

I take it you're sure that she's not married, but don't know whether or not she's single? I don't think there's anything really wrong with what you did? No opportunity is ideal. It certainly beats going up to some poor girl in the supermarket and saying "hey, can I day game you?"

You might bump into her again under different circumstances! Oh, could you spell out the comment about endless tea leaves for me?
 

Noitard

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She was a skin doctor; I saw her for foot sores, rectal rash, and regular melanoma skin checks. Did I go in part just to see her? Well, I considered hard how I'd justify the visits, let's say.Most of the time she was with an attendant, but I could tell she was attracted to me from the first time she saw me, and after one hands -on inspection in the first year i saw her, she said she "enjoyed" it in a way that seemed quite suggestive of... something.

Very obviously, she had a masochistic bent, which showed when I would say something that made her look like she didn't know what she was talking about, and she'd laugh. Later, she made a screw-up over a prescription of some kind, and I called her out on it (not angrily, mind you) and she melted into an emotional, pleading pile of remorse; really cute, I must say, and the visits kept ending with her sitting slightly pigeon toed, asking, "what do you want?" in a higher-pitched voice, even like a valley girl's.

The next visit (late June of 2021) was during a heat wave, and this time fit the weather, given she was exposing some cleavage, and she had never done that previously. Finally, leaning in, as she kept doing during our visits, now, she told me, breasts hanging out, in front of her aide, in a soft, seductive voice, that she'd "do whatever you want."

And how did I handle it? How did I handle this opportunity falling into my lap? Well, I panicked. I balked, I muffed it.

Trying to be cool (I wasn't) I said I wanted nothing, smirked, got up, and left; I can only guess how felt, but looking back, I must've been like a slap to to the face, and afterwards, after the heat had diminished, she was a whole lot cooler to me, as well, and in all my attempts to reignite the spark, it never was the same.

I wasn't even AFC, that day; I was worse. A heel. A coward. A phony. This was the turning point, and how can I blame her? She actively came on to me, without me having to chase, and I ran. She gave me a shot, and I blasted myself in the foot, making myself look bad, but after all the show she was willing to do in front of her colleague, I made her look even worse. I am sorry in so many ways, so many shapes, and in so many forms.
 
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StrayDog

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Is this the same doctor you first posted about in 2019

And then again here in 2023?

Hasn't it been a while since you stopped seeing her as your doctor

Seems like you've been hung up on this for quite sometime now.

What about this situation has you so hung up that it is occupying this much of your thoughts after so much time?

I'm inclined to think there might be some deeper complex surrounding this all.

Not that I have any answers. It's just a very curious series of events.
 
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Karea Ricardus D.

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The main thing here is, you don't go direct on your doctor. That's extremely miscalibrated, and from a female perspective, a little creepy.

Direct game is appropriate for some situations and utterly inappropriate in other situations, such as your doctor.

Direct is a numbers game, and you don't have a "number of sexy female doctors" to run that numbers game on.

Just even going direct in those situations is a huge DLV, because it shows poor social intuition.

Alright, that was not to berate you, just to explain to you why it went wrong and why everyone is telling you not to do this.

Back on point, you did well in that you pushed yourself, and the victory lap is deserved for that!

Now learn from the mistake, do something more indirect next time and move on from the situation...
 

Noitard

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Is this the same doctor you first posted about in 2019

And then again here in 2023?

Hasn't it been a while since you stopped seeing her as your doctor

Seems like you've been hung up on this for quite sometime now.

What about this situation has you so hung up that it is occupying this much of your thoughts after so much time?

I'm inclined to think there might be some deeper complex surrounding this all.

Not that I have any answers. It's just a very curious series of events.
I've been hitting on my doctors and therapists since the early 2010s as practice, basically, prioritizing them for their their looks; as to that doctor in 2019, she wasn't this one; hadn't even seen her, yet. As to 2023, yeah, same one.
 

Noitard

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The main thing here is, you don't go direct on your doctor. That's extremely miscalibrated, and from a female perspective, a little creepy.

Direct game is appropriate for some situations and utterly inappropriate in other situations, such as your doctor.

Direct is a numbers game, and you don't have a "number of sexy female doctors" to run that numbers game on.

Just even going direct in those situations is a huge DLV, because it shows poor social intuition.

Alright, that was not to berate you, just to explain to you why it went wrong and why everyone is telling you not to do this.

Back on point, you did well in that you pushed yourself, and the victory lap is deserved for that!

Now learn from the mistake, do something more indirect next time and move on from the situation...
Fair enough.
 

Karea Ricardus D.

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Wait, did you just say you pick your therapists based on their looks? 😅
 

StrayDog

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I've been hitting on my doctors and therapists since the early 2010s as practice, basically, prioritizing them for their their looks; as to that doctor in 2019, she wasn't this one; hadn't even seen her, yet. As to 2023, yeah, same one.
I have never encountered some one who hits on medical professionals as practice.

Is there a reason you have chosen this strategy, over something like cold approach pick up? Or is this just a side practice?

Seems like it would be pretty slim margins for success on something like this.

Impressive if you pull it off, but highly unlikely.

Has this ever worked for you? You've been doing this for over a decade.

Also, this is like hired gun game x10. Like these women are just there to do their job. They probably get hit on often. It's probably really easy to make them feel corned/creeped out. There is no real social context to support a seduction. In fact, there are laws and ethical codes around their line of work, so hitting on a waitress at restaurant you frequent this is not.

I am curious what has compelled you to chose this strategy.

Also seems like not the best strategy for getting the best mental/physical assistance you can possibly get. But that's another story all together...
 
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PaulieFlyn10

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I have never encountered some one who hits on medical professionals as practice.

Is there a reason you have chosen this strategy, over something like cold approach pick up? Or is this just a side practice?

Seems like it would be pretty slim margins for success on something like this.

Impressive if you pull it off, but highly unlikely.

Has this ever worked for you? You've been doing for over a decade.

Also, this is like hired gun game x10. Like these women are just there to do their job. They probably get hit on often. It's probably really easy to make them feel corned/creeped out. There is no real social context to support a seduction. In fact, there are laws and ethical codes around their line of work, so hitting on a waitress at restaurant you frequent this is not.

I am curious what has compelled you to chose this strategy.

Also seems like not the best strategy for getting the best mental/physical assistance you can possibly get. But that's another story all together...
Probably a fantasy and fetish

I also have this fetish of fucking a doctor as a patient. And after I did it, and met some female doctors...

Some of them also have this fantasy. I think I'd call it the profession fantasy..

Like fucking your nurse, therapist, doctor, account manager...

Or a soldier (I know someone with this one)

Or maybe he's just into doctors lol
 

StrayDog

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Probably a fantasy and fetish

I also have this fetish of fucking a doctor as a patient. And after I did it, and met some female doctors...

Some of them also have this fantasy. I think I'd call it the profession fantasy..

Like fucking your nurse, therapist, doctor, account manager...

Or a soldier (I know someone with this one)

Or maybe he's just into doctors lol
I mean, I'm currently fucking a doctor but I'm not her patient. Suppose that's a bit different, but I am sure I could get her to role play if I wanted to.

I get the fantasy here, but I am not sure I see the overall benefit of this as a long term mating strategy.

But hey maybe this is a whole new style game waiting to be invented. Home boy starts slaying this way. Forget dating apps. All he has to do is go on psychology today to find his next lover.
 

Will_V

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I always flirt with nurses on the rare occasions I end up in a clinic. Otherwise it's just annoying to be there.

Sounds like @Noitard did the typical platonic crush thing of getting so worked up about her that when she gives some kind of opportunity, he panics, she balks, and inevitably things implode.

A bit of sexual abundance would change things fast. I guess the question is, would you rather play vague games with nurses for years on end that result in no sex and having to change clinics, or figure out how to go and meet these women properly and actually have sex with them?
 

StrayDog

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I always flirt with nurses on the rare occasions I end up in a clinic. Otherwise it's just annoying to be there.

Sounds like @Noitard did the typical platonic crush thing of getting so worked up about her that when she gives some kind of opportunity, he panics, she balks, and inevitably things implode.

A bit of sexual abundance would change things fast. I guess the question is, would you rather play vague games with nurses for years on end that result in no sex and having to change clinics, or figure out how to go and meet these women properly and actually have sex with them?
There is a difference between flirting with nurses at a clinic when they happen to be cute (as I am sure we all have done), and prioritizing your health care (both mental and physical) as a means of seduction practice.

Either way though you are certainly correct that a bit of sexual abundance and learning to access these women in environments more typically conducive to seduction would be a reasonable remedy here.
 

Will_V

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There is a difference between flirting with nurses at a clinic when they happen to be cute (as I am sure we all have done), and prioritizing your health care (both mental and physical) as a means of seduction practice.

Either way though you are certainly correct that a bit of sexual abundance and learning to access these women in environments more typically conducive to seduction would be a reasonable remedy here.

Lol true, I don't really like dealing with female doctors for anything serious, but it's always fun to flirt with the nurses and assistants. They are so used to dealing with the typical patient complex attitude that it's easy to stand out.

I'd rather meet them anywhere other than a hospital though.
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

Noitard

Space Monkey
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Messages
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I have never encountered some one who hits on medical professionals as practice.

Is there a reason you have chosen this strategy, over something like cold approach pick up? Or is this just a side practice?

Seems like it would be pretty slim margins for success on something like this.

Impressive if you pull it off, but highly unlikely.

Has this ever worked for you? You've been doing this for over a decade.

Also, this is like hired gun game x10. Like these women are just there to do their job. They probably get hit on often. It's probably really easy to make them feel corned/creeped out. There is no real social context to support a seduction. In fact, there are laws and ethical codes around their line of work, so hitting on a waitress at restaurant you frequent this is not.

I am curious what has compelled you to chose this strategy.

Also seems like not the best strategy for getting the best mental/physical assistance you can possibly get. But that's another story all together...
I chose this strategy because it allowed mostly for one-one one interaction, and it has worked fairly well, by my lights, at least. One reason it failed with my curent doctor I've talked of is because it wasn't one-onone, and I didn't risk requesting them. In my final visit, I was asked if I wanted a one-on one with the doctor, but I turned it down because I assumed an aide would be there, anyways. Stupid, tone-deaf me, I suppose.

In any case, I want to say, I have had such a very high rate of sparking attraction with women one-on--one that I think it's a great tactic, and if I was proficient, it would work far, far better.
 
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