My Hitting on a Doctor at Her Clinic Ended Badly, But I Strangely Feel Better About It Because I Was Honest

[Noitard]

I always flirt with nurses on the rare occasions I end up in a clinic. Otherwise it's just annoying to be there.

Sounds like @Noitard did the typical platonic crush thing of getting so worked up about her that when she gives some kind of opportunity, he panics, she balks, and inevitably things implode.

A bit of sexual abundance would change things fast. I guess the question is, would you rather play vague games with nurses for years on end that result in no sex and having to change clinics, or figure out how to go and meet these women properly and actually have sex with them?

You raise the salient point, my friend.

 

[Noitard]

Probably a fantasy and fetish

I also have this fetish of fucking a doctor as a patient. And after I did it, and met some female doctors...

Some of them also have this fantasy. I think I'd call it the profession fantasy..

Like fucking your nurse, therapist, doctor, account manager...

Or a soldier (I know someone with this one)

Or maybe he's just into doctors lol

It is more about opportunity, but I think a fetish aspect has crept in because of my exposure. How's that?

 

[StrayDog]

I chose this strategy because it allowed mostly for one-one one interaction, and it has worked fairly well, by my lights, at least.

"Worked fairly well" In the decade since you have begun this practice has it resulted in a single date? What about two dates? has it worked once, more than once? What is "worked fairly well"?

You know what also allows for one on one interactions? Meeting women with cold approach and inviting them on dates. How are your cold approach skills?

One reason it failed with my curent doctor I've talked of is because it wasn't one-onone, and I didn't risk requesting them. In my final visit, I was asked if I wanted a one-on one with the doctor, but I turned it down because I assumed an aide would be there, anyways. Stupid, tone-deaf me, I suppose.

There is more than one reason this has failed, and it is not just because you turned down a one on one visit.

In any case, I want to say, I have had such a very high rate of sparking attraction with women one-on--one that I think it's a great tactic, and if I was proficient, it would work far, far better.

I'd love for you to pull this off (consistently at that). But unless you are actually seeing results (actually taking these women on dates/to bed) it is very difficult to see this as a "great tactic." Especially after a decade of opportunities to become proficient.

Any way, I find this novel approach of yours rather fascinating, as it is rather uncharted territory. I'm just not sure that it is what you are making it out to be, and the stakes are somewhat high in the long run (your physical and mental healthcare is important).

I have had a good amount of female friends/lovers in these industries (mental/physical healthcare). And while I am sure some of them have had some naughty fantasies about patients (maybe not specific patients but the idea in general) they wouldn't really be quick to admit it due to social/professional codes. I used to rib a former lover of mine (a mental healthcare worker)about her wanting to seduce her patients ,and she was rather quick to dismissing the notion (maybe wasn't seeing Don Juan as a patient at the time). Most of the stories I have heard around this sort of thing have been about patients making uncalibrated moves on these ladies and it making them uncomfortable/putting them in a really awkward position. It is essentially the same thing that attractive women in the service industry lament, but with an added frustration because of the nature of the work. While the fantasy that some smooth guy will walk into the clinic and sweep her away might be there, no one wants to be somewhat cornered in a room with a guy that thinks he is being way more smooth than he actually is. Thusly put in a position where they have to deny him healthcare. It's awkward and uncomfortable for everyone.



That said, it is not entirely unheard of, couples meeting this way. It is just really hard to imagine consistently leveraging these interactions for seduction (or even once in a decade, in your case?). Even if they allow for one on one interactions with these women. You probably have a far greater chance to get these women one on one, and bed them, by meeting them by meeting them under other circumstances. Circumstances without such a counter seductive framework around them.

But maybe I am missing something here.

 

[Dash of Englishness]

She was a skin doctor; I saw her for foot sores, rectal rash, and regular melanoma skin checks. Did I go in part just to see her? Well, I considered hard how I'd justify the visits, let's say.Most of the time she was with an attendant, but I could tell she was attracted to me from the first time she saw me, and after one hands -on inspection in the first year i saw her, she said she "enjoyed" it in a way that seemed quite suggestive of... something.

Hang on, you said you'd a rectal rash? Did she examine it?!

 

[Dash of Englishness]

The next visit (late June of 2021) was during a heat wave, and this time fit the weather, given she was exposing some cleavage, and she had never done that previously. Finally, leaning in, as she kept doing during our visits, now, she told me, breasts hanging out, in front of her aide, in a soft, seductive voice, that she'd "do whatever you want."

And how did I handle it? How did I handle this opportunity falling into my lap? Well, I panicked. I balked, I muffed it.

Trying to be cool (I wasn't) I said I wanted nothing, smirked, got up, and left; I can only guess how felt, but looking back, I must've been like a slap to to the face, and afterwards, after the heat had diminished, she was a whole lot cooler to me, as well, and in all my attempts to reignite the spark, it never was the same.

I wasn't even AFC, that day; I was worse. A heel. A coward. A phony. This was the turning point, and how can I blame her? She actively came on to me, without me having to chase, and I ran. She gave me a shot, and I blasted myself in the foot, making myself look bad, but after all the show she was willing to do in front of her colleague, I made her look even worse. I am sorry in so many ways, so many shapes, and in so many forms.

You should have provided that relevant context in your OP. I suppose it was all the harder to get over that mess-up given that this sort of thing is your specialty! Sometimes I think women have a way of punishing men for missing an opportunity.

What was it you said just before she said "I'll do whatever you want"? Do you think she might actually have shagged you there and then?!

 

[StrayDog]

You should have provided that relevant context in your OP. I suppose it was all the harder to get over that mess-up given that this sort of thing is your specialty! Sometimes I think women have a way of punishing men for missing an opportunity.

What was it you said just before she said "I'll do whatever you want"? Do you think she might actually have shagged you there and then?!

yes, I am curious about this too. Like when he says "breasts hanging out" does me mean she actually took her tits out, or he just means she was showing cleavage? Big difference. "do whatever you want" means a lot of things in a lot of contexts.

For example "would you like for me to fill the subscription, or should we wait. I'll do whatever you want" isn't quite seduction worthy, even if there is a flirtatious undertone.

Especially with the assistant present.

There is a lot of crucial info missing from this picture.

Besides, what could he really have done in that moment? There was no precedent set where breaking the touch barrier would have been appropriate. Unless her assistant was somehow in on the whole thing and they were both just jonesing to fuck (highly unlikely) there was no way he could have done really anything.

I doubt that there was any precedent in the interactions they had where he gained major compliance from her in a way that he could have moved the seduction forward in that moment. It was probably a huge leap from flirting in the docs office, to escalating.

Even getting her personal number would have been miss calibrated as she can't just be giving out her number to patients infront of other healthcare professionals. She could lose her license.

Giving him the benefit of the doubt, maybe she was toying with the idea, seeing how far she could push the boundary. Seeing how far he could take it with her. This probably likely. But still, what all could be done with minimal precedent for compliance.

A remarkably less generous assessment is that he is mostly projecting here and reading into things that arent quite there. (though it does sound like perhaps he was generating some attraction)

Even if she was flirting with the potential, we'll never know because he made an uncalibrated move and the whole thing bottomed out. Plus, what move could he really have made?

@Noitard I am not sure how much long gaming this sort of thing would work. I would imagine the best approach would be to some how break her out of autopilot on the first visit and go for a number close right off the bat. Even then I think the social context is working against you, and you would really have to work some magic to pull something like this off and not just alienate the gal. They have guys coming into their office hitting on them all the time, what makes you any different.

Maybe there is some long game strategy that could be employed but that is a lot of investment in an interaction that has a lot of inherent frame working against you. You would have to have a very clear strategy from flipping the frame, and moving things forward. And that takes a lot of trial and error, of which long gaming health care workers does not necessarily afford. It is a large invest at a high stakes table. And if the chances of alienating her on the first visit are high, long game the chances are even higher. As this blowout has proven.

 

[StrayDog]

I suppose it was all the harder to get over that mess-up given that this sort of thing is your specialty!

is it his specialty? as far as I'm aware he has not once landed any of these doctors he visits.

 

[Teevster]

Hang on, you sad you'd a rectal rash? Did she examine it?!

You can't have a rash inside your rectum, and also that's not really a job for dermatologists.

 

[StrayDog]

so I know I've been commenting a lot here, but I'm just fascinated.

I went in psychology today as a thought experiment.

While there were plenty of cute therapists, but I only saw about four that made the prospect of doing something like this exciting. And I still wouldn't say these girls were a dime by any means.

Then I thought about actually calling them to set up an appointment. And how they screen those calls to be sure that the patient is the right fit. And how you would have to be rather convincing as to why you are seeking her help to even make it into her office in the first place.

It all felt so strangely premeditated. So much effort, and hidden motives, just to get in the door.

And then I thought about the frame (the social frame, not the door frame), and how poor the whole frame was. By the time I am sitting in front of this woman it has already been established that the reason I am seeing her is for some at least somewhat already defined issue that has nothing to do with anything seductive.

I felt myself standing right at the foot of a massive uphill battle. I couldn't even picture what the next step would be.

In the end, I decided to not feign psychological ailment, or use an actual psychological ailment, as a pretext to meeting these woman.

 

[Chase]

It all felt so strangely premeditated. So much effort, and hidden motives, just to get in the door.

Yeah, it sort of sounds like this is his thing? @Noitard is this how you meet women... you look for hot doctors then set up appointments with them? Has this ever born fruit (as in: a sexual encounter/relationship) or is it some kind of unrequited fixation?

Personally, I've had much better luck meeting hottie doctors via cold approach than I have picking them up from doctor's appointments (though I do have one hottie optometrist insta-date under my belt from an eye exam). To any guy with a diagnosed fetish for doctors, here's my prescription: learn to cold approach!

Chase

 

[StrayDog]

though I do have one hottie optometrist insta-date under my belt from an eye exam

wait, how did you land this?

 

[Chase]

@StrayDog,

Just basic stuff. I was a walk-in, vision center in a mall, they got me in for an appointment, optometrist was this mid-20s smoke-show... I couldn't believe she was doing eye exam stuff. Chatted her up the whole eye exam. Okay connection though nothing great. Probably some attraction from her but nothing strong.

Anyway, exam over, I walked out to do the bill stuff, figured I'd see her out there and ask her out, but I paid and didn't see her again. So I asked the older lady at the desk if the hottie optometrist was still there and if she thought the optometrist might want to get lunch. She went back, got the optometrist, hottie optometrist came out front, told me she could take her lunch in an hour, and I said cool, meet you back here then. Took her number just before I left just in case.

Prowled the mall, made a few approaches, grabbed I think one other girl's number, then back to the vision center about an hour later. The optometrist and I walked to the food court, grabbed lunch, chatted, flirted, etc. At one point I had her blushing. She seemed like she was excited, I walked her back to work after, and just never heard from her again; texts went unanswered. I think I had something going on that time and didn't follow up as methodically as I would have normally. It actually surprised me a bit to not get a response at all, given the excitement/blushing/etc. I probably messed up the pacing during the lunch or something; i doubt she gets asked to lunch by a patient all that often. Either that or there was a boyfriend I didn't know about.

Chase

 

[StrayDog]

@StrayDog,

Just basic stuff. I was a walk-in, vision center in a mall, they got me in for an appointment, optometrist was this mid-20s smoke-show... I couldn't believe she was doing eye exam stuff. Chatted her up the whole eye exam. Okay connection though nothing great. Probably some attraction from her but nothing strong.

Anyway, exam over, I walked out to do the bill stuff, figured I'd see her out there and ask her out, but I paid and didn't see her again. So I asked the older lady at the desk if the hottie optometrist was still there and if she thought the optometrist might want to get lunch. She went back, got the optometrist, hottie optometrist came out front, told me she could take her lunch in an hour, and I said cool, meet you back here then. Took her number just before I left just in case.

Prowled the mall, made a few approaches, grabbed I think one other girl's number, then back to the vision center about an hour later. The optometrist and I walked to the food court, grabbed lunch, chatted, flirted, etc. At one point I had her blushing. She seemed like she was excited, I walked her back to work after, and just never heard from her again; texts went unanswered. I think I had something going on that time and didn't follow up as methodically as I would have normally. It actually surprised me a bit to not get a response at all, given the excitement/blushing/etc. I probably messed up the pacing during the lunch or something; i doubt she gets asked to lunch by a patient all that often. Either that or there was a boyfriend I didn't know about.

Chase

Walk in clinic makes a lot of sense, a little more casual vibe around it. An element of happenstance as well.

 

[Noitard]

Yeah, it sort of sounds like this is his thing? @Noitard is this how you meet women... you look for hot doctors then set up appointments with them? Has this ever born fruit (as in: a sexual encounter/relationship) or is it some kind of unrequited fixation?

Personally, I've had much better luck meeting hottie doctors via cold approach than I have picking them up from doctor's appointments (though I do have one hottie optometrist insta-date under my belt from an eye exam). To any guy with a diagnosed fetish for doctors, here's my prescription: learn to cold approach!

Chase

In early 2014 I committed to cold approach at a local community college. And it went like this. I was following online advice, had already tried cold approaching five at one time, and was told it wasn't enough. So, I decided to approach twenty girls in basically an hour's time.

Well, I did it, including creeping a girl out by touching her, but I was in a groove by then, and kept approaching, even after I had reached my specified count of twenty. I was actually having decent conversation with one girl, when...security arrived. Seems that the girl I'd creeped out had called security, and not just that, she was under age. (Community college; I'm an idiot.)

In any case, I defended my actions by saying I was just being friendly, but they weren't buying it. Fortunately I didn't get banned from campus, but I didn't go back for a while. On top of that, I was on the bus, and that girl I creeped out was on it, but I didn't recognize her, though I evidently made eye contact. This spooked her, and she called the cops, and they chewed me out. "You touched a little girl!" one yelled. Let's just say it left an impression.

Have I cold approached en masse like that since? No. Why? Well, I have a bad taste in my mouth, though i have practiced in other ways. In practicing, I think I should have just tried getting numbers, instead of also going kino, too. I was doing too much too fast, and probably should have just focused on numbers to start, and not including building attraction.

 

[TomInHo]

In early 2014 I committed to cold approach at a local community college. And it went like this. I was following online advice, had already tried cold approaching five at one time, and was told it wasn't enough. So, I decided to approach twenty girls in basically an hour's time.

Well, I did it, including creeping a girl out by touching her, but I was in a groove by then, and kept approaching, even after I had reached my specified count of twenty. I was actually having decent conversation with one girl, when...security arrived. Seems that the girl I'd creeped out had called security, and not just that, she was under age. (Community college; I'm an idiot.)

In any case, I defended my actions by saying I was just being friendly, but they weren't buying it. Fortunately I didn't get banned from campus, but I didn't go back for a while. On top of that, I was on the bus, and that girl I creeped out was on it, but I didn't recognize her, though I evidently made eye contact. This spooked her, and she called the cops, and they chewed me out. "You touched a little girl!" one yelled. Let's just say it left an impression.

Have I cold approached en masse like that since? No. Why? Well, I have a bad taste in my mouth, though i have practiced in other ways. In practicing, I think I should have just tried getting numbers, instead of also going kino, too. I was doing too much too fast, and probably should have just focused on numbers to start, and not including building attraction.

Hmmm…

Sorry to hear about your bad experience with cold approach, but have you fucked or even been on a date with any of these doctors you’ve been running game on for all these years?

 

[Dash of Englishness]

@StrayDog,

Just basic stuff. I was a walk-in, vision centre in a mall, they got me in for an appointment, optometrist was this mid-20s smoke-show... I couldn't believe she was doing eye exam stuff. Chatted her up the whole eye exam. Okay connection though nothing great. Probably some attraction from her but nothing strong.

Anyway, exam over, I walked out to do the bill stuff, figured I'd see her out there and ask her out, but I paid and didn't see her again. So I asked the older lady at the desk if the hottie optometrist was still there and if she thought the optometrist might want to get lunch. She went back, got the optometrist, hottie optometrist came out front, told me she could take her lunch in an hour, and I said cool, meet you back here then. Took her number just before I left just in case.

Prowled the mall, made a few approaches, grabbed I think one other girl's number, then back to the vision centre about an hour later. The optometrist and I walked to the food court, grabbed lunch, chatted, flirted, etc. At one point I had her blushing. She seemed like she was excited, I walked her back to work after, and just never heard from her again; texts went unanswered. I think I had something going on that time and didn't follow up as methodically as I would have normally. It actually surprised me a bit to not get a response at all, given the excitement/blushing/etc. I probably messed up the pacing during the lunch or something; i doubt she gets asked to lunch by a patient all that often. Either that or there was a boyfriend I didn't know about.

Chase

Cool, what was the older lady at the desk's reaction? And I wonder could could something like this cause rumours about her at the place of work!

 

[Dash of Englishness]

Well, I did it, including creeping a girl out by touching her, but I was in a groove by then, and kept approaching, even after I had reached my specified count of twenty.

Where did you touch her?

 

[Chase]

I feel like I need to write something telling new guys never to mass approach on/in:

• College campuses
• Gyms
• Malls

These are the big three that I always see guys spam approaching as total beginners and getting security called on them.

Actually I am going to write that now.

Chase

 

[Teevster]

I feel like I need to write something telling new guys never to mass approach on/in:

• College campuses
• Gyms
• Malls

These are the big three that I always see guys spam approaching as total beginners and getting security called on them.

Actually I am going to write that now.

Chase

Ironically, those people usually dislike nightgame and are convinced daygame is the way to go, but mass approaching in a big chaotic club is actually in my book probably the best setting for mass-approaching.

-Teevster

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

I'm starting to suspect a troll