NewBeeWinner: From Rock Bottom to The Stars

NewBeeWinner

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
364
Update 4/26:

Hey guys.

So I've been doing more reading and evaluating (fun right?) and it FINALLY clicked for me. Before, I was making sex my aim with girls because "I want to get laid". But there was a few issues with this:

- I failed to set the right expectations with women
- If a girl didn't want to have sex, it bummed me out (and the seduction crashed and burned)
- I came across more needy

I realized I can't make sex my goal. After all, high-value guys are OK not having sex. They don't need sex. It's just fun and a nice break. It's not so serious.

What finally clicked for me is that sex is the FOCUS, not the GOAL. In other words, in every interaction with women, I move the interaction TOWARDS sex, but if sex doesn't happen that is OK because it is not the GOAL. (Chase said this in an article, but it didn't CLICK for me)

So then I went on a search for what my GOAL should be. I decided it should be this: How is this woman going to add value to my life?

If the women will only add value to my life sexually
, I need to be upfront with her and set the right expectations (meeting for sex only). In my mind, this should be done BEFORE I have sex with her the first time. Otherwise, you've miscommunicated and someone can end up hurt.

If I want the girl for a FWB relationship, I also need to set the right expectations. But in my mind, this could be done after having sex the first time (because now you've had sex and want to again).

If I want a girl for a relationship, I let her chase the relationship after sex and, after deciding "yes I want this girl as a girlfriend", I set the terms of the relationship moving forward.

The issue I was having was that I wanted to meet these girls and just have sex with them (to get laid), but I didn't communicate that in the right way. This lead to a lot of mistakes in my seductions.

So I evaluate girls against my standards for each category and have an end-goal in mind. I properly communicate expectations based on the girl and lead the interaction accordingly.

ITS LIKE A BUNCH OF GC ARTICLES FINALLY CLICKED IN MY BRAIN.

Talk about crazy lol.

So, when I go out to a lounge (being consistent with what I said before), I approach a girl from the side, open with a speaker-centered opener, build intrigue, lock in, build compliance, arousal, and similarity. I set up the date (or do an insta-date). At the date (or before), I determine how this girl is going to add value to my life. I am upfront with expectations (if wanting only sex). I lead the date accordingly, taking her home and have sex. I then set the terms if she's going to be a FWB or girlfriend (or maybe I just get used for sex and don't hear from her again).

This makes so much more sense than spam-approaching and hoping to get sex from a girl.

Now to make sure I have down how to set the right expectations and am clear on my standards for girlfriends, flings, and FWBs.

Till the next insight (or once the corona restrictions clear, field reports),

NBW
 

NewBeeWinner

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
364
Update 5/5:

Hey guys. So I've been really looking at this feeling of "neediness". For some reason, calling it "neediness" never really seemed right to me - I never went "ahhh yes that's what I'm feeling". I never felt like I was attention seeking - although to some extent I'm sure I was. But my point is that it didn't FEEL that way.

Why does this all matter so much? Because it's the feeling driving needy behavior, my desire to be on nofap, the driving force behind approach addiction, the reason I treat women differently than guys, etc.

It's honestly hard af to be on nofap - easily the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I'm finding it's also super hard to STOP approach addiction - letting myself be chill and smooth and indifferent to the results of meeting women. Just today, I saw a beautiful girl through my window, said "I have to meet this girl" and went outside on a walk to go meet her. Of course, she was long gone when I got there but it made me stop and think "wtf am I doing?" It's also caused me to resort to online groups (both in the past and very occasionally in the present) when I'm lonely, bored, or just am tired of seeing and talking to the same people all the time (very relevant in this pandemic).

So I finally thought "what if I'm causing my own neediness?" Revolutionary right? But hear me out.

What I have been doing is putting myself in my own state of deprivation.


This has caused the needy behavior. Living with my parents, my dad telling me that maybe I should just stay abstinent, not being able to find high quality guy friends who can challenge me and add value to my life, feeling the shallowness of my relationships with the people around me - all of this has contributed to my own state of deprivation.

If I don't feel like I can have girls over, go on dates with them, and have the logistics handled to have sex with them, of course I'm going to be needy - I'm depriving myself of deep sexual connections!

If I live in a city where I rarely see my age demographic represented in the population, don't have high quality friends that challenge me to be my best, and don't feel like I can truly lower my guard and be myself around people (for fear of being judged) - of course I'm going to be deprived!

In my city, it honestly FEELS super rare to find a single, attractive girl without strings attached. It FEELS like 90% of the women I come across are married, have a bf in a happy relationship, are lesbian, are single mothers, or otherwise are bad news (emotionally broken, etc.). That's because that's all I have come across while being here.

BUT this just means my mental model is flawed. The world is a place of abundance - and luckily for me, the universe is not my family or my city.

There ARE people out there that will challenge me, women that are attractive, emotionally stable, AND single, and there are people who WILL accept me for who I am without questioning my every motive.


This honestly gets to the root of it. Now before I emotionally exhaust myself figuring out what I'm going to do about it, I'm going to take the rest of the day off introspection.

I'll be back on here later this week with a concrete plan on what I'm going to physically do about this. Because I'm not a needy person and this doesn't have to be my life.

Till then,

NBW
 

NewBeeWinner

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
364
Update 5/7/2020:

Hey guys. So I've done some reading and thinking and evaluating and decided on my next course of action.

I will be taking a break (from girls) for the next six months to get some major life things handled first (I'll still read articles on GC so I'm up-to-date). Specifically (and in order):

1) Getting my "dream" job (and negotiating my salary) - I have some contacts helping me out with this actively
2) Establishing my side business and getting to a constant stream of side income (will scale later)
3) In the meantime:

- Getting back into a strong workout, diet, and sleep routine
- Working on my hobbies (photography, piano, martial arts, dancing, etc.) and making connections/social groups

4) As soon as I'm able, moving out of my parents house and finding a place to rent (this requires the job first)
5) Building my social circle groups from my hobbies and connecting with people through things like meetup.com (will tap into these later for girls)
6) Full-blown socializing and dating (after 6 months - 1 year)
7) Saving up to travel and eventually moving away from my hometown

OK. In response to my last post, yes a lot of it was circumstances I can't control. But here is what I can control. I've got the basis for the first 3 things done already, but I'm focusing hard on them for the next 6 months.

For me, being a young man at 22, I'd rather have this foundational base out of the way and solid before I go hardcore on my dating and social life. There's just no way around it. And starting a hardcore dating and social life at 23 (at the latest) isn't bad at all.

So until I have at least goals 1-4 met, I will be off the GC forums.

Wish all the best until I come back,

NBW
 

NewBeeWinner

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
364
Update 7/26/2020:

Hey guys.

I wanted to do an update as it has been two months and today marks day 88 of my nofap goal (a full reboot is considered to be 90 days)!

On the topic of nofap -
This has been an addiction (to porn and masturbation) for over 10 years that I have struggled with. On the point of nofap, I want to say I didn't do it for the "superpowers" people talk about. Nor did I do it because I expected it to be a magic pill that suddenly made me irresistible to women (which if you are on GirlsChase you know it goes much deeper than that). I did it because I wanted to stop being needy towards women and to stop putting pussy on a pedestal. That was my main reason - the "super powers" (greater self control, rebalanced emotions, healthier skin/eyes/sleep habits/testosterone levels, greater muscle mass and quicker recovery times from increased testosterone levels, lessening of social anxiety, greater confidence, less depressive episodes (which I also struggled with for over 10 years), etc.) ALL have come as a side result. And YES, I did go through withdrawals (like you'd see in a drug/alcohol addict). There were nights I had insomnia, cold sweats, spams, uncontrolled shaking, etc. Anyone who tells you it is easy is lying to your face. But I'm a much better man now because of it.

On how it impacted my results with girls -

As seen in my most recent FR, I am much more confident, socially atune, and can lead better. I view myself as the sexual prize much more and am not needy for sex or having a specific girl. I attribute most of this to nofap, but also to really doing deep internal work using GC articles and by figuring out what I want out of life.

Now that I have that out of the way...

I have not gotten a job yet. Honestly, it's been tough and after networking with about 8 different companies in my industry where I live, I've determined that for the sake of better job opportunities (those are the only 8 companies in my industry where I live and a large majority are on hiring freezes due to the corona virus), it is better for me that I move to a different city about 2 hours away from my hometown. Not only is it better for job opportunities (in contrast to 8 companies there are over 20 where I want to move to), but also for:

- Getting away from the toxic aspects of my family
- A better dating life -> over half of the population where I live is married, with 7% of the population being single female households and of those 7% over 90% of the single female population are single moms due to the very high military presence where I live. In contrast, the town I want to move to has over 30% of the population as single women (with less than 5% of which are single mothers) ALL within the age range of women I want to date (ages 18-30).
- A better social life -> The average age where I currently am is 38. In the new town, it is 28 - a 10 year average difference! Plus yes, it is a college town.

So in contrast to my plans two months ago, I will most likely be moving as I am getting my new job and not after.

I am by no means perfect or "there yet" and still have a lot to do (like quitting other smaller addictions and confronting my parents/family about my decision to move). But I've definitely grown a lot in the past few months despite corona virus restrictions.

As of today, I'm putting in a full workout plan (including working out on one day and then doing yoga on recovery days) while also keeping up the running habit I've established during the corona virus. I've already been working out and doing yoga but haven't made it a structured part of my life yet. So that will change today.

I've also made a ton of progress on my hobbies, which has been fun.

But overall, my life is on the right path and although I still have many stressful obstacles to overcome (getting a new job, moving, establishing myself in a new city, building a new social circle, etc), I feel really glad that I'm making progress.

I'll do another update in two months and honestly feel as though I'll reach my goal much quicker than I think.

Wish you all the best during these times,

NBW
 

NewBeeWinner

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
364
Update 8/15/20:

Hey guys. Just a quick update on a mental breakthrough I had today. I've been going through my deep seated feelings of loneliness and I realized today that I have been using women as an escape in my life. Why do I know this? Because given the choice between doing something to better my life situation (like networking with companies to get a job) and going out to the park to meet women for a few hours, I ALWAYS have chosen the latter. In other words, it is to the detriment of the rest of my life and therefore unbalanced.

Does this mean I am going to stop meeting and approaching girls or that I'm going to stop learning seduction. Hell no. (In fact, once I do have my own place and have moved to a better location, I AM going hardcore on my social life).

But,
I am going to start doing the hard things first in my life (getting the job, relocating to a new city, etc.) BEFORE going out to socialize. What does this mean for my interactions? It means that I'll be able to actually enjoy the women I'm spending time with versus looking to always take from that person in order to feel better about my life.

How will this work out in actuality? I don't know. But what I do know is that when I realized this, that deep-seated feeling of loneliness that kept me up at night (literally) got a lot smaller.

That's all.

NBW
 

NewBeeWinner

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
364
Update 8/25:

Alright men. There's just no freaking way I'm having a decent dating life atm and this has been established. Sexy-photos girl is being flaky again so I'm starting to lose interest.

But I value learning game highly. So I've decided to do this: Every day for a week, I'm going to work on the following below, ONE thing at a time:

- Becoming Charismatic (in conversation)
- Thinking optimistically and monitoring my thoughts
- Practicing mentally controlling and inducing feelings in myself (so I can eventually do this in others)
- Mastering use of facial expressions

- Making a habit of working on my voice (I have training things I bought for a couple bucks that last 30 days on this)
- Begin studying into mastering frame control
- Using a variety of eye contact
- Using attractive gestures and pauses in conversation

- Reworking my walk (I have it down but I've been self conscious lately and only now realized that)
- My posture (been doing yoga, which has helped, but I still notice myself having poor posture at times)
- Becoming a more polarizing man
- Hooking introverted women

That's roughly the next 3 months. My goal for myself was to be moved out on my own with a job in a new city by November. That's 3 months from now.

I'll post my results as I work on each one each week.

See you next time,

NBW
 

NewBeeWinner

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
364
Update 9/2/20:

Hey guys. So I'm pretty sure I'm feeling the effects of low momentum.

On my walks and runs out, I've run into about 6 girls the past two days who were actually pretty attractive and I had an opportunity to open (and most I did open), but I couldn't get to the hook point with most of them.

Girl 1 (hooked) - turned out to be getting married in 2 weeks

Girl 2 (didn't hook) - running her dog walking business (I don't know if I just zoned out or what, she had a gorgeous smile but I didn't move things forward quick enough)

Girl 3 (didn't hook) - one I walked right past at a stop light (instead of waiting for her to get to me and staying in place on my phone or something - she was walking towards me from the stoplight)

Girl 4 (didn't hook) - one was a single mom walking with her kid in a stroller

Girl 5 (didn't hook) - one I came across playing frisbee golf with no one around (she was walking away from me towards her destination and I got her to stop, turn, and talk to me, but instead of calling her over to me to ask a question or something, I let her go on her way)

Girl 6 (didn't open) - I was running and she was working in her backyard across the street, stopped everything she was doing, and stared very hard at me for a solid minute while I ran past. I could've opened complimenting her hair (which she had dyed very nicely)

Oh, and I've also cold approached some high school girls who looked older than they were (jail bait isn't worth it!). Good old population statistics!

Anyways, I need to get back on the horse and start getting some wins under my belt again. I haven't had any big wins since the sexy photos girl an entire month ago and I think I'm feeling the effects of that.

I have to be more assertive and dominant - I read a GC article and took two mindsets I need to seriously reinternalize:

1) Think it, do it
2) You're the best thing that is going to happen to her today

I got to get back to at least hooking girls. I mean jeez. I think a piece of it is that I've been trying to do a lot more indirect approaches instead of going direct. It ends up causing me to overthink things in the moment so I'm thinking I need to go back to being direct a bit (at least with girls on the move - girls not moving, I can go indirect).

On the positive side of things: I got rid of another addiction I had and am getting really good responses from random people around me (from my presence). I've had a couple people just start randomly talking to me or opening up to me without me saying more than a few words. I also am getting shown a lot more respect by the men around me (instead of being challenged all the time with eye contact) and can get people to smile at me pretty easily.

So that's that for being charismatic. I found out I can bring the energy in conversation and treat people like their my best friend. But I have to be careful that doesn't carry over too early into texting or something like that where it is perceived as me over-investing too soon. Did that twice, whoops.

Anyways, that's that. Will update if there's any developments. Stay strong and keep moving forward!

NBW
 

NewBeeWinner

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
364
Honestly guys my two biggest issues stem from logistics and lack of aggressiveness/devil-may-care attitude (so even if I go to seduce in an unusual place, I have issues ramping up my aggressiveness).

This comes from a lack of manly male role models in my life and living with my parents. They dictate to me everything to do and I rebel against them so I do have a back bone. But its bad conditioning. Then my dad is just aggressive, a jerk, and a people pleaser who always needs validation from others. How can I be aggressive and set firm boundaries when I just have another man lording over me and putting me in my place all the time? It sickens me but it does affect me, especially now in corona, because of how much Im around them.

Now dont get me wrong. I love my family and they have amazing qualities as well. But I cant ignore these negative things.

So honestly guys I dont think Im going to really get to the next level until I get out on my own, far away from the influence of my family.

Ive tried working on these faults on my own, despite the circumstances and its just not going to stick until I can get a permanant change in my life. I dont want to complain anymore.

So Im back hard again at finding a job (going against literally my entire family in how Im doing it) to eventually move to a new town to get away from them (that they dont know about yet). Im just exhausted. But Im going strong on the job and have some leads so I hope soon (by November was my goal) to be fully moved out and finally free.

Pray for me, wish me luck, and I know the best is yet to come.
 

NewBeeWinner

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
364
Update 9/13/2020:

Hey guys. Made plans to meet with sexy-photos girl again, but her roommate broke up with her boyfriend I guess so she had to make plans with her to help comfort her or whatever. Anyways, I went out with 5 guys friends Friday and then went hiking and hung out again yesterday.

Today, I got to thinking about what I hate about living here - the biggest thing being my lack of dynamic dating life and a dynamic social circle (that is growing and changing). I want to build my social circles here as a test - for a few purposes: to see how I handle leading groups, to bring girls and people my age to me (instead of me going out to search for them doing things I might not even like), and to see how it impacts my dating life here. I'm still going to move to the new city for career purposes and because there will be a LOT more people there. But it's good to test this first where I am before I go out there and try to do the same thing. I'll learn and be able to fix it when I change cities.

I'm also needing to make moves with my parents to get my finances back under order so do a bunch of other stuff in areas of my life. Today I have dedicated to making a list of the things I want to see change in the next year - and then dedicating myself to do one thing a week. So that's what today will go to.

NBW
 

Mr STIF

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 8, 2019
Messages
150
Update 9/13/2020:

Hey guys. Made plans to meet with sexy-photos girl again, but her roommate broke up with her boyfriend I guess so she had to make plans with her to help comfort her or whatever. Anyways, I went out with 5 guys friends Friday and then went hiking and hung out again yesterday.

Today, I got to thinking about what I hate about living here - the biggest thing being my lack of dynamic dating life and a dynamic social circle (that is growing and changing). I want to build my social circles here as a test - for a few purposes: to see how I handle leading groups, to bring girls and people my age to me (instead of me going out to search for them doing things I might not even like), and to see how it impacts my dating life here. I'm still going to move to the new city for career purposes and because there will be a LOT more people there. But it's good to test this first where I am before I go out there and try to do the same thing. I'll learn and be able to fix it when I change cities.

I'm also needing to make moves with my parents to get my finances back under order so do a bunch of other stuff in areas of my life. Today I have dedicated to making a list of the things I want to see change in the next year - and then dedicating myself to do one thing a week. So that's what today will go to.

NBW
Hey Man, your journal is fun. Nice personality by the way. You and I, are in a similar situation at the same time, and having the same passions(pick up).

I still live with my parents, my dad is a bishop in the church. Mean while I'm an atheist.

Now, I'm stuck working a 7am-10pm job with him. He keeps preaching about God and wanting me to do stuffs I hate.

I negotiated a business deal with him, he's an entrepreneur(self employed). We are working to build a solid capital for our business outlets. We took some loans, bought some goods and he's showing me how to run the business. I find it very boring but have to stay put because the rewards are life changing.

I want to negotiate a deal where I do this and we get to split the money, that would come in after we finish paying off our debtors.

I'll definitely be walking away with some million bucks or more than that. I've stopped cold approaching as I don't have logistics to pull the sets to.

I've practiced daygame for some time and became very good at getting phone numbers but no logistics to isolate. Now, that I have a steady flow of income my fashion has improved because I can afford the lifestyle.

I'm going to be on a long dry spell, probably, one year plus some months. I don't know for now until we(I and dad) settle our debtors. Then- we'll have a proper meeting and discuss what my share would be in all of the hustle and tussle? How long do I have to work to get my share and how are we dividing the money?

I work everyday from 7am-10pm.I'm a salesman and I sell food stuffs everyday, I'm the sales manager. A lot of girls wanting to shag me but I'd be either too broke to afford a simple date or afford a comfortable place to escalate- sexually. Right now, I don't even have the time, I'm just stuck in a daily repetitive routine I don't like :confused:

But I know all these 'dislikable' activities I don't like is going to set me up for success. So, heck! I'm doing it. I'll have the financial capital to build more streams of income.

I'm 27 and I set a goal to sort out some stuffs before age 35, according to Chase. So a financial skill is what I'm currently working on.

I completely shut out women, for the main time. When I'm done with this phase of life: I'll go live near a university, have a work from home job on my PC, travel around Africa and other parts of the world, own a blog and YouTube channel about pick up(daygame and social media).

Goodluck to us in fixing the hardest sticking point in game- logistics. Hopefully, there will be improvements financially which will transcend into a better lifestyle and one of abundant options with a ton to choose from.

Cheers
 

NewBeeWinner

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
364
@Mr STIF

Hey man - sorry to hear about your tough situation. It's good you are looking at it positively and as a way to improve your future! I definitely agree logistics is one of those big sticking points right now - but I have a feeling we'll both get through it fine! Here's to the best future seducers ;)

Update 9/21/2020:

Hey guys,

Been busy hanging out with friends going places. Went to another state to check out a dog my buddy is getting so that was interesting lol. Went out with a buddy of mine to a comedy show where he knew some of the comedians - me and this cute girl comedian eye fucked the sexiness out of each other lol. My buddy commented on it to me afterwards that he thinks the girl's name was so-and-so and that he'd ask about her for me. Didn't get to talk to her one-on-one, but the attraction was definitely there. While driving back, she pulled up in a car next to us and waved at me - so I waved back before the light turned green and we went our separate ways. Me and my buddy are going back on 9/28 for another show that I guess is supposed to be much better - so we'll see how that goes. I also got a bit of a rep for my style I guess (my buddy heard people talking about it in part as he was sitting).

The four girls I've gotten numbers of have all turned out empty - sexy photos girl is quiet, the dog walking girl is quiet, one girl flat out never responded to my texts, and the last responded but I have a hunch I'm not going to get anywhere with her. So that's been that.

Went on a walk today because I had to get out of the house and came up behind a somewhat chubby girl. Feeling I wanted a quick win, I was going to approach her but then a very attractive girl running my way came into view so I decided to go for her instead. As she got closer, I went to talk and she said "fuck off" as she continued to run by. So that's my life at the moment Lol

I've decided on two groups I'm going to start - one for coffee and one on photography. I'll be making a meetup group for each and seeing how that turns out. I purchased Hector's King of College book so I've been reading through that to help me gain a bit more understanding on social circle game.

I'm burned out from trying to get a good job. I'm exhausted from talking to people over the phone (often 30 min - 1 hr conversations) and then having them say they'll pass on my resume or get me in contact with someone just to never hear anything again from that company. I have I think at least 6 people at the moment I need to get back to - but I'm burned out. Completely. Searching for a good job and networking as hard as I have has gotten to me. I'm going to probably end up taking a few days to recover before replying.

In the meantime, I had a talk with my parents I'd apply to a few places around here in the meantime to bring in more money (they're not aware of my desire to move yet). So I looked at the job market here and it sucks xD It's absolutely horrid. Out of 1300 jobs I looked at, I applied to 5 (none of which use my degree btw) and already had one rejected. There's maybe 2 of the 5 I'd actually be interested in working in the meantime while I continue to job hunt for the new city. Haven't heard back yet on the rest so we'll see.

So I'm making progress. I'm making progress slowly, but I'm still making progress. Keeping up the exercise and everything else as well btw.

Till the next update,

NBW
 

NewBeeWinner

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
364
9/26/2020 Update:

Hey guys. Got an interview monday for a local job so making progress on that front. Move after that is taking complete control of my finances and getting my own place temporarily here in town.

Ive grown a lot in my faith and beliefs these past weeks and been challenged a lot in my life in multiple areas.

Anyways I dont want to write out an explanation or story so I recently came to this conclusion about seduction. I had to redefine it for myself:

Seduction is the method by which I will evaluate the extent I want a girl in my life.

Thats it. Not how I want to get laid. Not how I bring awesome people into my life (you can do that without seduction afterall).

Yes, sex is the base. But at least this keeps me from doing two things:

1) Making sex everything
2) Comparing myself to others

If seduction is how I evaluate the extent I want a woman in my life, then theres no way I can compare that to someone else. If someone else is getting laid and Im not, its fine. Because what do I do if I want to get laid? Go seduce.

It sounds stupid and simple but damn man sometimes you need a better reason than "I want to get laid" or "Im doing this only for my pleasure" to continue doing this stuff. At least I do. I cant just use people for my pleasure, but Im also not at the point of being exactly selfless so this is the best I got.

I just came to this conclusion after stressing over the fact that it feels like a lot of the stuff I do in life isnt meaningful. Anyways to avoid sob stories and existential dread, that was my conclusion to give seduction a deeper meaning and I wanted to record it so here I am.

Till next time,

NBW
 

NewBeeWinner

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
364
Update 10/5:

Well I got back on and then almost immediately fell off the online dating train again. Lol.

I also relapsed on nofap so I'm beginning to build up my streak again. On the job front, had an interview for here in town, but they gave the job to someone else. Still keeping up on my outreach to the new town. I've also decided to start up a side business on proofreading, so I'm studying to do that. Also been going strong on running and my fitness.

Today, I decided to see if it's just that I don't run into women or if I'm running into them, but just not approaching. After a few days of looking at it (especially today), it's a bit of both:

1) I SAW one woman I could've approached this morning (but she had some other people with her and ran past me before I even noticed her). I haven't even seen one other woman I could approach today.
2) These past few days, I have seen women I could've approached (with approach signals and all) but I decided against it because I had family around me or was with friends (I don't like being rude to them by suddenly leaving to go say hi to a girl).

Now there was a day I could've approached but didn't. It was during the time between a business call and picking up my grandma to go somewhere. During that short timeframe, I could've approached two girls who were obviously interested, but didn't.

So I wanted to get into doing Chase's "approach 4 women a day" challenge to rebuild my momentum, but I have to change where I'm looking for women or something.

I'm back to this list of:

- Library (do once a week to get books)
- Parks (I go here everyday anyways)
- Hiking trails (do once a week - any more is too exhausting)
- Coffee Shops (I need to visit a few to prep for my social circle I'm making - visit 2 times a week)
- Social Events/Activity Groups (as they come up)
- Occasionally stores/food (when I actually need to buy something, once a week)
- lounges (haven't visited too many here - will have to look into)

OK. So I'm tired of complaining so let's do something here. I'm getting all the work I need done by 3 PM every day. So for the evenings (until 7 PM when it gets too dark to see), the above gives me enough to go out at least 5 times a week.

Will update as I meet women.

NBW
 

NewBeeWinner

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
364
Update 10/21:

Jeez these past few weeks have flown by. Haven't updated in a while.

On the women side of things

Well, I visited the library and it's basically shut down so no meeting women there (all you can do is go in, find a book, and check out - you can't even sit down because they have everything wrapped in wrap Lol). Haven't gotten to visit any lounges or hiking trails either.

Also, meeting women at the stores has been crazy and I haven't had a chance to go to any new coffee shops. Instead, I have been going out with my social circle a bit more and doing more on that realm. I've started initiating the meetups and making plans to be a bit of the leader of the group and it's leading to some cool opportunities - like cheaper trips (the group went to yellow stone a bit back and are going to the X games and a hot springs visit for just a bit over $100 a person - super cheap for a multiple day trip that includes all costs).

Visited a new secret bar yesterday with the group, which was cool. And I also helped my best friend bounce out of his depression of breaking off a 2 year relationship, so now's he's back into finding a girl to date. So with that, I'm going to try to go out with him to game a bit downtown (and the next town over) on the weekends occasionally when I can (so I can actually get some approaches back in, jeez).

I did get into a conversation with an older woman (probably late 30s) who was married and we were going to grab a drink tonight, but she had to work late (whether or not I'd have sex with her - probably not. But I need some momentum so it's good for that!) Also seen the dog walking girl today and talked a bit with her. She wanted me to text her tonight so we'll see.

On the work side of things, I have an interview lined up for my dad's work on Friday. Made it through the first interview today, so that was good. It'll be a good paying job (more than enough to move out) straight out of college so I'm hopeful there. Also have been working on this proofreading side business, so hopefully will have that up and running within the next month or so. To help supplement, I'm also helping my buddy's grandparent's move for a couple hundred bucks, going to donate some blood for a couple hundred bucks, and have side work in my back pocket working construction/paint jobs with my uncle in case I need that.

All in all, it's not been too bad. I've been staying busy and it feels good honestly. I'm really looking forward to getting a job and getting moved out just to have my own space and to start really going hard on my side businesses (after the proofreading one, I'm going to build up a photography side business, since I already have people asking me for photos all the time). Women are great and I really enjoy them, so I'm really looking forward to finally having my logistics down. Just takes some of the pressure off me. So once I get this job in place, I'm going to get GC's The Dating Artisan to really help kick me back into the dating game. I look forward to the rest of this year and the next!

P.S. With me going out and seeing so many older (I say older and I mean like 30-40s - older to me OK?) women here, whenever I see a girl around my age (early to mid 20s), I have such trouble not glossing over them because they look like high school girls to me xD Just something interesting I've noticed, especially with me going out with a variety of aged women (like the later 30 y.o. married women above). Gotta catch them all I guess!
 

NewBeeWinner

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
364
Update 10/29/20:

Hey guys - good news from today.

on the women side of things

Going out to get drinks with the married woman sunday night. Going to implement what I learned from the guys in the General board on Monday for the other two girls. Went out today and got in three approaches - two were women who were married (so I didn't go further) and the third was a girl who I didn't find super attractive. I cut things short with her because of that when I guess I could've gotten her number just to build momentum.

I also ran across a few girls out running, but had issues stopping them, especially if they had headphones in or something. Something to work more on (my "street" stops).

on the job side of things

Got a job! It's still here in town, but I am getting paid exactly the salary that I was going to negotiate for and also the benefits as well (which are really good!). So I'm super happy about that! It's double what I would've gotten if I just took whatever job came my way.

The next steps are to get out from under my parents financially, to move out (I already told my buddy and we are looking at places like yesterday), and to start seriously putting time into my side businesses (which I'm super excited to do). I'm hoping to get to a different part of town so that I can be surrounded my more attractive women (they usually are on the more expensive areas of town).

So I'm super happy and excited! I can finally make steps forward towards my goals!!!

NBW
 

NewBeeWinner

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
364
Update 10/31:

Just a quick update today. Met two women on a walk - got two numbers and two dates set up for next weekend, so hopefully those work out Lol. I'm excited for Halloween and hope everyone has a great day! I'm getting together w family and then possibly going to a party later tonight. Until then, I'm chilling and working on my side business.

NBW
 

NewBeeWinner

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
364
Update 11/3:

Alright, just to summarize these past few days:

- ball in sexy-photos girl's court
- ball in dog walker girl's court
- went on date with married woman, but FU and didn't hear back on follow-up text
- girl from my first "LR" hit me up on IG after liking some of my photos (it's been a few years). We texted a bit back n forth n I went to set up something for this week with her, but haven't heard back yet. I'm going to give her a week before following up
- got the two dates this weekend as mentioned above

I figured out the best times for me to go for walks to meet people are 7-9 AM and 3-5 PM (the very start and end of the day, as it gets dark now at 5:30 PM). So I'll be doing that more.

I want to visit a MMA gym here in town that looks pretty good. Idk if they're open with covid, but hopefully they are because I really do need something I can channel my aggressive side into. I don't have anything like that atm.

Making progress slowly but surely on my proofreading business.

It getting dark at 5:30 PM is absolutely maddening for me. I hate it. I'm staying busy but being with my parents during this time is pretty maddening at times. I need new interaction with people and I'm just not getting that quantity or quality I need with it being covid/winter.

I did approach a girl today, but she was married. Discovered some new trails here in town though, which was neat.

My buddy got a girl off Tinder that he's looking to date like a few days after downloading it. I don't get it. I redownloaded a couple dating apps, and surprise surprise, nothing! I got a few matches but they haven't led anywhere.

Guess some guys just do better in different arenas.

What a week. And it's only Tuesday.

NBW
 

NewBeeWinner

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
364
Update 11/4:

I really am disgusted by myself. I realized I really hate putting off dates. Like seriously hate it. It stems from me not pushing harder for same day dates.

I got a girls number today but no reply to my opener text. Said she wouldnt be free until next week, so I'll use the new phone call method on her Monday.

Same thing with the IG gram. No reply from her yet. Going to use the phone call method.

Im sick of it. Im sick of constantly having to push things off for later.

So I set up a few automatic messages for the upcoming dates and stuff to send out. Im going to contact Married woman Friday, make plans to go out with another girl Saturday afternoon, again with another girl Sunday, then text and call the IG girl and girl I met today on Monday to get them out that night or the next few days.

Im going to push myself to ask out at least 2 girls a day for a same day date instead of going for a phone number. This needs to become a habit. I did it for a while, but it fell off.

Im so sick of being passive waiting around for dates. Im done.



In summary, Ive realized that getting phone numbers can make you lazy. Make it feel like youre making progress. And yeah, maybe for a while that is true. Ive had weeks where I had a date scheduled every day and it felt pretty great. But you know what feels even better?

Meeting a girl and then fucking her that same day. Getting a phone number means nothing.

NBW
 
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NewBeeWinner

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
364
Update 11/5:

Was excited to go try and get some same day dates today. Woke up and went to the trails. Only came across one girl I could've opened (but I let her go). Didn't run across anyone else I could've opened for the next hour (lots of elderly or people I see there often). Then I decided to drive around to some different parks and saw an attractive woman walking up the road, so I pulled over at the next turn and got out and went to go open her, but she had headphones on and completely just ignored me. After this, I got lost in the neighborhood and my directions app on my phone would NOT work. I turned it off and on multiple times and it WOULD NOT WORK. I was getting frustrated, said screw it, and just drove my way around until I found my way out - taking another 15 minutes to do so.

So then I went to the park near my house and again, there was another attractive woman. But again, she just totally blew me off and ignored me. And then just as I was about to leave, I saw another girl walking in the distance, so I ran up and caught up with her. Me and her then had a great conversation as we walked, but long and behold - she has a boyfriend and isn't comfortable getting drinks with me. So then talking with her made me late to an appointment I had by a couple of minutes and then I had to reschedule that. And then my mom found out I was late so now she's pissed off at me.

So, so far today has just sucked. I'm just frustrated.

Hopefully the rest of my day goes better.

NBW
 

NewBeeWinner

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
364
Update 11/8:

Rest of my previous post's day was just as wild btw.

Updates on girls:

- Sexy photos girl n dog walking girl still havent heard from.

- Both dates for the weekend I have to reschedule (one made plans for whatever reason n the other had to spend it doing homework).

-Married woman got really serious about how shes married n "doesnt play games" so we went our separate ways.

- IG girl (my first "LR") no reply yet. Also hit up another girl on IG, so we'll see idk.

I havent really run into any new girls I could approach (but didnt). I talked to one married woman n I seen a girl with her mom and saw two attractive girls who had their kids with them. Didnt approach the mom girl or single moms.

I did visit a new coffee shop that seems promising. Went there with a buddy today and saw a few attractive young women. So I'll be visiting there more.

I havent been meeting any new women going between the five parks around where I live. So Im going to spend more gas and go further out to larger parks, starting tomorrow. Hopefully this can bring in some new leads as well.

On the weekend, Im going to try downtown and another park that I know for sure has attractive women (but its a 30-40 min drive one way, which is why I dont regularly do it).

Honestly, my biggest problem atm is quantity. Im not running into enough women throughout my day (no where close to be able to consistently approach 4 a day).

I could update on other things, but Im tired.

NBW
 
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