Newbie Assignment Trouble

whoami

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 4, 2020
Messages
18
Hi all,

I've been out of the game for 5 years now, but back when I was in the game I never got over AA and feeling uncomfortable.

I tried recently to do the newbie assignment and running into a block just saying "Hi". Its weird I can say "Hi, do you have the time?" or "Hi, cool hair / cool dog" even though doing those is still hard but more doable than just saying "hi".

What's the psychology behind this and how do I get over it? Is there a smaller baby step before even saying"hi"?
 

Fluxcapacitor

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Dec 17, 2018
Messages
674
@whoami dude! The baby step to saying hi is a pre approach, make eye contact and give a warm smile. To difficult? A casual nod of the head or raise/flash of your eyebrows. Something that acknowledges her without having to do anything.

You can baby step saying hi by going further. If you can already say hi, cool hair! Hang in the conversation. A more natural path for this is say hi and follow up asking how she is/ if she's alright/ having a good day etc. It's a basic social canned line, but it'll get you confident because you know the script.

Use visualisation before you go out and see the successful approach. Eventually you've got to do it, once you do it a few times you'll realise it's fine. Worst case scenario she ignores you. Go out in the mind set this is practice mode, it'll make it easier as you won't feel the pressure.

Go for it dude!
 

whoami

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 4, 2020
Messages
18
@whoami dude! The baby step to saying hi is a pre approach, make eye contact and give a warm smile. To difficult? A casual nod of the head or raise/flash of your eyebrows. Something that acknowledges her without having to do anything.

You can baby step saying hi by going further. If you can already say hi, cool hair! Hang in the conversation. A more natural path for this is say hi and follow up asking how she is/ if she's alright/ having a good day etc. It's a basic social canned line, but it'll get you confident because you know the script.

Use visualisation before you go out and see the successful approach. Eventually you've got to do it, once you do it a few times you'll realise it's fine. Worst case scenario she ignores you. Go out in the mind set this is practice mode, it'll make it easier as you won't feel the pressure.

Go for it dude!

I can do the eye contact and smile no problem. Also staying in a set for a long time I can do as well. But I never ever was able to just say "hi" to many people. I will try again tomorrow :D.
 

Nicko

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Oct 31, 2020
Messages
66
Location
Australia
Personally for me i look for approach invitation first before approaching since it gives you immediate confidence to approach. She is more than likely to be warm to you and open to meet someone sexy(thats you ;) ). Treat cold approaching as a fun little game as you get the hang of it so your brain wont make it a big deal of it. The more you make a deal out of it the more nervous you become.Try to shoot your shot as soon as you see an approach invitation, the more you beat around the bush the more nervous you get. Hope what worked for me helped u <( ̄︶ ̄)>
You got this! Best of lucks :)
~Nicko
 

Tony D

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Jul 26, 2018
Messages
329
I've taught a lot of men infield daygame. Many of them asked me if they could do this "Hi" approach. I always tell them this... If you're going to open, you better try to close. Otherwise I'm going to drag you back to her by the collar, and tell her you're in gay transition therapy and you were supposed to be his first real girlfriend.

Moral of the story... do it right the first time and you'll shave years off your learning curve. AA isn't insurmountable. You just need to equip yourself mentally to deal with it... and commit to doing your approaches properly.

It's like the smoker who wants to quit by weening off, just having "One a day". It doesn't work. Cold turkey and quit... or smoke. Learning pickup is the same. Do it... or don't. Don't dabble and waste your time.

The eye contact and get a smile game is nonsense as well. A decent form of mental masturbation. If it makes you feel better about yourself, then great. But if a hot girl smiles at me, you better know I'm opening.

I have an entire 7 part daygame series. Read it. https://www.girlschase.com/content/day-game-tour-tony-depp-pt1-your-mindset

Also, I'm going to write an article based off this.
 
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whoami

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 4, 2020
Messages
18
I've taught a lot of men infield daygame. Many of them asked me if they could do this "Hi" approach. I always tell them this... If you're going to open, you better try to close. Otherwise I'm going to drag you back to her by the collar, and tell her you're in gay transition therapy and you were supposed to be his first real girlfriend.

Moral of the story... do it right the first time and you'll shave years off your learning curve. AA isn't insurmountable. You just need to equip yourself mentally to deal with it... and commit to doing your approaches properly.

It's like the smoker who wants to quit by weening off, just having "One a day". It doesn't work. Cold turkey and quit... or smoke. Learning pickup is the same. Do it... or don't. Don't dabble and waste your time.

The eye contact and get a smile game is nonsense as well. A decent form of mental masturbation. If it makes you feel better about yourself, then great. But if a hot girl smiles at me, you better know I'm opening.

I have an entire 7 part daygame series. Read it. https://www.girlschase.com/content/day-game-tour-tony-depp-pt1-your-mindset

Also, I'm going to write an article based off this.

That's all great but doesn't really address my issue
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
1,278
Location
South Florida
Hi all,

I've been out of the game for 5 years now, but back when I was in the game I never got over AA and feeling uncomfortable.

I tried recently to do the newbie assignment and running into a block just saying "Hi". Its weird I can say "Hi, do you have the time?" or "Hi, cool hair / cool dog" even though doing those is still hard but more doable than just saying "hi".

What's the psychology behind this and how do I get over it? Is there a smaller baby step before even saying"hi"?


Yeah that is fine! go with hi and observation if you feel more comfortable with that... just make sure you do the minimum number required... And then cont. on... The aa drills is just a guideline of progression... Recently i did one myself with mask on...
 

uriel

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Oct 21, 2019
Messages
316
Whatever feels more natural, just get them talking with you.
 

Glow

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
231
i agree w @Tony D

and i would add that Immediate Action is tre strongest destroyer of AA

the oldest trick for this is to use the three-second-rule

aka when you feel that uhlala i like you when you see a hot girl - make it a rule to go in within three seconds

condition yourself to this until it happens

dont think about anything else - your aims is just to move your feet in her direction and open immediately

follow the three-second-rule - make it an ingrained rule you just follow

set a hard intention - a decision to break through this one
 
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Train

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Feb 3, 2020
Messages
188
What helped me was just throwing myself into a set like Tony and Glow mention. You're forced to say something once you break that barrier. Then it's more awkward not to say something like "Hi, blah blah blah..."

I see it like getting into a cold shower. Just do it quickly without overthinking it. Even if it comes out weird, you can calibrate later and work with that.

Though it seems like you can approach with more complicated openers than "Hi" anyway, so I think you're good to move on, in my opinion.
 

Peterdk234

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Nov 18, 2019
Messages
304
IMO all these newbie assignments are useless. What worked for me was just approaching. I had 3 weeks summer vacation and decided now i would go hardcore on learning to daygame so first day i went out i did the usual walking around for hours walking past girls and then im like should i approach should i not... No she's too far away now... And after 20 times of that shit im just like "this pattern keeps repeating itself, now im just gonna do it" so i would walk past a girl and go "damn" and then i would instead go "no excuses this time, let's go" and i did one set. Then 10 minutes later i did another. I was ecstatic. I went home, got some food and went out again and did more approaches and i think i actually got 2-3 numbers out of 8 approaches?
 

whoami

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 4, 2020
Messages
18
IMO all these newbie assignments are useless. What worked for me was just approaching. I had 3 weeks summer vacation and decided now i would go hardcore on learning to daygame so first day i went out i did the usual walking around for hours walking past girls and then im like should i approach should i not... No she's too far away now... And after 20 times of that shit im just like "this pattern keeps repeating itself, now im just gonna do it" so i would walk past a girl and go "damn" and then i would instead go "no excuses this time, let's go" and i did one set. Then 10 minutes later i did another. I was ecstatic. I went home, got some food and went out again and did more approaches and i think i actually got 2-3 numbers out of 8 approaches?

I'm having the same thoughts now as well. Except 1st day I was asking for the time, commenting on pets etc. Then I had the thought of just saying hi. 2 days I went out and couldn't say hi to anyone. Then I came to your point of just going for a real approach. Then 2 days of walking around with that goal but ended in no approaches.
 

Peterdk234

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Nov 18, 2019
Messages
304
Yeah first time i went out i was paralyzed with fear ahaha. Eventually for me it just hurt more NOT to open girls than it did to open them.
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
1,278
Location
South Florida
IMO all these newbie assignments are useless. What worked for me was just approaching.


how are they useless the newbie assignments ALL center about approaching which cause progressive desensitization, you make no sense you are saying newbies assignment which main focus is approaching don't work, but just approach... You can not just approach since if you just approach you will likely fail which will increase the fear... You give micro wins which makes you micro lose being in your head till you lose the anxiety...
 

Skippy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 6, 2014
Messages
207
Some strategies I used in the past
  • Try just giving a compliment(or a full opener) with the intention of ejecting afterward. It's lower pressure because you're not worried about continuing the conversation and you'll get better initial reactions("oh thanks!") than you would if you're just asking for directions(neutral reactions).
  • Lower your target number of approaches in an outing. If you go out telling yourself that you have to do 8 approaches, you'll be too intimidated and won't do any. A smaller number at first is lower pressure.
  • Masturbate less frequently. No porn.
  • Check out her ass
  • you can use directions+eject or compliment+eject openers to practice pre-approach mechanics as well
And yes I also found it harder to just say 'hi' at first. Probably because asking for the time or directions feels like a 'safe' and 'reasonable' request from anyone. You don't feel like you'll get 'chewed out' for that. Meanwhile if you just say 'hi' with no plan for following up, you might feel like it's random.

Also there's this gem by Carousel https://www.skilledseducer.com/thre...-and-its-application-to-pu.21753/#post-118279
 

Rain

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
306
Moral of the story... do it right the first time and you'll shave years off your learning curve. AA isn't insurmountable. You just need to equip yourself mentally to deal with it... and commit to doing your approaches properly.

It's like the smoker who wants to quit by weening off, just having "One a day". It doesn't work. Cold turkey and quit... or smoke. Learning pickup is the same. Do it... or don't. Don't dabble and waste your time.

The eye contact and get a smile game is nonsense as well. A decent form of mental masturbation. If it makes you feel better about yourself, then great. But if a hot girl smiles at me, you better know I'm opening.

Part of it is willpower. The OP may not have the willpower to do closes on the bulk of his approaches. He may not have the willpower to stay inset either after opening or even standing near her. But I don't know if I have a practical solution to this willpower problem, besides what others have said about small steps. The OP may have his AA come back, 'the next day', but if his small steps process works and the AA is gone for that day, maybe its a process that could work for them.


Gunwitch has a few articles about maintaining eye contact, if brand new and shy/nervous, just try and maintain eye contact when you say hello.
"If I send in a brand new guy on his first approach with only one technical, I usually have him do E. first, because it sets the tone for who is more dominant.
Good eye contact frames you as the “man” or “sex partner,” not the “screwy, scared little guy she feels sorry for but still wants to be friendly with.” It’s similar to going direct without the stupid verbal ultimatums so that you can run another covert influence on top of it. "


There's also this close in the opener maybe the OP can try as well
"As a beginner, you can work on those simple three essentials for as many approaches as it takes for them to be automatic while you say, “Hey, I’m strapped for time at the moment, but I’d like to get your number and ask you out sometime?”
 
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