Oh shit, she's pregnant (I'm 19). Any ideas what to do? Abortion illegal in her country...

[Wanderer]

Hey guys, got some trouble here.

Little background: I was on a trip in Asia, everything was awesome. Slept with a couple girls (virgin before this), went snorkeling, jungle trekking, everything.

Now there was a girl in Indonesia who I liked and hung out with for a week or two. I left the country because of Corona. She's a cool girl, right now I think she's very cute but I'm also still quite inexperienced. She's from a good, stable family, just moved out of the house this month and is working as a consultant. She's twenty.
She's pregnant now, she tested it. We had a long talk on the phone and she wants to abort, seeing we both are not at all in a good place to raise a child at the moment. The problem is, abortion is illegal in Indonesia, and because of Corona most (all?) borders are closed at the moment.

I'm looking up if there are any countries still open that allow abortion, as well as contacting international organizations that help women get abortion pills in countries like Indonesia.


If anyone has tips or information on how to get abortion pills/other ways of doing abortion/countries that are still open that allow abortion, that would be great.
Any advice/experiences with similar situations would be great to hear as well.

 

[Teevster]

My suggestion (I have no experience with this) is to call your local department of foreign affairs and ask for advice, and perhaps consider getting in touch with your countries' embassy in Indonesia. Ask for advice and ask for help.

I would also reach out to women's right NGO's and other NGO's who work with health issues or anything related. They may be of help.

Sorry to not be of better help - but I think this is what you should do.

Have you talked to your parents yet? I think you should do this asap.

I also suggest you find a good lawyer and discuss the matter with him - he may send you to a more specialized lawyer - who pehaps knows indonesian law or international law...

You are not doing a case against her, but you are using a lawyer to find loopholes here to get your girl to do an abortion if she so desires it.

My advice - keep your head cold and act fast.

 

[ljrozz69]

Hello Wanderer,

I suggest following the advice that has been already given to you.
But in case you were a tourist and didn't know the girl very well, I suggest to be aware that golddiggers exist and telling you that you now have a son is a possible strategy.
In case she doesnt abort I recommend getting a paternity test.

Klimax

 

[Teevster]

Hello Wanderer,

I suggest following the advice that has been already given to you.
But in case you were a tourist and didn't know the girl very well, I suggest to be aware that golddiggers exist and telling you that you now have a son is a possible strategy.
In case she doesnt abort I recommend getting a paternity test.

Klimax

Yes, and while you are at it, ask your lawyer about possible legal implications of her having that child - i.e. can they force you to pay child support and so on.

 

[Wanderer]

Thanks a lot guys.

Alright, I told my parents, they were not happy hahah but it's probably best to tell them indeed.

Called the foreign affairs and the embassy but they couldn't help because they said it's illegal.

However after contacting some NGO's it's looking like it'll be possible to get some combination of arthritis and gastronomic infection pills (sounds a bit sketchy) and in the right doses they should cause a miscarriage / abortion, according to the WHO. Also there's a chance that through one NGO (womenonweb.org - if anyone else ever reads this and needs it) it'll be possible to get the official pills. Some trouble though with limited air traffic at the moment.

Looking good though.

And yeah I doubt she's in it for the money but who knows, and I'll certainly do a DNA test if all goes wrong.

Good idea about the lawyer, hadn't thought about that. I'll definitely do that if these pills don't work out. She's calling some abortion hotline about how to get those pills now, and if she wants to.. She's quite religious and not sure yet if she want them, I'm trying to get her to take them but I can't force her. I told her I'm not able to raise a kid now and that if she wants to keep it she'll have to do it on her own. I figured I can always decide to do more later, but for now, especially if she's unsure about whether she wants an abortion, I think it's best to tell her I won't do anything.

 

[Teevster]

She's quite religious and not sure yet if she want them, I'm trying to get her to take them but I can't force her.

In regards to making the girl take the abortion, I suggest you private message a poster called skills. Tell him to give you some advice on that.

I suggest you message him ASAP.

What did you parentd suggest?

Alright, I told my parents, they were not happy hahah but it's probably best to tell them indeed.

I mean you did fuck up. You know, so I do not need to judge you. It won't help you. But yeah the reason I told you to do this is not because i though I want you to get "shit" from you parents (although you kind of deserve it), but more that in such serious situation, you need mature adults on your side, with knowledge about life and resources, but also emotional support. At 29, you may legally be an adult, but you ain't one yet. But this event, no matter the outcome will surely make you mentally age 5 years or so.

Called the foreign affairs and the embassy but they couldn't help because they said it's illegal.

Sure... but ask them what is prone to happen IF the baby comes out. They have a duty to advice you on such matter.

Just so we are clear - you contact the ministry of foreign affair of your country, not theirs!

 

[Wanderer]

Hey, just got some crazy luck. She literally just had a miscarriage.

Wow, I got scared from this one. And yes, I fucked up. I'll definitely be a lot more careful from now on.

Can't believe the luck, but got off the hook on this one.

Thanks man for the advice.

 

[Teevster]

So happy to hear this. Enjoy your week end!

 

[Skills]

Hey, just got some crazy luck. She literally just had a miscarriage.

Wow, I got scared from this one. And yes, I fucked up. I'll definitely be a lot more careful from now on.

Can't believe the luck, but got off the hook on this one.

Thanks man for the advice.

Yes! i had a hint that this would happen the constant stress she was put through cause the miscarriage, i had a similar experience... One of my techniques is design to put constant stress on the girl....

Whoever is reading is not necessary to involve the parents if they have religuious backgrounds or religuious.... If you know they are liberal and would help to push the abortion that is when you involve HER parents.... if you do not have that intelligence don't involve parents

 

[Velasco]

One of my techniques is design to put constant stress on the girl....

The Office Ryan GIF - The Office Ryan Taking - Discover & Share GIFs

Click to view the GIF

tenor.com

 

[Starboy]

Yeah bro wrap it up if you go hunting for pussy. Its unfortunate this had to happen. That poor girl will probably have some trauma related to her miscarriage. Abortion is not an easy thing to do and this pandemic just inflates the stress that everybody else already has in their lives.

 

[Seppuku]

Regarding the legal aspect ("can they force me to pay for child support?").

If you are not an Indonesian national, and are currently resident in another country, there would be the question of finding a court who is juridically competent to rule on these matters. Say you live in Europe or US. There would be the question of whether a court in Indonesia is juridically competent to rule on a non Indonesian citizen resident of Europe or US. And the most likely answer is, there is no such court.

She would then be obliged to hire a lawyer in your country and raise the case to a court there - assuming she knows your full name. An expensive solution.

From the legal point of view, it appears you are very safe.

 

[Skills]

Just be careful guys a girl prego, does not mean is yours....specially long distance relationships....Always get a paternity test before signing anything

 

[trashKENNUT]

mean you did fuck up. You know, so I do not need to judge you. It won't help you. But yeah the reason I told you to do this is not because i though I want you to get "shit" from you parents (although you kind of deserve it),

Interesting.

One of Girlschase moderator, tribal elder once noted that having a PHD doesn't mean someone has a point, or that he is smarter. He was implying that David Tian is just as retarded as an SJW. Because most liberals and lefttist are college degree holders.

There's just something about high level guys I observe throughout the years. They are just as SUBJUGATED as those they criticize. They are still state/system dependent just like everyone else.

I think this is definitely from growing up and the school system.

That retaining of religion/morality.

I find it quite amusing. Only Hector and Chase seems to be state independent, just by how I observed their writings, their nuances.

And my gut feeling is never never wrong on this observations

 

[Teevster]

Interesting.

One of Girlschase moderator, tribal elder once noted that having a PHD doesn't mean someone has a point, or that he is smarter. He was implying that David Tian is just as retarded as an SJW. Because most liberals and lefttist are college degree holders.

There's just something about high level guys I observe throughout the years. They are just as SUBJUGATED as those they criticize. They are still state/system dependent just like everyone else.

I think this is definitely from growing up and the school system.

That retaining of religion/morality.

I find it quite amusing. Only Hector and Chase seems to be state independent, just by how I observed their writings, their nuances.

And my gut feeling is never never wrong on this observations

What are you smoking?

 

[trashKENNUT]

Girlschase moderator judging people?

Kinda hypocrite doesn't it?
And lack some level of awareness to recognize you doing as such?

And best of all, selling pickup? And then judge people?

You are the last person I expect to be "moral and judgement" when you kinda treat some members in the forum like shit.

Obviously I don't know your intention. And it's just words right?

 

[Chase]

@Wanderer,

Another reason not to tell your parents would have been that a lot of girls will do pregnancy scares as an excuse to rope a guy in more.

Girl gets pregnant, than luckily miscarriages later.

Sometimes it's real. I had a girl go through it and it was indeed real. She had all the hormonal changes of pregnancy, body changed, breasts filled out, but she was super stressed by the situation and miscarried. And stress will lead to miscarriages.

So, it does happen.

But also, there is actually a huge market online for fake positive pregnancy tests:

fake pregnancy test at DuckDuckGo

DuckDuckGo. Privacy, Simplified.

duckduckgo.com

Most sites make it out as "It is just a joke, haha!" but the women who are doing it rarely reveal it is fake.

Because it is a test, or a way to rope a guy back in, not actually "a joke."

Not sure which is the case here, could be either.


ZACADAM VS. TEEVSTER

@ZacAdam, it is not entirely clear what you took issue with in the section of @Teevster's post you quoted.

I think you mean him saying that impregnating the girl was fucking up? As in, you are saying "Actually impregnating a girl is not fucking up" -- is that right?

That was my read.

If so, the only reason I am able to understand that is because impregnating girls is to me a sort of moral gray area... sure, it is going to cause some chaos in your and their lives, but it is also bringing new life into the world, which is cool.

So for me that is not necessarily an automatic fuck-up.

But to someone who is coming from a traditional European/North American paradigm, knocking someone up on a casual fling is something you just accept is a fuckup, and everyone accepts as a fuckup, and you pointing out that Teevster is judging something as a fuckup from within a paradigm he does not realize is a distinct paradigm is not going to be clear to anyone who doesn't realize you could see a random impregnation as anything other than "a fuckup."

Thus -- if you want people to know what you are saying, you've gotta be clear, man!

You need to actually state "It is interesting that Teevster regards knocking this girl up as a fuckup. This is a distinctly blah blah paradigm, and I'm not saying I necessarily disagree with it, but I was actually pretty surprised to see a guy I thought had broken so many paradigms clearly have a strong mainstream opinion on something sexual/reproductive like this."

Without clarifying what you are talking about it, to someone operating from within a paradigm it just sounds like crazy talk

Thus why @Teevster reacted with "What are you smoking?"

I agree, we want to refrain from judging people, especially in moderator roles.

I'm more ambivalent about "if you sell pickup, you can't judge people" because obviously a lot of guys who are PUAs have very strong opinions.

One important note here though: Teevster typically does not do moderation himself. He took on an admin role to help with admin tasks. But he does not directly moderate any threads typically.

He even directly said to me before I gave him the admin role that he did not want to be a moderator because he is opinionated and that doesn't mesh well with moderation.

More recently he proposed letting him retain admin duties but remove the moderator rank and badge from him so he can get on here and mix it up without guys thinking the mod team is partial. Teevster likes to be able to get into debates and have conversations with guys and talk about opinions without the moderator thing getting in the way.

Maybe this can help your thinking about him -- but he is not treating his discussions usually as "moderator conversations."

Chase

 

[trashKENNUT]

Sorry CHASE BIGBOSS.

I am Still not good at explaining things.

I just have an issue when pregnancy comes up and people playing the moral high ground.

 

[Fuck This]

SO to generate some guidelines regarding pregnancies...

From an American/European perspective. If you impregnate a foreign national in Indonesia, are they able to come after you for child support if you leave the country? From what I read from Seppuku, most likely not. Is this the case in other countries? Granted it may make that country off limits to you in the future.

After a quick google search

What countries have special arrangements with the U.S. or individual states regarding child support enforcement?
The 2007 Hague Convention on the International Recovery of Child Support and Other Forms of Family Maintenance (the Hague Convention) has been in effect in the United States since Jan. 1, 2017. The Hague Convention provides greater cooperation and streamlines case processing among participating countries

In addition to the Hague Convention, the U.S. government has federal-level reciprocity arrangements for child support with several other countries, called Foreign Reciprocating Countries. See the lists of Hague Convention countries and Foreign Reciprocating Countries and links to other useful information on our International webpage.

If the custodial parent lives in the United States and the parent who owes child support lives in a Hague Convention country or a Foreign Reciprocating Country, the other country will assist the U.S. in working the case.

If the custodial parent lives in a Hague Convention country or a Foreign Reciprocating Country, and the parent who owes child support lives in the United States, then the U.S. will assist the other country with its case.

If the country involved in your case is not a Hague Convention country or a Foreign Reciprocating Country, it may have a state-level arrangement with one or more U.S. states. For more information about state-level reciprocity and help with your case, see FAQ 5.

• Albania
• Argentina
• Armenia
• Austria
• Bahamas
• Belarus
• Belgium
• Belize
• Bosnia and Herzegovina
• Brazil
• Bulgaria
• Burkina Faso
• Canada
• Chile
• Colombia
• Costa Rica
• Croatia
• Cyprus
• Czech Republic
• Denmark
• Dominican Republic
• Ecuador
• El Salvador
• Estonia
• Fiji
• Finland
• France
• Georgia
• Germany
• Greece
• Guatemala
• Honduras
• Hong Kong (China)
• Hungary
• Iceland
• Ireland
• Israel
• Italy
• Japan
• Latvia
• Lithuania
• Luxembourg

• Macau (China)
• Malta
• Mauritius
• Mexico
• Moldova, Republic of
• Monaco
• Montenegro
• Netherlands
• New Zealand
• Nicaragua
• Norway
• Panama
• Paraguay
• Peru
• Poland
• Portugal
• Republic of Korea (from 1 June 2015)
• Romania
• Saint Kitts and Nevis
• San Marino
• Serbia
• Singapore
• Slovakia
• Slovenia
• South Africa
• Spain
• Sri Lanka
• Sweden
• Switzerland
• Thailand
• The Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia (FYROM)
• Trinidad and Tobago
• Turkey
• Turkmenistan
• Ukraine
• United Kingdom
• United States of America
• Uruguay
• Uzbekistan
• Venezuela
• Zimbabwe.

 

[Carousel]

SO to generate some guidelines regarding pregnancies...

From an American/European perspective. If you impregnate a foreign national in Indonesia, are they able to come after you for child support if you leave the country? From what I read from Seppuku, most likely not. Is this the case in other countries? Granted it may make that country off limits to you in the future.

Hague Convention on the International Recovery of Child Support and Other Forms of Family Maintenance - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

Ask a lawyer about how/whether this is actually enforced in your country.

You can't really make general questions about legal matters, there are profound differences in the family legislation even within the West.