NewBeeWinner: From Rock Bottom to The Stars

[NewBeeWinner]

Update Oct 1,

Hey guys, happy October! Im super excited fall is here. I havent really met any new women these past few days - Ive been slammed with homework and exams and projects.

Yesterday, I was honestly pretty depressed - whats the point if I spend most of my day at work and school and then I have to go home and have homework to do or exams to study for? I have very little time to go out but even if I do, whats the point? Unless she has her own place, I cant bring her back home. I could do a car escalation but that requires more time, comfort, and compliance, which makes everything more difficult. Then, most college girls schedules are busy, so theres that. It makes me wonder whats even the point anymore.

But I realized this morning: I have to. I have to keep at least meeting new women and trying to go on dates. Even if I may not have a good chance getting laid, I still have to try. Even if Im limited to one building on campus, I still have to try. I cant stop meeting women - its something I truly enjoy and need to give myself the greatest chance of success in the future. When I dont at least do that, I feel my life is only my job and school - and I hate that.

So I have to.

NBW

 

[NewBeeWinner]

Update 8/3-

Hey guys. Had some stuff come up again with the crazy girl from before, so now Im even further limited on campus and now logistically pretty much cant meet women there anymore.

Its honestly crushing to me and my social life. But I'll try to go out in the evenings if my homework load isnt too much...

Im seriously depressed about this. I hate it that I have to wait until graduation to move out and be free of this stupid obssessed girl. Im missing soo many opprotunities to go out with girls its seriously messing with me.

I went out tonight to my church group - theres maybe 3 new prospects I can work on. After that I went to a free movie showing and met a cute single mom - it had been her first night out in year because she takes care of her autistic son. She came with her neighbor friend, a military husbands wife new to the area. We had a great convo but I didnt do much to move things forward after the movie...

Anyways this whole thing with school is seriously dropping my drive to meet and talk to women - especially knowing how much harder it is because I cant pull to my own place.

Its seriously messing with me. I hate this. I want to be more aggressive in getting women but just feel like theres no point.

Thats all for this update.

NBW

 

[NewBeeWinner]

Update 8/6:

hey guys. busy weekend this week. went to another city to hang and party with family yesterday (saturday) and went to a concert today after getting back. At the concert, there was tons of cute girls and it made me slightly upset that Im not fucking them all.

But onto girl updates. Still trying to plan a date that works with the three girls (single mom, mall girl, and actress lady i met at the dog park thats super busy). Im texting them tomorrow to get their schedule for this week.

I redownloaded Tinder. Got 4 new matches. Think I fucked up one (just no text back yet) and two more I havent got a second response back yet. The last one was interesting.

This girl replied and goes "oh I rememebr you!". I didnt remember her so I said "?" and apparently we met on the shuttle on campus a long time back. She also texted me after saying "oh I think I have your number still!" and so she did lol. She had a boyfriend when I originally met her and apparently is looking for a new one. She told me "Youre super super cute" and the days shes avalible. Im going to try and meet her Thursday evening (since no classes Friday).

Anyways, thats all. Im super freaking busy with homework and honestly hate every last bit of it. Im so ready to be done. Even if I wasnt restricted on campus, I honestly dont think Id have the time to really put in to meet women on campus. Idk I dont want to use it as an excuse but Im legitamately busy.

NBW

 

[NewBeeWinner]

Update 10/7:

Hey guys. So I texted the four girls (mall, dog park, single mom, tinder) and got two responses today (dog park - an apology, saying she has time wednesday evening and single mom, an update on her weekend). I was suprised tinder girl didnt respond, but she will probably in the next few days. Same with the mall girl.

I got four tinder matches w no response.


I was thinking about it guys and I honestly think I wont have the time to go out and do day/night game until I finish my degree.

SO Im going to spend these next three months focusing on my classwork, internship, and work. Im literally swamped with things to do.

BUT this doesnt mean Im giving up. I love women too much for that.

THEREFORE, I am going to work on fixing one of my weaker fundamentals, my voice WHILE building up my online dating skills. Im using bonus resources from one date I purchased to do so.

This will be my focus the next month or so as a trial period (while still going out on weekends, talking to girls in church group and coworkers group - i. e. social circle, and trying to meet women at Starbucks, etc. if I decide to do homework there).

Heres to building the life I want.

NBW

 

[NewBeeWinner]

Update 10/8:

Honestly broke down today. Got into a fight with my parents and anyways I get where they're coming from. Everyone just wants me to get my degree because of all the benefits and I "only have two months left" as though that's such a short amount of time (obviously we value time differently). I get it. I "have" the friends and "the girls will come" is where I know its all just bs. "You're not the only one in the boat. There's tons of people doing what you are" well great for them. But maybe what I really want is something different. I can't be content just going to work for half my day to earn a living all my life struggling to make deep relationships and get what I really want from life. I can't be happy doing what everyone else does. "Most people meet their significant other at work anyways" which is true but I know how much bs that statement has. But I spend enough time complaining about it all.

So I apologize for this Journal becoming a bit of an outlet for me. I won't let that be a thing anymore. I can definitely see that the defining line between me and everyone around me is that I desire my life to consistently become better while everyone else becomes content and feels like they're doing the best with what life gave them. Not that there's anything wrong with that - it's just not the life for me.

Yes, I'm going to finish my degree. Yes, I hate the circumstances and feel super lonely while at school because i feel I can't work on my seduction or even my socialization skills - but people who don't have those desires to become better in those areas won't understand that. I get it that I have to "keep on keeping on". It's "only" two months - as though that's some short amount of time (and yes, in the long term it is. But you still have to live it day by day).

So from this maybe I do need to work on being more appreciative and reward myself more for the small accomplishments that I achieve. I'm so focused on the final goal of having a successful harem with new girls in rotation, as a excellent seducer who has the job, his finances handled, and is traveling the world meeting people and making an impact in their lives in only the way he can, that I fail to reward myself for the small things. So maybe I need to treat myself better and not be so hard on myself.

So maybe I should start saying 3 things I appreciate every morning before I wake up and every night before I go to bed. Maybe I do need to spend a bit before bed meditating and relaxing and focusing on visualizing myself accomplishing my goals - both long and short term. Maybe I need to set better, more specific short term goals for myself and then reward myself once I achieve those goals. Maybe I should try harder to be happy for others instead of being jealous of them. That's so hard and I honestly need to revisit this area because I'm so angry guys. I'm so jealous.

I don't know what to say besides OK. This is where I am.

NBW

 

[NewBeeWinner]

Update 10/10:

Today was a very cold, snowy day and I got into an accident - luckily there wasn't any visible damage. I ended up having my mom take me to the adult group I go to there and it's interesting guys - I'm so much more in tune with the subtext in conversations.

So the pastor guy who attempted to kick me out because of my beliefs on sex before marriage again preached on that - this time much more directly (although indirect, subtext). It was a message of how people can show love but not have the truth in them and therefore not be walking with God. Of how people who teach against the teachings of Christ should not be associated with, talked to, greeted, that they should be made separate from the group (which made me think of his choice to try to do that with me). But he says we should still love them, but not associate with them - so that's a good contradiction. It also goes against the entire main message of the teaching of Christ but OK. He then brought up sex before marriage as a direct example.

But then things got interesting. The church girl from all past had recently messaged me on Instagram saying how she was sexually frustrated and I basically told her look, you can shut up about being frustrated and not have sex until marriage or you can have sex - make a decision and stop being indecisive (said much more gracefully but that was the message). I also let her know I've been sexual with and have had sex with girls from the church group (which I have because yes, girls who go to church want sex too). But anyways, the pastor brought up this girl by name and said that he's been texting with her (she's currently in another part of the state) because she's struggling with this. She was looking for a group there to be with and she had asked him (after talking with me, though I don't know if she said me by name to him) if anyone in the group at the church had been having sex. He told her no and if they were they needed to come so he could show them "what the bible says". Subtext: I'm texting this girl and I know what is going on (possibly, if she mentioned me by name) Translation: I'm not talking to this girl anymore (at least until I'm out of here in the new city)

But anyways, we all hang out after the message is given and the pastor guy doesn't approach me about things. I talk with my group of guy friends and they want me to go to a concert with them this weekend, so I'll see how it goes. But I noticed that this girl in the corner of my eye subtly stealing glances my way and putting her hair behind her ear and that she was with a friend - both of them were cute. So I made a mental note and sent a couple glances here and there her way. I noticed the two go and stand around a table of a guy I had met a while back I really wanted to say hi to tonight and I took the chance after finishing my conversation with my friends to go over once I noticed one more guy join the table (so I could still be following my agreement to have guys in the group when I talk to girls). I patted the guy on the back and the girls introduced themselves to me. This leads to my second subtext interaction of the night.

I noticed very clearly the difference in conversation style between me and my guy friend (the one who joined the table later). I asked the girls about how long they had been coming, what their motivation was, commented on the girls hair and clothing (she said she was very introverted). She was nervous saying it and I could tell it made her awkward a bit so I said "hey its OK you can lie to me if you want" and she said "oh no. I'd never lie to you" so I said that was a good thing Her friend was less interested but this girl gave off all sorts of signs of her interest - strong eye contact, playing with her hair, body facing me, etc. They asked a couple questions of me - and I realized afterward that they never once asked my guy friend a question about himself. I kept it vague - like they asked how long I had been coming and I said "oh too long" so they then asked about how often people rotate out of the group, to which my guy friend began a long explanation which bored them so we changed topics. We got onto the topic of facial hair somehow and they said they didn't like only mustaches - my friend then started to talk about this amazing mustache his uncle has and in my head I just kept going - nope, don't do that. So then I asked about their preferences then and they said it depended on the guy. The interested girl was playing heavily with her necklace so I asked her "so whats the story behind your necklace you've been playing with?" and she said she does it when she's nervous and stepped forward to show it to me. I stepped forward and got close to her (we were across from each other) and her hands were shaking pretty bad so I took it from her and examined it, feeling it. She talked about how it felt so I said "yeah this is super cool, it really does feel soft and you can squeeze it" (sexual undertones). Her friend then interjected and said "I want to see! Oh you're right it does!" and I brought up a follow up comment that was more low-key sexual about it. We then got interrupted by the pastor guy who had been watching everything go on saying he needed to lock up so we could talk and leave.

So we began to head out. I said hi to the cool dude I wanted to say hi to and on the way out of the door, my guy friend held it open for me and gave me the "I see what you did there" look and then he patted me on the back without saying anything. I then had to get a ride back home so I didn't join them all out to eat.

But anyways, it showed me how much more in tune I am with the subtext of the conversation and how much better i am at reading body language and signals girls give off - also in the flow of the conversation and how to properly manage it. It also shows the point that CHURCH GIRLS LIKE SEX TOO (just saying).

That was all for today~

NBW

 

[NewBeeWinner]

Update 10/14:

Thanks to help from the boards, I have a date planned for Friday with the single mom. I also have a tentative date for tomorrow with the girl I met at the mall. The third girl from Tinder I knew previously has found a guy so I missed my shot. The fourth girl I went on the informational date with I haven't heard back from on her schedule, so I'm going to give her about a week of silence before reaching out to her again (sending a high value text).

OK - the days are getting shorter guys. Where I live, it gets dark around 6:30 - 7:00 PM. I generally get home around 5:30 PM and then after eating dinner, its 6:00 PMish. So I only have about 30 min - 1 hour that's good for day gaming. I'm going to try and take advantage of this time at the dog park or maybe I'll stop at a store or two on my way home.

But to supplement this, like I've been trying to say and do, I want to hop on the online game bus. Tinder and Bumble will be my focuses I think. I can't really do night game, don't have the logistics for it, and I need my sleep (otherwise I would if I didn't work mornings and have classes). So I'm going to be revamping my profile, getting quality pictures taken, and following some of the guides that have shown up on the boards here and on GC bonus material from the One Date.

Will update as things change.

NBW

 

[NewBeeWinner]

Update 10/15:

Hey guys. Will have to reschedule (again) with the mall girl. Here's the convo:

Her: "Hey, are we still on? Because it may be a little difficult for me to make it today. "
Her: "Actually, I can still do it, but I'll only be able to stay for like 30 minutes or so unfortunately. Is that still ok? And yes, that works perfectly (I told her where we'd meet)"
Her: "Also, my text messages are being really weird right now so if I don't answer you I'm so sorry. (laughing emoji)"
Me: "Hey! I'm glad you're excited to meet I am too "
Me: "but let's do it when neither of us are pressured for time"
Her: "Are you sure?"
Me: "yeah. I want us to enjoy our time together, not be worried about other things"
Me: "sound good?"
Her: "Ah, I agree. I feel really bad though. "
Me: "yeah this is the 3rd or 4th time we've had to reschedule. Tell you what,"
Me: "since I'm not good at this whole "chase you around to get your schedule" thing and you feel bad, text me when you are available and we'll go from there"
Me: "you still owe me a coffee from before too (tongue stick out emoji)"
Her: "oof, yeah. I guess I owe you two now, huh?"

I'm not going to respond.

I was thinking about it - whether or not to be OK with a 30 minute meet (mainly because we haven't seen each other in so long). BUT decided no for a couple reasons:

1) that's dating on her terms, not mine
2) shows I"m needy to meet her, no matter whether or not that is useful for me
3) I can't escalate to sex in 30 minute coffee date (i.e. my chances of closing go way down)
4) first date is your best chance to close, so I don't want to mess it up

I was thinking about my informational date with the other girl and how I haven't heard back yet for a second date. I'm giving her a week of radio silence before I give her a call, but I may have messed it up by not moving things forward and going back to her place (which I could've done) and instead planning for only an hour because I had homework to do. I greatly lowered my chances for a second date, even though it went well. Hopefully I get a response and I can close on the second date, but I should NEVER rely on that. I don't know why I still made that simple mistake.

I also began to do 4 things before I go to bed every night
1) Rolling out my body with a roller. Highly recommend - keeps my body relaxed and body language relaxed
2) saying 3 things I'm thankful for - I find that once I do this, I can't go back and say I'm not grateful for it
3) Visualizing the conquest - imaging my dates going all the way through the close and after. Have to be careful with this - gets me too horny
4) Meditating - I find this helps me increase my focus and focus on the moment to be present

Didn't meet any new women today sadly. Going to work on changing that.

NBW

 

[NewBeeWinner]

Update 10/18/19:

So I've been doing the body rolling, imagining the conquest, saying what I'm thankful for, and meditation before going to bed for about a week now.
I really enjoy it and find it helps me to be more relaxed and aware of when I am tense or my body is tight. I am also more mindful of when I catch myself in constant thought.

I want to start adding in an adjustment to my morning routine:

- Waking up at 5 AM
- Taking a cold shower (I was doing these consistently a while ago but fell out of it after life hit me)
- Going for a run (Mon, Wed, Fri) or the Gym (Tues, Thurs) before 7 (why? because I work at 7 on Tues/Thurs)

Along with my running, I'm going to be working towards doing a 5K run (that's my goal with running).

I also am getting back on the no fap train. I had a 40 day streak and then broke it about a week ago after getting depressed seeing that it had been 40 days with nothing significant happening in my dating life. I haven't fapped since I broke the streak (its been about 5 days). But that line of thought made me realize my thoughts towards my current situation have just been crappy. I've constantly been down.

So finally, I'm going to challenge myself every time I see a couple to be happy for them and not think about how jealous I am (to begin working on that jealousy so it doesn't turn into bitterness). This is honestly super hard.

AND finally, an update on how things went with the four girls (mall girl, tinder girl, dog park woman, and single mom):

- Mall girl I sent a ball in your court message to because this is the 4th time I've had to reschedule
- Single mom I sent a ball in your court message to because I also had to reschedule for the 4th time (and she said she was super busy so we didn't meet tonight)
- Dog Park woman I haven't heard back from for a second date (I'm going to call her tomorrow). This is another reminder to not make stupid mistakes.
- Tinder girl I lost because I didn't set up the date when the iron was hot. Another mess up.

So 2/4 ball in her court. The other 2/4 I messed up on.

Kind of sucks but I'm at a point where I just want to meet more women so I can keep going.

The girl I laid from my church group reached out to me the other day and I have tentative plans to see her tomorrow.

I also have a goal to go out tomorrow and take better pictures of myself for Tinder/Bumble/my graduation announcements (2 months left)!

That's all for this update.

Thanks for all your guys' support!!

NBW

 

[NewBeeWinner]

Update 10/24:

Hey guys. Been about a week. Honestly, I was super busy with classes. I haven't met any new women.

My desire to meet women right now is at an all time low. I'm tired of having to put so much effort in just to have the women I do take out on a date not work out. I don't want to repeat the same things I've been saying so I won't.

I also find I don't have the desire or force to push things forward on dates and then I don't hear from them again.

On the positive side, I have been meditating and everything. I did hangout with the girl from my church group and ended up fingering her in my car. But there was a shit ton of cars for whatever reason at almost midnight at the park (dumb park choice, I've learned) so we didn't get too far.

I feel like shit because there's girls interested but I don't feel like moving things forward because in the back of my mind I know I won't get farther than maybe a car escalation with them. Its just holding me back mentally a ton guys.

I don't feel allowed to talk to girls at school, church, or to bring girls home or go spend the night at their place. So I just feel super constricted and demotivated right now.

A lot has happened this past week but I don't want to type it all so I'll end it here.

I want to do more guys. I know I can push more but everything is against me right now and I just have no motivation at the moment.

I'll update as things change.

NBW

 

[NewBeeWinner]

Update 10/27:

Hey guys. Just got back from a Halloween party last night. I honestly don't remember a ton, but do remember some things (like one dude falling into the fire pit!). In terms of girls, there was a few (a lot of them taken) but I immediately had a connection with one girl. I don't remember much but I do remember her telling me I'm cute, grabbing her ass in conversation, and we both passed out on the same couch. Her legs and everything were pretty fine and it reminded me (along with my 13 day no fap streak) that damn I'm horny af and won't ever be giving up this seduction journey anytime soon.

And so here's what I'm going to do:

1) To be transparent, I haven't been taking the cold morning showers or going on the runs (because its cold af outside) BUT that's no excuse for not going to the gym before work (Tues/Thurs) or to not take cold showers. So yes I will start doing these beginning tomorrow

2) I'm going to spend two hours after work (5-7, it gets dark at 6:30) Mon-Fri going out. Each day, I will go to two venues, one hour each. For each venue, I will have one primary goal to focus on at that venue. Weekends I will save for dates / going to more venues as I can.

Then I will spend 7-10 relaxing, doing hw, etc.

I'll write down my goals the day before the week starts and then take notes on my phone after going out about how the outing went, who I talked to, how far I got, etc. I'll the write a weekly summary of those field notes here (or in the Field Report board if anything relevant happens). I'll start tracking my stats.

That's all for now.

NBW

 

[NewBeeWinner]

For those interested, here's my venue choices:

Monday - Grocery Stores
Tuesday - Clothing Stores
Wednesday - Starbucks near my campus and the public library
Thursday - my church group followed by this cool place called the social (they do free movie showings every Thursday)
Friday - Happy Hour at the Bars
Saturday - Mall/bookstore/shopping area
Sunday - Downtown/other venues

 

[NewBeeWinner]

Update 11/1/19:

Hey all! Happy post-Halloween

A quick update, as I said I would every week.

1) I've been taking the cold showers and getting back into that routine.
2) As for going out, Mon-Wed we had a winter storm and it wasn't safe to drive on the roads (so yea I didn't go to work, my internship, class, or out - both campus and my internship closed). Yesterday was Halloween and I just hung out with family. AND TO TOP IT OFF, I'm getting sick with a head cold. So I feel stuffy, my nose is running, I have a headache, and my throat is tightening up. So no going out tonight Instead, I'm going to sleep and drink warm fluids.

So that was this week - a total failure in terms of going out.

Hopefully this weekend I start to feel better and I can go out!

NBW

 

[ElderPrice]

Update 10/24:

Hey guys. Been about a week. Honestly, I was super busy with classes. I haven't met any new women.

My desire to meet women right now is at an all time low. I'm tired of having to put so much effort in just to have the women I do take out on a date not work out. I don't want to repeat the same things I've been saying so I won't.

I also find I don't have the desire or force to push things forward on dates and then I don't hear from them again.

On the positive side, I have been meditating and everything. I did hangout with the girl from my church group and ended up fingering her in my car. But there was a shit ton of cars for whatever reason at almost midnight at the park (dumb park choice, I've learned) so we didn't get too far.

I feel like shit because there's girls interested but I don't feel like moving things forward because in the back of my mind I know I won't get farther than maybe a car escalation with them. Its just holding me back mentally a ton guys.

I don't feel allowed to talk to girls at school, church, or to bring girls home or go spend the night at their place. So I just feel super constricted and demotivated right now.

A lot has happened this past week but I don't want to type it all so I'll end it here.

I want to do more guys. I know I can push more but everything is against me right now and I just have no motivation at the moment.

I'll update as things change.

NBW

I know this is from a week or so ago, but just saw this. Haven't been on the boards much the last month.

We all have points like this. I was just in one a month or so ago. It's actually pretty fascinating when you go through these dips a number of times - you notice how even just one new girl as a prospect can be all it takes to snap you out of it.

If your 'desire to meet women' is down, what that really translates to is something like 'I've been expending so much energy to [specific goal - most likely in this case, to put my dick in a pussy] and it doesn't seem to be making a difference." Or in other words, it's like hacking away at a tree with an axe and it just won't fall over. Or watching a pot that never boils. Eventually it reaches a point of stress where you say "fuck this" and walk away.

So my recommendation when you hit a wall like this is to change up your specific goal. Instead of thinking about the 10,000 steps to get a girl in bed, go out for as long as you need and just play different games. Play for the fun of it. Example: See how many kisses on the lips you can get in a club one night - NOT in the sense of 'hey baby let's make out then head to my place,' but in the sense of 'I wonder how fast I can walk up to a girl and get a peck on the lips.' The reason I say this suggestion is because it really helps get game out of your head and not have it feel so seriously like life and death. When you realize just what you can get by walking up and asking in a funny, non-sexual way, it gives an interesting reference point. I hope it makes sense what I'm trying to communicate here.

Another example of a different goal would be to meet women just to make friends with hot girls. You'll still be meeting women and you'll still need to be charming so that they're cool befriending you, and in return you just might get plugged in to their social circle of other hot girls, and you might get some valuable sources of feedback. Not to mention the great pre-selection.

Another thought: I think I saw you mention 'car escalation' a lot in your previous few posts that I read. Forgive me if I don't remember, but is this because you don't have a place of your own to pull to? If so, another alternative goal can be simply working on your ability to pull to their place.

 

[NewBeeWinner]

I know this is from a week or so ago, but just saw this. Haven't been on the boards much the last month.

We all have points like this. I was just in one a month or so ago. It's actually pretty fascinating when you go through these dips a number of times - you notice how even just one new girl as a prospect can be all it takes to snap you out of it.

If your 'desire to meet women' is down, what that really translates to is something like 'I've been expending so much energy to [specific goal - most likely in this case, to put my dick in a pussy] and it doesn't seem to be making a difference." Or in other words, it's like hacking away at a tree with an axe and it just won't fall over. Or watching a pot that never boils. Eventually it reaches a point of stress where you say "fuck this" and walk away.

So my recommendation when you hit a wall like this is to change up your specific goal. Instead of thinking about the 10,000 steps to get a girl in bed, go out for as long as you need and just play different games. Play for the fun of it. Example: See how many kisses on the lips you can get in a club one night - NOT in the sense of 'hey baby let's make out then head to my place,' but in the sense of 'I wonder how fast I can walk up to a girl and get a peck on the lips.' The reason I say this suggestion is because it really helps get game out of your head and not have it feel so seriously like life and death. When you realize just what you can get by walking up and asking in a funny, non-sexual way, it gives an interesting reference point. I hope it makes sense what I'm trying to communicate here.

Another example of a different goal would be to meet women just to make friends with hot girls. You'll still be meeting women and you'll still need to be charming so that they're cool befriending you, and in return you just might get plugged in to their social circle of other hot girls, and you might get some valuable sources of feedback. Not to mention the great pre-selection.

Another thought: I think I saw you mention 'car escalation' a lot in your previous few posts that I read. Forgive me if I don't remember, but is this because you don't have a place of your own to pull to? If so, another alternative goal can be simply working on your ability to pull to their place.

Hey ElderPrice,

Yeah - I like your suggestions. Those are really good ideas I haven't considered. I'll definitely implement those and see how it works for me. And yes, I don't have a place of my own to pull to (currently working towards that). But I definitely could work more on pulling to their place and was thinking about that more. Thanks for the feedback! It helps to realize I don't have to treat this so life and death like. I'm taking all the joy out of the seduction and it shows. Thanks

 

[NewBeeWinner]

Update (11/4/2019):

Hey guys. So life has been crazy and yada yada yada.

I met with the church girl the other day and she made the comment that "I never make a move" (and I didn't the other day, even tho I fingered her the last time we met and she sent me a text thanking me for that night) and that really got to me. I began to question everything - my manhood, what it means to be a man, if I'm even as sexual of a guy as I think I am, if doing no fap is even helping, why I'm so tired all the time, what I prioritize in life, etc. etc.

And then I was accused wrongly of some things by my parents (and they came to me today with the correct response so it worked out) so my night was really shot. I ended up going to bed at 7 PM.

I felt bad about the church girl but I didn't want to apologize (call it pride or whatever but I'm not going to show my weak side now). So I haven't and don't plan on it.

But I thought a lot tonight about my priorities in life.

I don't want school to be an excuse for failing to enjoy my time with the girls I bring into my life (or being the reason I don't have the energy to be really sexual with them). I don't want a "bad" relationship with my parents to be the reason I'm depressed or feel I can't separate from them. I don't want not working full time and making enough money to be the reason I feel I can't grow. I don't want what my young adult pastor or college says about me and what I decide to do with my life to be the reason I don't be social, try to sleep with girls I want to sleep with, or the reason I feel unfulfilled and like I'm wasting away. Why must I always wait for "later" to be happy? To be successful? Isn't it all a choice?

So tomorrow I'm going to lower my hours I'm working (since I'm at home) and use that time to get ahead on my homework by a week at a time (I have 7 weeks left). I'm also going to get my resume looked at (yes, I did update it) and work on figuring out my living situation a bit more concretely.

How much do I value sleep? I do. It's important. But I value my freedom more. If I can get ahead in my school work, line up a full-time job, figure out my living situation, and focus on fully enjoying the time I spend with the people around me, then I know the things I really care about will become more abundant. I want to be really sexual with the church girl. I want to be a great lover to her. I want to get my degree and line up for a job I know I'll enjoy and can build my financial experience off of. I want to get my own place and grow.

I can't sacrifice on the things I really want because I feel like I have to settle for what I have.

NBW

 

[ElderPrice]

Hey ElderPrice,

Yeah - I like your suggestions. Those are really good ideas I haven't considered. I'll definitely implement those and see how it works for me. And yes, I don't have a place of my own to pull to (currently working towards that). But I definitely could work more on pulling to their place and was thinking about that more. Thanks for the feedback! It helps to realize I don't have to treat this so life and death like. I'm taking all the joy out of the seduction and it shows. Thanks

Glad I could help!

Regarding pulling to their place, the one thing I'd sell yourself on before trying is that it shouldn't be much of a difference from pulling to your place (if you had one). Unfortunately I can't speak to this from experience, but I've read all the articles here on the subject plus read a number of reports here on the subject, and they definitely imply or have the tone that pulling to her place should NOT be a big deal at all. It's a belief I hold, despite my personal failures.

So my point is, if you try to pull to hers and it doesn't seem to work, the problem is probably way upstream and not the pull itself. In my opinion.

 

[NewBeeWinner]

Update 11/10/19:

OK guys I can't do it anymore. I had some serious thoughts last night and realized "why do I need to repress my sexuality so much?" Tbh guys I'm afraid of how powerful this seduction stuff is. Sometimes I don't even want to maintain eye contact with someone because I can feel the connection being formed. But I realized that doesn't matter. I am not ashamed of my sexuality. I'm done with that. I'm tired of it. Along with this, I've decided to begin picking up girls from campus again - given I don't meet them while moving (i.e. we sit across from each other). Its more "natural" this way. I've missed out on quite a few pickups lately because I was afraid of talking to them.

I'm more aggressive with women. I need to maintain a DGAF attitude. I also realized I am still making a few mistakes in my text game that I'm fixing.

I went out today and was super horny all day. I was on a 30 day no fap streak and I wasn't even this horny. I did one approach at the bookstore talking to a woman with an amazing butt but I kept too far away, didn't get to the hook point, and didn't keep the conversation going. I also felt my face blush - I never blush guys. I also went to the mall and guys - I suck at mall pickup. Correction: I have no experience picking up in malls. None. Also went to the library and didn't do any approaches (but wow was there some cute girls there). But I don't have any experience picking up in the library. None.

I was glad I went out today because I haven't gone out in a while (with the aim of picking up). I made strong eye contact with quite a few women but didn't put in the approaches like I wanted to. But I also went to my most inexperienced venues. I want to get better at this. Today was a success in that I went out of the house.

I will give up anything to get better with women right now. I realized if I keep waiting until I'm moved out, I'm going to be missing so much that I'll regret. I'm not doing it. Fuck that.

So here's the deal. Next week I am going out for two hours every day to the venues as planned. My goal this upcoming week is exposure - building momentum at various venues and with different types of women. My goal is 5 approaches a day - 25 minimum for the week (2-3 each venue, every 20 minutes or so). The goal in the interaction is to get to the hook point with consistency. To open smoothly, correctly, keep the conversation going, and to hook. Now I know once I hook I'll probably get numbers. But my goal is to get to the hook point. If I get a date, my goal is to go back to her place.

I'm committing myself 100% to finishing my school work and to socializing. That's it.

That's all for this update - I'm sick of not getting results. Time to change it.

NBW

 

[NewBeeWinner]

Update 11/12/19:

I have my outing schedule and goals put together. I went out yesterday night to the store, but there wasn't any girls to approach. It gets pitch dark at around 5:20 PM now and it gets super cold once that happens, so people generally aren't out as much.

I did get one approach in today at the trusty dog park near the house right before it became too dark (I literally got to the dog park at 5:05 PM lol). I walked around and one girl down the way stood up and as I walked by I opened her. It was a relatively easy and smooth conversation, but come to find out, she's married (military) and has kids, so I didn't progress things past a social context. It was a nice conversation though and she was a decently attractive woman. It was a nice pick-me-up because I was worried I wasn't going to get any approaches in today

As a side note, because of it getting dark so early (and because I'm not much of a night gamer with my current schedule), I decided to take a one to one and a half hour time block I consistently have free every weekday and use that time to go out and do day game instead of going out in the evening, like I had originally planned. This time block is generally around lunch-time, which is good. I originally was using this time to catch up on homework, but I'll just do that in the evening instead. This way, there will actually be girls (that I can see) out and it'll make things a bit nicer.

I'll update as I make approaches.

On a life note, I have one month left before I graduate with my degree (so close!). I'm also starting to look for my next full-time job and am trying to decide where I want to move. I also think I'm going to follow a bit in Oh Pry's footsteps and see about maybe building up a photography brand for myself (without looking to make money, just as a way to provide value to others) and then using that to build a network and get laid from that. I took my own graduation pictures (and saved tons of money) lol.

So, the same goal is in effect. I'm just going to change the time I go out and see how that works.

NBW

 

[NewBeeWinner]

Update 11/14:

I didn't go out during the day Wednesday since I had big assignments to work on, but I did go to a photography training in the evening and had some sexual tension with a black girl that was ok. The teacher used me as a model and the girl qualified my looks a couple times but I wasn't too interested. She left early with her sister anyways.

Today I had a big exam and a big presentation (worth 20% my final grade) so I focused on those. Afterward, in the evening, I went to the church group and we went out afterwards. I'm connecting well with some of the guys and have decent tension with a lot of the girls, but I don't know how much more beneficial things will get than that.

I do see a lot of what guys do wrong from the group. One guy is married and his wife is cute (they're both young 20s) but he literally hangs off her and constantly is leaning over her obviously wanting a kiss, that she never gives him. Its a bit much.

I've decided I'm going to move to the new city once I graduate so I'm going to look for jobs. I also realized today from the most recent article something I've been wondering - what is the best type of game during the winter months? Its social circle and that makes so much sense.

So especially going into next year, I'll build a strong social circle with sexy girls before the winter months. Befriend a few hot girls and enjoy the benefits.

Heres to a good Friday and weekend.

NBW