- Oct 21, 2019
And women are not men.
For those kind of questions there is no simmetry.
For those kind of questions there is no simmetry.
If you're having problem with dates specifically I would recommend @Tony D date coaching. I did 6 sessions of me talking to girls and it has helped me tremendously. I sucked at the beginning and all I did was boring friendly nice guy convo. But Tony gave me feedback on what I was missing on my dates,what I could do better. Then towards the end I did a much better job,flirting,teasing making the girl laugh. Also he can help you with your negative beliefs and mindsets. If you've never spoken to him before you can do a free consultation this is his email firstname.lastname@example.orgSo the feeling that I am getting here is that a guy shouldn't settle. Is this really correct though? If a woman was getting a bit older and wanted to have kids and had the option to settle (for her less than ideal guy) then wouldn't many say that it is prudent for her to do so? Is there an analogous situation where a guy should settle? I'm just wondering if there are any examples of any guys who settled and things went well for them.
When I stated in the first post that I'm an unattractive guy, you shouldn't see it as me being negative but rather as a fact. It's a fact that I haven't been able to attract the women that I'd be excited to meet and so I'm unattractive by definition. It's not just an aberration; I have failed for multiple years and over 50 online dates so that's the only conclusion. I think that my voice sounds fine. I did some simple vocal exercises and then recorded myself speaking out loud for a few weeks and I can't hear any issues. I also use the old trick when going out that if you're not sure if your voice is sounding the way you want it to, just speak a little louder.
For CBT, I could have taken it but I was told that I didn't have any strong symptoms of any major mental disorder and so I could take it or leave it. I decided to leave it. Maybe that was a bad decision and I should go back.
So are you all saying that I just need to go out there for my approach sessions and suffer? Spend hours every week doing my approaches and in 1000 or so approaches I'll be getting dates? Is it definitely ok to continue approaching without getting any AIs? The worry I have is that there are guys who go for years with thousands of approaches and no results. But even worse is that if my approaches go well, it will be a date, and dates are an arena where I have already failed badly. I also don't want to grind myself down further. Every bad approach session is going to hurt. I can live with a bad approach session but what if I turn progressively more bitter and sabotage myself further? But I guess that I have to remember that game is a game of asymmetric returns and that he who dares wins, especially here.
Being unattractive is not a permanent and unchangeable state. This entire website is dedicated to taking the unattractive and making him very attractive. It's negative because you've let that "fact" settle into your bones and now you believe it.When I stated in the first post that I'm an unattractive guy, you shouldn't see it as me being negative but rather as a fact. It's a fact that I haven't been able to attract the women that I'd be excited to meet and so I'm unattractive by definition.
So are you all saying that I just need to go out there for my approach sessions and suffer? Spend hours every week doing my approaches and in 1000 or so approaches I'll be getting dates? Is it definitely ok to continue approaching without getting any AIs?
Yes that's right. I meant to say... "should a guy settle for less (if he wants to settle down and not stay single).I think you are also misunderstanding the difference between “to settle down” and “to settle for less”
Settling down is a personal choice to have a long term relationship with a woman and have a family.
Settling for less means dating women that you are not excited about or value much.
For approach anxiety, I had a coach tell me to approach and I found that I could do it. Then I approached with wings. I found that if I was with a friend approaching, the anxiety wouldn't be there. What really helped me was chatting to my wing about some mundane thing and then deciding to approach, pausing the conversation and then going so no time to think because you go from the conversation to your opener. If approaching alone, it's going to be tougher but there are many standard warm up schemes that you could use such as saying "good afternoon" to a hired gun, asking for directions, delivering a direct compliment and then finally doing a full direct approach. You might be a tougher case though. When I got approaching, it became clear that I didnt have any major social or approach anxiety.
I'm sorry to say that I am sceptical of coaches now. My first coach was a scammer. Then I had a coach who cured my AA and helped me to learn the basic street approach. That was good. But all further coaching has just been myself out on a day or night game session with the coach just directing me to do approaches.
I'm definitely not the best looking guy. In my country I'd be below average. But I don't want that to limit me. Or at least the feeling that I get from this thread is that stuff like that should not limit me.
Yes that's right. I meant to say... "should a guy settle for less (if he wants to settle down and not stay single).
01: you don't know if you are attractive or not. Nobody knows really. Off course Henry Cavill and Chris Hemsworth are godly handsome, but I personally know some women who think they are too big, too tall or too white and would not fuck them. This is why you should maximize looks (ask for female and gay friends opinions, not guys) and never give a shit about what other people think about your appearance.I'm definitely not the best looking guy. In my country I'd be below average. But I don't want that to limit me. Or at least the feeling that I get from this thread is that stuff like that should not limit me.