Ninja's Newbie Assignment

[LemurKing]

Check out my No Way Back the full picture.

Long story short, I was an extreme AFC for most of my life; fat, shy, timid, resentful, depressed, etc...
About a year ago I came to the conclusion that going on like I was wasn't a life worth living and decided to get my act together. Besides diet, gym and all that other sweet sweet self improvement cool aid, I started Game. but pushed myself too hard too fast and ended up burning out and quitting.

Now I'm starting over from scratch, doing Game properly, methodically, slowly, and correctly. However desperate I may be to get results and end this AFC nightmare, the process can not be rushed.

 

[LemurKing]

Day 1
November 30th, 2021​

Today's objective was to scout 4 locations that had sufficient foot traffic and were not reasonably far from me
The issue is that on weekdays such as today, I get off of work at 5PM and can start going out to Game around 6:30PM.

By that time, most of the locations around here have severely reduced foot traffic. Not enough to justify not going out to Game, but low enough to make things a bit more difficult. Another issue that's come up is the fact that I go to bed around 9:30PM to be up for work at 6AM so I don't have as much time to game as I'd like.

Locations​

• (N) Barnes and Nobel: Almost empty. Maybe good enough for a random approach here and there but defiantly not a spot to hang around solely for Game
• (Y) Local Mall: Small 1 story mall that had a decent amount of foot traffic. Not as much as other full size malls I've seen but good enough
• (Y) Target: Plenty of foot traffic. Also tones more women here than the Mall. I suspect they're mostly married but no matter. It will do
• (Y) Walmart: Same as Target. Lot's of foot traffic but with more men than Target. I'd prefer not to Game at my local Wallmart here but whatever
• (?) Downtown: Never made it here due to time restrictions and how fucking cold it was outside. I'll have to check this out another day, preferably during a weekend day around 12PM

Going Forward​

• Yes for the mall, Target, and Wallmart
• Re-scout all these locations again on a Saturday and Sunday around 12PM
• Re-scout all these locations again on a Friday after early work release (we get out early on Fridays)

 

[LemurKing]

Days 2 & 3​

December 7th, 2021

Long gap between Day 1 and now due to various other obligations and time constraints (my job is "unreasonable"). But anyways, decided to do days 2 and 3 together to catch up and because they are quite similar.

The objective today was to practice walking around with good posture and notice how they react to me as well as observe their own posture. Along with that, I had to make and hold eye contact with at least 10 people and notice their reactions
back straight, head up, eyes level, shoulders back, chest out a bit, smooth deep voice

I've been practicing good posture and eye contact around work so I have a bit of a head start with this

Posture​

I sort of cheated here because I wore a tight shirt that made my chest and shoulders stand out and I did my hair; so I'm not sure if my results are due to my style or my posture?

• People look at me more (when they notice me). Men and women. When I look their way they look away
• Most men and women seem to have neutral average posture (not what I was doing)
• Wish there was more people out tonight so I could get more observations

Eye Contact​

• So few people and they're all distracted. I kept walking around the mall and stores trying to get people to just look at me so I can go home!
• Made a bit of extended eye contact with a cute girl on the way back to my car. I looked away first. Feel like a coward for this. Wish I were braver
• When I did manage to make eye contact, most people, both men and women looked away and only a few looked down
• Some people held it for a bit longer
• Felt a kind of internal pressure when making and holding eye contact

Going Forward​

I plan on doing Day 4 tomorrow and recording and posting infield of me doing it (takes forever to edit though). I want to record and post infield footage for accountability purposes, a record of my journey, and feedback.

I also feel like I should just save Game practice for the weekends when there is more foot traffic and I have more time, but I also feel like, at least for the 14 Day Challenge, the amount of weekday foot traffic is enough. We'll see.

 

[Starboy]

Hey man it's good that you're trying out the newbie assignment. Just know that we can't post infield of any kind on here. It's a public forum that anyone can see so it's too risky for us as a community to have it unfortunately. Best thing to do is just describe what happened while you're out and take notes while you're infield so you can remember to journal it later.

 

[LemurKing]

Hey man it's good that you're trying out the newbie assignment. Just know that we can't post infield of any kind on here. It's a public forum that anyone can see so it's too risky for us as a community to have it unfortunately. Best thing to do is just describe what happened while you're out and take notes while you're infield so you can remember to journal it later.

Is this an actual rule? Was it ever stated in a post?

 

[LemurKing]

Day 4 - Pre Attempt Writeup​

December 10th 2021

There's this attractive girl at work I chickened out on approaching or even talking to casually and now I feel like a pathetic coward. My motivation's shot. I don't want to do this. It's dark out, I'm feeling down, it hurts inside, I violated my diet today and ate more than I should, and I feel like if I go out I'll just spend hours standing around to scared to approach

Let me just lay in bed, close my eyes, and sleep till the pain stops

But for some reason, I'm going out to complete this challenge anyways. Maybe it's because some part of me knows that, even though going out and possibly failing may hurt, sitting here and doing nothing will hurt just as worse.

I wish I weren't like this. I wish I were confident, charming, not needy, relaxed, happy...
But this is life
Win or lose, at least I can say I tried, and maybe that's enough?

 

[LemurKing]

Day 4​

December 10th 2021

Well, I did it
Low mood, shitty voice and tonality but I still did it. Good part was that I at least kept my posture good.
Hit up my local wallmart and just walked up and said "Hello" to 6 random women; not all of whom I found attractive but it's wall mart at 7PM at night so give me a break.

Some things I've noticed

1. After saying "Hello", I felt pressure to add something to it, whether that be a compliment or an observation, etc... It would just be much more awkward for me not to say something more
2. Walked up to a 2 set checking out makeup, said hello and then said I thought they were cute and wanted to say hi.
   Voice and tonality was weak, as if I was asking if it was okay that I was approaching them and not surprisingly they looked at me strange but in that moment and afterwards, I had the strangest thought/feeling
   
   "What the fuck is wrong with them? Are they socially retarded, shy, awkward or something?"
   Like WTF, people socialize, and talk to each other, men approach women, that's normal, that's how things work. Maybe they're the ones that have the problem and not me.
   A potentially dangerous and backwards way of thinking but it did occur to me spontaneously.
3. I'm starting to care a bit less about what they think of me. Like so what if I approach you and say "hello" and then just walk off. Shove it if you have a problem!

 

[LemurKing]

Day 5 - Ninja's Revenge​

December 11th 2021

Visited a distant city for non Game related reasons and on the way back decided "fuck it, let's stop at a mall and knock out day 5". Even though I still felt down and unmotivated I did it.

One core idea I went in with was that I was giving myself permission to fail. If I only did 2 approaches, or did 6 but only after chickening out on a bunch of other approaches, that that would be okay. I wasn't going to torture myself over failure.

The mall I went to was one of the main malls I frequented when I made my poor attempts at learning game many months ago.
The horrible memories of wandering around that place for hours too terrified to approach and crying in my car afterwards at how pathetic I was, still lingered with me.

The objective was to say "Hello, how's you're day going" to 6 women.
5 minutes after walking in, I did it. It was awkward and I came off as a bit creepy but afterwards something hit me.
I made an approach after only 5 minutes of walking into a place that nearly gave me PTSD months ago!

The rest of the challenge went pretty smoothly. I did chicken out on a few approaches here and there; made some stupid assumptions in my head, etc... but that was okay. I left feeling like I accomplished something

One core takeaway from this is that:
Maybe I don't have to be in a super high, motivated, and happy mood in order to successfully Game.

 

[LemurKing]

Day 6​

December 12th 2021

I was going to take this Sunday off completely and do day 6 tomorrow but I was at my local wallmart buying some things and said "fuck it".

The objective today to talk to 1 women. That's it. Does not matter what I say, just talk. But there was a bonus challenge to try to get rejected so I went for the challenge. TLDR is that I completed the challenge and got a bit mind fucked.

The Interaction​

Saw this okay looking blonde and I was about to bail because my brain said "Ah, no, she's married" but something in me just made me do it and my legs started walking.

I said, in the most sorry and pathetic voice one can muster:
"Excuse me, do you want to watch me play guitar?"

And as I was walking away she said:
"Well, uhm, do you play guitar"

I turned around and went from shy Game mode to WTF just happened mode
I literally told her that I'm a complete stranger and asked her if she was really about to say yes. That kind of made her close down a bit like I just shamed her for something.

Take Away​

We talked a bit, got her number for a jam session. I did notice that I came off bit needy and unconfident during our interaction. I can't exactly put my finger on why but I have this vision in my head of how an ideal me would act and it did not line up with how things went.

I'm also noticing I have a problem where when I make my voice deeper, it looses all... "emotion" and "spice". It's dull and boring.

Also, fuck assumptions. If I would have listend to that "she's married" bullshit my mind told me none of this would have happened.

She won't be responding to my texts, I already know, but that wasn't the point. I complected today's challenge and that's all that matters.

 

[LemurKing]

Day 7​

December 14th 2021

Objective was to direct open 4 women through compliments. After the compliment, you must introduce yourself; then you can cleave or continue

First set, I was at Walmart an in a rush to complete the sets and get out. Did 2 sets but because I was rushing, they were just horrible. Lesson learned; do not rush Game practice sessions

Despite it being a bit late after Walmart, I knew I wouldn't be ale to sleep if I didn't complete Day 7 tonight so I went back out to a clothing department store where I know lot's of Women frequent. I usually avoid these stores because they are so small and packed and I'm afraid of people seeing me Game.

Completed my remaining two sets in the department store

Take Away​

I'm noticing that I am approaching with much less hesitation

My fundamentals such as posture, deep voice, tonality, and speed of speech are also quite good during the beginning of the interaction but as it goes on they falter. I also tend to bail early, especially if the set is showing interest or attraction.

Another issue I suspect I have is that, if I don't see any immediate obvious indicators of interest after an open, I assume she's not interested which I suspect to not always be true. Just because she does not immediately show interest does not mean she's not interested, or I'm just don't know yet how to properly read IOI's, especially on a more subtle level

Frustration​

I can see that I'm making progress, but I want, so very badly, to be making faster progress. I should maintain my fundamentals throughout the whole set and should be at least attempting to close by now instead of opening and then running away

I know I should be kinder and more patient with myself but it's so hard to shake these desires for rapid progress. It's like I just started playing the violin 3 months ago and now I'm angry I can't play a concert with like the big boys.

 

[LemurKing]

Day 10​

December 20th 2021

Spent the last few days trying to complete Days 8 and 9 (approach sitting down and on mass transit) but with no luck. My location and schedule just don't work out to allow me to do these two assignments so I'm saving them for when I visit family back home (much larger city and more free time)

The Challenge​

Today's objective was to approach 4 women and ask if they are single; that's it
First location was the local Target. Wandered around for a few minutes, skipped out on a few approaches because of anxiaty and fear but eventually got in 3 in. Then moved to TJMax and got one more in

Lot's of attractive women in both locations
All my approaches said they were single
Two of them simply said they were taken without much interest, the other two seemed to be somewhat invested and want to continue the interaction after they said they were single, but once again, I bailed early. While I did complete what I set out to do (I was not required to sustain), my lack of sustainment is going to be an issue that I will need to work on. I can't just bail at the first sign of anxiety.

I suspect they were all telling the truth that they were taken, but if I were to improve my voice fundamentals; I think even the two who showed little interest would have been a bit more invested. My voice has gotten deeper and more masculine but it still gives off a needy, fearful, and monotone vibe.

I did notice some women looking at me. One part of my mind was telling me those stares were IOIs and to approach, another was making up reasons why they were not a and to not approach.

Another interesting tidbit; I decided to try on some cloths at TJMax. When I took off my jacket (It's cold as fuck outside) to reveal my tight button up undershirt that accentuates my physique, especially my chest and arms, women started looking at me, like a lot more. One of the workers at TJMax even complimented me and seemed to show interest. I chose not to try to get her number because I've read numerous times that one should not Game "hired guns".

Take Away​

1. Although there's still approach anxiety, there's much less than there was months ago; I'm proud of this
2. I'm becoming more aware and preset; I notice my thought process and can separate my self from it
3. Need to work on sustainment; i.e. remain in the interaction longer, regardless of their response (I think it's called plowing?)
4. Need to act on women who show IOIs
5. Continue to work on voice tonality and vibe
6. I feel uncomfortable wearing cloths that make me look attractive; Like I can't handle the attention I get
7. Most of the women were taken, but I suspect in a different location, and with more approaches than just 4, I would have gotten a few "I'm single"

Next Steps​

Going home to Orlando FL for Christmas vacation! Lot's of very attractive women there, especially tourists and not work obligations. While I must be careful to not overwhelm myself, I should take advantage of this opportunity to get in as much game practice as possible.

With this vacation, one thing that must absolutly be given attention to, is my process and objectives. I can not go out Gaming without an objective like I used to months ago. Doing that led to frustration, low confidence, and eventually giving up Game. When going out, I must have specific, measurable, objectives to complete and skills to work on. I must also take not to be kind and forgiving with myself; give myself permission to fail. Beating myself up over approach anxiety and missed approaches onl leads to further missed approaches and anxiety.

 

[LemurKing]

Day 12 -In Progress Resistance​

I told myself I'd go to this massive mall, return something a baught a while a go, then complete Day 11 here.

It's only 4 approaches, I've done almost hundreds begore this, why so much resistance now, why this fear.

My minds making excuses now, I'm falling apart

• They don't speak english!
• You'll be rememberd
• Your family will find out
• You'll come off as creepy and fail
• You're not attractive enough

As I sit in this mall bathroom stall writing this, I'm reminded of my first attempts at Game almost 6 months ago. Hours wandering with no approaches; so much fear, self hatred, tears, and long lonely nights

Not again, not again. I'm not doing that again.

Just conplete the assignment, do your reps, then go home. Be kind bd with yourself, but be brave.

 

[Starboy]

Good effort man. If you keep pushing yourself you will make great progress.

I chose not to try to get her number because I've read numerous times that one should not Game "hired guns".

Not sure where you read that or why you came to that conclusion. Here's the thing if it's a place that you frequent ALOT and something negative happens between you two and see her there consistently it could be feel awkward,but a lot of that is in your head.

I remember this cute girl who worked at this vitamin shoppe who guaranteed liked me (dropped iois),but because I always went there frequently to buy after workout protein shakes I never made a move because I thought what if things get awkward? Then everytime I go to the store I risk the possibility of seeing her. Coulda been a girl I woulda really kicked it off with,but I choose to just avoid hitting on her cuz I was worried about "consequences" that are not likely to happen. She doesn't work there anymore and there are plenty of other hired guns who I could've had a chance with who no longer work in my neighborhood. But it's a tj max and how often are you really gonna go to tj max? So fuck that no hired gun bs if she's dropping hints go for it.

 

[LemurKing]

Good effort man. If you keep pushing yourself you will make great progress.

Not sure where you read that or why you came to that conclusion. Here's the thing if it's a place that you frequent ALOT and something negative happens between you two and see her there consistently it could be feel awkward,but a lot of that is in your head.

I remember this cute girl who worked at this vitamin shoppe who guaranteed liked me (dropped iois),but because I always went there frequently to buy after workout protein shakes I never made a move because I thought what if things get awkward? Then everytime I go to the store I risk the possibility of seeing her. Coulda been a girl I woulda really kicked it off with,but I choose to just avoid hitting on her cuz I was worried about "consequences" that are not likely to happen. She doesn't work there anymore and there are plenty of other hired guns who I could've had a chance with who no longer work in my neighborhood. But it's a tj max and how often are you really gonna go to tj max? So fuck that no hired gun bs if she's dropping hints go for it.

Ha your right, it's not like I'm religiously visiting TJ max like a Church or a coffee shop.
It's hard to differentiate between legitimate reasons not to act and bullshit excuses born out of fear and desperation; I suppose that is part of the journey though isn't it?

 

[LemurKing]

Day 12 - After Action Failure Plan​

December 25th 2021
Wandered about the mall without making any approaches, came close a few times but that's not how it works.

Either it's done or it's not; either "you preggers or you ain't" as my middle school music teacher would say after reminding me how in his 25 years of teaching, I was the only student ever to have broken a Triangle.

After some self-loathing, anhedonia, and mediation, I see from this failure, and now, from many others before like it, a chance to learn something

What The Fuck Happened Back There!​

I've done so many approaches before and if you read the earlier posts in this journal, you'll see me reporting that my AA was getting much better and I was getting a handle on fearful intrusive thoughts. So, what the fuck happened back there!

My theory is that I'm not comfortable or experienced with the types of sets available at this mall

• Moving sets
• Look young enough to possibly be a minor
• Have an older male nearby (could be a father)
• On the phone or have earbuds in
• Look like they're tourists and/or may not speak English
• Large amounts ton of people around
• etc...

I'm used to doing stationary, single sets with low to moderate amounts of people around

Set Type Acustomization - Does this Exist Already?​

Did I spell that right? Probably not
I need to ease my way into different types of sets; go through an "onboarding" type of process, similar to how the 14 Day Noob challenge slowly onboards you into Game in general

Example Onboarding Assignment​

For the set types characterized by paralyzing AA, perform these sub-assignments with those set types

1. Just walk around and observe, get comfortable just being around these types of sets
2. Practice good fundamentals around them - posture, eyes, walk
3. "Hello, How's your day going" 6-10 sets
4. Genuine compliment 6-10 sets
5. "Are you single" 6-10 sets
6. Direct - Indirect 6-10 sets
7. Final Assignment...

Process Doubts​

I wish I were braver and more courageous. I feel pathetic having to go through a process like this just to open new types of sets and worst of all, I'm not sure if this will even work

What if this is just a big waste of time that leads to little to no progress? Is there a better way to go about this? I mean logically, it makes sense right

As a software engineer, when I'm working on a client's project that involves a programming language I've never touched, I don't jump straight into product development, I create a few small side projects to get comfortable with the language, feel it out, understand it better. Should learning Game be different from learning any other skill?

I don't know, I'm so new at this that I don't know what I don't know

Fuck this is so hard

 

[pancakemouse]

Set acclimatization makes sense to me, I have never had AA in my life but still had trepidation about doing seated sets and store sets and group sets at the beginning.

All it took was watching some other guys do them in real life then doing a few myself, now I open anything in any situation.

 

[sab]

All it took was watching some other guys do them in real life then doing a few myself, now I open anything in any situation.

Can you expand on that? I approach mainly solo girls on the beach or those walking their dogs. Most girls in my area are very active i.e: jogging, cycling, volley-ball. What techniques do you use for these situations (seated sets, walking/group sets)? I admire your cool/fearlessness. I used to have AA but after making several, it is mostly gone. It is the biggest variable in terms of pulling girls. I am trying to adopt the British SAS motto "Who Dares (in approaching) Win".

 

[pancakemouse]

I don't do anything different than you'd learn in any daygame video.

say a short opener like hey or excuse me -> calibrate off her reaction -> go direct or indirect depending on situation
if indicators of disinterest -> eject
if indiicators of interest -> escalate

 

[LemurKing]

Set acclimatization makes sense to me, I have never had AA in my life but still had trepidation about doing seated sets and store sets and group sets at the beginning.

All it took was watching some other guys do them in real life then doing a few myself, now I open anything in any situation.

"Set Acclimatization Theory"...
I like it, let's see if it does me any good

 

[sab]

Exposure Therapy is the process by which you lessen your fear and become more comfortable. The more you do it, the better it gets. Read the short story of Dr Albert Ellis on how he overcame AA. Dr Ellis was an early PUA. Albert Ellis.